Just a curious post wondering why everyone decided to get into the hobby if you wanna share. For me it's about having control over my sex life and not leaving it up to luck or another person. Imagine your really hungry, stomach rumbling, would you go to a random lake and cast your fishing rod hoping for the best, you either get lucky or don't eat tonight or would you just order takeout and eat till your full? Same mindset with sex. I do like to go out a lot and it's always fun when you get lucky here and there but making that the main source of sex sounds increadibly frustrating lol. As for "civie" dating I'm on and off but this hobby helps a lot cause I don't have to be desperate for sex I can get on demamd so no putting up with any bs in a relationship. I can leave whenever if I'm not satisfied and hobby instead, makes me feel bad for the guys I know who put up with toxic relationships and sexless marriages. Trying to get more friends into the lifestyle of freedom!

I just like having sex with beautiful women. Feels good and is a great stress reliever.

My personal reason is pretty simple i.e. guaranteed, no strings attached sex with gorgeous, skilled young women. All I have to do to enjoy that kind of amazing carnal experience is part with a little green paper. lol.
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I do have a FWB sitch right now, and it's great having someone to travel with, grab dinner, catch a show, and just enjoy spending time with. So between that and my p4p dates, I feel like I have got the best of both worlds for now.  
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I really believe variety is the spice of life, especially when it comes to sex. I can't speak for everyone certainly, but I think monogamy has turned out to be a failed experiment for a lot of people. There are just WAY too many exampls to ignore.

END OF MESSAGE

Me and my SO are the best of friends and I would never leave her.
But I have a mental block about having sex with her  
We are ok without sex with each other...she may have a dude on the side... doesn't bother me as long as she acts as a wife to me.
So I see providers to help me stay married to my wonderful friend.
If she was to ask for a divorce, I would give it to her with no problem because she is an absolutely wonderful woman who deserves more than I'm giving her.
It's complicated!

Agree with a lot of the points of the OP.
Sex is a need that I want filled on a regular basis, but I don't want to sacrifice my entire life for it.  
I was married for 23 years and it was a terrible experience.  
I gave one person the power over my sex life, so I had to try to keep her happy.
As we grew older, we had less and less in common so she never wanted to do anything I was interested in. Then you are basically stuck, because you can't ask someone else.  It is all complicated.
This allows me to do whatever I want, with whoever I want, whenever I want without the complications of a relationship.
I get my needs satisfied whenever I want.  The only restriction is my piggy bank.  Then I can enjoy the rest of my life without someone holding me back or making me spend the weekend with her family.  I have lots of female friends that I can hang out with.  They actually treat me better because we are not dating.   They all think I am a nice guy because I am not walking around acting like a horn dog (because my needs are satisfied).  
Not to mention, escorts are much more willing to please me.  They don't treat BJs as some special treat you only get on special occasions.  
Then if you count the expense of a divorce, this is a lot more economical.
Once you get over the societal concept that sex should be with someone you love, this becomes a much more enjoyable way of living.  

I’ve often been curious about this from a gentleman’s perspective too. Consistent intimacy plays an important role in overall well-being, especially the excitement and butterflies that come with getting to know a new body.

After twenty years of marriage the sex got stale.
We both were looking to spice it up so i got wife a sensual massauge by a black guy.  After fingering to a huge orgasms first time , cumming on her breasts the second time he fucked her the third time.
After that all she wants is big cocks preferably black.  I’m 6.5 inches  
she now has a steady lover that lives with us weeks/months. at a time
I’ve been cut off for almost twenty years now from being inside her.  She does do me Russian for relief once a month or so.
I know she knows i see others but it’s never discussed.  
I just love sex with beautiful women and have needs that my wife no longer meets or cares to meet.

Marriage of 25+ years got boring then menopause made her uninterested in sex, affection, touch or even talking much.  We became roommates that rarely talked and never did anything together.
I was sad, lonely, horny and frustrated.
It was in Myrtle Beach on business years ago and I went to escort services in the Yellow Pages of my hotel room.  Called one and an hour later a rather beautiful woman walked in my room and started telling me how sexy & handsome I was.  She ACTED totally into me.  I knew it was a Just a show but I LOVED IT!!!  I was definitely hooked. The only thing hotter than the sex was how she made me feel.
Sadly I don’t remember her name, but I was headed to Greenville the next day and she told me I should see her friend Missy K, who recently moved there.  The next night I had a repeat with Missy K.  I had her number directly, called and she came to my hotel room, and I was amazed. She was a good 10 to 15 years older than me, but MILF would have been a complete understatement. Holy shit, Missy had an incredible body also.  She pumped up my ego and I quickly learned that stroking my ego gets me harder than stroking any other part of me.  She was rather kinky and along the line she asked me if I liked anal.  I know that had never happened in my marriage and I tried a couple times in my young years and it wasn’t real successful, but I was ready to give it a try.  Damn, that was an experience I wouldn’t ever forget.  She was tiny and it took a while to get it in, but it was unbelievable tight and she could work her muscles back there in a way that was nothing short of magical. I saw Missy K the next day also and I was introduced to rimming & prostate massage by her.  I bet I saw her 25 times over the next couple years, my first ATF!

