One of the easiest ways for providers to take advantage of mongers is to require an upfront deposit to book a date. The monger pays a deposit and books a date, the provider confirms the date. After the date is set the booker or the provider tells the monger the provider will not be available for the date for whatever reason "her tour was cancelled" "family emergency" or any other excuse. When the monger tries to rebook an alternate date, the booker says nothing is available and the provider never makes good on a rebooking, or, at the very least, the client has to continually chase the provider in trying to rebook a date.  

Not cool.  

I'm not saying all or even most providers do this, most are honest, but I have personally witnessed it enough times and seen enough posts on these boards to know it's a real and growing problem.    

I understand providers want to insure guys will show up for appointments, but its becoming clear to me requiring a deposit is an area rife with problems. If a monger is swindled out of the deposit, no review can be written since no session took place.  

I can understand if a guy has flaked on a girl once and then tries to rebook her, she has every right to require a deposit from him since he's proven undependable, but to require it from a client who has established references to me isn't kosher.  

My question to providers is: how often do new clients or even established clients bail on a date, on an average?    

For myself I won't pay any deposit. I feel my track record with providers is such that if a new lady I'd like to see doesn't trust my long established history of dependability with other long-term well-respected providers on P411 [my easily checked references] then I will simply find one who does. But its sad because there are some very hot looking ladies particularly in the higher price ranges I would love to experience, but if they can't budge on their deposit requirement, we can't do business.  

If anyone asks me, my advice is to just say NO to deposits, it's asking for trouble and you will have little recourse for recovery of your deposit.  

To me, it is a matter of risk assessment and I am quite comfortable with that risk. But I do have a few rules. I don't send deposits to new women, or women with unverifiable/bad histories of handling them. I don't give over 25% and I only send untraceable gift cards via an encrypted email service. No, this doesn't guarantee me I will not get ripped off but it certainly lowers the risk of such considerably.  
Your point that "there are some very hot looking ladies particularly in the higher price ranges I would love to experience, but if they can't budge on their deposit requirement, we can't do business" is understandable, but I choose not to deprive myself of those ladies for the potential loss of just a few hundred bucks. I view this the same way I do gambling; I don't gamble what I cant afford to lose and so far, thankfully, I haven't been burned yet.

I created mi familia in 2010 as the head of my household I require a deposit to book because I can not risk wasting my time. Why does your track record entitle you & mine does not? Privilege. To reserve my time I need to make arrangements childcare, dog boarding, & book an incall that requires revenue. No out of pocket expenses this is a business. Be professional.

If anyone does not respect me as a single Mom who with an exception track record here on TER who requires a deposit & has never robbed, scammed, or done anything, but provide an extraordinary service…kindly stop posting this nonsense. You’re choosing the wrong providers. Due diligence it goes both ways this is why I screen for chemistry. I’m too old to fake anything. Compatibility is necessary to ensure we both enjoy our time together. I’m not sharing my positive energy with just anyone. Sharing your self with negative people with bad energy has a terrible effect on anyone.  

Make it a great day my TER friends. I am glad the people who pick me have the same qualities I have integrity, honesty, respect & generosity. We are all very different. I love the individuals I have had the pleasure of sharing my time with that I met via this community. Smile for me! I’m off to aqua fit it comes with a free tan. Lol!

And you have every right to run your business as you see fit. It seems to work for you. That said, in my view you are the exception that proves the rule. Just because you are, I assume, ethical and reliable proves ZERO about other women who use deposits as a rip-off. Which is why many of us will NEVER do business with them.
Chacun a son goût.

I can vouch for Bia's integrity.  

She had scheduled a rare tour to my area. I paid her deposit and was all set. A few weeks later she unfortunately had to cancel her trip. My deposit was refunded 5 minutes after she advised me of the cancellation.

