Ok why is it ok for a provider to stand us up, or not to show up. But when we do it to them it is the worst thing ever. Or why is it ok for a provider to keep us waiting for them to get ready for us, but we have to be on time for them. They have all of the power over us it is cool or funny for them to keep us waiting or not to show up. The worst is when they keep you waiting and never tell you that they are not coming over. After you set up a date and time for them to stop by.

I have never stood anyone up or canceled day of the appt. I also try to be on time. It seems to just be something that happens a lot in this world. I am sorry that this has happened to you. I hope your day gets better.

Pants not paints. Lmao!

-- Modified on 7/8/2015 4:12:19 PM

Honey, it's all about the $ with the femskes?!  
The reason they get upset. They might count I the $ for a bill?
Easy, it might mess up their schedule. Or when a client cancels she's out of$.  
Specially if their working out of a hotel room?  They need to book atleast 2 dates. Just to cut even?

I agree with VL on this point, it's not OK for anyone to be late. Being late is a big "Fuck You!" From the person who is keeping the other person waiting. Few things say, "My time is more important than yours. " I've said this before, "It is just a vicious circle that hurts all of us" ... who play in this sandbox.  Providers do it because clients do it and clients do it because providers do it. It's just dumb.  One solution is NOT waiting. Pick a time in your mind, say 30 minutes, and hold firm. Lateness would stop when people realize that other's are not going to put up with their BS. It's not OK. It's Rude! A little mutual respect would go a long way in making P4P good for all of us.

-- Modified on 7/9/2015 6:12:19 AM

I and my colleagues have a wonderful medical practice and care only for older people. It is impossible to know what problems you will find with each patient.  We schedule no more than 2 patients an hour (don't ask how we can afford to do this.  This is part of 20 practices around the country that are trying to show that it is cheaper to care for chronically ill patients this way than in the usual way. We have done very well with this over the last decade or so.) Often, a 1/2 hour visit will expand into 1 or even 2 hours and people are kept waiting.  The schedulers try to warn later patients but often there is a long wait.  People understand that in return if they need an extended visit, they will get it.  
This is not an FU, it is the opposite. It says to all our patients we will do whatever is needed for each one of them.
I am not sure how this might apply to providers of other services.

It's really two different things.

I'm sure it's a similar percentage of jerks on both sides who could care less either way about other people.

I have a 15 minute window if I have not heard from the appointment, and that is not only a john, but anyone who I have set an appointment with. After that window has passed I get the clear message that I have been disrespected and leave. I have also approached some chronically late people and informed them that is the process and not to be surprised that I have left.  

Exactly, for the lady she is representing her business.

It isn't cool, it isn't funny, and (let's be honest) it isn't just providers. It's disrespectful and unprofessional when ANYONE stands you up.  I don't know why you'd think otherwise.  Of course, last minute schedule changes happen to everyone, but in most circumstances it isn't too hard to let someone know ahead of time that you aren't going to be able to make it, or that you may need to reschedule.  It's disappointing and frustrating, but it's also just a part of life.  

Because of all the time I have been on time and waited for doctors and dentists for up to 45 to 60 minutes to see the doctor when I went to a new dentist I joked with him that I was going to charge him my hourly consulting fee for anything over 15 minutes waiting. He  laughed. I continued to go to him for many years and he and his wife and my  wife and I became good friends.  
Whenever  my wait time was approaching 15 minutes he would tell his staff "Hey we have to get him in here before he starts charging us!) In the many years I went to him he was never late.

As for being late, I agree it's a pain in the ass, but men have been waiting for women since the stone ages I am sure. I honestly just don't see that ever changing, even in P4P. Whining about women always being late is like complaining that the sun always sets in the west, it's kind of silly, and has no effect on the sun.

I'm sorry to hear that. That does sound very very unprofessional. A provider and client alike should both understand the value of time. In my experience, I treat others like how I would like to be treated. It is very wrong to act like one person's time is more valuable than the next. I suggest rethinking what provider you see. You ARE After all a Client.

It is however, a business YOU CHOOSE to play in. Get more selective about who you see and backchannel to find out if she is late or careless about your schedule. It's not exactly news that many provides have no clue how to run a business much less how to operate with some integrity, but many do know. Also, many guys put up with a lot of shit for a cheap rate, so if that's the case, you can't really bitch about it. You get what you pay for.  

Because who knows what can happen during their days... medical emergencies, something unexpected pops up in an exam etc. I don't like it when a doctor runs late, but I understand it and make allowance for it. A few times when a doctor was running really late and I had to be someplace else soon, I rescheduled.

Seems like that is one of the more popular excuses.

