I had the good fortune of meeting a lady new to the providing game about 10 years ago. She was going through a divorce and being outspent by her husband, who hired two attorneys to ruin her life, when we all know it only takes one.
As a result, she finds herself turning to escorting to make some money. Even though she's been doing the wifey thing for about 8 years, she's a honest to goodness 10 (she used to get invited to the Playboy mansion parties etc.). But I'll call her a 9 since most people would think I'm exaggerating. I, on the other hand, am a fraction of a 9, perhaps a 9 turned upside down.
So it turns out I'm one of the first 3 or 4 guys she's seen as an escort and we only live a mile apart. One thing leads to another, and we become friends with benefits for the next 5 years. Here's where the problem is- she spent her married life fucking like a pissed-off wife, and she really didn't have the skills needed by a provider. Add to that, like many other super hot women, she (sadly) didn't see the need to develop her skills. After all, guys were almost ready to cum just looking at her beautiful face and figure, so where's the incentive?
My mistake was I became one of those guys. At first I paid her for her bad performance in bed and was happy to be with such a beautiful woman. Then I tolerated it when we became friends with benefits, and all of it was the worst sex of my life. What I would suggest instead, is that each time you see her, you casually mention one (and only one) thing that you really like when someone does it to you. It doesn't have to be anything more than "You know, one of my favorite things is when someone does it like this..."
It will require patience and investment in time because it will take time for her to change her ways. But if you think she's worth it, and she's not totally indifferent, I'd give it a try. When I was younger, I taught several women how to give both BJ's and HJ's and they were always willing to please. One thing I know for certain, however, is if you do nothing, you'll have a lot more uninspired sex. And based on my experience, that's no fun, no matter how beautiful she is or how much you like her.
So the mangina acid test is simple- A real man will always take action to improve his situation, whereas a mangina will just be thankful to be with such an attractive lady. I failed the mangina test, but I'm confident you can do better.
Both my Exs fall in the category which you described, i.e, pissed off gorgeous house wives with lackluster sexual desire and performance (toward me anyway*, LOL) and unfortunately I was initially conditioned to be more accepting of the "uninspired" provider sex. Well, no more! I don't care as to how hot the provider may be, but if she is unable to deliver a very inspired performance both sexually and sensually, I would say arriverderci and many happy trails. Next!!!....
P.S. * any woman who says to you, "Honey I'm just not into sex and do not feel like it" must add these two words at the end of her sentence: "WITH YOU" It will keep matters honest and on the level 
Some of the hottest Providers I've had the pleasure of their company have not been the most "inspired." It's great when you find both, but it's P4P, and delivery counts.
She was just clueless. She was animated but she didn't use her tongue at all during the BJ and her lips never got all the way to the top of my shaft, so she didn't stimulate head of my dick at all during oral. She was still enthusiastic though. She didn't know how to handle my large bulk during full service, but it was plain she was trying. She didn't lose points for lack of desire. It was almost like I was doing a virgin and I can be difficult do to health issues that affect my erection.
I've not had bad sex with providers, but in civie life the absolute worst sex was with the prettiest women. Sorry, but tis true.
Of course, in civie life they were pretty shocked to have me tell them they were bad in bed so that didn't always work out well. Later I learned to be a bit more subtle.
Either way -- by all means, let her know. Bring her one of those books on how to give blow jobs.
I will take your suggestion adding one thing at a time. The only problem is I am only allowed to repeat with a provider once every two months as per the agreement with my wife. It would take forever to get anywhere.
This is funny. I have seen two providers who are absolute sexpots. The problem is that when they do BBBJ they just cannot help but bite the shit out of me. I have tried to warn, coach, caution, etc but they just cannot give blowjobs. I have stopped seeing them because of it. The last time I saw one of the I was sore for a week.
If there is enough connection between the two people, the experience can be transcendent even if nothing more than some minimal physical contact is made.
You yourself say that it was one of the best experiences you have had, so take joy in that.
In time, you two can begin in explore and find ways to improve the performance, but rejoice in the human connection you have now.
The former can always be improved, but the latter either is, or isn't, and is rare besides.
I can relate. I don't really like having to instruct someone either. But, you say: "I am lacking skills and confidence in the bedroom area myself and have a hard time giving instructions on sex." Here's your chance to learn, in just the right environment to do so! 'Do you want to?' is the question.
