I met a guy this weekend that was in his mid 50's, fat, out of shape that told me that his wife of 30 plus years knows he hobbys and has no problem with it. He said that she does not want to have sex with him and loves him and loves being married.  Can anyone understand that?  I just don't get it.   Why be married to someone that you are not attracted to or sleep in different beds with?  Maybe financial security?  Scared to be alone?

Is not a reason to divorce and she has no problem with him getting is sexual relief elsewhere. It maybe too financially draining to divorce, or they are very well suited in all other aspects. At least if she is not attracted to him she is not expecting him to tie a knot in his dick and go without.

...it's really up to the two people in it to define it. And that can change over time.

In a 30+ year marriage, I can only assume that there's a lot more involved than sex. Financial security, social status, kids, partnership, companionship....I think those all are completely legitimate reasons to stay in the marriage. If they're both happy with the way things are, then there is no problem.

Marriage is a promise and a lifelong commitment.

Sex is but one factor of many.

Maybe she really loves him but isn't attracted to him after so many years.  Throw away years over that?

Hopefully she's getting hers elsewhere too since he doesn't do it for her anymore or maybe she's just one of those who can do without.

I'm 50, out of shape, and my wife of almost 24 years has given me permission to hobby. We still have sex with each other 3-4 times a week. We have sex with other people about once every week or two, usually together.

She has permission to fuck anybody she wants, as do I.

Marriage, love and sex can be different things..

you can love someone and enjoy them and NOT want sex..
Don't be too quick to judge..

Some folks just don't like sex and some folks.
understand that sex is just that. SEX and what feels good to you may not feel good to them
and you can love someone enought to understand that sex can be just physical..

For all you know .. they have a great relationship in every other araa but sex
and they may have thier own form of intimacy..........

Marriage also works like a business. It works if you have two partners who know thier jobs and thier place and it is alway a work in progress. compromise, finances etc..

Marriage is not all about fun and games. Marriage is a partnership and all about compromise and give and take...............

happens a lot more than you think..most have different bedrooms..no sex at all..a lot stay together for their kid's sake..most just for the companionship..women hate to be alone..

that's where all the Fat Fucks come from, that the ladies have to snuggle up with.... thanks Marge, i'm sure the ladies appreciate that...

please don't lump us into one group..

I enjoy my alone time..

Thank you..

As much as I love being alone, I very much loved and valued being Mrs, X
but,, I also enjoy doing ME things now that my nest is empty..
Just yesterday I said to my GF. I can't wait to get home, put on dry clothes and lay accross my
bed Naked and Alone..................................

On That note.. What I don't miss is everytime I get naked having a man/my husband pawing at me for sex etc.. cant I just be naked.................. and enjoy...........................

the wife has a lover that she prefers to her husband.  

I've heard from gentlemen, in and out of the hobby, that divorce is not financially feasible.  Children, both young and grown, are another reason for staying in a sexless marriage.

He laid some dough on her, that's for sure!

I wonder where all the rude, insensitive dickheads come from?

Posted By: lungman

that's where all the Fat Fucks come from, that the ladies have to snuggle up with.... thanks Marge, i'm sure the ladies appreciate that...

I can totally respect this woman for compromising and allowing her husband to play outside of their marriage. We all know love and sex are two different things, so why not? Might be unconventional, but if it works and BOTH are happy with and love each other still, more power to them.

Swinging could be another option it is something they can still share as a couple. She might not want to have sex with him, but there is always a stud out there that  any woman would cream in her panties for! And who knows? It might put a spark back in their non existent sex life! LOL

-- Modified on 7/16/2012 4:37:23 PM

This is a rehash of a post that has seen this board over and over again.  Besides, who the fuck cares or knows why ANYONE stays together - there's an infinite number of reasons, factors, and circumstances that goes into each couples decision to do anything.

STFU until you have something real to say.

come on fax, lighten up.
if your one of the out of shape fat fucks, this was not directed at you personally. ( it was the other guy )

Dude!  You have some anger issues

Warm my way back in to what?  WTF?  You guys are insecure losers!!!

Just what we need, another "Douchebag" to join the party.
Oh well, party on.

how prude and conservative, narrow minded this board can be. This is supposed to be a fuck board for people who embrace sex and explore it, embrace it, try at least to understand it aside from societal and religious constrictions yet some posts and comments are so narrow minded that I wonder how people end up here. People getting surprised that wife allows sex out of marriage (I wish mine did), people thinking that if one has an SO why do you hobby (as if sex was like golf, putting a ball in a hole), people getting surprised that some like prostate massages, or golden showers, etc etc. I mean, really?
I adore my wife but sex has become a chore, it's OK but not great, but I love her, she is witty, charming,  hot as shit and we have a ton of fun together; we are both much better people and happier together than apart; we support each other, we are at the bottom of each other's career successes and I cannot imagine my life without her. On the other hand I cannot imagine life without the thrill of sex (hence the calculated but still unpredictable risk), is this so hard to understand? if she lets him, good for both of them. They are decades ahead of the rest of society.

the secret to a good marriage is that both members have great sex and the other person doesn't know about it; well IMO even better, if each partner truly supports it