Reflecting and thinking about the early days I remember my worst session (my only less than stellar session) she was a traveling lady from Boston who faked putting my penis inside her vagina. Her signature move was to Russian guys with her huge tits and get them to cum that way. Needless to say she no longer provides that was my worst session. What was yours?
As always no namesot drunk, passed out and snored before we got nekkid....
Sounds like someone I dated IRL
got drunk, passed out and snored before we got nekkid.....
That's a 4 on the TER performance scale: "she just laid there". Hey, it's true 
.
I got a very short and lousy massage with a sucky HJ and to add insult to injury, she came back while I was dressing and said: You know, most guys leave a tip, so I hope you do.
I said maybe next time, and hauled ass
my worst with a verifiable, reviewed provider is in my reviews. It's a rather complete review of an event where nothing happened. Sorta a noBlow by noBlow description. My only scalding review.
Why in the world would you give her a 5?!
If you read the post, what would you rate her
I had a great session with one of my favorite ladies but it was going to be the last because she was retiring and I'd never enjoy her again.
How did she fake your dick in her VJ?
Its been 30 years. Found her in the back of the personals you buy at the porn store, which was pretty much what you had to do back then.
2nd floor of a row house in South Philly, pimp let me in. 1st mistake.
Blond chick in the bedroom, looked OK. Started to disrobe, pimp bangs on the door, she lets him in, "forgot" something in the closet. Comes and goes. Should have gone myself. 2nd mistake.
She takes her panties off, some TP hanging from her cooch. Not going down on her, so overlooked that. At least she tried to wipe herself. Should have left then. 3rd mistake.
BJ upsell. Declined. Maybe I'm getting wiser.
We get in mish, done in 5. Bang on the door "Done in there?" Time to leave, this ordeal going to be over.
I leave as fast as I can. Back on the sidewalk, guess who follows me down? I start walking fast down the street, he follows. "How much did you give her?" as he's tugging on my sleeve. The ad say 100 and that's all I parted with. For once, my brain is functioning again. I said 200. He whips around and leaves, and I run for my car.
Nothing has ever come close to this experience.
As always no names
let's hope he didn't beat her up over the missing $ 100....
I leave as fast as I can. Back on the sidewalk, guess who follows me down? I start walking fast down the street, he follows. "How much did you give her?" as he's tugging on my sleeve. The ad say 100 and that's all I parted with. For once, my brain is functioning again. I said 200. He whips around and leaves, and I run for my car.
Nothing has ever come close to this experience.
I was perusing online ads looking for something a little edgier than my normal MILF inclinations. I found an ad for this 19 year old, cute little spinner, great butt, smoking body with small, very perky breasts, unnaturally red hair, lots of tats and piercings. She had a few so-so, YMMV type reviews (not TER), but I thought her look was really interesting so I decided to take a shot.
Walked into her room and she immediately asked for the donation. I tried to set it down discretely on a table but she took it from my hand and started counting. The room is a complete mess, it's extremely smoky, she's got a little dog with her and overall the funk in the air was pretty bad. She's got a poster board up with a hand-made calender on which she's marking off the days and the last day says "my new boobs".
As for the session, DATY is an extra $100 (I was there for $150 for 30 min), she didn't allow any touching of the kitty, no kissing and she made it really difficult to even suck her nipples. Quite frankly she would have had to leave the room to be any less engaged than she was. After I popped she jumped out of bed and went to let the dog out of the bathroom and clean up the dump it had taken on the floor in there. She then came back and said "you can go flush that". I headed into the bathroom and along the way stepped in two really wet, really cold spots on the carpet that had to be further gifts from the dog. And even though she'd cleaned up, the smell in the bathroom was just horrible.
The closest thing to anything erotic the entire time was when the dog ran over and licked my toes just before I put my socks back on.
"my new boobs" lol
that was so funny
Walked into her room and she immediately asked for the donation. I tried to set it down discretely on a table but she took it from my hand and started counting. The room is a complete mess, it's extremely smoky, she's got a little dog with her and overall the funk in the air was pretty bad. She's got a poster board up with a hand-made calender on which she's marking off the days and the last day says "my new boobs".
As for the session, DATY is an extra $100 (I was there for $150 for 30 min), she didn't allow any touching of the kitty, no kissing and she made it really difficult to even suck her nipples. Quite frankly she would have had to leave the room to be any less engaged than she was. After I popped she jumped out of bed and went to let the dog out of the bathroom and clean up the dump it had taken on the floor in there. She then came back and said "you can go flush that". I headed into the bathroom and along the way stepped in two really wet, really cold spots on the carpet that had to be further gifts from the dog. And even though she'd cleaned up, the smell in the bathroom was just horrible.
The closest thing to anything erotic the entire time was when the dog ran over and licked my toes just before I put my socks back on.
Bad sessions are something we all have to go through. They're part of the landscape of the hobbyist. The provider too. Nevertheless, with each bad session, and there've been a few, a new rule is added to prevent such a situation. Or at least decrease the odds of it happening again. Those new rules lead me to some of the most remarkable women. So even though they were bad, in a way, I have to thank those ladies, and their awfulness.
Mine have more to do with mood killings rather than lackluster performance, although I have experienced both. Back in the day there was this lady I had my eye on. She had an exotic name, and an exotic look. She also had great reviews, so I was really excited. The day of the session, she started stringing me along. 'Can you give me an extra 15?' She did that four times. When I finally arrived, and we got naked, she had one of the most beautiful pussies I'd ever seen, so I forgot about being strung along. But whoa!! Yep, she was the saran wrap lady I've written about in the past. So that gorgeous pussy went for nought. That was mood killer one, but there was still a chance to salvage things. Then she started talking about what a great lover her boyfriend was. How he could go all night long. Whatever mood was left was killed off for good, and it lead to the creation of rule #5.
We all know and universally love GFE. Some of us get a kick out of PSE. That provider was an FWE: frigid wife experience.
Scheduled via the website, got screened, showed up. The usual drill. That provider clearly didn't like how I looked and/or how old I was at the time (mid 20's), and did a piss-poor job at hiding it. She didn't verbalize anything, but her actions and body language gave it all away. I was beginning to get uncomfortable with the way she was acting. But since I paid for my time, I plowed through the discomfort, and went through with it anyway. At the end, when I left her hotel room, I thought to myself: "Will not repeat!" While I've had "just OK" sessions, that one was flat-out BAD.
A few of her reviews describe the same experience I had. She hasn't been listed with the agency for years. I wonder why!
-- Modified on 12/24/2015 12:21:54 AM
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