Write Review
2,077,579 Total Reviews 3,574 New Reviews
8,648 Users Online

TER General Board

Re: Perception vs Reality...
Aleem 1379 reads
posted

Thanks all for the variety of perspectives.  You've given me some good insights to consider.

Aleem3036 reads

How often do providers meet a date who they later want to have a different relationship with?

I've had several dates with a provider and they were total GFE experiences.  She's made it very clear to me that she wants to see me again outside of the business.  I'm finding it very very difficult to believe.  It must sound like I am being judgmental and I'm really not trying to be.  I just feel that my perception may be clouded and subject to way too much bias.

I figure if a provider can hate a date then logic would say the provider could love the date too.  I've read plenty about providers having bad experiences with scammers, cheats, thieves, etc.  And I've read about providers referring to their dates as BFEs.  So there must be posts out there about relationships, just haven't found them.

I'm totally confused about the situation.  I am very attracted to this provider on several levels.  Her opinion is very valuable to me and she provides me with great perspectives on life.  She's intelligent and demonstrably an excellent businessperson.

So do I abandon all of the defense mechanisms my brain is putting up and open my heart to hurt or am I already being a fool?  There would be no question under different circumstances, but I found her, sought her out as a provider and to date we've had a business relationship.

I appreciate any wisdom from the collective souls here.  And providers, if this has happened to you, did you find it difficult to transition that date to a friend or more?

Thanks all in advance,

Utterly confuzored - Aleem.

ReplyQuoteReport
SinsOfTheFlesh619 reads

In more than a year of providing, I have met only one man with whom I was so enamoured that I wanted a relationship with him beyond providing. In that one case, I made it clear to him that I wanted to see him on a personal level - and after our first meeting, an envelope was never exchanged again.

I don't know what the situation is between you and your lady, but if she is serious about wanting a more personal relationship with you, then the best way to tell that she is sincere is if she is seeing you without expecting an envelope. If she is still looking for you to hand her an evelope, then its more likely that she is playing a game.

Just my opinion anyways. Good luck :o )

ReplyQuoteReport
cleanmachine1016 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Mantaray605 reads

Hey, providers are "real women", too! They can become attracted to their clients, though that may not occur very often. I had a pretty serious friendship/relationship with a provider, lasting over two years. We spent lots of time together, travelled together to Europe, skiied together. We even lived together for a few months. It didn't work out in the end. But, we gave it a chance. Remember, most relationships don't work out. One of the big question you have to ask yourself is whether you can deal with what she did or does for a living. Beyond that, it's the same questions that every relationship faces, which boil down to, are you two really compatible? Yes, the sex was great. We both got tested before we started, and we were both clean. Anyway, I wish you the wisdom to know what's what.

ReplyQuoteReport
MochaNautteBBW661 reads

When I first became independent, I met a client that turned out to be a really nice guy. We hit it off right away and have been dating for the last 5 months.

He knows what I do for a living and doesn't have a problem with it.

ReplyQuoteReport
unseenrain5310 reads

Related Link: http://marri.rare-courtesan.com/

ReplyQuoteReport
Bob Crane1794 reads

Sorry, Aleem, but assume the worst. The best way for a provider to have repeat business from a guy is to have him become attached.

ReplyQuoteReport
vegaseloquence943 reads

Very True. I completely agree with your point. However, there are those Providers that are one in one million :)

ReplyQuoteReport
amrdck1138 reads

if you're happy the way the things are now, what else are looking for? A serious relationship with a provider? Like life isn't complicated enough already.

Here is the question: is she still charging you for her time while saying she wants to see you outside? If so, probably she might be thinking charging for that time too.

If you still give an outside 'date' a try, just ask her out for a cup of coffee, movie, etc to understand better what's going on and what you both are thinking. At least that's how I would do it. Good luck.

-- Modified on 6/30/2007 8:26:30 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
dragonfly2006903 reads

See her outside, have coffee and discuss what you want.  

Don't try to to second guess her or "feel her out" [no pun intended], just be direct.  This will cut down on a lot of confusion and hurt feelings.

ReplyQuoteReport
Beret1967 reads

You are going to get where you are going a lot quicker with clear communication. Don't know about you, but I have to budget for hobbying and at any given moment it is more than the cost of dating in the civvie world (I know in the long run it words out but that is how my situation works out).
 I would say that you need to talk for clarification and that what your heart would like to do can be in conflict with what your wallet allows. Ask her what she expects and what seems fair. I always try to remember that this is how she makes a living..
 Good luck

ReplyQuoteReport
Tarzan9963 reads

Aleem, you seem like an intelligent guy and you're lucky to have found more than a provider. Savor that delicious find.

But now you're wary of being made a fool, but if you're looking for insurance against ever being hurt, you won't find it here on Earth.

I would advise to remain ever viligant and remember that providers have more experience with men than you do with women. Some have good acting abilities so you need detachment to assess what you have.

Explore this wonderful girl you've found, but guard your heart with all diligence.

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher760 reads

You seem to be so caught up in the question of whether or not this offer is authentic, that you lose sight of what it is you want in life.

Most men hobby in order to avoid the LTR situation, not to find a life long soul mate.

On the other hand, if that is what you were after all along, then give it a shot, but think several steps ahead to where this might lead and ask yourself if you want to be there.

If so, then by all means, go for it.  

Just keep your eyes wide open.

ReplyQuoteReport
Aleem1380 reads

Thanks all for the variety of perspectives.  You've given me some good insights to consider.

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!