This is a question to those hobbiest with SO's, and relates to Trancend2007's thread on Managing the Hobby.

Do you find yourself struggling to make yourself available, sexually, to your SO, when you are anticipating being with your ATF or a hot new date?

I find myself, though knowing my wife might be available for romance and sex, having thoughts about whether I'll be rejuvenated enough for when I see my ATF, or new date. I know this can prove deadly to our relationship if I give into not being available to her when she is wanting romance and sex.

I try to only hobby when the SO is on the rag. Sometimes there is a hot provider in town and I can't resist from seeing her. There have been days where I have been with the SO in the morning, worked out, have a 2 hour session with the provider, then have sex with the SO 3 or 4 am in the morning. I am in my mid 40's. I eat right, exercise, drink my fluids, and get my rest. The key is the exercise. I make sure that I eat a 2nd dinner before going home with some protein in it. I make chewbacca sounds driving home trying to stay awake lol.

While I have had occasions when a session with the ATF blunted my ability to perform for the SO, it hasn't worked the other way.  Actually, I find the idea of doing one, then the other, very stimulating.  

Another interesting aspect of this issue is the degree to which sexual compatibility affects performance.  I find that my ATF arouses me unlike anyone else ever has, that I'm usually able to enjoy multiple cups with her and that the wood tends to be harder with her.  Wasn't always like that, but we've sort of fine tuned things so they work that way.  And, in all candor, I often thenk of the ATF when I'm with the SO.

That is not a problem for me.  Sex with my SO is so routine and infrequent I can predict with fair accuracy when (date & time)she will be "available".  I plan my appointments accordingly and usually hobby only when my SO is out of town.

Not an issue at my house. My wife was all done about 6 years ago. (medical issues) My only physical contact now, is with the ladies I see in the hobby. It's just sometimes way too long between visits.

...what a concept!  It's been so long that I can't count the years!!

right after I came home from seeing a provider.

I think it had something to do we pheromones.

or just have sex with you thinking about the hot stud cock I had in my ass while you were banging your ATF...lol

eye for an eye...you know!

j/k

BDG

I have a new man in my life and he has NO IDEA about my life as an escort.

Yes, I do fuck with my clients, but I save the best for my SO...he can't get enough, thank God!

I have to agree with mpduration...exercise is the key to have the best sex life.

My new guy has a fantastic strong body (he works out a lot) and he takes breaks from work and come over to give me my oooooooooo's two or three times a day!

Then, he comes over before I go to sleep, to give me some more ooooooooooo's.

Stronger body makes you a better fucker!





-- Modified on 1/30/2008 5:40:38 PM

Like Turkana, I always found that my meetings with my ATF weren't affected by whether I'd had sex recently with my SO. My SO isn't overly interested in sex either and there've been a few health issues in that regard, too so my meetings with my ATF never affected whether I was able to meet my SOs romantic desires. If my hobbying affected my sex life with my SO in any way, it improved it as I learned to be a more attentive lover.

The answer is yes.  I also find that I utilize pornography a great deal less for the same reason.

Matt, it is interesting to me that you actually asked a honest, relevant, thought provoking question.  So much of the boards are filled with if you could be a tree - what kind of tree would you be type of questions.

to be intimate for over 15 years.

that it's normal, during intercourse, to fantasize about other people...it's just that I have someone in particular that I fantasize about, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to anonymously discuss the fact here on the board.  Of course it would provoke a bad reaction from my SO!  I'd feel the same way!  

But when was the last time you were in the heat of the moment and said to yourself, "Oh, I can't think about That!"  

OH!  But BDG!!! Wait!!  You've never been with me when I'm fantasizing about my ATF!  You might actually like it!

-- Modified on 1/30/2008 8:51:38 PM

Dear BackDoorGirl:
I was wondering what would you attribute to your SO's outstanding libidinal performance? Would it be his stamina and his long refractory period? Would you also say his recovery skills in between arousal and resolution? Or would it be a combination of his level of physical fitness and his experience in the game of pleasing you?  Would you also say his vast libidinal knowledge also plays a role since he is 40 years of age? It is also known that women climax exponentially more than men, would you say that you are meet and exceeding your libidinal goals at this point in time?

I've  met with someone that preferred to work themselves up and actually leave packing a loaded......never completing the first cup.  In an effort to "save the build up for the "SO".  
I know that's what viagra and the lot are for, but some like adventure, lol.

-- Modified on 1/31/2008 7:20:31 AM

I so relate to that,, had just had an outstanding double with Sweet Sarah and Jazz,2 hour love fest and knew when I got home that nite the wife would like some attention , it was all i could do to keep it hard and then having to fake my 'o'(lol),oops sorry honey , I must be tired tonite.

Thanks for your respond and input. I guess my own personal needs and my assumptions got in the way of asking the ladies for their experiences. My issue is more regarding the refractory period, because I'm 59 going on 60, though I keep in pretty good sharp doing Tai Chi. But, it was truly refreshing to get your take on the question. I don't think it well get in the way of my little soldier snaping to attention, when thinking about the lady I'm with saving herself up for her SO, later that night. Actually, my ATF has a girl friend, so thinking about that gets me going even more.

Sex with the SO is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
much more rewarding than with an SP!  I use the SP model to keep me revved for the real thing...

Sully

I do have a SO.  She is only romantically available on weekends.  I plan my entertainment mid week so I can be present mentally & physically on either occasion.