How many of the hobbyist out there....only have the opportunity for sex....with no one,except a provider?....And why?

I have never had sex with a civvie.  Any other sex has always been with providers.

It is not for lack of wanting, but I just do not have the ability to bed civvie women.  

Even in college, I was the dreaded "friend", not the one that the woman wanted to spend the night with.

Just once I wish a civvie woman would want to get with me, but that will probably never happen...

Maybe it's not 'only have the opportunity for sex with no one, except a provider'

Maybe it's not worth the hassle of going through the:

Sneaking around
Having to make excuses for being out at strange hours
Dreading hearing your cell phone ring when you're not expecting any calls
Moodyness (hey I've got that at home)
Spending about the same money on wining, dining, gifts, etc.
Risk of getting too attached by either you or her

To try to score in the civie world


As a guy who tried it that way, the Hobby is much better!! No strings, No Bullshit, and best of all access to Hot women that wouldn't even look at you in the civie world.

After a couple of surgeries on her lady parts, my wife came home from the doctor one day, and announced (half jokingly) that the doctor said I was going to have to find a girlfriend. Well, I can come up with enough other ways to fuck up my life without that sort of involvement. I told her that if I got that horny, I'd find myself an escort.

After 3-1/2 years with no sex at home, I decided to see about the wonderful world of escorts. I found a terrific lady in Buffalo, and have seen several ladies since. I'm not a once-a-week hobbyist. Sometimes I'll go for a few months between visits. When I travel, I try to see a couple of ladies on each trip. That's what has worked very nicely for me for the past three years.

I don't go to bars, and I don't need the problems that an affair might bring, so with all the wonderful ladies I've met so far, I guess I'll keep doing what I'm doing.

I hear you, bro. Glad to know I'm not the only one in this boat!

Only sex with providers. In the real world,
these types of women, thin and pretty, reject
me every time I try. This hobby is great because
get to have sex with women who wouldn't give
me the time of day in the civvie world.

Well, I get the urge for the thrill of the chase now and then. I'm still reasonably well preserved and somewhat distinguished looking, so if I put my mind to it, I can score a nice looking civvie pretty often. But it is very very rare to find a civvie that has the grooming and sexual skills of a good provider (not talking assembly line CL special here). It's rare in my experience to find a thirty something civvie (my target age group) wiht a nicely shaved coochie. The civvies also tend to come with some kind of drama or another, for which I have little tolerance. And in my experience civvies are a higher STD risk. So I do civvies now and then, but am happier 95% of the time with a high quality provider. If I'm in the mood and do not have anything interesting lined up, or if I'm in the mood to do some clubbing anyway, I'll definitely take a good look at what's available. Of course every now and then I find a highly sexed lady who is unhappy at home or better yet angry at hubby - lotsa energy there....  whole other category - Strippers! Attractive, well groomed, usually sexually adept, sometimes lotsa drama, but not often hard to score.  There is a little bit of the thrill of the chase  and the costs, at the end of the day, run about the same as with a high level pro... but strippers are an interesting diversion...

I'm exclusively provider only now.  That was not always the case.  Wife and I stopped having sex due to medical issues bout 4 years ago.  I've had a couple of affairs at work that were near disasters complete with screaming matches and telephone harassment.

I wish I could do this once a week but my budget is once a month or less.  I enjoy sexy good looking women without and their are no hassles once the time is up.  I really like it when I see my ATF after a long absence, we both pretend likel we are passionate lovers reunited.  Great stuff.

I'm about 25% civies and 75% providers.

I first had sex with a living female human being when I was thirteen; it has been my obsession ever since.  I have been lucky to have been married twice, had a series of girl friends, had and have friends with benefits, met some exceptional providers, had occasional one night stands, and once in a while, like now, have a special obsession which causes me to take a break in my other activities. It never interferes with my work or life and makes me very happy. Intimacy with women makes me very happy.

Let me preface my reply saying I am far from a ladies man. Every provider I have seen would confirm that I have always been fairly shy with women. However I have to say I got laid quite a bit in my college days. I always attracted a certain, quirky, counter culture type of woman. They pursued me and I relented
Again I must emphasize that in the scheme of things I was not very popular with women but I  never went very long without getting laid.

That pattern continued except the length of time
between getting laid increased as I got older. I never really had a problem having a girlfriend however if I really wanted one.

So finally my point. I only have sex with providers because that is what I choose to do. Usually there is less drama and its alot of fun. Plus I have proven I am not exactly a role model for relationships with two failed marriages. So I enjoy my life and dating providers is really quite a thrill for me. It meets my intimacy needs quite well.