I do not do deposits nor do I do cancelation fees.  
NCNS=I do not rebook (In my 11 years as a provider this has happened maybe 10 times)
Cancelations/reschedules I will give you the 3 strikes your out rule. I understand life happens, but I also need you to be respectful of my time and business.  
If the provider has to cancel for any reason I think 100% should be returned within 24/48 hours to the client.  Non refundable deposits I think are BS, especially if the cancelation is because of the provider. If the client has to cancel I think it would really be up to the provider as to if they will return part or all of the deposit or reschedule the appointment.  
I seldom have issues with established clients. Now that I have been around the block a few times and have a more established business model if a possible client is being flakey I cut them loose and move on.  
I find that running a tight ship, being honest, being respectful, and providing a consistent service is a better business model than chasing down and trying to get deposits or cancelation fees.  
Of course this is just how I run my business. We are independent and have the ability to run our business as we see fit. If a provider does request a deposit I would make sure to read the policy and the fine print and make sure you understand if it is refundable or not. And no, because sex work is still illegal, you do not have any legal recourse to get your deposit back.

I have paid 2 deposits to 2 providers since I began to hobby. One date actually took place, but that provider has since seemed to flake on others.
Second time a provider with a good but not too long record and reviews. Date was set, and then ghosted. No replies to emails or texts. Did get a snarky reply on IG then was blocked. have not seen any reviews of her since a year ago.
Third time was no issues, and with this particular provider I would do so again.
Other than this one provider, I have decided if a deposit is required I am not interested. It's not worth it to me to take that risk.

-- Modified on 7/11/2023 10:27:20 PM

to require deposits from repeating customers, or is the deposit only required from someone you haven't met yet?  

TER does allow reviews of cases where someone was scammed out of a deposit.  Those are “rip-off” reviews, with a Performance score of 1.  There’s even a separate search category for them.  

Also, I agree completely with “To each their own. No one is forcing you to book a provider and supply a deposit.”  There’s many providers who don’t require a deposit.

I don't pay deposits most of the time because they are not required by the ladies I see.  However, I have had to pay a few deposits and haven't had any issues or problems or even concern for being scammed.  Of course this doesn't mean I realize the potential for being scammed exists and is something to take into consideration.   For whatever reason, the particular ladies I've met who required deposits didn't give me any cause for concern or anything.

So, this is the one instance in my life where I've been lucky!  

A couple of the girls I've seen actually tell you what they use the deposit for when they ask for it, and it makes sense why they ask for it when I stopped to think about it. For incall they get a hotel. They have to prepay for this so if there is a cancellation then they are out the money. For outcall they grab an Uber. If a cancellation then they are out roundtrip Uber fare. They said it also helps weed out guys who aren't as committed to keeping appointments and shows generosity of the client, which makes them feel a lot more at ease about seeing a complete stranger for the first time.

Yes Jezebel, deposits are required in many of the things you mentioned. However, they are all LEGAL services where, if you do not get the service you are paying for, you can dispute the charges with your cc company or in other ways.  Not possible in this line of service. Most client disputes here are met with nasty replies or ghosting, and a few have led to terrible consequences.  A client does not have to worry about  hotel dispute turning into being outed on Twitter for the entire world to see.

Of course there are many reasonable and fair ladies who keep appointments and will refund deposits when appropriate, and they make the hobby a better place.  I just choose to only see ladies who do not require one.

This is NOT "most service industries," I think you'd agree. LOL. If it were, it'd be legalized and regulated, and then I could see your point. In that case, I would treated in return like most service industries treat me: I get a refund for undelivered service or damaged goods. That almost never happens in this industry. With most girls, the minute you give them your money you have separated forever from that money.
 
So, no, I don't think the premise of your argument holds.

You and many others are clearly exceptional in the way you conduct yourselves. That's not something I would know just by looking at a website or an ad. Unfortunately, "exceptional" is the right word in this context. I think it's fair to say that most of the industry providers are unscrupulous actors when confronted. Even the ones we love, don't even ask them for a refund, partial or otherwise, on a bad day when the service sucked or wasn't delivered.
 
More power to you. After a few no-shows, if I did what you do then *I'd* be asking for deposits. I don't begrudge you that or take issue with it. That is, literally, your business.

You clearly spell out your requirements  
Clients decide if they will comply or not and most will not change.
The deposit scam  keeps coming up with 99 % being providers advertising on other boards.
With reviews and a long track record if one were to give a deposit there would be little or no risk. If lost not the end of the world.
As for personal information it’s another situation as too many things can happen out of your control.  
That all being said more than one provider knows who I am and where I live but is over a long period of time getting to know each other .
Your health and safety is important as is mine.

