What is the etiquette when references are requested? As a monger, do you just provide the reference and hope for the best. Should you ask the the potential reference first? What is the best practice?

TIA

the provider if I can use her as a reference. Then when I get OK from her, I send the email to prospective provider / booker letting them know whom to contact.    

 
If the shoe were on the other foot, I would hate to get email from an unknown person asking me for a reference. So imagine yourself to be in the shoes of a provider,. Wouldn't you?

-- Modified on 8/10/2021 10:07:37 AM

I try and avoid using or having to send references at all.  I have been using P411 since a lady that I saw referred me to them and the process is much quicker.  Back when I was hobbying heavy it was easier to use recent references, but now that I have slowed down it would be darn near impossible without P411.  Before P411 I used to ask said providers at the end of the session if they minded if I used them as a reference.  I concur with what Curly said, it is best to reach out to the provider(s) you are seeking a reference from so that they are not blindsided.  

Agreed.

P411 is the only way to fly.  Works for me for many, many years.

Some ladies do not provide references. Some will only provide a certain amount of references per client. Asking permission to use as provider as a reference is always the best way to go because in some cases they may not respond to the reference request otherwise.

that while most escorts are happy to provide references, some are not.  

 
Also, avoid going to someone you have not seen recently, meaning 2-3 months.

I definitely ask, just to make sure. I, too, rarely need references due to P411 membership.

I did have a couple of ladies ask me if it okay to contact some of my P411 okays. In one case she asked to contact my last okay - who I gave a heads up to and asked if it was alright. In the other case I asked that when the okay is contacted just please let her know that I did not not know specifically which okays would be contacted or else I would have given her a heads up.

Side note:  Some also place a usage frame on how many time you can use them as a reference.  That is of course based on how many times you see said provider that is being used as a reference.  I have also heard of providers becoming territorial and getting pissed that the client is seeing other providers on the strength of their reference.  

with about 80% of the indies I see.  On the second visit, I will ask them if I can use them as a reference two times, during the next 90 days.  Because they already know I tip from the first session, I have never had a provider turn me down within the limitations of my request, which again, is two times within 90 days.  If I wanted another ref after that, I would visit her again first for another session and ask again.  I don't think you can keep asking for a reference from a girl you don't plan to see anymore.  As along as I'm seeing one to one and half indies a month, on average, I never run out of references.  I know many other guys who follow this same guideline in asking for refs, and they universally have had good success with it.

We know that you are compulsive liar.  
We know of the obsessive know-it-all and endless bragging.

So your ENTIRE POST above is PURE HORSE MANURE.

Let's do some FACT CHECKING:  Of the LAST 50 REVIEWS:
"Of 80% of the indies I see"......

You don't see indi's...
You see agencies/houses or in rare instances use handlers.
NONE of the reviews had an indi email address or web site, period.

"I see 1 1/2 indi's per month and never run out of references", YET you have NEVER REVIEWED ANY INDIES!

AND YOU DONT TIP either.  YOU are CHEAP, and we have more agency girls in our chat group than you have as guys who share information with you.  

Before you even think about starting another pack of lies:
You accuse me and others (who don't post reviews) of being anti K-Girl...

You had ZERO appointments with Caucasian women
You had ZERO appointments with Black women
You had ZERO appointments with Brown women

So stop posting on this board.  Its time to stay in the K-Corner--home of the BBFS which comforts you.

OR, just STOP LYING and POSTING FAKE REVIEWS.

I met a girl and she actually told me she was good with references. I used it this week along with giving more than I thought I would ever give.She didn't respond this week after getting verified last week. Massage girl.  
Frustrating.

for a reference as some ladies do not provide them.
If she is reference friendly reach to reference first and ask what is her preferred method for references to contact her.
I am reference friendly  but email only no number published anywhere online.
I have had guys ask first for a reference and some just used me without asking.
Personally speaking only for me it doesn't matter either way.
Recently,had a guy give my phone# to his reference and she text me. Why would he do that?

P411 is still the gold standard for verification---been a member for 8 years and still swear by it. (A P411 membership with several "OK's" from established providers will get you in the door 90plus percent of the time.)

I never ask a provider/booker if I can use them as a reference. However, I have seen several kgirls once or twice a month for a long time and they are my go to reference. Then when I see a new girl, I might give her as an additional reference in the few weeks after I visit. Same with Indy world. If I see an Indy girl 5-6 times a year, or twice in a brief period, I expect that she would assist. I always tip, especially the girls I intend to use as references. I have had good luck so far except one booker in the Valley who does not give refs. That’s unfortunate as I see his/her girls a lot. I’ve never been admonished for giving a particular reference too much! Perhaps not perfect protocol, but if you treat everyone well and give recent or regular providers as references they will assist most of the time!

I think it's best to always ask first. I want to ensure that I have the client's express permission to provide a reference to the specific provider reaching out. Reason being is 1) that's private information and 2) unless I'm super busy, I try to be really informative because I've received mediocre references from providers in the past. For example, I've received a plethora of references where providers have literally only responded with, "he's okay" but when I meet the client there are either hygienic issues (most common), etiquette issues, or behavior issues. Now, every provider is different and we each have our varying tolerances for bullshit. That said, what one provider finds "okay", I may not and vice versa.  

 
Regarding P411, I will still reach out to the person's most recent "okays". There have been times where providers did *not* want to give a client an "okay" but were forced to by P411 management or they'd have their account terminated. Also, if it means anything, I've had to decline more requests from clients on P411 than any other platform due to many respective clients' previous bad behavior.

LMFAO.  The Hobbyists look at the Providers reviews to see if she's right for him. Why can't a Provider ask for a Reference from the other Providers that the Hobbyist has seen so that we know what we are getting?!!