How closely do you scrutinize our reviews? Does our reviewing history determine whether you will see us or not? Let me put up a hypothetical. ego_check primarily sees a particular age group, and body type. If you do not fit into those categories, will ego_check be denied a date? Does it prompt you to say "why me"?
they liked my taste in women they liked the way I wrote a review they learned something useful about me from my reviews (uh oh) they were attracted (isn't that sweet - or good marketing!) - by my reviews or posts
on the downside:
a few have said
they dont usually see gents who have written so many reviews (only 26) and / or were as active as I am on the boards.....
With some ladies who really use TER, I do think it makes a difference.
But I wonder, on those occasions when I never hear back after contacting a provider (especially in this economy - ducking now) if the lady checked out my "personaity" on TER and said "no thanks"!
that your board presence is SO overbearing, and you are SO opinionated that many refuse to see you. You have told everyone on this board MORE than most of us care to know about you. Your predilection for BDSM turns some ladies off too! You are on this board 24/7 and some ladies refrain from the drama.
This is not a flame, but an observation, and I've heard it from many providers.
because the ladies I see who actually use the board as a resource have the opportunity to pass on sessions that they and or I might not enjoy. I think that's a good thing
However -
I never ever ever do BDSM with a provider who does not initiate it. I am very much a BFE experience otherswise!
OTOH, I find a great many ladies of all levels of experience and all age groups tend to enjoy an assertive man.....
because of my unabashed postings here. My feelings on the subject are, if someone doesn't want to see me because of my opinions here, she has just saved us both a lot of time.
I don't stay up at night wondering what other people think of me, and I pity the poor spineless suckups that do. OTOH I try not to be mean just for meanness sake, and I hope I have made a lot more friends here than enemies.
I am hosting another gettogether soon, if no one shows up I'll have my answer. lol
Are typically reserved for dangerous clients not those who post things that some may not appreciate or agree with. I would hope that the DNS lists I have do not include non dangerous clients just because someone had a beef with what the person said on a board. Seems unethical to me.
but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I was also whitelisted by a provider I have never seen, I would consider that unethical as well, but it did happen.
quite a few names on dns list that I don't believe belong there and main reason I won't join. Not saying that a dns list is bad its not and I am sure its worked well with quite a few.
in my opinion a lot of the names are put there because of personal reasons and the real facts become twisted. Since I have serviced quite a few of them throughout a few years, with no problem what so ever in there behaviour. Yes, some may be not be smelling sweet as a daisy but I am not talking about those guys, I mean ones that are blamed for being a no good rip off and troublemaker and abusive, some of the posts I find untrue in my many experiences with them through few years. After seeing this for myself I don't trust the dns list to be totally correct. In my opinion, I think it would be impossible to actually verify if the guyis a real creep, unless there are a few complaints. But if one girl decides to blackball a certain guy its esay on the dns lists that I have seen. Now if there are several complaints with the same m.o. then its a different story.
Many a decent guy has turned to the darker side. The local dns list I use has a couple of gents I have seen and have had no issue...mind you that was a couple of years ago. In that time I guess they have morphed as I'm sure tastes change and in some cases behaviour. One particular guy went from a really decent client to an asshole in 4 years to where no-one wanted anything to do with him. I knew some asp's who saw him in his earlier years and were quite shocked, however his board persona and attitude at meet and greets told the real story.
In fact some guys are great with three ladies for reference purposes and the 4th he shorts or is rough or tries to remove the condom...we have one of those too. So as the weather changes so do some men's hobbying mo. And how one guy is with you is no real indication of how he will be with another..until you are BCD and then all you have is you and a dns if he goes bad.
I am skeptical of an uninterested in people who are unable to form, refine, debate, and refrom opinions, to articulate them, and to learn from others in the arena of rhetorical combat. What the hell have they been doing with their brains all their life? Boring Boring Boring. I do not enjoy their company male or female.
Just as it is wise for a provider to give consumers a sense of who she is and what she is like in order to attract the customers who will work out best for her, I find that the ladies who shy away from me because I am confident and assertive would in most cases not interest me.
As far as opinions go I've had awfully good sex and LTRs with ladies with whom I argued passionately (on the boards - better things to do when we're together!) about ideas. It is not the ideology that attracts me but the openness, the real-ness, the spunk. Sparks make sparks sometimes.
Ladies who shy away from me over the BDSM issue I do not understand, since I do not expect a BDSM style session from a provider who is not into it and does not initiate it, and after all, what I do with others (willing participants) should be no more of your concern than your hobbies are to me.... funny that the very same people who would argue for freedom of sexual expression in other areas do not understand BDSM, or at least do not respect other people's "relationships". Sigh.
