That to quote you "I'm quite prepared to continue to see her for as long as she wants to see me" .  What is wrong with that?

sounds like something from Match. com

What to do with an under the radar ATF who is terrified I might lose interest and stop seeing her, so  she's building up a defensive wall to deal with that eventuality! The fact of the matter is this, for as  long  as she continues to perform to my satisfaction, I'm quite prepared to continue to see her for as long as she wants to see me. Or might it be she has developed guilty feelings because she has a significant other in her "real" life. She has mentioned to me a few times, she wishes she had met me before she met her current SO. I've not told her, but I have no desire to date an "active" provider, never have and never will. 

My issue is this, I just don't want to be made to feel like I'm paying for sex, you all know what I mean. In my opinion this is what differentiates Escorts from Street walkers and is why I chose to pay much more $$$ to see an Escort rather than a Street Walker.

Two options, do I talk to her about how I feel, or just disappear into the sunset never to be seen again.

To tell you to run, run away fast and don't look back...
This girl needs to get a grip on reality.. She has a BF and I assume you have a private life of your own. You did not go looking for a GF.. the reality is you ARE paying for sex... ( let's not suger coat it) It is a blessing that you enjoy each others company but at the end of the day that is all it is....Two friends who have private and seperate lives who are free to come and go as they wish!

If she is already afraid that you will " leave her" imagine what she will do when you tell her how you feel.. ( mark my words, It will get worse)  You can try it and it is the nice thing to do and the right thing to do. but...............

At least if you are honest with her, you can say you gave it your all............

Good Luck

How many times on this forum has the common sense answer to these seemingly difficult questions been "talk to her about it"? Let's not treat providers like they're not reasonable, intelligent people. If you're having trouble with your relationship with your favorite waiter at a restaurant do you simply let it fester? Do you come to a forum to ask what to do? I would think not. I would think that you would talk to the waiter about it. Just because your provider is providing you a more intimate service doesn't mean you can't discuss your issues.

Speak. Talk. Discuss.

so agree, she is either playing you, very well...or she needs to get a grip, sometimes there are women who will tell you anything they think you want to hear to stroke your ego...just where you will keep seeing them.

In my experiences, if we don't click then there won't be a repeat performance by me. Just as you say you don't want to feel like you are paying for it, some of us don't want to feel like we are doing it just for the sake of the almighty dollar either.

When you see someone for awhile communication should be easier, so I would say something and even tell her she is not the only one you see where maybe a light bulb will go off in her head and she'll start acting professionally.

So I am confused.. ?
She is just a friend and you two do not have a financial arrangement?
if that is the case. you went into this with a NSA attitude and she was ok with that until she had feelings for you since as you say she is not an active provide with xero reviews etc. this was a win for you?  I have bad news for you. Girls don't operate that way or most do not..

This line of crap about her BF only gives it to her twice a week is BS
He might not be in the mood, He might not be able to give it up, He might not like DATY. etc, etc, etc. but there is not a man on the planet who would be afraid to wake the sexual beast of a women.. unless he is dead!

I assume she does not know about your other lady friend.. ??

Let me state again there is not a provider out there ( at least not one with more then two brain cells that does not believe if you are seeing one you are not seeing or going to see another)

So,, My dear.. I think you have found yourself a GF and she forgot to give you the memo!

She has ZERO ads, I was introduced to her by a longtime friend of hers. She's an attractive woman with a sky high sex drive! I would rate her an 8.5 on a  TER scale for appearance. Her Boyfriend(selfish SOB) will NOT DATY on her and is afraid to awaken the sexual beast in her and limits sex to twice a month. She's grateful that I'm around to fill in the gaps in her sex life both orally and sexually. If I left, she would be limited to sex x2/month and zero oral satisfaction. It would upset her greatly if I left.

In trying to build up a defensive wall between us she does not seem to realize she's driving me away. I much prefer to see providers with whom I connect with  during the time we are together.

Side note: There is another provider I've seen every other week for 6 years and have always had a 10+ performance session.  

For me, money is definitely on par with everything else. It is the money that makes me wet. Take that away, and you take away a significant portion of why I get turned on in the first place.

There's probably a name for that- some sort of fetish...

