I recently had a lady ask me for a reference for one of my clients. This client found her on BP. In her email she gave me her name only. I emailed her back asking for her to send me a link to her website because I always check out who I am sending the reference to just in case you guys didn't do your homework (no offense but some of you don't). She emailed me back saying that she has "tons of reviews" although I was unable to find any. Then she stated "never mind I will just tell him no" with a couple of choice words added in. I asked her to just calm down and send me a link to her reviews and that would be sufficient, but I never heard back from her.

Just so you gentlemen know, I am extremely reference friendly. However, I am not going to release your info. (or any info about whether or not I have seen you) to any lady that I cannot find anything about. With all of the craziness surrounding this biz, I do not want to get myself or anyone else in trouble.

My question to you is: Do you guys appreciate us ladies taking this kind of precaution on your behalf?

To be honest...I do things this way to keep myself out of trouble more so than to keep you out of trouble. No offense guys but there are some that just see a picture and send an email without checking to see if the girl is legit and I would like to keep my butt covered in situations like these.

Thank you for taking the time to give your opinion.

Always better to err on the side of caution Ashlyn.  Yes, I think guys do appreciate it if a provider watches out for him as well as herself.
It's all about keeping everyone safe.

Swim

Yes, the caution is appreciated.

When I give a specific reference (as opposed to just DateCheck ID), I have already contacted the lady I'll be using as a reference and given her the e-mail and website of the lady that will be getting in touch with her.

I try to prevent ladies from getting unexpected calls or e-mails, but I'm sure some get them anyway because of other providers simply looking at reviews I've written and calling one at random or something.

ie social security #, password, etc, before giving me information about my own account. I would be much more irritated if I found they were giving out my confidential information to any and everybody.


I would say this fall into the same basic category, I think you did the right thing. I also think her silence in response to a perfectly valid request by you in re to her reviews, speaks volumes about her as well.

Ashlyn, thanks and I do appreciate your precaution and trying to keep everyone safe.
Some clients just don't have a clue. I always send a heads up to the lady I need a reference from and usually a little something so she can remember me by.

while i never book impulsively and always do my homework and look at reviews i've found that ladies often have info that is unavailable to me. i've been kept out of trouble on more than one occasion by a lady (or a gent) giving me a heads up about a situation i wouldn't want to be a part of.

of course this can be abused: a lady or gent might cut out competition this way or protect a friend who is troubled. but with very few exceptions i've been happily surprised by how much folks look out for each other.

you did right.

The only way I ever do references is by sending an email copying BOTH women, so they both know it is okay to share the data. I do NOT have some lady contacting a provider I have previously seen out of the blue.

From time to time, also, a provider with whom I have never booked has gone on a fishing expedition, contacting some of the ladies I have seen. (Why she'd do that is a story for another day.) I DEEPLY appreciate that the providers I have seen have given her nothing, because I have authorized nothing.

In addition, there is one provider I have seen who serves as a "sanity check" on others that I may book. When she tells me to avoid someone -- I strongly consider her advice.

I realize that I am both fallible and somewhat naive. I also know that no matter how much I may study or learn through experience; a woman who is a provider will often have insight that I do not. I very much appreciate a woman sharing her insight with me.

-- Modified on 6/10/2010 7:49:37 AM

You done good, just wish everyone had the same policy.

What you asked from her is the standard, required info. I appreciate it greatly when it's followed. You do what it takes to protect yourself, and you're protecting me at the same time. And, though I like all the pretty pictures, safety is my number one concern. Thanks for bringing up this subject.

When I was new, I realized right away that most wouldn't know who I was when requesting references.  I always tried to remember to link my TER profile, which included my website. Now that I have been here a little longer, I still remember to include this information.  A typical reference request will also contain something about the gentleman, besides his name or email, to job the provider's memory.  The request you received contained none of the above.

In addition, I always try to make sure the gentleman has permission for me to make that reference request.