For many many years I have received polarized reactions from people. Either - who the hell does this guy think he is? or - I *like* that guy. Now if the opinion of me runs 70 or 80% against me in provider - land, you are only making it easier for me to find the ladies I will really click with!
Lastly - you have no idea how many women I have encountered among providers (and others as well) who talk the PC / feminist game but who absolutely adore being with an assertive man who is yet respectful and a gentleman.
absolutely perfect. It shows that you love a friendly or even 'not so friendly' debate. However, you remain a gentleman. Good for you to be out there expressing your opinion. I have friends that I banter with often over politics and more. Yet, we remain very close and enjoy each other's company. I love a good debate. Especially one I feel I can hold my ground with. I have been a bit reluctant not to be too negative here on TER mostly because it seems opinions are taken to heart instead of being appreciated for what it is; a debate of opinion and not to be taken personally. A lesson I recently relearned myself. I enjoy reading everyone's posts. I am becoming familiar with some and can almost predict what their response will be to certain posts. It is entertaining to say the very least!
I enjoy a healthy(and sometimes unhealthy) debate, what a boring place this would be if we all agreed on everything. The venom and meanspiritness of some posters just shows they are ill equipped to engage in a battle of wits.
Many if not most of my closest friends I have made on TER started with heated debates of one form or another especially on the P&R board.
Gregory you keep using the word "assertive"...I know the Websters definition but how about describing how you are assertive in the bedroom because that's where you end up with these ladies...at least eventually. To me there is a fine line between assertive and arrogant. Or assertive in that you take charge in the session and it goes how you dictate. I am really interested to know as you do seem to get bashed and I am wondering if people are taking you the wrong way (the ladies in regard to business and the guys as a fellow hobbyist).
When I am with a lady who is not into bdsm or at least that kind of play - which has included the great majority of providers I see by the way - I am very much into GFE. And I reciprocate! I like to get to know the ladies a bit and find out what they enjoy. The secret here I suppose is that I find that most of the ladies enjoy a confident and assertive man, once they are comfortable with him. By assertive I mean someone who is not passive or unsure, does not need to be reassured, led by the hand, directed, have the agenda set for him. Someone who makes the lady feel like she is really really wanted. I suppose its nice for the provider to just let the guy take charge now and then. However, the boundaries are always set by the provider and absolutely respected by me. I am always a gentleman. And at the end of the day, if the provider wants to control the flow of the session, run through a script as it were, that is fine by me as long as I am enjoying myself. I am absolutely not a control freak. I just seem to attract a few ladies who want to give up that control now and again.
You will never hear that I have been abusive to a lady or that I have crossed boundaries that she has expressed. That I have been rude or obnoxious. Or belittled anyone for any reason. This may at times be my board personna but the board is not "real life"!
Sometimes as a client you accidentally cross boundaries when communication has not happened. But usually these are fairly minor things (don't touch my hair! etc). If a lady likes a bit of sensual pain (ie spanking with K9) she would have to tell me that - I would not initiate it. Oh - I do have to admit to not being as neet as a gentleman should be in the bathroom a time or two but I am working on it '
So? The ladies who know me generally think of me as a nice guy that a provider can have a fun time with. That's the reference I consistently get anyway.....
Thanks Gregory. I guess you're basically misunderstood on the boards. That can happen and it's unfortunate. I myself have been a little misunderstood as has almost everyone on here. I guess ya go with the flow and as you have most eloquently said and I agree, those that want to see you will enjoy your company.
When I'm in DC I have an office with unmonitored internet through extranet, and usually have a bit of time on my hands in the late morning and late afternoon. Now however I am traveling a lot more.
I enjoy keeping up with some of the personalities here (love em or hate em). And I'm always on the lookout for providers who present themselves in a way that interests me. I made a fantastic new acquaintance that way recently. I plan to make more.
and its always fun to go kibbitz on P&R
In reality, at the "heyday" of my posting, I would wind up checking in on TER for maybe 7-8 minutes a day. It does not take long when you are a speed reader and you do not have to flub around forever trying to articulate...
We also read your board posts and contact your references etc etc...
i mean come on now there is a wealth of information out there about providers so gents to make an informed decision. What do providers have to make the same decision? very little. You better believe we use every tool in the box when appropriate.
When I was new to this business, another provider explained to me that sometimes gentlemen will see photos or read a post that will pique their interest in a lady. However... thinking with the 'little head' can sometimes result in missing important information... and it's my job (customer service being what it is) to ensure that you're going to get the most bang for your buck. (So-to-speak.)
Hypothetical: ego_check sees 20-year-old spinner types ego_check also references, say... Greek... in most or all of his reviews.
I would feel compelled to reply to ego_check to make sure he's aware that I'm a 30-something MILF with a BBBJTC specialty, but don't offer Greek.