I rarely heard that a lady will refund a deposit if the appointment was cancelled by the lady. Most time what I heard is that the lady still keep the deposit and will reschedule for a future appointment which may or may not happen. Once the money has been sent, most likely it will be gone forever and you should never expect a refund.  

I have sent deposits only two times when I first got into this business many years ago and I had no reference.  One time is the first lady that I saw and it went well without problem, that was a good experience.  The other time was a bad experience, the lady cancelled my appointmwnt due to flat tire and want to reschedule. There were also some other unusual things that didn't sound right, so I cut my loss and moved on and never contacted that lady again.  

Later on all the ladies that I met don't require deposit. I never felt upset when a lady requires deposit. It's her right and she should choose whatever way she felt comfortable to do her own business. If she requires deposit，I just lost interest to meet them and I will move on to find ladies who are willing to meet me without deposits.  I found that  for every lady that requires deposit, there are probably 10 more other ladies who do not require deposit, so why bother and feel bad for lady who wants deposit. I have no feeling for lady who wants deposit and who wants to charge whatever price, I just move on and find other ladies.

It is certainly a solution. It's a very general solution, and sometimes you might be throwing the baby out with the water but it is a very effective solution.  

 
If you don't want to be hustled out of a deposit, not sending a deposit is a bulletproof way to ensure you won't be needimg to waste time on contacting the person, writing her a ripoff review and coping with loss of money.  

 

It's kinda like if you don't want to get an std, the most effective solution is to stay celibate. Crude and may not work for many, but it works.

Excellent responses from everyone, thank you! I think all have made good points. From these comments I've adjusted my thinking a little. I think if a lady would state in no uncertain terms what she is using the deposit for and what the terms are for the refund, and if she had a good history of current reviews, I'd consider a small deposit if I really wanted to see her. I was not aware a rip-off report could be filed; I thought you could only write a review if an actual meeting took place.  

For high profile and highly reputable providers such as the regulars who post on the discussion forum, I would also make an exception; all others, no.  

It's just too easy for a provider to just not show up or make an excuse or any other number of things to somehow justify why the meeting did not take place and the OP ends up out the money.  

So girls, if you require a deposit, place the exact terms of the refund on your site without any ambiguity. [And I would also add, a full menu list using abbreviations for what is included for x number of roses... but this is the subject of another thread.]  

Again thank you all for your entries.  

Happy hobbying!  

AdonisMan

In most cases, clients who get ripped off didn’t do proper due diligence and thought with their little head over their big head.

I’ve paid at least a hundred deposits over the past few years and I have yet to be burned. I’ve also had two instances where the provider had to cancel and in each case, they returned my deposit electronically.

Maybe I’ll get burned at some point, who knows, but for now I will continue paying deposits to hot, beautiful, well established providers and keep enjoying myself.

And I would also add, a full menu list using abbreviations for what is included for x number of roses...

This is bad advice & a huge red flag 🚩 please providers, do not listen to everyone who posts here it could get you arrested. Know the laws in every area you travel too because these guys are not educated on what’s legal. I know first hand from experience in San Diego not to listen to mongers, hobbyists & males who think they know what’s in our best interest.  I knew Dale personally & never posted the menu for x amount of roses. Link below.

I just today sent a deposit back to a client because we could not find a good time to reschedule his appointment. I have also held deposits up to 3 months to reschedule out of town friends at their request. Same as everything I suppose - depends on the gal and the guy. Some of us have more integrity than others …. Same with every career field or service provider.  

I'm sorry, but what is illegal about a meet and greet?

She pointed out that the incompetent host of the M&G had posted the address publicly. That means the security of the M&G had been compromised. This is an egregious screw-up. It's right up there with the infamous NYC M&G to which the host invited a journalist without telling anyone. He then compounded the screw-up by inadvertently sending the list of attendees to said journalist. Needless to say he never hosted an M&G again. This is almost as bad. The fact that Fester doesn't get it simply illustrates (again) why so many here consider him to be a complete idiot.

I also knew Dale. I used that website for years and attended many of the M&Gs when they were in North County. It was a fun bunch of folks.