I have learned something about my hobbying preferences that was unexpected. I find that although I was initially attracted by appearance I find myself now much more interested in connection / performance. So, my research now includes a stronger emphasis on performance and a bit less on looks. I originally thought that I could overcome YMMV by being more friendly or offering more compensation. However, I find although there may be some ups and downs most provider’s performance levels from previous reviews tend to be pretty close to what I have experienced.
As I have been at this a short time I find myself only returning to providers that I had a strong connection with and where the performance was best from my perspective. In my case the strongest performers have not been the most beautiful. Don’t get me wrong compared to civvie life still very very attractive. But, in the context of hobby life where 9’s and 10’s are only a phone call away I find the ‘connection factor’ for me overrides the ‘appearance factor.’
So here’s my question: Guys, which one is most important to you? And ladies, do you believe this is a trend or perhaps unique to my experience.
is key for me. I don't like "scripts", no matter the looks. I want a nice conversation. Not to feel rushed. A bit demure in vocabulary while the action is occuring. So 'performance' for me is more social/inter-personal skills. I do look for certain activities to be available, but beyond availability, the looks are low on the hierarchy for me. In a date, I am making myself physically vulnerable, and having a connection makes that vulnerability a plus instead of a minus if there wan't a nice connection.
-- Modified on 1/25/2008 10:20:25 AM
-- Modified on 1/25/2008 10:58:47 AM
I like the way you think! Lol
m-
Thank you DD!
Damn, I'm guessing that connection is not important to you --
What the hell, I might as well post right.
Transcend, I am in total agreement with you. To me the connection is much more important.
Sometimes though, you really do get lucky and are able to find an incredible mutual connection coupled with outstanding beauty with the same lady.
That is when that really special experience takes place.
But performance keeps me comming back.
In other words, it is the appearance which will make me take a look at a provider, but it is the performance ratings which will make me actually pull the trigger and see her.
Well said Ras.
Of all the ladies I've seen, I think only two were really drop dead gorgeous. One of them was kind of a bust, while the other was one of the most amazing experiences I've had on both performance and connection. It seems that all of the others, though far from being plain, caught my eye for other reasons. Some may have been just some little thing they said on their websites. A couple were simply a cute little smile on the photo page. They've all been beautiful in my eyes, but looks really are secondary. I think that connection and performance are directly related for both people involved.
Based upon what you wrote, I expected to see a couple reviews with great appearance scores, and one of those with a great performance score. Further, I expected to see many others with mediocre numbers. That wasn't at all what I found, so now I don't quite know what to make of your reviews. Presumably, I'm just being short sighted, but I'd appreciate a road map...
First, I never said that any of the ladies were mediocre. In fact, I said that they were all beautiful in my eyes. Second, I haven't written reviews of all of the ladies I've seen. Third, I think if you look again, you'll see a lot of 8's and 9's.
spending time with a few ladies that were both beautiful and were spectacular lovers.
I gravitate towards women I think I will connect with because the best orgasms are the ones that start between your ears.
I had one lady that I connected with on such a level that I felt writing a review would have been betraying something more than a hobby experience.
She was and remains my singular 10/10 experience and no one I have ever seen hobby or civie has ever come close.
But if it comes to seeing a 10/6 or a 6/10, I will always take the 6/10 especially if she is fun to be around and we connect mentally and emotionally.
Here's Hoping You All Find Your Own Personal 10/10.
Well said. I think you've captured it.
And these become our ATF's..looks and great service!
Someone used Gilligen's Island as an illustration, awhile back. Your question reminds of that. Hmmm! Let's see, the movie star or the brunette? I'm not on an island therefore I go for both; physical attractiveness and the connection factor. It hurts my brain too much to think about such things when I really don't have to.
I think it's important to remember here that every guy has a different opinion of what defines a beautiful woman. There are as many different definitions as there are men looking for women. Everyone's version of a "10" is different.
I choose who I see based on what is written about her in her reviews and her photographs. Honestly, I haven't seen too many "ugly" providers out there advertising so I'm not sure I even understand what you are saying here. To be sure there are ladies who are not my cup of tea but I would always assume that, if they are making a living in this business they must have guys who like their type.
