Gentlemen: When you do your research on a lady you're interested in seeing, is it customary to PM her reviewers? It just seems like the easiest way to verify that someone is going to be a good choice for you (pictures real, etc.). But maybe this is not appropriate protocol and it is considered rude to PM someone out of the blue.

Ladies: If a gentleman contacts you for an engagement, do you PM any of his whitelists or OKs? Is that considered rude to do out of the blue? I always thought if someone is very insistent on me contacting a particular provider reference but not any others, it makes me wonder why only her.

I do look at the pics to see if she fits what I like. I check the rates and see if there is anything that would make the date more special. I would not contact anyone she has been with and ask how it was. I just really don't want to know who was there before me. I'm very confident in what I have and what I do with it, just don't want to know that much.

I think for a provider, it is customary to "screen" the guy, and just assumed that contact was part of it.

I only PM hobbyists that I have seen around the boards or if I've seen their name come up in the reviews of other providers.

I don't PM each and every reviewer. Usually the reviewers with lots of details can go into further detail in PMs, so I avoid reviewers with short reviews.

I guess if all I wanted her to do is strip and spread her legs it wouldn't matter. I prefer longer dates and thus wish to spend my time with a lady I can talk to. You can't get that from a picture!

because I am not a VIP.  I really don't care to read them anyway because I believe that YMMV with pretty much any provider, and it depends on the chemistry between two people.  I get to know a lady from what she says about herself on her website and from her pictures.  For me, that's been enough to decide if I want to see someone and, at least so far, that method has worked quite well for me.

I only use reviews to ensure that the person is legit, that her photos are accurate and that it is the person I will meet.  Beyond that, I judge whether the person is right for me based on my own interpretation of what I read.

That time you read her review and she gave a bbbj on a ferris wheel at chuck e cheese to some other guy.

You get to know her from the boards and PMs and email. Not thru a review. The only thing you can learn from a review is whether  she looks like her pics or if she didn't do what she says she does.

in fact, the other hobbyists i pm with often trade suggestions for each other to try ladies they've never seen...am currently in communication w/a lady whom i was introduced to via a hobbyist i pm with.  will let you know how the date goes.

and i have been contacted by ladies who have heard about me from other ladies, so i know for a fact the girls back channel info as well.

that's the whole point of this web site, n'est ce pas?

wow, I would never contact a fella who hadn't already expressed an interest to see if he was interested in meeting me...ha ha.

I agree, I think that's very unprofessional (and risky on several levels). That's even worse than cold calling previous clients and trying to get them to see you because business is slow.

I don't think that is is rude or inappropriate at all to send a PM.  I occasionally PM a reviewer of a woman that I am interested in seeing with a specific question, based on his experience,  that will help me decide if the match up will be what I am looking for.  Not everyone who has reviewed her - but one or two perhaps whose posts or reviews I have frequently seen and whom I sense are similar to me in needs and expectations.  Similarly, I have received PM inquiries from others which I am happy to respond to.

Sometimes I will just PM a fellow hobbyist to thank them for their insightful words and evaluation of the qualities of the provider whom they have previously reviewed.

The added benefit.... as has frequently been noted, this is a lonely world, one where the needs for discretion interfere with building real relationships and even friendships. I can't discuss  hobby related issues, feelings, thoughts, ides  with civie friends or families. The boards provide a forum for discussion but are basically impersonal.  A PM is more personal and the communication usually more sincere. In one instance, a PM to a fellow hobbyist about a provider  has grown into a true friendship beyond the confines of this world. We soon discovered how much we had in common, have lunched together, know about each others personal lives, continue to regularly communicate and consider our relationship to be very real and meaningful. And - we can talk freely about the hobby as well as our work, politics and sports!


-- Modified on 10/23/2012 6:15:48 AM

Agree!  I never even initiate text conversations, though I always respond happily.  I teetered on the edge of letting a regular know this week that my menstrual cycle was imminent since he usually gets a hold of me a day or two too late during that week and decided against it as it felt too much like it would come across as door to door sales (and he knows me pretty well by now so I don't think he would view it that way)...he got a hold of me just in time in the end

i always do..it is the best way to get an honest opinion of any provider..i have about 20 or so reviewers i trust completely..they trust my judgment..i trust theirs..they have never been wrong..if i see someone i would love to see and one of my cohorts have seen her..i always check..if none have seen her..it is basic research..by the way Sarah..you are very highly recommended..

but I occasionally do receive PMs inquiring about a provider.