A legitimate provider should know all of the above, even if she is just starting out, and if you are to believe this provider, she has "tons of reviews," and therefore, she should know better!

as long as no one mentions my drinking

Thank You Dear. I for one appreciate your care.

What you did was right on.  Yes, I think most of us appreciate as much discretion as possible.

I would appreciate someone doing that on my behalf in the hobby and civi world so thank you for your post!

I wish all the ladies took your approach.

There was an incident here a few months ago where many women got a reference request.  The request even included a photo.

Problem was a) it went to many ladies referring to the same appointment date, and b) the lady had no web presence.

It looked like a fishing exercise.

You and your drunk friends.

I like the way you handled this - and appreciate you taking this kind of precaution.

ladies. As I have said on more than one occasion, if you were here form monogamy, you would go home to your wife or girlfriend.

from Raegan down to that asswipe OSP.


That will be enough out of you. Stop mentioning it.LOL

But to answer your question, we need all of the help we can get. Kudos & thanks for having our backs!

each other's back.

I certainly am not one of them, but they do exist. lmao

WASH each others back.

John that just ain't gonna happen.

Maybe you can entice some of the AWW_Clan to do that.LOL

Anybody who posts on the GD forum while they're in the lobby of the Hotel del Rey has my utmost respect. You may not be a gentleman but you are ... dah man! roflmao

Even if that was really trying to book with someone, I'd rather miss out on the appointment than have something go awry.

As clients, this is usually hidden from use so it is hard to show our appreciation. I, for one appreciate this kind of care.

Thank you,
HD

don't say crap like that to him. He can barely get his frickin head through the door as it is.

Dah man????? Dah drunk.LMAO

but thanks for the props. lmao

We do what we can.

I will be just outside of Carracas, Venezuela next week. Let's see what kind of hobbying trouble I can get into there. lol

Of course that is on the rare occasions that they wash. lmao

screw it ... Venezuelan ladies are muy caliente! Have fun, GG.

LOL...I wish I was in a situation where I could travel.

You never know when someone's wife or SO or ??  might try to confirm a suspicion...  

HE should have let you know & OK'd the referal
skb

The feedback really helps. Stay safe out there. Muah!

Not a dude, but wanted to give you a thumbs up for thinking about all concerned. Have done exactly what you did and will continue to do so. Stay safe!

Thank You! That's what separates the best from the rest.  If that doesn't create trust and loyalty between us, nothing can!

-- Modified on 6/10/2010 3:52:14 PM

Personally, if I find a provider on backpage or another posting board, I ALWAYS check them out on TER, date-check, etc. BEFORE I contact them. For two reasons, not only to assure that they are legit, but also to determine their personality and approach, which is of utmost importance to me to assure we will enjoy our time together. But I do appreciate when an honest provider double-checks on my behalf! Thanks!  Lance

A friend I know wife thought he was seeing a provider. She then found his hobby phone. Then she called some of the numbers and pretended to be a fellow provider checking on him. One of them gave him a reference. Now his wife kicked him out. If only all providers would check like you did maybe he wouldn't have been busted. I would like to thank you on behalf on a of us clients. (even if I don't have to worry about it myself.)

EOM means: end of message.
But since you bothered to look anyway...

A blind man goes into a whorehouse and asks for a girl. The madam figures, since he's blind, she'll just give him an inflatable, lifesize doll -- he won't know the difference. So the man goes in the room with the inflatable girl and comes outfive minutes later. The madam asks him what happened and he says, “I slapped her ass, she farted and blew out the window.”

Thank you for the laugh!

Absolutely you did the right thing. The only thing that would have helped is if the guy contacted you to let you know who would be getting in touch for a ref.
I know a couple of years ago there was some problems that came down and many gals in our region that used to give refs will not anymore and I don't blame them ... that's why I finally broke down and joined DateCheck ... has made life a lot easier.