My view towards women has not changed,i still love them,they are the most awesome thing on earth,but i figure alot of the women in this business now hate or despise men more than they did...
Providers, what do you think about hobbyists in general and how has being a provider affected your view?
Hobbyists, how has this hobby affected your view on women in general? Has it changed it for better or for the worst?
I guess this depends on the type of providers you see or vice versa (type of clients providers see).
Women do this because of the money. Pure and simple. That may not be their only motivation, but until I see them start doing sessions for nothing, it's still about the money.
It's no different than me and my job. I might love my job, but if you stopped paying me, would I still go to work? Probably not. So truthfully, it's at least somewhat about the money.
Women do this because of the money (at least in some part). You can analyze this til you're blue in the face as to why, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that the money comes fast and easy (no pun intended), and that in some places (such as my locale, NYC), it comes down to some necessity.
"until I see them start doing sessions for nothing, it's still about the money."
In a way many do though. We hear stuff about "OTC" stuff all the time, which is exactly that - basically doing sessions for nothing.
My second experience with a provider was something like that, I had arranged and paid for 90 minutes but she was having such a great time she kept me there for four hours (not my idea but I was happy to go along). I didn't pay for anything extra beyond a tip, nor did she seem to expect anything and was really friendly in email after so I don't think she was expecting more. She just was having fun and for the best providers, I think it really is about fun as much as money (even though yes, at times, I'm sure they are doing things they would only do for money).
And while you might hear of the occasional freebie, OTC time isn't the same thing. But I should have been clearer on that in my post.
Bravo to you for having that experience, though. I think I have had experiences like that maybe once or twice in my 20+ years of doing this.
I didn't know what a "hobbyist" was until 3 1/2 yrs ago. Before that I thought most men were good guys (thanks my brother in law).
I used to offer legit massage, but after moving up north & being asked "do u offer extras?" & finally figuring out WHAT that meant, my outlook on men dropped drastically (or changed if you want to be nice about it).
So now, I offer what most massage connoisseurs look for.
So in my case, yes my outlook has changed, but I did believe men were & could be committed to a long term relationship.
Now my view has been altered due to some clients.
Hobbyists, how has this hobby affected your view on women in general? Has it changed it for better or for the worst?
I guess this depends on the type of providers you see or vice versa (type of clients providers see).
I sense a strong disappointment in your remarks, that your ideal of what a man is did not live up to the reality that the men seeing you wanting to have some sexual component to the massage.
I'm of the belief that getting grounded in reality is a good thing for both sexes, whatever the damage to our preconceived ideals.
Why has your view been altered? I hate guys who ruin it for the rest of us. Both parties are trying to get their needs met which has been the same thing for millennia. Nothing new.
To be honest, my view on the opposite sex has always been to treat them with respect until one of them gives me a reason not to. This POV has only helped me to enjoy my time engaging in P4P sex and this includes every genre of sex worker from strippers to street walkers to AMP girls and escorts. The vast majority of these gals are just trying to earn a living in a very hard job and treating them well is really all they want-aside from the paycheck of course.
While my view on women "in general" hasnt changed, my view of escorts has. Sadly, when I first started in this business, I was stereotypical when it came to my views on providers. I thought they would probably be lower class, less educated, street walking types. Boy, was I wrong! I have met pharmaceutical sales reps, insurance sales people, entrepreneurs, CEO's of companies, models, college and masters degree graduates, chiropractors, and in one case, an on air weather girl for a Brazilian TV news show! I have been stunned by the intelligence and education of most of the women I have seen. Amazing...
My view towards women has not changed,i still love them,they are the most awesome thing on earth,but i figure alot of the women in this business now hate or despise men more than they did...
Hobbyists, how has this hobby affected your view on women in general? Has it changed it for better or for the worst?
I guess this depends on the type of providers you see or vice versa (type of clients providers see).