I incorrectly thought it was always this good.  Next time was in Knoxville, Tennessee, and it was ugly. I should’ve driven away when I pulled up to the apartment because it was sketchy as hell.  Smaller heads prevailed and I went in to see Kara.   Just after the money transferred hands there was a knock on the door. She ran to open it and in came this giant mean looking dude that told me I better leave if I knew what was good for me.  I hauled ass out of there. My first rip off.

I gave it up for quite a while after that experience.  I was on a trip with some buddies, and one of them mentioned this website called “the erotic review” where I could prevent getting ripped off.  Katie bar the fucking door!  OMG, finding this site was truly a turning point in my sex/hobby life.  I started enjoying the hobby quite a bit. I got very very active in the hobby, went to lots meet and greets and built a large list of ladies in Atlanta and Fort Lauderdale that I regularly enjoyed spending time with. In Fort Lauderdale I got invited to join “The Inner Circle”.  Think of it as meet and greets elevated. Events took place monthly at rented/borrowed homes and it would be 10 to 20 of the top providers in South Florida and a group of gentlemen that were mostly chosen by the ladies.  
There were incredible meet and greets going on in Atlanta also, i’m pretty sure Lawrenceville if I remember correctly.  These were awesome and really fun events as well. What a comfortable way for the ladies to meet us and us to meet them. I definitely had some preconceived opinions changed by meeting some of the ladies at these events.

Then all the FOSTA crackdowns happened and things came to a screeching halt overnight. I had a reliable list of ladies phone numbers for both locations and that was great for a few years but over the next few years most went away.

That was a great time to get on seekingarrangement.com, now seeking.com. I built a nice group of Sugar babies in both locations that kept me busy and entertained for quite a few years. It was great because a lot of them would introduce me to other girls interested in doing the side hustle.  It was a time where their expectations were in line with reality.

Times have changed dramatically and I still like to participate occasionally.  It’s become a lot more difficult with all the ripoffs going on and more scams than legitimate opportunities.  I understand what it is wanting a deposit cause I’m sure they get stood up and the scammers are going after them just as hard but sitting 3 for 3 on sending deposits and getting ripped off on all 3 i’m a lot more conservative than I used to be.

Dating sucks

an unexpected stroke and passed away in her 40's, so after a suitable mourning period during which I had to reject several of her female friends who wanted to "comfort" me in my grief, I decided I wasn't ready to hang up my spurs, but it had to be NSA for the foreseeable future.  A friend told me where to look for websites where I can make connections with providers.  Found TER a few years later and everything got easier.  

The wife loses interest in sex after age 45 and I didn't. Solution was easy. Have met some awesome women over the past 20+ years. Very few mediocre experiences if one does the research.  

Is this a great country or what?

called Menopause.  Some women don't go through it until into their 50's, so the lack of interest in sex may not have arrived yet.    Hormone supplements can restore some of the desire in many women just like TRT does in men.  

 
Before P4P, having come of age in SoCal, my "type" of women were generally tall, Scandinavian blondes, or hot, tanned Latina's, but through this hobby, I learned that I like women of all ethnicities and have tried most all of them, although I have not seen anyone who claims to be a full-blooded Inuit.  Short and tall are both acceptable to me as long as they are height and weight proportional.  When I started, I would not see anyone over 35, but as I got older, I found there is a better connection and more in common with women who are not more than 20 years younger than me.  

Orions? Are they an ethnicity or a species?  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orion_(Star_Trek)
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Of Gilligan's Island, people ask, "Ginger or Mary Ann?"  
Of the Orions, one might ask, "Vina or Marta?" Homina homina homina ...  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK9odsWwfIo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcrjzJduDUg

Vina, who resembles Susan Oliver, is pictured below.
Only one photo per post, but Marta, who resembles Yvonne Craig (Batgirl),  
is in this photo: http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/2PwAAOSw-ZFmU6Qo/s-l400.jpg

I discovered the hobby after a bad breakup with a woman I wanted to marry and 2 year dry spell.

It's just too much fun. Would I stop? If I met the right woman, yes.

But 10 years in and I still love it.  

this lady in the photo as a woman of color.    To answer your question of whether a different species or ethnicity, I would have to make a thorough gynecological exam first and just hope my instincts are correct and there are no teeth down there.  

-- Modified on 7/14/2026 10:15:49 AM

Once you start, it is really hard to find a woman that you would give this up for.

Same issue with my wife, happened when she was in her early 50’s.  We have not had any real form of sex since 2010.  I stumbled on the hobby in 2011, and never have looked back.  

We split up for a while, but she wanted to get back together, promised me she would not look into my business on this.  I do not do it in town, and I do not travel as much as I used to, so opportunities are rare.

I was married for four years prior.  She passed away.  If the internet etc were around in 1989, I may have never would have remarried.  

This!

 
I really dislike the games and drama associated with civilian dating.  I do have certain needs and desires however so this had worked out well. Over the years I have had encounters that turned into longer term arrangements and I have to say that I have throughly enjoyed exploring my sexuality as a provider.

because she is Susan Oliver, one of my long time favorites that I actually met on an early Sunday morning in the RVN!

give the man a cigar

i plan to quantify this at some point