1. What man on earth would limit sex to 2x per MONTH???

2. I have a client with a huge cock. I hate huge cocks, and he wields his like a deadly weapon, but I humor him by saying that my bf has a tiny cock and it gives me no satisfaction...that I NEED big fat cock to come. That I fantasize about big cock around the clock and that I positively would degenerate into a 12-inch-dildo-weilding wailing nympho if he didn't see me every few weeks. Lies, lies lies!! Don't ever believe a word we tell you

You sound like someone who would do it for free if givin the opportunity . But what makes you think
you are so deserving of free play no pay? WTF?? You are already thinking about drifting away and not seeing her anymore and  she has already picked up on that . You already see someone else who you rank higher on the TER scale so what are you here asking for approval by preparing to be  a creep when you move on? She's telling you what you want to hear. Personally I think she could find someone better who wants a one on one with someone instead of someone who is as confused as you are. Good that you aren't picking up street walkers but you are no different than any other
hobbyist on the boards. If you feel this way with her what about the one who you think is a 10? Or is being a 10 making it feel like you forgot it was a service so you dont feel like you are paying for sex?? Just leave the white envelope somewhere before you leave and stop making it more difficult than it already is. You married? Incase you were unaware you pay for that too. Take a look around.
Home , car, jewelry . Boy have you missed the boat.

No, we don't ALL know what you mean, differentiating between an escort and a streetwalker.  Regardless of whatever mental masturbation you use, it all boils down to the same thing: sexual acts for money.  I make no bones about, no apologies or harbor any remorse.  As a staunch civil libertarian who sees our government as WAY too involved in such things, consensual activities between adults should be unfettered, regardless of what the Penal Code, the Bible or my mother used to say!

do you mean i'm NOT the favorite of the last two ladies who saw me?  but that's what they told me!!!

money is the trigger that you think makes you wet..we pull that trigger..then you really get wet..the two in combination always make the natural juices flow ..

Now your fav can see her BF all she wants without hurting your feelings!

And guess what...she always was.

But now with the bucks you paid her she was able to buy him that motorcycle he was hocking her for.

There...feel better.  You saved another bro from a sexless relationship.  And he has wheels now too

Are you sure you want him to explain these differences?

Wouldn't you rather have London explain it....without the BS?

Otherwise I agree with 100% of your post.  Except my mother kept her trap shut...thank God!

The BF won't fuck her that much...and she'll be horny and sad.

Salon is being a humanitarian....give the fella a break.

And hookers don't lie...you should know that   If she is terrified...then God dammit...she is terrified!

i think you are my atf, knowsfrom!

Don't say that so loud.

Salon is the only fella for this gal's sex life...he told us so.

And now that he has cut her loose (see his prior post about his text to her), he is being a humanitarian for us fellas to experience that "once in a lifetime".

I am seriously considering a nomination for the Nobel (not noble mind you) Peace Prize for salon.

Have you never watched 60 minutes?

I feel there may be a bit of you projecting onto her your own feelings.

Do you like her and want your relationship to continue the way it is?  Then, just keep seeing her until you no longer feel you want to.

If you don't want to see her, then just give her the courtesy of a call or email saying some things have come up in your life and you won't be seeing her any more.

Stop wondering and guessing about things that you don't really know about, and probably won't ever know about.  Having a discussion with her will probably only hasten your breakup, and make it messy to boot.

This is not real life remember, this is a hobby called pay for play.

You just might be...we all have to have a favorite, right?

Oops, just realized I told you not to believe a word I say

Seriously, though, I do have several favorites and tell them so all the time. Maybe they think I am just giving them a great GFE, and for the most part, I am. Flirting, flattery, and mutual enjoyment are great for both of us, as long as they are limited to fun and games, and don't become manipulative or delusional.

Hey, isn't that why we are all here?  The illusion of being the best, biggest and the belief in that moment that there is something real, that as soon as it is over doesn't require anything going forward.  If you are good you have convinced me you can't live without me during the moment, and when the moment is over I feel like you don't really care whether I call you again or not.

You ARE paying for sex. Period, the end.
I just don't understand why some hobbyists make this more complex then it really is.

She is not terrified that you will lose interest in her. She may be worried that she may lose the income, but terrified?

By the way. I have been told the same shit that you have on many occasions. The difference between you and I is that you are falling for it, hooker line and sinker. I simply laugh it off.

Some fellas turn into the Grinch after the sun goes down

If not the Wolfman!

Maybe vampires....they seem to get lots of HOT babes

Why did you send her a text to end it? Was it because of all of the feedback that you got from this post?
Also, per your original post, what does the Internet have to do with you seeing her? (forgive me if I read the original post incorrectly).

I don't see how you could equate his scenario as humanitarian, but if you say so, lol.

She probably has other clients that she is spoon feeding the same way, and I don't think her problem will be a lack of sex .
I am sure she will have plenty of leftovers to feed the BF.

