On two recent occasions I wanted to visit a provider for the first time and they required a screening process that included other provider references, including names and contact info. I'm not sure if the other providers know my name (I only use my first name when I hobby) and I think it is a bit rude to ask one business person to recommend me to a competitor. In the past I have given names and phone numbers, including work numbers, and did not have a problem with that but this is a bit more. Has anyone else had this happen and how did you respond. Thanks.

I have received and given provider references many times.  I am always glad to do so adn appreciate when a girl gives one to me.  We are all one big, happy, "no strings attached" family.  I am always happy to give a reference to another girl in regards to a nice gent that I have seen.  It's one of the ways we are all able to  keep safe, informed, and happy. After all, business is business and friends are friends.  You are doing a service to all of the ladies who provide by sharing your references.  Happy Hobbying!

I always ask for recent provider references and always give references when asked.

But then I do not see other ladies as competitors - we do not sell mass produced identical items like sears vs macy's.  Each lady is unique and just because someone had a date with me does not mean they can not see anyone else.  If it was the case we would be married )))


XoXo

Lina

I found indiviual provider references counter productive.  It took a lot of pre-planning and coordinating with the verifying providers and you was at the mercy when the verifying provider would return the request.

To solve this problem, I suggest you join Date-check, P411 or RS2K and verificatioin service.  Go to the newbie board and put in a seach and will give you a lot of information

I get asked for provider references much more often than employment information. I feel a little bad having one lady provide a reference to another -- I always wonder if they think "why don't you want to see me?" -- but I do it. Most ladies are used to it.

I usually ask referrals and check them carefully
Most ladies that   I contacted were VERY nice about.
Why not HELP the other providers  with referrals.. KEEP everybody safe

You can also mention your TER user name
The provider can check you under your screen name in TER
I  don't see any  problems at all ..
KISSES CC

I totally agree...I've also been contacted and gave rave reviews about my regular to the other provider, I believe we providers should look out for each other..that is how "we" all stay informed and safe..provider and hobbyist alike.

already said, most of us dont see each other as competitors.  variety is partly why fellows see us gals to begin with.  and the camaraderie of our peers often stills away the lonelyness and isolation that seems to be part of this profession when so much discretion is required.

Most screening providers will seek or require references.  I want to know that the client has behaved in closed quarters while alone with a provider as well as to be sure he's done this before.  There's no competitive issues for me and I am happy to provide references as well.

Most every girl I see asks for references the few that haven't screened I tell them they should. I don't want anyone busted especially if I've seen her as most girls save my ph # and/or e-mail address. I know a lot of guys hope this isn't true but how do you think they know they've seen you when another girl asks them?
 BTW a few girls don't return reference requests unless you also let them know you've used them as a reference, which is good for guys worried about being found out.

they want, then move on to someone else.  A lady needs to feel safe and comfortable when seeing a hobbyist.

That is the screening process. I find preferred411 to be the best way to screen clients. Its a canada based site and they thoroughly screen every gentleman.  I would suggest that you join, it safe and easy for you and the companion you intend to visit.

I'm in the same boat as you for different reasons.  I have been hobbying for many years but go through times when I don't see a provider for a year plus.

I don't always have current references.  I have made friends with ladies I have seen over the years but I don't see them as a valid reference.

I keep a preferred 411 membership but they don't provide references to ladies that are not members.  

I am willing to provide as much information for a lady to feel comfortable regariding work references.  Hell, I even have an employee ID from over 20 years ago!  I just get in a spot where I don't have current references when I have booty calls on the side the keep me happy.  

As others have suggested, if they won't work with you then I move on.  There are others who will understand and work with you.  If it wasn't meant to work most times it is for the best.

It is surprising to me that you don't already know that with the number of reviews you have written.  I do not look at another lady as competition.  Hobbying is supposed to offer VARIETY.  I am never offended by a referral request.  All the DC ladies I am familiar with are always reference friendly.

I know one guy who hated to use a reference more than once so each time he wan't to see a provider that required references he'd see one who didn't to get a new refernce. I used to tell him to just get WHITE-LISTED here on TER but he wanted his handle to remain private so he spent way more $ than necessary.

All the ladys I seen ask for one so I dont mind.  I kind dont blame them what happened if something happens to them like rape or theft.  The ladys need to be safe just as the guys.

I third that statement! Ladies who do not respond to a request for a reference can be a problem. It is a choice each of us must make, to give them, or not. Some ladies view it as a discretion issue. Others realize what a valuable tool it is for keeping us all safe. In the end, references are great, but they can never truly replace screening. The best screening tool is your gut feeling about a person. If it feels the least big "hinky," just move on to someone else - and that applies to both ladies and gents.

this is very true, if both parties are the least bit uncomfortable then the experience isnt going to reach its full potential. I do my screening for my safety and i am open to questions to put the other person at ease, my reviews are listed so any doubt of who isay i am should end there. I dont care about a persons personal life (ie- home address and wife and kids) I'm there for him, Im not a home wrecker im a relationship saver! lol.