Real love can transcend basic emotional and physical needs.  If the couple have a strong connection between them, a partner can excuse the loss of certain relationship components.  Sometimes these components can be absent temporarily, sometimes permenantly, due to illness or emotional distress at no direct fault of the other partner.  Now, because certain needs are so basic, one may decide to fulfill them through another source while still maintaining love for their partner.  Think of it this way...most people maintain close friendships outside of their romantic relationships.  Finding a friend for...say sex, under the circumstances described above...would just be adding a component to the typical definition of friendship

Wait - I do not need to imagine it, do I?

If there is no sexual or emotional connection any more, how is that love?

Either the guys are lying to you or themselves about what is going on with their SOs. Could be both - they are knowingly telling you a lie and telling themselves another lie to justify their behavior. Odds are they are not going to suddenly see the light and tell the truth here.

zi

This is how some of you have sounded the last couple of days on here complaining about other people post.

If I leave, she gets half the money, and you don't get anything.  

If I stay, you get the discretionary money.

First off leaving can be very, very expensive.

Also you are talking about one aspect of a relationship.  If everything is great except your physical needs are being met why throw everything away?  Maybe I am cynical but no relationship is perfect.

...allowing each other some sexual novelty outside of the marriage. Sorry, but it's practically impossible to maintain passion and desire over the long haul and there's usually more to a marriage than romance. Beyond family, for a lot of people it's about security and having someone to rely on through thick and thin.  

But, the ones who act all tortured about their marital situation need to buck up and get out.

I could retire to Paris and spend my days eating pastries and street crepes.  

It's difficult to go into something like marriage with a clear understand of what you and the other person wants. You will both make exceptions to things you otherwise wouldn't in order to keep each other happy and become lax on issues you'd generally get pissed about. Things fall into routine and no one wants to put in effort. There's no excitement, she gets older, he gets older. They aren't attracted to each other or the other one is always busy, etc etc . Life happens and you find yourself second guessing yourself and believing you could have had more or in your mind better. For example you could totally see yourself spending the rest of your life blowing loads into the hot young 20 something you throw cash at because she says and does all the right things your wife doesn't.  

People stay married because they made a promise, a vow, they don't want to be alone, this person knows them better than anyone regardless of intimacy, its a business relationship, they have children together and sometimes mostly because the other one is stubborn to give up and say they lost.  

Romantic love is the biggest racket

I don't believe you can love someone, and betray them.  

There is a guy or two on here that have their wives blessing and that I can understand, perhaps she likes that he's coming home to her after being fucked by another woman.  

But I feel that if the guy is doing it on the sly, then he is betraying her. If he needs this life, as I do, he should simply leave his SO, give her the respect she deserves and not cheat on her. The added benefit to her is that she is free to meet a man who may only want her.