So I've only been in the hobby for a few months, but in that time I have seen a fair number of girls. Most of the girls I find attractive, some of them I find interesting, but very few of them really blow me away. The girls that do blow me away are usually established, keep things professional, and make it clear that their performance is pretend. All, except one.

don't beat yourself up..there are about 4500 more girls that are just like her..  =-) if not better..( even tho..she sounds like a great actress)

... that providers can make excellent girlfriends... for an hour.  Or for however long the session lasts.  That's what you're paying them to be, when you see providers who offer GFE.  Some fellows never learn this lesson.

Now I'm sure we're about to have a dick size thread very soon.

-- Modified on 8/21/2014 4:40:35 PM

What you got is first degree burns from getting too close.  They'll heal up and leave no scars in about a month.

Many guys get second degree love burns that take years to go away, and then there a the real sad cases of third degree burns that never heal, and leave a fellow crippled for life.

Now, a few words about the difference between "guy" logic and "girl" logic:

When a guy accuses a gal of being "fake", she rebels from this and says she is real, because she doesn't want to be seen as fake. (Who does?)  So, she tells you she is real.  But, guys, with our one dimensional logic, take this at face value and do this guy logic thing where we see only two states:  Real (She loves me!), or fake (She doesn't love me.)

But there is a third, and very vast middle to this where a gal sort of likes some things about you but isn't quite sure herself so she says the stuff that she'd like you to hear, but not to take to heart too much, just enough to keep coming back and seeing her without being a nuisance.

You however, stepped over the nuisance line.  Further, you tried to put her in a "logic box", and gals don't like such boxes, and especially not a male - only two states - logic box.

Hopefully you are now a sadder but wiser guy.  Take a few weeks off and read the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus.

Please leave $50 with the receptionist as you go out.

Next!

Some guys want to fuck up a good thing???? I really don't get it. She's a great person, that's wonderful, it's very cool to like someone who you'te having sex with. But she's with you because you're paying her to be. Enjoy it, have a great time with a great lady, and then leave. It's really a simple arrangement. Why fuck it up?

not in a weeks time. And 3 paid dates in one week with her and you are only 2 months in, WAYYY to much, IMO!

First I think she could have handled it with more grace than it seems she did. And I'm sorry she didn't.

Please don't let this make you jaded. Just chill for a while and book with someone else. And if the lady you fell for starts missing your money, tell her too damn bad she shouldn't have gotten "mad" and your time money is going else where now. Don't be lulled back in.

Stay positive and have a damn good time when you jump back in the water!

Steph xoxo

-- Modified on 8/21/2014 5:11:12 PM

I wish this would get moved to the newb board. Some here seem to have forgotten about those rookie mistakes from back in the day!

I know I made some doozies!

Steph xoxo

For those that are prone to get attached - if you regularly change providers you don't fall into your own trap...

A week isn't "love". You are infatuated. I modified my first response, so it's sitting in queue right now. Please read when it's finally up!

xoxo,

Steph

Reality can be a bitch . . . Feel for the OP

But as I suggest to my gal pals who have johns like you....

No, you are a sadist who gets off on the notion of paying a lady for her time.

It's not like I went into it wanting to fall in love (infatuation) with her, it just happened.  

for newbies -

Of course that's not an altogether bad thing in P4P....but seriously dude...no shortage of thin gals with 32A measurements.

Not over complicating the transaction.

It's called "Mongering Like Yoda," and is available at Amazon.com in hard cover and on Kindle.  I have a personally autographed copy signed by mrfisher, "To my dear friend and mentor.  I would be nothing without you."

-- Modified on 8/21/2014 8:08:44 PM

First, DO listen to Mr. Fisher. Reread his post a couple times.

i didnt want to mention it on ter
after all its just chemicals in our brains right ?
when shit hits the fan will she still be there for us ?

-- Modified on 8/21/2014 11:28:17 PM

She wasn't for real... And all this time he's been paying her.  Hah

and do not scare her off - why not indulge in her company and in the pleasures of the relationship, even though it is conditioned by the P4P dynamic?  

is exactly why some of us hobby -

One of the things we're talking about, and which can't be avoided in the life, is the many kinds of love. The young girl who loves an older, well-established man based on his ability to provide and protect DOES feel and react in a LOVING way. It isn't the traditional definition of love, but in terms of the private language definition of A way of loving, it has as much integrity as any other kind of love. There's kind of a Nash equilibrium at play. Each party making decisions based on their own survival strategies.

The mundane life, at least for me and I expect for a lot of others, is no more and no less real than the fantasies. The difference is the level of energy and singularity of focus and concern, which in no way could be sustained by any of us, man or woman, for any length of time on the sunny side. But what is felt in session is as real as what's felt anywhere.

BYW, Markus, this relates (sort of) to the talk about the entitled generation. There was a time, in recent memory, when people concerned themselves with what they did--one's actions were important and subject to scrutiny--and how they felt or how they thought about what went down was just part of the scrutinizing process. In recent years, I've noticed people spending time and energy dealing more with how they FEEL, and maybe concerning themselves less with whether or not they DO anything of significance.

People have struggled with the meaning of love since we started walking upright, and we sure ain't gonna define it here.  But, I kind of like the way John Stewart (not to be confused with Jon) wrote it years ago in an under-appreciated little ditty.  

You simply met someone who is very good at what she does. The line between fantasy and reality is easily blurred with such women. Read her reviews. She likely evokes the same or similar responses in many of her clients. This quality of provider is hard to find. It hurts a little now, but you'll soon understand that she did you a favor. She gave you the fantasy of a lifetime and you learned that it is just that, a fantasy. If a provider wants to see you outside of the hobby you won't have to guess about it. She'll let you know without ambiguity.

I think you were simply letting your imagination blur her real intentions for you.  Glad you got lots of good advice here before you found yourself with more than just a "broken heart".

That some women could and probably have stopped being as nice and have scaled back their GFE because of guys like this. This isn't fair to those of us that recognize and don't cross the imaginary, yet indelible line. So guys that do this not only fuck it up for themselves, but for the rest of us too. I like quite a few of the providers I've seen, and that's a good thing, but I recognize that the only reason that I'm able to meet them and spend quality time with them is because of the arrangement. It's really a simple and beautiful arrangement, I can't figure out why some guys want to fuck it up. Don't fix what ain't broke.

appreciating it,  not over-thinking it, and not demanding some sort of emotion from it....

approaching this realm like you'd approach any form of entertainment. When you go to Disney, you ride those amazing rides, but you certainly wouldn't take a roller coaster to run errands around your town. You wouldn't go to a theme park expecting to. You feel the amazing ups and downs of the ride, and you know when you get off, that's that. You can come back and do it again as many times as you like, but a roller coaster on a road outside the theme park will never give you that same thrill. If you tried taking it out of the theme park, you'd be really disappointed with its performance and would probably blame the roller coaster for being defective. It's not the roller coaster's fault- it's yours for expecting it to suddenly turn into a sedan.  

with  a client crosses the line. it ADDS to the inevitable delusion of the hobbyist. Why make it MORE complicated?

I'm not convinced all OTC time crosses the line, but I agree that it can make distinguishing fantasy from reality more difficult. A lot may depend on what happens between the two and that can be extremely variable