What are the most annoying and cringeworthy lines that you repeatedly see in reviews?
Here's my list to get it started, just to name a few: - She told me to fuck her and who am I to say no?- I gave her a fifth O
- RUN, don't walk to this lady
- She handed me a Magnum due to my size
- YMMV guys, I think she was into me because I've been told I'm attractive and have a nice dick
- She didn't even notice the donation! And finally, at the end of so many thousands of reviews:
"TREAT HER RIGHT GENTS!"
-- Modified on 5/20/2024 12:24:03 PM
"We fell into each other's arms like long-lost lovers."
"We made out like two teenagers."
Yep, good one.
I also forgot
“I didn’t want to write this review because I wanted to keep her all to myself.”
-- Modified on 5/20/2024 4:35:01 AM
learned the difference between 'your" and "you're", even after I provided you a link to a free educational video on how to tell the difference. Makes you look lame AF.
It is very lame to troll and flame the few providers that post here on a regular basis.
was not 100% accurate and true? Would you like a link to the post where I provided her the educational link?
It seems you just revealed yourself as one of the misogynists here. If you were not, you would know that you should be treating everyone here the same. Why else would you think providers cannot speak for themselves? You believe women are weak, and that they need a white-knight to come to their rescue, while I think everyone, provider or customer, should be treated the same. Shame on you for thinking women are so weak they need to be treated differently than men. THAT'S lame AF. I see you got plenty of "likes" from the other misogynists here. We always knew they were here. We just don't know who all of them are yet.
-- Modified on 5/20/2024 3:59:27 PM
No, again, it is just you. You are the problem on this board. Just you.
Nothing you said was wrong. You are correct about the usage of your and you're. The thing is I don't care. I'm not looking to hire professional writers, I'm looking to hire a provider. I'm here to get information about escorts and to avoid getting ripped off. I'm not here for some pedantic asshole prattle on about grammar. I know you aren't trying to help anyone, you're just trolling and trying to get under a providers skin. Its middle school behavior from an emotionally stunted John.
Its not white-knighting, its pure self interest. If you are nice to people they are more likely to want to be around you. I want providers to participate in the forum because they provide useful information that actually helps people get laid. You claim to have all this knowledge but you never actually add anything useful to any conversation. The only thing you do here is troll and you clearly get a lot of joy and amusement from upsetting others and getting a reaction from them. You like to be insufferable, which drives providers off the board and makes the board worse for everyone else. The providers aren't weak and don't need protection. They just log off. I would rather you log off instead. You're a net negative.
I get it, you're you're miserable to "EVERYONE" and are therefore treating everyone "EQUALLY" bad. Nobody expects you to be nice to providers or to be nice to anyone for that matter. I'm just pointing out how lame your behavior is, I don't expect to change it.
This post is glorious.
Thank you.
Scarlet
"It's middle school behavior from an emotionally stunted John." That is the funniest thing I have read here...maybe ever? Thank you for that hysterical belly laugh!
saying, "The thing is (should be a comma here) I don't care", and then you go on and on with your diatribe. Believe or not, this board has proliferated for years before you got here. Providers come and go, and it might surprise you have many of them I have seen along the way. Your arrogance in being here since February and calling people out for their content is laughable. Don't get your panties in a bunch, babe. You are quickly making yourself even more irrelevant.
You seem to argue in every thread. Do you ever leave your basement? Instead of hijacking every single conversation with your tedious nonsense, why not get a life? Sorta pathetic how you turn every discussion into your personal battlefield.
And you are one of the main reasons that makes them "go."
When I said "I don't care" I was clearly talking about the difference between "your and you're" but you're a pedantic asshole who constantly misses the forest for the trees.
is name-calling? That's a clear sign of surrender. Awkward walk-back for someone who at least made it to the eighth grade. Lol
Your lack of self awareness and delusion is entertaining. I do enjoy calling you names, it is a lot of fun.
Since I am clearly outclassed and outmaneuvered I must admit defeat and officially surrender. Waiving the white flag.
And that guy is seriously hurt.
Thanks for pointing out the obvious, 420!!!
It is almost like there is someone on here that continues to post just to drive away the providers to make this board a sausage fest circle jerk. I wonder who that could be.....
It's a rating for "Overall Looks" if you want to give her a 4 in the Looks department.
It was a simple question...
One of my most annoying is...
I pounded away and she took it like a champ.
No necessary in reviews , but 500 “ roses” make me cringe . Or donation. It’s Fee, just a fee.
Agreed! I guess this is getting out of reviews and into the ads a bit, but still.
Roses, kisses, donation, investment, remuneration, tribute, honorarium, it’s all so cringe. They’re called dollars. It’s your rates. Or, as you said, the fee. It’s just the fee.