I had a doctor once who wanted me to sign a form that said if I was more than 10 minutes late for my appointment he could cancel it and I had to pay some amount....I think  it was around $40. I said, "OK, if you'll add that if I have to sit in the waiting room longer than 10 minutes past my appointment time, you'll give me $40". He didn't like that and I never signed. That was end of that crap. My time is as valuable as is.

Um, providers can't 'control' a client who runs late before your appt. hon, and then she has to coax him into wrapping things up for another half hour after his time was up... the very same things you listed as happening to a Dr. can happen to a provider, but just not in the same context. Trust me, I know a lot of people are just outright full of shit so I am not defending being late or a NCNS in the least... it amazes me how many times I have done doubles and she was over an hour late. How do these people get to their real jobs on time or anything for that matter? My guess is the ones who are constantly late or MIA have never had to be resposible for shit in the real world, or this would not be so hard. Many become providers to be lazy and careless... sad, but true.

While the "because you're a nobody" joke wasn't very nice, it's not without merit, unfortunately.

If a client is late, why does that make you late?  That comes out of the client's time... doesn't it?  If I show up 15 minutes late for example (which I've never done), I expect my time will be cut that amount, unless the provider is willing to extend... and she shouldn't do that if it will make her late for other clients.  

A provider being late puts a hobbyist in harm's way.  Let's say he arrived at the incall hotel.  And it's a basic one, without a lobby or a bar to wait in.  So what's he left to do?  Sitting in the car in the parking lot can be deadly, because LE looks for that behavior.  And if there no Starbucks or a similar place nearby to retreat to, or it's not a downtown area where you can go outside and walk around, where can the hobbyist wait?  Nowhere, really.  At least not without loitering somewhere, which is a dangerous behavior in the hobby.  I once found myself in that situation.  Not fun!

I am quite sure hookers have done the right thing and asked a john to leave only to receive a  review that penalizes the hooker for "rushing" the john when in reality, he is taking advantage of her time.

And feel free to correct me, but I can't imagine there's a hotel/motel with absolutely nothing nearby (fill up on gas, grab some fries at McDonalds, etc.?)

Driving around the block can be risky too.  In rich suburbs or industrial areas without much activity, LE can see the same car going in circles (a.k.a. cruising) and pull them over.  Then what?  'Nuff said.  

... for a john who does that is try to make sure he never again feels "rushed" by a provider... by putting him on her DNS list and reporting him to other providers through back channels.  

When a provider needs me to wait a few minutes. I simply park my car, grab my I Pad and either log onto TER or return a few emails to kill the time until she's ready. I have been waiting for women all my life, no big deal to me.

It's just too easy sometimes  

And even if one guy avoids her because of it, there is lost revenue because he was a douche bag.

I agree with you and I do wish more people in this world would live by that. This would be a better world.

Johns who use reviews for research don't focus on outliers like that. If there's lots of solid reviews and one guy says she rushed him... no big deal.  

Unless it's a dive of a motel and/or LE has been alerted that there is a problem at a hotel they have better things to do than hang out at hotels guessing about johns and providers.  It is virtually unprovable without actually being in the room, at least in any jurisdiction I'm familiar with.  Two people having a date where one of them is a resident of a hotel is not a crime.   Now if 8 guys have lingered in a lobby over the course of a day and wandered up to the same room the hotel can have suspicions for sure, but that's all they would be are suspicions and without some real surveillance the most a hotel can do is have someone leave the premises.  

If you can't figure it out, sorry... I really don't have all day to explain it. Let's just say providers have a harder time in person being direct as you say, and often that results in a guy flat out lying about them in a review or backchannel to hurt them. Are you in control of your life? So, you can't get hit by a fkin bus? Nuff said.  

There's no reason a lady can't act professional and still charge a cheap rate. This goes for any  other profession as well.

Well, I do look out for buses so they don't run over me. ~eom~

-- Modified on 7/9/2015 5:36:07 PM

is a damn liar. Anyone who expects others will never be late, is a damn fool.  

I only book appointments close to home, and make sure I have an adequate amount of time to make it to my destination. I hate felling rushed even before the appointment begins, I save rushing around for real life.

I'll answer both the OP, and Master Z. First the OP. It's not okay for anyone to cut out, or be late, guy nor girl. That's why I've never flaked a session in my life. I have that same expectation of the lady of my choosing. Obviously, even though I have a perfect record, that perfection has not been reciprocated. I've had a few no shows over the years, twice this year. That's not okay. In such cases those ladies are taken off my list forever. The exception might be an apologetic communication with the offer of some type of discount on a subsequent session.  

It's never Ok for anyone to stand anyone up. PERIOD!

I agree with you.

Shit does happen, but in this modern world of cell phones, not letting the other party know what is happening is inexcusable IMO.