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Top five reasons I know I'm abnormal
clarence37 37 Reviews 1508 reads
posted

5. I trust Backpage.
4. I think my dick size is just fine.
3. Every provider I have ever seen has fallen in love with me (for about an hour).
2. I have never stalked a provider, as far as they know.
1. I do NOT want my escort date to dress conservatively -

   I want her DDs to bulge over the top of her low-cut blouse and threaten to leap out of the push-up bra that holds them back. Whatever fetish material (leather, vinyl, spandex, silk, or lace) makes up her skirt/shorts/pants is stretched so tightly over her perfect ass cheeks that one can make out the outline of a small mole on her hip; her stockings are incredibly sheer and heels impossibly high, and her lips are glossy and bright red like an aroused vagina. Wherever we go, I want all of the men and 95% of the women to be staring at her - not because they want to, but because they are physically unable to tear their gaze away. I want everyone in the room to know I am paying for it, and wish that they were me. I want them to be so lost in her that if I bent her over a table and nailed her doggy style then and there, not a single person could tell the police afterwards if I was circumcised or not.

Is that too much to ask?

crazyshit284 reads

So basically, this is all about you.  And that's fine, but what I get from your post is that you want this girl to basically be your arm candy and for every guy to go, "Wow, that fucking guy is a stud."

I get it.

But the flipside is that if this girl is way outta your league (and I mean that in a matter-of-fact manner, not a judgmental one), then what is more likely to happen is guys knowing you are paying for it.

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clarence37236 reads

she's definitely out of my league, no judgement there. These days the best I can do in my "league" is Woody Harrelson's landlady in "Kingpin". ("What is it about great sex that makes me need to take a crap?")

But it was pretty late when I posted this and I was in a weird mood... it is a true kind of fantasy for me, but it's not QUITE about wanting everyone to think I am a stud - I suppose they are thinking "He's either rich or hung to his knees" - but it's more about me caring less about what they are thinking and more about my own hard-on, if that makes any sense...

-- Modified on 10/7/2012 7:44:05 AM

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crazyshit202 reads

I get what you're saying.  Talk to the provider you are booking with.  I'm guesisng that most of them have no issues with being dressed to the nines and just killing it for you.

But that's something that should be discussed ahead of time.  Logistically, if a provider had something planned before your appointment and she was in the room cleaning up and getting ready, it might be difficult to pull off running downstairs, getting dressed and then having a drink in the bar with you to make all the guys drool.

And in certain hotels, that might REALLY draw some attention, so, again, talk with the provider beforehand.

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macdaddy1944245 reads

except for no#5..you sound perfectly normal to me..

Posted By: clarence37
5. I trust Backpage.
4. I think my dick size is just fine.
3. Every provider I have ever seen has fallen in love with me (for about an hour).
2. I have never stalked a provider, as far as they know.
1. I do NOT want my escort date to dress conservatively -

   I want her DDs to bulge over the top of her low-cut blouse and threaten to leap out of the push-up bra that holds them back. Whatever fetish material (leather, vinyl, spandex, silk, or lace) makes up her skirt/shorts/pants is stretched so tightly over her perfect ass cheeks that one can make out the outline of a small mole on her hip; her stockings are incredibly sheer and heels impossibly high, and her lips are glossy and bright red like an aroused vagina. Wherever we go, I want all of the men and 95% of the women to be staring at her - not because they want to, but because they are physically unable to tear their gaze away. I want everyone in the room to know I am paying for it, and wish that they were me. I want them to be so lost in her that if I bent her over a table and nailed her doggy style then and there, not a single person could tell the police afterwards if I was circumcised or not.

Is that too much to ask?

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mconnection182 reads

I agree,except for no 5, very much normal!!!

Posted By: macdaddy1944
except for no#5..you sound perfectly normal to me..
Posted By: clarence37
5. I trust Backpage.
4. I think my dick size is just fine.
3. Every provider I have ever seen has fallen in love with me (for about an hour).
2. I have never stalked a provider, as far as they know.
1. I do NOT want my escort date to dress conservatively -

   I want her DDs to bulge over the top of her low-cut blouse and threaten to leap out of the push-up bra that holds them back. Whatever fetish material (leather, vinyl, spandex, silk, or lace) makes up her skirt/shorts/pants is stretched so tightly over her perfect ass cheeks that one can make out the outline of a small mole on her hip; her stockings are incredibly sheer and heels impossibly high, and her lips are glossy and bright red like an aroused vagina. Wherever we go, I want all of the men and 95% of the women to be staring at her - not because they want to, but because they are physically unable to tear their gaze away. I want everyone in the room to know I am paying for it, and wish that they were me. I want them to be so lost in her that if I bent her over a table and nailed her doggy style then and there, not a single person could tell the police afterwards if I was circumcised or not.

Is that too much to ask?

ReplyQuoteReport
serpius190 reads

... numbers 1 to 4 for me. On occasions where it's necessary... no way to #1, if the outfit will draw undue attention to the provider.

All that other stuff you said after that little list, sounds to me that you are egotistical.
I am not that way.

Therefore, that makes me normal. Enough said.

Serpius

Posted By: clarence37
5. I trust Backpage.
4. I think my dick size is just fine.
3. Every provider I have ever seen has fallen in love with me (for about an hour).
2. I have never stalked a provider, as far as they know.
1. I do NOT want my escort date to dress conservatively -

   I want her DDs to bulge over the top of her low-cut blouse and threaten to leap out of the push-up bra that holds them back. Whatever fetish material (leather, vinyl, spandex, silk, or lace) makes up her skirt/shorts/pants is stretched so tightly over her perfect ass cheeks that one can make out the outline of a small mole on her hip; her stockings are incredibly sheer and heels impossibly high, and her lips are glossy and bright red like an aroused vagina. Wherever we go, I want all of the men and 95% of the women to be staring at her - not because they want to, but because they are physically unable to tear their gaze away. I want everyone in the room to know I am paying for it, and wish that they were me. I want them to be so lost in her that if I bent her over a table and nailed her doggy style then and there, not a single person could tell the police afterwards if I was circumcised or not.

Is that too much to ask?

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torlover201 reads

If fucking hookers makes you normal...then I guess you are normal.

That's ok...i fk them 2.

So we'ere bros

Posted By: serpius
... numbers 1 to 4 for me. On occasions where it's necessary... no way to #1, if the outfit will draw undue attention to the provider.

All that other stuff you said after that little list, sounds to me that you are egotistical.
I am not that way.

Therefore, that makes me normal. Enough said.

Serpius
Posted By: clarence37
5. I trust Backpage.
4. I think my dick size is just fine.
3. Every provider I have ever seen has fallen in love with me (for about an hour).
2. I have never stalked a provider, as far as they know.
1. I do NOT want my escort date to dress conservatively -

   I want her DDs to bulge over the top of her low-cut blouse and threaten to leap out of the push-up bra that holds them back. Whatever fetish material (leather, vinyl, spandex, silk, or lace) makes up her skirt/shorts/pants is stretched so tightly over her perfect ass cheeks that one can make out the outline of a small mole on her hip; her stockings are incredibly sheer and heels impossibly high, and her lips are glossy and bright red like an aroused vagina. Wherever we go, I want all of the men and 95% of the women to be staring at her - not because they want to, but because they are physically unable to tear their gaze away. I want everyone in the room to know I am paying for it, and wish that they were me. I want them to be so lost in her that if I bent her over a table and nailed her doggy style then and there, not a single person could tell the police afterwards if I was circumcised or not.

Is that too much to ask?

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