How true about single moms and i was remiss for not mentioning it in my previuos post! This past year I had the fortunate pleasure of getting to know a lady who is a single mom. The father is a dead beat and to watch her go thru her life and make the sacrifices she makes for her child is amazing. The love and care she shows for her baby is so touching and awe inspiring. But she's not the only one. I have met many decent, caring moms over the years. And I have learned something about unselfishness and sacrifice from these ladies. Great point MT91151.!!!!!
I was otherwise very shy and less motivated in approaching civi girls. Now that I know the worst case scenario is still not bad at all, I got to remove my instinctive "fear" when approaching females.
In a good way that is. I made some good female friends with this confidence.
Hobbyists, how has this hobby affected your view on women in general? Has it changed it for better or for the worst?
I guess this depends on the type of providers you see or vice versa (type of clients providers see).
I have grown so much as a woman from all of the wonderful experiences that I have had over the last 4 years.
I have met some of the best people that I would have never met otherwise. This has opened me up to be a much more openminded perosn when it comes to men and women and their needs.
Some have a deep need for a friendship and companionship. Its not just all about the bottom line and that what you don't know until your in it.
This is looked down upon so harshly but I have met some of the most interesting people in this business and wouldn't take a moment of it back.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone ,thanks for reading.
April
Yes, but on how different the average TER type provider with whom I've been in contact and the average non provider. Of course, thier are so many things that all women have in common. Strike that. The Provider is obviously is closer to fewer types regarding the one with whom I've been in contact.
I'll start by saying that before this I've never been intimate with anyone so providers have been my first (and only) exposure thus far to the opposite sex. This is due to low self-esteem. Seeing providers hasn't helped in that regard. I find any compliments they give me hard to believe. Even if I keep hearing the same ones each time, but I feel it's all part of the service in which they have to at least pretend to enjoy the client's company. I'm perhaps a bit jaded in that regard and don't trust anything they have to say about me.
Because my only encounter with women have been providers and strippers, it often feels like women can be obtained if one has money. That can be applied to men as well. I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing, especially if you do have lots of money.
Since some providers have significant others who are unaware of what they do on the side, it makes me very uneasy about civvies. On the one hand it makes me wonder how I could trust anyone when they could be providing. But then I have to remember each person is different and some relationships are also very different (some are open, some are closed, etc.). And then I assume providers make a small percentage of the entire population so it's probably not as common.
Older women can be absolutely amazing even if they don't have the smooth skin of a young healthy 20 yr.
With all that said, I do see providers as human beings doing just another job. I try to talk to them and treat them with respect. After all, I have no reason to treat them in any other manner when they've done nothing to me to deserve disrespect.
Perhaps it's because I was more mature and a veteran of several relationships before I ever saw a provider but my outlook has not changed at all. As with the general population (male, female, sex workers, plumbers, etc.), my experience is that they run the full spectrum from exceptional human beings to complete and utter shits. As in my personal life, I approach anyone new with a measure of respect but caution until I know them well enough to make an informed opinion.
It's possible that a detailed study could turn up some trends in the demographics but that would require a sample size much larger than I have personally experienced. Until I see convincing data to the contrary, I tend to think of most people in pretty much the same way.
It is true that there can be cues or clues to a person's behaviour or personality in their job, the way they dress, speak or behave when you first meet them. However, be very careful with these assumptions, individuals tend to confound the stereotype surprisingly often.
After the big Divorce from the former Ms superdude I returned to hobbying to satisfy my "urges" fully expecting to find a not so good, gold digging bunch of womins.... didn't happen - met smart intelligent, kind, funny amusing women who clearly could have made it in any business - and some do! So.... you see, it improved my outlook on the opposite - and more than once I've thought if only I had met the prior to my marriage!
Being a provider and porn actress for quite a while now, I've realized that men's taste in women vary as much as women's taste in me. not all guys want the Pamela Anderson-looking blonde with big boobs, petite body and pouty lips. Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of Pamela's, I thing she's stunning and a good hearted person. She's just not what I thought she was...the standard for all men.
The beautiful thing about the hobby is that there are so many different types of women to fit the many tastes of men.