Isn't this where we can push our limits? Situations we'd like to and could only explore in this arena. That which those in traditional (less risky/erotic?) sexual relationships seek.
I've pushed my limits and learned what I like as opposed to what I wouldn't explore prior wit other partners/SOs.
I recently had a 2nd date with a provider was much steamier than on our first date. Comfort levels expanded and boundaries diminished.
How do you expand your boundaries? What have you learned new within the hobby? Do you respect boundaries when your partner has limits? When do you allow him/her to cross yours? Ever?
I'm interested go hear your thoughts. I'm really a rather vanilla guy, BUT with the right partner ... let's say I can be very chameleon like
I know what I like and have explored over many years to know what I don't like and what I would try again. In this arena, I tend to get mostly vanilla guys who don't wish their boundaries pushed (at least not by me, or not that they've shared). Which is fine by me. I am willing to explore on a case-by-case basis here. But in my personal life, I think I tend to be more willing to explore beyond vanilla (as a matter of fact, most of my non-vanilla exploration happened way before I came to this arena). I'm also willing to explore more (and have) with men in this arena with whom I've developed a deeper connection- be it chemistry, friendship, or something more faceted.
But I was just thinking about this and realized my vanilla may not be that vanilla after all. Hmmm...
i like to give my lady friends a safe word, even though i'm not the kind of guy who would usually push a boundary. rarely has a lady had to use it.
in terms of my own boundaries, i have become more confident as a lover, though i still have a long way to go. as a young man i was literally frightened of women (way beyond shy into pathological), and the lovely women that i have seen in the hobby have helped me become comfortable with my own sexuality and ability to find and express my own desires and the desires of my partner.
haven't seen a ts, nor have i looked for domination or bondassage or that such, but i would be open to it within the context of the hobby if i met the right person. however i'm having so much fun with straight ladies i don't know if i ever will have the inclination, time or esp. $$$ to wander that far afield.
i have recently gone over a personal boundary; before my wife left me i always insisted on covered bj's; now i figured what the hay i got nothing to lose, so as of a few months ago it's been nothing buy bbbj (with lots and lots of cim) for me, something i had never done in the previous 9 years of hobbying. i know that's probably pretty weak sauce compared to the rest of you, but it is a boundary i willingly crossed.
i know what we do is considered by most of society to be immoral and depraved; i have used it for personal growth.
Respecting boundaries is essential. While I'm "vanilla" relative to some I have experienced boundary expansion so to speak. I have had session where I was sensually dominated by a sweet lady and enjoyed it much. It was not the stereotypical Dom session but a lighter approach. I also have done a bondassage session with mixed results.
the car. You can ask her if she knows where we're going but if she says she's driving and we're going her way ... well for me, that's perfectly fine. I already know I'm gonna enjoy the ride.
Posted By: mrfisher
It pays to be very clear what she allows and doesn't allow, and if unsure, just ask.
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