It's a cliche/euphemism in the BDSM world (i.e. Queen Bia). It's their way to dignify the money they get for fucking/pissing on you/pegging your ass. And that's all it is.
True enough. You’re right. Tribute is not exactly unique in that regard. “Roses” got started by idiots thinking it would keep them from getting arrested I believe. The rest of them are euphemisms to add dignity to whatever sex act is being done for money, BDSM or not, IMO.
I will admit that tribute annoys me a bit more than the others, I don’t really know why though lol.
because it's a power dynamic inferring that they are superior to you. It essentially says that, by taking your money, they are doing YOU a favor, and therefore they do not seem grateful for your business the way most providers are. Regardless of whether you think this through like I have, I think it's going to rub most successful men who can afford to play in this arena the wrong way, even if it's only subconsciously.
They don't "infer" anything. They imply it.
Naughty, naughty.
Well, should we be real anal here?
I'm not sure the use of the pronoun "They" was correct. The subject here was not the writer of the review but the terms used. "They" only seems to make sense if you're talking about the author or a set of terms. But "tribute" is a single term so "It" or "That" seems like the Conan approved pronoun.
AND in this situation, discussing terms/words, one might be able to use imply but perhaps connotate might be the more correct word. But I do agree, "infer" was not even in the running 
unless if was made more clear that CDL was addressing the other poster saying he was inferring the implication of superiority.
Connotate or connote? Asking for a friend.
Although "connote" is preferred. From the Online Etymology Dictionary:
"connotate (v.)
"to signify secondarily," 1590s, from Medieval Latin connotatus, past participle of connotare "signify in addition to the main meaning," a term in logic (see connotation). It is now obsolete, replaced by connote."
I needed that. I will consider myself chastened. Lol
I believe you are missing the point as to why guys book a BDSM session with a dominatrix. Of course it is inferring a power dynamic, that is what the sub is paying for. Obviously you are not a sub and this is not a service from a provider you are interested in, so continuing to think about and comment on it is a waste of your brain power and a waste of everyone's time. Move on.
When QB (or anyone) comes on the board and starts using "tribute" as if we care. I suppose one could say, "It's only marketing," but certain people like to pretend they're royalty wherever they go and their shit don't stink.
Then move on. If you don't like Bia then don't book her, same with me or any other provider. It IS marketing, and posting on here is FREE. Do you honestly think I post on this board just for funsies?
Well, people do keep referring to all of this as a hobby.
Wait wait wait are you saying you’re not having fun??!!? I’m aghast. I’m stupefied. I’m I’m I’m… hungry. I just realized I’m hungry. This is getting way off topic. Look here! Who’s the big idiot who had to go and mention tributes?! Huh?
Wait…. Ooooohh dear. I’ll just see myself out.
It gets cringeworthy when reviews become an erotic story. I'm mostly trying to figure out if a provider looks like their photos, delivers as promised, and to understand their limits when it comes to certain activities. A general play by play can be helpful but things get weird when people are clearly creating jo material.
As for a specific phrase I nominate "in the bag."
things get weird when people are clearly creating jo material.
I was guilty of the Penthouse effect when I started, I have tried to streamline since.
One of mine I regret the most is "She made love to my cock". Oh lord. I wish I could take that one back.
Treat her right
Vips read on
Run don't walk
In no particular order
She came for the ____ time.
It's like deja vu all over again.
11 years ago: http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/re-treat-her-right-boys-591859
.
And again.
2 months ago: http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/or-what-1019181
.
And others in between.
What are the most annoying and cringeworthy lines that you repeatedly see in reviews?
Here's my list to get it started, just to name a few:
- She told me to fuck her and who am I to say no?
- I gave her a fifth O
- RUN, don't walk to this lady
- She handed me a Magnum due to my size
- YMMV guys, I think she was into me because I've been told I'm attractive and have a nice dick
- She didn't even notice the donation!
And finally, at the end of so many thousands of reviews:
"TREAT HER RIGHT GENTS!"
These links to the past are proof that the future isn’t what it used to be. Or something like that I don’t know.
Yeap.
Not that I really use reviews here these days (that's me not really a comment on review quality/value here) I generally ignored the "story" in the reviews and looked for things about specifics and assessment of the looks/performane of the on a purely objective level. Most of the narative is either useless or pure entertainment IMO. SO why really care about how things are phrased unless it reduces the information that can be gleened.
Really?
You're a grown-ass man and you can't remember what happened while you were fucking a woman an hour or a day or a week ago?
Stop writing reviews until you check for early-onset Alzheimers.
-- Modified on 5/21/2024 5:51:02 AM
Honestly, none of these really bother me. Like, who cares? The only thing that bothers me is a useless or fake review. If it gets me what I need to know, then use all the cliche you want for all I care. Telling me to run not walk has no impact on me. Saying VIPs read on, no impact. Talking about your large dick or brilliant DATY skills, no impact. If I get what matters to me, the rest is just fodder.
