This is a new world to me- one I'd like to explore.  But I am a prominent (married) member of my community.  How can I be sure that my confidentiality will be protected?

Might want to post this on the FAQ for Newbies discussion board- also, when you click that link, look at the top for TER Instruction Manual- a wealth of info for someone getting started.

Many of us hobbiests share the same concern, so you are not alone.  While none of us want to get caught, there are many who are also "high visibility" in their community where exposure would be quite damaging.

Suggestions:
1.) Join RS2K (room service 2000) or DateCheck both of which help in reducing the info you'll have to supply to a provider in scheduling

2.) See only ladies with many reviews written by hobbiests who have done many reviews, and select ladies with 8-9's in performance.  These high quality ladies are experienced, have made this their career for now, and will be very respectful of your privacy.

3.)  Ask ladies when you see them if they will delete all info about you from their computer or files after they have verified/screened you

4.)  Don't let the verification/screening the higher quality ladies require for their safety hinder you- give them the info they desire- the ones who are playing it safe are the ones you are the safest with

5.) Evaluate yourself before starting- there are no guarantees and you are participating in illegal activity- are you up to the risk?  If not, don't play

Hope that helps (went through this myself)

Forgot my 6th and 7th suggestions -

6.)get a TracPhone or otehr pre-paid that does not have to be registered in your name to use not only for your phone number in verification with providers but also for your calls to and from.

7.) Be very careful with your computer- I hit print instead of save once where I was storing info on providers I was interested in and my wife found the page on our printer--- pretty tricky explaining my way outta that one!  Also, be sure and delete your history and tracks everytime you go on this or provider's sites- info on how in instruction manual referenced above

Being recently new myself, these were all either found in the instruction manual or suggested by the experienced members here

lol, i'm one fast talkin' devil .... time will tell whether she bought it or not.  I'll post if I suddenly get served with the infamous papers!

I would suggest that you do not carry out any activities in the city, this proved my undoing with my (now ex) wife.

She saw my car parked out in front of the hotel, when in and got the clerk to give her the room number.

I suppose you can imagine the rest.

Study up and best of luck to you.

Think it through. Make sure this is something you really want to do.
If it is, a few suggestions...
1. go through the reviews for you town.
pick a well reviewed, highly rated lady who's profile and despription fits what you like.
2. contact her and tell her about yourself, the truth,
3. let her know you are a newbie and that you have concerns.
4. be very careful regarding computer usage and phone usage, as was stated by others here.
5. TRUST the lady. If, after contacting her, you don't feel you can trust her, don't do it.
Most of these well-reviewed ladies will be very good at making you feel at ease and comfortable.
6. Make sure this is what you want to do.
Don't go through with it then throw a guilt trip on the lady and yourself.

Look, we can give you all kinds of advice and ideas, but if you are really ready to jump in, just follow thes basic guidelines and you should be ok.
Feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns you may have.

Good luck, and enjoy.

Just my opinion...
B

Most of the hobbyists here have similar concerns.  The advice above is all good.  For discretion purposes, I don't play in the city where I live.  I travel on business and make use of leisure time on the road to play.

Make sure you have a separate, confidential email account (e.g., Yahoo, Hotmail, etc) that you do hobby communications on; consider buying a go-phone (pay as you go cell phone) if calls on your cell phone are reviewed by others who might actively question them.  The other advice given here is first rate.  We all have this issue, and everyone has their own level of tolerance for risk.  Be comfortable.

Great advises given above. It does not hurt if you get a hard-ball specialty lawyer on retainer before you jump in.

roflmao......I'm sure that makes him feel better!

Make sure you know exactly why you want to explore this world otherwise it can be pretty addictive and the risk increases as your behavior becomes more compulsive.

If you're sure you want to explore, stick with well-reviewed ladies in cities other than the one you live in.

Make sure you hobby with money that won't be missed by others.

Make sure you bring at least as much back into your marriage than you take from it or suspicions will definitely arise.

Wow-  really great advice from a different perspective.  I have thought about part of it- am treating my wife better since starting, partly out of being happier, partly out of selfish adding to the layer of cover.  Have to be careful not to over-do it or she'd really be suspicious!

but you cannot ever be sure that your confidentiality will be completely protected.  I live in a large metro area... years ago one of the better providers in the region was "infested" by LE.  They came and let her continue to make appointments... and nabbed the dudes as they came to her apt....  While they arrested no one... can you imagine had they had a film crew there?  

On other occasions, I've been in the lobby of a hotel and observed dudes with cell phones - wandering around - wonder who they were talking to...

Once you are "in the hobby" as opposed to lurking - you will learn all kinds of things... I kid you not.  but certain of confidentiality?  heck, even the withdrawal of $$$-$$$$$ at random times is a giveaway.  think it through.

