I agree with aporopo. I do feel safer with married guy because it can be complicated when the relationship become more emotionally intimate with single guy. Also once in a while I have clients who "forget" to leave/bring donation. It's almost always single ones. So don't worry. I sometimes ask whether married or not just to get conversations going.
Several times I've been asked by a provider if I'm married. It's usually in a tone that means, "You're not married, are you???" The few times it's happened, its after I've seen a provider a few times and we really clicked. To be honest, I lie and say I'm single because I believe she'll think less of me if I admit I'm cheating on my wife. Childish concern?
At times, I think, "why are you, of all people, making a moral judgement?" Other times I just feel guilty because I enjoy the company of this wonderful person. In my head I know I'm simply a client, but in my heart, I sometimes wish I could have more with this provider. I never make a moral judgement and I expect the same from a provider. As a result, I never talk about myself much. Often, it seems like I'm being evasive. And for me, as I'm growing older, it's less about the sex and more about getting to know someone in a very intimate way. It's the road, not the destination.
Anyone else have this experience? I'd especially like to hear from providers who might have popped the question once or twice.
actually I think ladies feel more comfortable and safer with a married guy , so by saying your not married u may be missing out on something. Really dont think they are asking you that to judge you or your morals at all. think that's your own guilt coming up.
I agree with aporopo. I do feel safer with married guy because it can be complicated when the relationship become more emotionally intimate with single guy. Also once in a while I have clients who "forget" to leave/bring donation. It's almost always single ones. So don't worry. I sometimes ask whether married or not just to get conversations going.
I think personal status is one of them. I understand the concern about potential stalker guy with single folks. There is one very well know provider that ended up having to change her real name and move because of a stalker. And yes....he was married.
I don't ask any personal questions. I really don't want to know. I pass enough moral judgement upon myself! If he starts talking, I will gladly listen! I keep the topic to just us. At least I try to..I have the unfortunate "gift of gab". lol! I enjoy an intellectually stimulating conversation!
everyone I see is married. Most are. I actually am surprised when I do see someone who is single. I always let the client bring up that subject as I'm not interested on their status. But on the otherhand I have had MANY clients ask me personal info, like if I am/was married or not.
I don't want to know if a provider is married or has a SO. For some reason the fact that a provider has other clients doesn't bother me a bit, but the fact that there is a SO in her life is a slight turnoff to me. I have no idea why I feel this way, just call me wierd I guess.
Although I've never been the one to bring it up, I don't mind it at all. I think nearly half of the ladies that I've seen have asked if I'm married. I don't mind talking about family, theirs or mine. I even met one lady's husband one time. That was a strange one.
I'm guilty of asking that question a few times...simply because I like to get to know them and chat a bit and if single they usually have more time to do that.
I've gone out to lunch before or after sessions with clients too...married and single men. It's just that the single men have no one to answer to & can be seen in public with a lady.
I stopped asking and just let them volunteer the info and talk about it if they want. I let them know I am available before or after sessions sometimes to go out to eat if they want to.
Being friends with clients is not a bad thing...in fact, some of us ladies enjoy it.
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