I recently scheduled a threesome with an ATF of mine. The session did not go smoothly for reasons I will never understand. The session first took a bad turn when two of us we were taking turns pleasuring the third. When my turn came up, I requested some oral TC. I got the oral but never the TC, so later in the session I again requested oral TC from my ATF. My request was ignored for reasons I cannot possibly fathom. Some five minutes before the end of the 1.5 hour session, I finally had my first and only pop, which was largely accomplished by self-help. I should mention that I am a healthy 40-something man and can usually manage two pops in 1.5 hours without any problem.
I didn't mention my disatisfaction at first, but after I had left the session, my ATF called to tell me that I had accidently given them $$ more than the regular donation and she would make this up to me in our next session. In subsequent communications, it came out that she had given half of the extra $ to her partner and, therefore, this was non-refundable. Also, the other half could not be applied toward a 1 hour session but could only be used for extra time. I was a little annoyed by this, so I wrote an email mentioning my unhappiness with the session. Apparently my ATF doesn't handle criticism very well because I was told that she and her friend had done their best to make me happy and if I hadn't enjoyed myself it must have been my problem and not hers. Even if she believes this is true, I cannot believe that a provider would ever say this to a regular client.
Anyway, I have no idea how to handle this situation and need some advice. I could write a review but this seems like a lose-lose proposition for me. I would probably lose one of my favorite providers, it is possible I would be flamed and called a liar by the other members of her fan club (she is extremely popular), and, as she has said to me, a bad review would have no effect on her reputation or business. So what do I do about an ATF who has always treated me wonderfully when she suddenly doesn't care whether I am happy with her services, nor does she seem to care if she loses me as a client, nor does she care about bad reviews? Possibly this is just a bad dream so I will now pinch myself and hope to wake up. Please give me some help here! Thanks.
First off, please count your money first.
Before you called her, they might have thought you have given them the $$ as a tip. That is really tacky to ask for it back, sorry.
Also, does your ATF usually do BBBJTC??? Maybe that is something she does just for you and not everyone else??
Were you pissed about the session or did she give you lousy service? It seems that you are going to write a review to make yourself feel better.
Only write the review if you feel like it is completely necessary. (She might find out that you did write it and might not see you again if you wanted to.)
My best bet is to cool off and think things through.
Just my 2 cents...Shaye
Shaye,
Thank you for your advice. To clarify a point, I did count my money. The reason I overpaid was because of a miscommunication from my provider. I was told in a voicemail that the donation was X$ for 1 hour and X+$$ for more. What my ATF had meant to say was X$ for 1.5 hours and X+2$ for 2 hours. I have never asked for the money back, so I am not being tacky. She called me to point out the mistake.
there are two sides to every story. My first reaction is that this particular provider is, or was, more special to you than you were to her. Think about it - you've paid the freight, asked for something that sounded normal and customary between you two but ya get ignored. Then the extra $$...first it's there then 1/2 is not, and there's conditions attached to how you can use the 1/2 that wasn't stolen from ya. HCE - without the other half of the story it's reasonable to conclude that she doesn't really give a shit and is in the process of cutting you loose. Dude, if what you say is true it's time to walk. If you're the type that wants "closure" (I hate that word) then go for it but, unless you completely misunderstood what happened, as well as her reaction to your protestations, I wouldn't expect much in the way sympathy or understanding at this point. And don't forget about upside: All the fun you're gonna have interviewing new ATF candidates.
-- Modified on 4/20/2003 6:29:28 PM
Couldn't agree more that closure is really what you're wrestling with. You'll never get it! You're fighting from a losing position. Write your review or not (I'd write it), call her again or not (I wouldn't), and steam over this thing or not (I wouldn't, but easy for me to say, right?) We hold the money but the girls hold ALL the cards. And a gorgeous and talented provider also holds the hypnotic power to make you call a club a spade and a duece an ace. You're not alone and that's the pain we romantic types suffer in dealing with ATFs. Seldom is it really what it seems ...
Interesting post. As mentioned above, there are two sides. I suspect your "expression of disatisfaction" may have felt harsh to your ATF. Maybe it would have been better to "ask" her why she "seemed" to ignore your request during the session, and ponder how things could be improved in the future. Too bad you all didn't communicate more. (especially important in a 3some). You could have asked them if they had a problem with TC during this kind of session.
With admittedly a small amount to go on, I get a sense that you are the kind of guy that gets very annoyed if he doesn't get his own way. You came in with a requirement for TC, which I suspect wasn't discussed upfront (so to speak), and when you didn't get it you got very unhappy. As in most cases, better communication would probably have helped if not solved the problem. I would learn from this and move on, unless you have an epiphany and can sincerely apologize to your ATF for the criticism. The bit about the accidental $$ is a side issue imo, other than perhaps as a freudian compensation for your harshness to come. Hey, I could be wrong!
-- Modified on 4/20/2003 6:18:50 PM
Both of the providers involved offer TC to all their clients including myself and it is mentioned in all of their doubles reviews...so this was a completely reasonable request on my part. I have already apologized to her about the way in which I expressed my disatisfaction. I thought perhaps she would reciprocate by offering me an apology, or at least a bit of sympathy, for the bad session, but no such luck. And please don't forget there is also the issue of the extra $$.
to her you are not all that much.
I guess I part company with the other replies just a little here. Keeping in mind that this is fantasy land, I suspect that she has made you feel damned good in the past and as such, you began feeling the ATF thing. She, on the other hand, likely has good reviews and is "extremely popular" because she makes most guys feel just the same. That's what really good providers do.
I had an ATF who was similarly very big on many boards. She and I developed a nice relationship. I couldn't imagine her treating me or anyother client like you described your treatment. She would be very concerned for your feelings regardless of her standing in the reviews. It's because of this experience that I conclude that your ATF is something less than high class. High class means caring about others regardless of their status.
She thought enought of you to date you and she gladly took your money. You are the consumer. You have a complaint. It's just good business to respond to someone she wants as a repeat customer with concern and perhaps go the extra mile. She has just told you that you don't fit in that catagory. If she had class and really didn't want to continue with you she'd offer you the $ back and then never date you again. She has chosen a lower class route, she is keeping your $ and treating you as a second rate client.
I'd write the review, and I'd post. Forget the ATF stuff and move on, but inform the masses what she is really all about.
would encourage you to post your review. Too many reviewers on this board are afraid to write a negative review on any lady let alone one with many good reviews. In some cases they are afraid that writing anything less than nines will hurt them with the lady they are reviewing and other ladies who might read their reviews. This type of attitude is making the reviews less valuable and turning TER into a great marketing tool for the ladies but less useful for the gentlemen.
Face it, this lady isn't interested in your happiness, just your wallet.
An AFT is a thing apart from a usual provider. I have an AFT and our sessions are more like dates than service points. If you don't get that feeling, then she is a usual provider for you, maybe great, but definitely NOT AFT material.
After cooling off for a few days, I realize that this was all due to an unfortunate series of miscommunications and misunderstandings (miscommunication about the time/donation, miscommunication on both sides during the session about what was expected, followed by some badly written emails by both parties where the tone was misconstrued). Because of this things became heated and yes, both people became defensive and said things they now regret, or neglected to say things that would have defused the situation. On top of this I was deluding myself with the ATF thing as most of you pointed out. So I have decided to learn what I can from the experience, let bygones be bygones and move on at least for now.
Again, my sincerest thanks to you all.