Would I book with a girl who had great reviews but was not my "type"? Hard to say as I am pretty flexible in my definition of a physically attractive woman. I can say I would never book with a gal who didn't have good reviews no matter how physically attractive she was.
Transcend, I think I learned what you are learning now years ago when I used to cruise for SW's. The best looking girl on the street on a given night did not always show me a good time but the friendliest ones always did.
I met a nice looking provider working one of the better hotels in Atlanta, but a few weeks later, I saw her working a bus stop near Peachtree and Piedmont Av. I never saw her again and now I know why her fee was so low... It's not that price, appearance, and performance are mutually exclusive, but it helps when you think she hasn't fucked the whole block and other side of the street too.
-- Modified on 1/25/2008 6:20:40 PM
and I gave up on it a long time ago...There was a time in Boston when you could cruise "the track" and choose from dozens of hot young women every night of the week as they did the stroll. No one gave much thought about how many guys a girl like that did in a night, a week or a month because there was no attempt on the part of these girls to appear to be even remotely GFE or "low volume".
As for your "gutter" reference...well, if you hadn't seen that hotel girl working the bus stop would you still be seeing her?
As I've said here often, the only thing we really know about what these ladies are up to when they are not with us is, well, nothing! I'm not saying that volume is not an issue for me but only in the context of how it effects her attitude when she is with me. I see a girl and if I like her I see her again. I don't worry too much about where she was before she came to my room or where she is going when she leaves.
... that bothered me... just that the street scene was not something I sought out and while you may be right about if I had not seen her, I would have gotten her to divulge her dossier so that I could decide whether certain activities were something I'd be interested in... Like you, I get that we really don't know them and I also respect your point of view.
It's been years since I picked up SW's. Once I discovered the wonderful world of indoor sex with GFE providers I had no desire to go back! Still your assumption that any lady is giving you full disclosure when you ask her to "divulge her dossier" is a roll of the dice at best. Again, you only know what she tells you....unless you happen to see her at the bus stop! 
I know I'm off topic a bit, but I just wanted to say that I have a good friend and professional business partner that walked the streets of San Francisco in her earilier days. She now has her Ph.D. and has held some very prestigious positions in her field of expertise. Each person needs to find the context in which they feel most comfortable and safe to hobby in. However, we can never know the human potential that lies within the person we are choosing to meet with.
I am not judging any woman for what she does or how she chooses to do it. The comparisons I draw between SW's and the in call ladies I see now are comparisons of the type of experience, not the lady involved in it.
I've been hobbying and hanging out in strip clubs for most of my adult life and I know quite a few women who have moved on from jobs in the sex industry to more traditional work. I also know several who have earned degrees and choose to remain in the sex industry or came back to it for various reasons.
I have nothing but respect for any woman who is doing what she wants to do and is in control of her own destiny. In my experience this applies to the vast majority of ladies that I have known in the industry.
-- Modified on 1/26/2008 4:29:45 PM
You're right. I didn't hear any judgement in what you wrote. I was just projecting what others might be thinking regarding, any women making a living as a provider, and felt a personal need to express my experience of a great lady. That's why I mentioned that I was getting off the topic.
Both, because they are interrelated. I suspect performance affects our perception of appearance. Good performance and chemistry may gain an undeserved point on the appearance scale. I suspect when the performance and chemistry decline we also start noticing the blemishes in appearance we previously overlooked.
A few years back when I started, I cared more about appearance, but now if the lady looks half-way decent and stellar performance ratings, I’m there. I know some guys come here for the “out of my league” type ladies, but I just care about performance. Drop dead gorgeous & great sex doesn’t always correlate.
The ‘ugly provider” comment, I guess that’s a subjective opinion, but I will say this though, a few years back you had more providers that had a main stream attractive look and not the barely o.k Plain Jane appearance. You didn’t have the photo-shopping epidemic that’s seems to be here to stay.
When I speak of beauty, I’m talking about natural beauty, I’m not referring to fat or skinny, tall or short just hey she looks attractive. I had a lady give me a hard time since I gave her a 7 rating & she felt she should be higher, I didn’t want to be a jerk & bruise her ego by saying I was being very generous with that appearance rating. Hey thank god for aliases huh. lol
Appearance catches my eye but performance allows me to send an e-mail to set up the date.