-- Modified on 9/30/2008 5:47:20 PM

cut off at home for about 10 years now.  Got to get some pleasure somewhere.  No time for an affair nor do I want the drama associated with an affair.

Thanks for all of the replies!....As for myself,
i wouldn't have much trouble finding a civee for
sex...BUT,trying to find one as gorgeous,as most of the providers out there..(NOT)...Plus no BS to put up with!....It's actually pretty thrilling
to know,for a few greenbacks,we can have sex with some of the most beautiful women on the planet!....Hallelujah!!!!!!

Sounds like my story.

In baseball terms I’d hit some doubles and there was a triple two times but never a home run. There’s just something about me that the ladies were always friendly and I had lots of dates but rarely got past second base.

No way I’d ever have an affair with a civie. Just way too much drama, baggage and risk and why would things be any different now than in my pre marriage dating life?  

With the hobby I’ve finally gotten to hit home runs with the girls who would date me but sleep with someone else. Trust me we’d often talk all about it since I was their “friend”.
I only hobby when I travel no need to risk things at home and I only use highly rated providers. For me it’s not about the quantity but the quality.

Not being intimate with my SO. I Need that passionate connection. I hear it all the time from the Gentlemen I see,and I know I couldn't live like that.  Its also not fair of these woman to expect their partners to go without just because it is their choice to do so.
I know there are medical reasons for this and aging and so on, yet what of the Passion?  Passion is one aspect age or physical limitations has no bearing on. Why does that change? I can not imagine my life absent of Passion Intimacy and Sensual moments in the arms of my Lover. I find it all so very sad for both you Gentlemen who live this and your SO also who is undoubtably missing out on such wonderful moments as well.

Right now I have the best situation I have ever had.  I'm paying for it.  I was married for a number of years to a very physicall attractive women, who was geneorus in bed.  However there was so much extra other baggabe going on that it was not worth it.  What ever sex I had with her I payed for one way or another.  There is not sex that is free.  Any way I finally unloaded her, and I was an am still have no desire to have a relationship.  I have a high sex drive like all of us here, and I started seeing a few provders very regurally.  I wasn't happy with the effort I had to put into setting up an appointment, having it cancled, rescheduling, going to see them etc.
In my spare time I have been helping this long term neighboor who is a younger single mom.  I've done a lot of stuff for her like fixing her appliances, and her house cause she has no money, and is nice to look at and be around.  I've long dreamed of boneing her.  She kept saying over and over that she wished she had some way to repay me.  I got tired of hearing it and said that well there is one way.  I'd really really like to sleep with you.  No strings.  She was taken aback, but said OK, and we did.   From that point I made other arrangements to help her financially in exchange for sex.  I pay on a monthly basis, and we have no formal limit oh how often how long, etc.  I get it about 3 times a week.  I like this cause it is the most honest relationship I have had, and she likes that the extra income, and she is having sex with someone who she likes and trust, and does not have to spread herself around.  She has been very gracious about making her self available, and making sure that I am satisfied.  I don;t know how long this will last, but it's great for now.

are not necessarily the same thing. Yes, it is unfortunate that my wife and I no longer can have sex, but that doesn't mean that we love one another any less. We are still very much in love, but our passion is just channelled differently now. We still take the same walks on the beach, holding hands. We still go for walks in the woods. We still kiss each other good night and mean it. We still do everything except have sex. It's very hard to explain, but there is still passion there. It's just different.

And, if you asked her if she knows about my extra-cirricular activities, she woud probably tell you that she does. It simply isn't something we talk about.

I can't say that I don't have the opportunity to have sex with no one other than a provider. I choose not to. Why, because ladies in my age group (older) are not looking for casual sex. They want commitment before hitting the sheets. I have been there, done that and am not interested in trying it again.

I agree there can be Passion in a relationship without sex, but for me I want that aspect of the relationship as well. I crave it.
I am very happy for you that you still have intimacy with your wife, its so precious in a relationship.

Great post...

my situation is similar but also different.  No surgeries on her part, but after thr kids, she just announced "I no longer have the urge any more"... and after a while, I conceded.  At first I thought it was me, but after hitting the gym, dropping 40 lbs... and having her friends start hitting on me... I realized it wasn't me.

Wish we still had the other aspects of intimacy, but she just avoids it... maybe thinking I always expect sex if we start.  Not true...but I do love sex, and not willing to give it up...

She asked me to quit smoking... and I did.  Was the hardest thing ever and took over a year... many failed attempts.

Can't give up my libido... never ever... or so I hope not!

Tell her to read Dr Laura's book on the "Proper Care And Feeding of Husbands"....if she doesn't wise up....then she had better prepare herself for you going else where for sex....as you should!.....Your only human!