However, more than reviews... I find that I deny more dates based on posts or discussions on regional or the GD boards. I try to avoid asshats that participate in flaming, excessive/unnecessary criticism of a lady, or just general dickishness.
So... while I might use reviews to help with things like wardrobe choice or menu concentration, I've only ever declined a date as a result of exposing stupidity or bigotry in a semi-public forum.
But I do ask "why me?" when I'm an obvious detour from one's 'typical fare'.
Thank you for such a well thought out answer, Aria. While I enjoy the young spinner types myself, you would still fit the mold for my preferences. Now, if you play golf, I must hop a plane someday
During a screening if a gent supplies me a ter handle I check his whitelist. If not whitelisted I do read reviews just to make sure he sees ladies bacause he loves ladies. I had previously been exposed to the guys who actually think by coming thru our spot and placing money down degrades us. So I have only had to turn down a couple guys... Lucky I guess. Once a guy who his price range is out of the same ball park. And so I read his reviews...Chances are slim a guy has that much bad luck...You guys see a ladies ad...And after you see her you respond by posting reviews how ugly she was but you say her photos are accurate? you are somebody I would not see. I believe every lady here...Is WORTH respect !!! Weather the price is low or high... Be fair with you experiences. If there was a review board on you.... you would be kinder in your reviews.....
Very carefully. Reason being is that I won't see someone I know that I can't provide all that he is used to or put myself in an uncomfortable position alone with a stranger. At times I have refused to see gents due to their reviews or should I say particular tastes...nothing personal just that we would not be a good match in this arena...maybe great as coffee buddies but that's it.
And yes ego_check...if I know something specific that a gent likes and I am not or do not provide/posses it, then of course I will politely refuse his request for a meeting. Why would I see someone knowing upfront that part of their time with me will not be what they expect.
I primarily look at your reviews to help verify you are safe. It also helps to verify you have seen the ladies you are giving as referrals. I then check to see if you are white-listed. I do read a review or two sometimes just to see what you like. I'm not saying that is exactly what we will do, but it is nice to get an idea of your sexual turn-ons.
I would never deny seeing anyone if they saw someone with a different body type or in a different age group. VARIETY is the spice of life! That's what hobbying is all about.
I personally feel safer seeing someone who is active on TER and has recent reviews posted.
...look at a guys reviews (assuming he told me his handle when booking) unless there is something during the screening process that is not feeling right (chemistry or otherwise).
I am more likely to research a guys posts, and his general attitude on the board, before looking at his reviews.
the vast majority of my clients probably are not even aware of escort review websites. i try to avoid men who review escorts, not based on the reviews themselves, but because i try to avoid seeing men who have lots of experience with escorts. my goal is to attract clients who are looking for something/someone special, who have a real need and void in their lives that i can fulfill. therefore, i don't see the business travelers just looking for someone to spend a night with while they're in town. i don't see the guys who just crave variety and want to sample a new flavor every week or month. i'm looking for those who want something a bit more special, and who desire a long-term genuine connection and relationship.
therefore, a review history of any kind is a negative for me. three times i have seen gents who had a review history...and guess what? they each wrote a review of me! it made me feel cheap, inhuman, to be rated like a hotel or restaurant. i think it takes a certain kind of person to be able to think of women in that way. of course i could be generalizing, perhaps it's not always that way.
but of course, intellectually, i understand the purpose of reviews and review websites, and i realize most providers want reviews (good ones of course)...those are just my own personal feelings on it.
I'm not a provider but I do have something to contribute here.
A year or so ago, I booked a date with a nationally-known provider I'd been watching for some time. A day or two later, she e-mailed me and told me that she had read my reviews on this and another board and she had concluded that I liked to kiss. She explained that she didn't kiss and was concerned that her limitation might interfere materially with the date.
I was VERY impressed and have recommended this fine lady every chance I get.
I do like to read the reviews when I can before a date.... but I confess sometimes it's just to "warm up" a little! I love to read...what better reading that short hot stories of what a gentleman I am about to meet has enjoyed (or not) in the past? What better way to think of new inspired things to do or at least try!
The flip side is of course if I see things that concern me or that I don't do it does give me "heads up" to be sure BOTH of us will likely enjoy our time together.
It doesn't matter to me if you review or not or how many reviews you have posted, what matters to me is that you've seen other Providers and your time with them has been enjoyable and safe, I personality could care less about your reviewing history..When i do my reference checks and i see that you've seen young blond 20 year olds, i'll mention to you that i am a MILF and i'm a mature woman, as a courtesy to you maybe thinking you have me confused with someone else, Donations don't come easy to a few of you Gentlemen, and i want you to be sure i am the one your looking for, But once your here not matter what your "typical" group is, i KNOW you'll leave very very content and pleased! Jay
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