Reminds me of the old Earl Scheib commercials.,., look him up
Earl Scheib and Felix Chevrolet. Anyone who grew up in LA in the 60s will never forget those two.
Earl Scheib STARTED in LA but he was big in NY, too!
His philosophy was, "Work hard, be on time, and don't worry about how much you make." It was a belief that underscored the way he ran his business.
...
No Upselling! No bait-and-switch! He did his own TV commercials:
"I'm Earl Scheib, and I'll paint any car, any color for $29.95. No ups, no extras," became an instantly recognizable phrase.
.
(Felix Chevrolet was LA. No Felix Chevrolet in NY.)
.
(NYC's Crazy Eddie's tag line -- "His prices are INSANE!!" -- could apply to TER from the low end ("No reviews. Is this too good to be true?") to the high end ("Stay away: GPS.").
Earl Scheib and Felix Chevrolet. Anyone who grew up in LA in the 60s will never forget those two.
http://www.felixchevroletstore.com/pages/about-us
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crazy_Eddie
I remember the Earl Scheib $19.95 paint job.
I got my old VW Bug painted for $29.95...back in the day
Then I went to Cal Worthington for a new car
-- Modified on 5/22/2024 8:45:11 PM
Cal Worthington? There is no Cal Worthington!!
UC System: Berkeley, San Diego, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, San Francisco, Irvine, Davis, Riverside, Santa Cruz, Merced.
Cal State System: San Jose, Chico, SDSU, San Luis Obispo, ...
.
There is no Cal Worthington!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cal_Worthington
Never mind.
.
.
December 13, 1975 Busting schoolchildren Bussing schoolchildren
December 20, 1975 Firing the handicapped Hiring the handicapped
January 24, 1976 Saving Soviet jewelry Saving Soviet Jewry
January 31, 1976 Eagle Rights Amendment Equal Rights Amendment
February 14, 1976 Canker research Cancer research
February 28, 1976 Deaf penalty Death penalty
March 13, 1976 Conserving natural racehorses Conserving natural resources
April 17, 1976 Presidential erections Presidential elections
May 8, 1976 Violins on television Violence on television
May 29, 1976 Flop story Top story
September 18, 1976 Crustacean hijackers Croatian hijackers
December 11, 1976 Unisex donations UNICEF donations
January 15, 1977 Making Puerto Rico a steak Making Puerto Rico a state
[... etc. ...]
The popular joke is that he'd easily beat the rap with an insanity defense.
television hucksters, Madman Muntz.
They said of Muntz TVs that he'd take a good design and start removing parts until it stopped working in order to get the cheapest TV.
His commercials were really cheesy.
"She slipped it in without a condom, but I wasn't worried because I was the first appointment of the day."
To paraphrase the movie; don't do it young man, you have your whole life in front of you.
or better yet, go ahead and do it... I love seeing Darwinism at work 😁
from guys who think being the first customer of the day is any different than coming later in the day. Many providers have real life boyfriends, who have sex with them in the mornings before they start work without a condom BEFPORE she sees her first customer. Having been an outside real life boyfriend to several providers over the years, it's always amusing when guys like this are advising others that it's completely safe if you are the girl's first appointment of the day. From a boyfriend's POV, I would never have a provider as a real-life girlfriend who has BBFS on her menu.
This is quite laughable because when I was married there were times that we would have sex before bedtime and the spunk goo ball did not come out right away, but the next morning would slop out while I was sitting at my desk at work. Sometimes it comes out all right away, sometimes the gunk could take 12+ hours to make it way down to soak my panties at work as I am sipping my morning coffee.
I take a shower after every client and always use condoms so rather a moot point with me anyway, but this is kind of like the old wives tale that the more sex a woman has the more loose her vagina will be. The vagina is a muscle and gets tighter and stronger with use, just like any other muscle. Genetics and childbirth affect the elasticity of a vagina, not a dick.
In closing if you are ever having sex without a condom and there is a very good chance the provider in question had sex with someone else within 24 hours or so without a condom it is very, very likely you are going to get his dick vomit on your one eyed snake. The "first morning" client notion that you will be cleaner or safer is hogwash cabbage head nonsense. Use a condom. Every time.
I think it’s sweet, and it makes me smile whenever a reviewer writes that.
All ladies should be "treated right". It's a cliche at this point.
Agreed, the reason it's silly is because no client is sitting there thinking - oh yeah I'm gonna abuse this lady, clog her toilet and then take the donation with me before I leave"...BUT when we they read the "treat her right" in the review they must think "ahhhh ok yeah I should probably be a gentleman."
Honestly, nothing about that makes sense. I hate it. Sounds like some medieval scribe.
"The first cup was served"