I usually get a good enough vibe from their reviews, and often I email the gal and/or talk to her before hand, so I haven't had any poor sessions as a result of not enough info.

like mrf, I don't pm other hobbyists. I will however, return pm's from hobbyists as long as they have written reviews and don't ask stupid questions, like "how much otc time did you get" or "did you get any of the menu items you didn't mention in the review"

Research is really important.  So far I have only seen one girl, but I did my homework and everything came out just fine. I don't want any unpleasant surprises.

I have contacted providers that have white listed guest to verify. It is an extra protocol.
I have also been on the other side of the equation, I have been notified about my white list too.
I would rather have someone contact me than not just to be on the safe side.

Kisses
JC

... PM the other reviewers.

If the lady has multiple reviews, I am not going to PM every guy, but I will PM at least 2 reviewers and I will PM the most recent reviews. Doesn't make any sense to ask a guy about a review from a year ago.

If the guy doesn't respond to my PM request, then I move on down to the next most recent review.

From there, I make my decision.

As for a whitelist, I don't have one nor do I want one.

Serpius

if I have questions about a review.  Most often guys write just what they want to reveal & don't expect a whole lot in return.  We're not going to chat over PM.  
I have not done this recently, perhaps because my research technique is better now.

I do read 'juicy details' before an appointment but YMMV is always true & each of us looks for our own 'perfect partner'.

I read the reviews, but that is probably more for entertainment purposes than actual research.  What I do for my research is look at the scores to see if there is a pattern and consistency.  Then, if there is some review/score that is out of line, I will read that one specifically to see what went wrong or really really right.  THEN  I will look at that reviewer to see who else he has seen and how he generally scores his ladies.  Often times I find that one persons 7 is another's 9 and that is how I factor those out.

I will never contact a reviewer for specific details, however, I have contacted a couple of reviewers that have seen several of the ladies that I am researching.  I will detail a bit of what I am looking for, the type of date, and some general comments of my likes etc.  Then I will ask him of these ladies, who do you think I will be most compatible with.  For example,  I like longer dates, and I have been guided to ladies who are better at longer dates than others.  

Most of my research will eventually boil down to (after I have been screened appropriately) the pre-appointment communication.

best of luck to all

I read a providers reviews.  I read the most current ones and some of the older ones to see what kinds of changes she may have or had not made.  I have not contacted any of her reviewers.  I also check out her website and see how she interacts on the various boards.  I may even respond to one of her postings via PM on a board to see what kind of response I get back from her.

I ALWAYS read the reviews from top to bottom. Often get pm's from gents on someone I've reviewed. Never have pm'd another gent but wouldn't hesitate. GREAT THREAD!

are starting to be less and less reliable as of late.

I saw one girl based on her reviews and she hardly did anything that the reviews said she did (DFK and MSOG) and told her her reviews said she did. She answered their all lies. Well thanks alot!

all kidding aside, actually i was a bit taken aback as well...the lady was touring my city and pm'd me before hand, telling me that "i am reaching out to a few select gentleman that have been highly recommended to visit while i'm in la. you are one of them"

upon further pm's, she informed me that "several ladies that are top providers on ter communicate often and share our favs with each other!!!"

i read her reviews and she was legit, but i wasn't in a position to meet her.

anyways, i try not to meet people that i haven't already met in real life at a meet & greet, or who has gotten a recommendation from a hobbyist i know.

In general, I don't care about having other reviewers knowing who I am seeing.  That's nono of their business, and unless there is something that is hard to decipher in the review...there's no reason to PM anyone.  I certainly am not of the school that other reviewers are "bros" and guys to shoot the shit with.

asking because to me, if a guy is new at this or has had bad experiences with some well-reviewed ladies, it just seems to make sense to PM a reviewer before having another bad experience.

Thanks again for answering!