they belong on an upright piano.
A lady I've seen commented to me after reading some of my posts and seeing me write a review of another provider that she thought I was getting my "hobby legs". Taken the same way as a sailor getting their "sea legs", I saw it as a compliment, even if I'm not sure I'm there yet. To me, it doesn't mean blase or jaded, but with a comfort level in what you are doing and how you are doing it.
So, guys, for you, what would define or characterize getting your hobby legs? How long or after how many sessions in the hobby would you say it took you to find yours?
Some of my thoughts on things that mark or contribute to getting there:
-Realizing that I don't look horrible naked, and that it wouldn't matter anyway.
-Going to a hobby-related social event and seeing other regular-looking guys acting normally.
-Sidestepping a first whiff of "provider drama".
-Not feeling odd withdrawing money and saying "in hundreds, please".
-Asking for a referral without guilt.
I think it comes down to becoming comfortable with the process of contacting and communicating with an escort, being organized and prepared with providing information and making arrangements, presenting yourself well and being confident when knocking on the door and making a first impression, being able to forget our concerns for our appearance or physical imperfections when with the lady, being able to get past any blocks well enough to interact responsively in bed, learning how to read and respond to a lady's cues, to be able to give ourselves permission to let go and enjoy the session and writing a review that focuses on the lady, appropriately emphasizing the positives of the experience while providing information where necessary about the negatives, and is not a chest thumping what a great lay I am sort of thing.
Gregory,
That is a very good list. You happened to hit the nail on the head with a couple of them I struggle with myself. Thanks for taking the time to write that out.
To some, "more is merrier"...
-- Modified on 12/2/2008 10:51:32 AM
they belong on an upright piano.
I think you have a great handle on the situation so keep at it. I think after 3 reviews and your attitude you are well on your way. I also think Gregory’s' perspective is also right on the mark as well so if you take that into consideration as well. your in .in more then one way. lol Stay safe have fun Cheers Livie.
and I am sure that I will attain my "hobby legs".
When did TER actually start...and is their a private club for all the original members..
It would be interesting to see how many gentlemen who where here in 1999 are still around
Thanks for helping make TER what it is today one BBBJCIM at a time..
Kisses Haley
LOL, I prefer to use the words "seasoned" or "informed" to blase or jaded.
I felt comfortable with the process after two or three dates but my preferences took quite a bit longer to evolve. I used to see a new girl every time and seldom the same lady twice. Over the years I have learned that I am much happier with one or two steady regulars and perhaps a new lady in the mix here and there.
I don't do M&G's or drama. never have, never will. The teller at the drive up window knows to give me hundreds by now.
I do look horrible naked but you are right, it doesn't really matter...
I think "seasoned and informed" is the stage before "blase and jaded". Eventually I'll get to the former, and I hope to stay there as long as possible before reaching the latter.
It's not necessarily a bad thing. All things pass, and maybe that's where I am with the hobby right now. Then again, maybe it's just a phase. Who knows, maybe I'll go back to the nervous newbie phase and all this will start over...
It took me a while but I realized that I wasn't looking for pussy, I was looking for fun. If every appointment becomes a comparison to either the last lady or the "best" lady then it does become easy to start getting a bit jaded.
We are not renting a vagina for an hour (though some do see it that way) we are arranging to spend time with another living, breathing human being. Make the best of the time with a beautiful naked woman and don't sweat the details too much. Read the reviews and do the research to be sure that you are seeing the type of lady you want to see but be patient within that context. Go in with an open mind and be prepared to enjoy the time spent. Of course it won't always work out but most of the time it will.
I've been at this for about twenty years now and I can count the truly bad experiences I've had on one hand. This goes back to before there was a TER and reviews to look at. It's all about accepting whatever is on the table, enjoying the time and moving on.
-- Modified on 12/2/2008 2:10:31 PM
Suddenly I noticed that providers weren't commenting about me looking so nervous.
but that's okay. I think you eventually find that you fit in when you realize just how much you have in common with the other folks around here. For me, a few things have happened. I always was a little self-conscious about being a little older, skinny, and sort of plain looking. I went to a meet & greet, and met a whole bunch of guys who weren't that much different than me, just regular guys, not the Adonises I had envisioned. I started getting an occasional PM from someone who was thanking me for some advice I had given on one of their posts. And finally, the real kicker is when you get your first PM from a lady that you have never met, just because she found you interesting, or appreciated your twisted sense of humor. That one still makes me smile for hours.
I get nervous every time I contact a new lady, whether by email or by phone. It's almost like the "thrill of the chase" feeling I got in high school. Just the thought of being able to meet another beautiful lady gets the butterflies churning.
I also still get nervous when the meeting time actually arrives. Part of it is the same as above and part of it is the risk potential. I hope I never lose that because I think it helps me stay alert and keenly aware of my responsibilites as to discretion and safety.
It's okay -- I get butterflies too! 
Hobby legs? What an interesting post. It takes time. You stop reviewing every escort but spend time on the ones that are truly exceptional. I have found that as I round the corner in age and my years in the hobby, I start giving advice to the providers (you do not need so much make up when they ask how they look (in other words, yes, you are lovely!), relax, maybe you need something to eat?) and yes, you learn to see and listen to cues from the provider.
But I would not hae hobby legs if it were not for some incredible providers so many years ago (some still in the business!) that taught me the higher standards of the hobby. Sessions beyond the hour, impromptu dinners and an email to see how I was and being able to respond without feeling like a stalker. An experienced provider will know you are at ease and to be trusted. Just stay at it and have fun. THe rest will just unfold.
being confident enough with the lady to take control and let her know what you want.
Being confident enough with the lady to make sure she gets as much, or more, pleasure than you.
Being confident enough to make her totally comfortable.
you are comfortable with the process including first contact, setting the date, preparing for the date, the knock on the door, and then the fun.
I know I started out with mostly one-hour dates but have graduated to multi-hour dates, includeing a few dinner dates. I still see most new ladies for only 1 hour on the first date to be sure of some chemistry. Also, I tend to see more MILF's now than I did in the beginning. Nothing wrong with a hot 20-something but a lot of times the younger ladies don't bring the full GFE package.
I've been to 4 M & G's (co-hosted two of them) and have found them to be a good way to meet ladies without having to commit to a normal rate; kind of like window shopping. I have seen many ladies since the M & G where we met.
Give the hobby time and you will become a veteran with mega success.
Thanks for all the great replies, folks!
A lot of good ideas and thoughts to consider.