As a couple of the other guys mentioned, cash flow can really set off an alarm. That is a big issue for me because she sees most all the cash in - and cash out. It sucks! So I have picked up side jobs of things to do to generate cash of my own that she doesn't know about.
If you go withdrawing $$$ from the ATM when you normally don't do that she's goiing to be curious.

I sort of look at these side jobs as making money to help poor, disadvantaged females!....lol

Sort of a charity type thing!

1. Assuming you're not a celeb/ politician that the average provider will recognize or televangelist (don't know why that one came to mind) you're pretty safe. You may be the MAN in your community, active in city council, feed the poor, go to church with the wife, attend all your kids' soccer games, but to the average provider none of that is visible. IF you were Colin Feral, you'd have to worry, although I hear his lawyer is damn good at keeping his sex tapes out of the media... lol.

2. This is all about discretion. You're forgetting providers have lives too... While you may be thinking it's scary that a girl may come up to you in public or call your house, think of the girl as well... I would DIE if someone came up to me and busted me in front of my friends or family.

Do your research and have fun. The girls who get reviewed a lot with consistant high marks are not the girls who would generally pose such a risk to you.

Katie

Don't do it..
Seriously, as others here have said there is no way to be 100 percent confident that you will not be compromised in some way at some point. The hobby has some risks associated with it that are always there no matter how hard you try to minimize them. Do your research here on TER and stick with well reviewed ladies. The more careful you are about the selection process the less risk is involved but there is never no risk.  You just have to decide if you are horny enough to roll the dice.  Unlike in Vegas, the odds here are very much in your favor!

If a lady is new and not reviewed, what then?...

and it's not for newbies.

Many providers work with other more established providers (or join agencies) until they get established.

We all start out as inexperienced.  The smart ones ask for help, the others need help.

I went the agency route ... got approved and visited several of their ladies. The agencies I used were discreet and they know what they had to do to guard my privacy.

If you are in a small town, you better travel to some other city.

It seems obvious, but don't meet the lady for drinks or something like that. If you are recognizable then you will need to stay in doors so your hobbying will be limited to the incall only.

Look at the TER reviews in your area and then contact those hobbyist (via TER pm's) and get suggestions from them as to who you might see.

Good luck!

OFF

Unrelated Gratuitous Boobiage Photo

While we'd all appreciate the info, that might be another unwise move.  Good luck...and keep your head down.

So yo don't have to worry about a provider blackmailing you or anything, if that's what you mean. However, your wife with likely get suspicious and catch you.
Once a woman notices a man is satisfied and has less money, they react like a warhorse to a bugle and want to put a stop to any enjoyment you might be having (as I'm sure you know, since you're here).

Similar method to how my (now) ATF got started a few years ago.  It worked for her.

"Never in my town" is my rule #1. With the exception of one medium-sized city 40 miles away, "never in my home state" is rule #2.

I travel on business and do 95% of my hobbying on the road. Safest way to go.

Rule #3 - Never use or give your home phone.
Rule #4 - Never use your home computer or use your home email account. Make an anonymous gmail or hotmail account.
Rule #5 - Never use money your wife knows you have, or take money out of a joint account for the hobby.
Rule #6 - Only see well-reviewed, well-respected providers.

Hobby safe.

and you make a great point. That's why I stay away from Craigslist girls with no reviews. the real professionals won't take unreasonable risks and will be the most discrete.

I used to advertise on CL (cuz I'm cheap, I can admit it!) However, I am reviewed and always made sure to let it be known.

Katie

Lol, I really don't want to post it publically- probably shouldn't have even mentioned it as she knows about TER- just doesn't know my handle.  PM me if you really want to know.

Dude,

Hitting print instead of save?  While the print option got you busted sooner than later, the save option is probably MORE stupid!  If she had discovered what you had saved then you'd have been in deeper shit, b/c she'd likely have done more investigating (and uncovering the truth) before confronting you.  Consider yourself lucky, that you learned so quickly that the COMPUTER IS YOUR BIGGEST RISK!!!!  Always erase and cover tracks, and never SAVE anything (and yeah, printing is pretty stupid, too)!

True- however, despite the pretty dumb error on hitting print (the print and save buttons are right beside each other in the program I was usig)- I am quite skilled in hiding documents deeply in my computer.

Nevertheless, I've come to believe what you say and do not save anything on my home computer, and run window washer to erase tracks now!

Re: ME TOO!!

Finally....LOL

Establish patterns of ATM withdrawals.  $400 per month is my Quicken pattern, category "groceries."  Hasn't changed for many years, and since I'm the money man it doesn't flag it for scrutiny.