And I concur with your assessment but as you've seen, I see my role here is to pipe in on occasion when something strikes a nerve and get out!  But let's not discount mumsie's input: she always told me, "Treat all women like their ladies, even if they're not!"  If she had had any notion of how well that would work for me in the "Boobie Trap" and here, she'd have never said a word!

...had an ATF for a long time, reality is ATF = All Time Fraud or All Time Fhony.....NOTHING out of her mouth can ever be believed....lol!    You know the type the airbrushing makes it look like Kate Upton when in reality it is Maxine from Hallmark....lol!

To the OP......run....run....run.....lol!

I'm not worried about foreign matter in my food. If I was, I wouldn't eat out, because no place is safe whether the crew there likes you or not... this I know for a fact.

Paranoia will destroy ya.

some ladies like to convince themselves that they are not really doing it for the $$ and some gentlemen have to be convinced that it is not their $$ that gets them in the door.

Dangerous road to follow

Like any other segment of society this one is made up by INDIVIDUALS

Sure some lie.  Some tell truth.  To say that ALL  lie is the same as to say that all CPAs are boring

Lina

Hi,

The after- glow is over & I feel crotchety!! I should feel ecstatic since the Cubbies beat the Sox, but that's not the same as a hour w/a woman!!  I need to supplement my income so I can have more fun in this hobby!!  Is It July, yet?? :oP

Posted By: dddbabe

Like any other segment of society this one is made up by INDIVIDUALS

Sure some lie.  Some tell truth.  To say that ALL  lie is the same as to say that all CPAs are boring

Lina

I have a Fav lady, was once my ATF, saw her exclusively.  Performance suffered eventually...  I took a break of nearly a year, found some new Favs.  I went back, & now include her in a rough rotation.
But I have feelings for her & told her.  But I am married.  So unless some tragidy befalls wifee, nothing more will come of it...  I'm too deeply invested in the marriage situation to bail now.  (Or you could say you are not looking for a marriage.)   But Fav & I have a friendship relationship...  I bring a meal when I see her.  We play the GFE ILLUSION, I leave the donation on her dresser when I redress after.   It is not discussed.   It works for us.   Realistically, if some tragidy did befall W, a LTR would probably not work.  But admitting that would spoil the illusion.

There is also the chance that you are being played.  Keep your transaction Pay as you go & be you'll fine.  You are not her ATM.

What I get out of this is that the quality of the service has been declining. Somehow, and I do not know if she has told you so or you have just inferred it from the other stories she has told you, you have concluded that the reason the quality of the service is declining is because she is afraid you will leave her. Nice little trick bag she has built for you - she can do nothing for you, and she is the one who will be hurt when you say to hell with it. But maybe you prefer guilt to sexual pleasure?

Somehow you think the solution to this problem is to be completely honest with her about how you feel, which I think can be summarized as "You are a sweet hooker to me honey, and as long as you keep delivering the goods well, I plan to keep coming back." Exactly how will that reassure her and reverse the recent decline in performance? Or ease the guilt you think she is feeling, or????

I guess I see how it might make you feel better for a brief moment, but beyond that I do not see any logic to what you want to do. "Being honest" is over rated in so many ways, one being that most people who say they are being honest are using that as an excuse to say whatever the hell they want, usually something nasty. Try being honest with yourself, first, then if that works, you can try sharing it.

How about if you say - "Your heart does not seem to be in this any more, and I am wondering if it would be best to quit. You are a wonderful woman, and I have had a lot of fun with you, but I do not want to feel like you are just going through this out of some sense of obligation, or even worse that I am forcing you to do it." Is that honest? Sounds like that is what you feel - that her heart is no longer in this. Which is about her, not you, and definitely not about your feelings.

Then see what she says. Seems pretty simple to me, based on your stated plan (which may or may not completely express how you feel, IMO, but never mind that) - either the performance improves soon, or it is time to move on. I do not think making a stronger commitment to her will cause her performance to improve, but it does run the risk of convincing her that she can do whatever she wants and you will keep paying her for it, or maybe just confirming that.

And I am not going to even speculate on how much of her stories are true, other than to say I would take them all with a grain of salt. Because that really makes no difference at all. You want good GFE, I am assuming, so figure out how to get that or walk away.

zig

I do agree with your thoughts though...hookers who fall for clients on a regular basis need therapy. Unless you are into open relationships, there is a serious lack of logic with falling for a guy or gal who had already proven they are not faithful. If he is single, well that's another story but guys who hobby rarely ever quit altogether.

No, I don't have the need to try to make anyone believe anything. My response says it all, if there's no chemistry there won't be a repeat performance. Free was never on the table. Some of us in this business are very paticular of who we see and thats just a fact of life, live with it or not, your choice.