Back in the day when I first started hobbying - about 2 years ago - I unknowingly made some mistakes with some of my local area's more esteemed providers. I now recognize some of the events as being problematic. Chalk them up to newbie inexperience. Anyway, one of these providers wouldn't see me without 2 references. I did, then when I reapproached her, she said she wasn't taking new clients. The 'ol bait and switch. Another, I got newbie cold feet, and cancelled - without knowing one had a 48 hour cancellation policy after I appointed the day before. She told me she would spread my name around to other providers if I didn't make good on the appointment fee. But, she assured me she would see me if I paid her cancellation fee thru GreenDot, which I did, but then she ironically never had availability when I did. Classic circle jerk tactics. Yet again, the ol bait and switch.
I have let time pass and re-approached these ladies, always being civil and respectful, and they won't even reply.
As I do not live in a major metropolitan area, shall we say, we do not boast an overflowing of outstanding options; the more desirable providers are highly sought after - and they can pick and choose. The other day, I came across another provider on another board - one who I had never heard of before, who had reviews, etc - and she suited me. I sent her an introductory email, then received an automated email asking for screening information. She requested no references. I complied, then got a nice email from the lady saying she wasn't taking new clients. Maybe sometime in the future.
Now, I know we're in a recession and I know the ladies are feeling it too. So, while I may have been born in the middle of the night, I wasn't born last night. And I'm a bit confused why if a lady wasn't taking new clients she would have her profile visible on an escort board?
So, I'm thinking (duh) I'm on a closely knit local provider's inner circle "do not see" list. I've been here on TER for all of those 2 years, have references, and white list referrals; but, unless I'm mistaken, I'm being black listed within an small inner sanctum.
Apart from the obvious option of just sucking it up and continuing to look for travelers or traveling myself (which is not always easy to do), does anybody have any recommendation as regards how one might redeem oneself? The most recent lady in question I have not replied. I realize that becoming confrontational only further seals my fate, unless I'm just being paranoid.
Suggestions?
P2
you will never really know, or get a true answer till you post under your real handle, and see,
take the chance, as anyone reading this post would be curious to see what happened
Not sure why you would think the first situation is a bait & switch. By the time you got the two references she requires, she was no longer taking new clients. How is that a bait & switch.
Also, just because you may meet a ladies requirements, doesn't mean she is obligated to see you. yes, we can pick and choose if we so desire. For any reason. I have had gents meet all the requirements, yet they gave me a heeby jeeby feeling. If I'm not 100% comfortable, do I not have the right to decline an appt?
There are plenty of providers out there, just move on.
Also, it's difficult to take down ads in some escort boards. I stopped seeing new clients last month, for example, but I still had an ad up on Eros-Guide, simply because (to the best of my knowledge -- there may be a trick I don't know about) you can't "stop and restart" your ads at will. I might as well let the contract run out if I planned on seeing new clients again.
Some ads may be posted without the provider's knowledge, or she may have simply forgotten that it was there.
Always go by the policies on the website, and accept them at face value, no matter what the ads or reviews say.
Even if she were seeing new clients, but, for whatever reason, just didn't want to see you, you should always respect that and move on. No, it's not the best excuse in the world, but bugging them about it isn't going to win you points.
I would consider it bait and switch because, IMHO, telling me to go get 2 references was a way of putting me off, because, IMHO, she had predetermined she had no intention of seeing me. Then, when I had gotten the references, she said she wasn't taking new clients. Now, mind you, I continue to see new ads popping up from time to time on various boards making available her services.
I don't know what you would call it, but I call that bait and switch.
You know I think providers don't necessarily like telling any prospective client they don't want to see them because of some vibe they perceive. And so, the course of least resistance is to say "I'm not taking new clients". It doesn't piss folks off - it's good pr. I just wish that if for some reason I gave somebody the heebee jeebees, they'd just say, hey dude you give me the heebee jeebees, please do not contact me again - instead of engaging in trying to pass it off and then black listing the gent.
Again, I'm not really sure if I've even been black listed. I'm a really nice guy, (very) well educated, nice looking, funny, and successful. I just made a newbie mistake. Why pin me to the freakin' cross?
Thank you for your reply Cecilia. But it escapes me why posting with an alias has anything to do with anything? But since you asked, here I am.
DC
While your plight seems to sound convincing and you have obviously taken the time to add sincerity to the post as an established provider I'll just share a few thoughts with you:
First in regards to your statement (*or question-- whichever you had tried to make it*)-
....."I'm a bit confused why if a lady wasn't taking new clients she would have her profile visible on an escort board?"....
I have a personal answer to that one... you see, I am active on TER when I have the ability to access the site..-and.. I have an active profile on TER. I am not however, accepting NEW clients or meeting with any new friends. Why you asked- because many of the gentlemen who spend time with me have taken my suggestions seriously and do not keep information that will connect or associate themselves with me anywhere that could be traced or discovered by another person. These gentlemen know there are a few places they can check and will be assured they have an avenue to contact me through-
Next, in regards to your accidental spot on a NCNS or black list- there is yet a simple and easy resolution to that. If you did indeed cancel on a provider or just were a NCNS then I am certain you could contact her to arrange partial payment of her suggested gift donation or make other arrangements. It is doubtful she would entrust you with additional time that she could be gaining income, do I doubt you will ever get another appointment with her. On a positive note- with the economy in the US being as challenged as it is there are numerous providers who are feeling a pinch and I am sure you will find one of those willing to overlook your NCNS status and take a chance at booking with you- I've had stories relayed to me of providers who are getting to be what some would consider to be desperate and would take just about anything they can get. So, time, the economy and the odds could be running in your favor now.
It would actually help many providers if you re-posted your situation on the Newbies board as men could then possibly understand that some providers- especially established provider do network and a NCNS can many times be the end to a "hobbying career"
As an added note- trying to manipulate the system by changing your screen name probably wouldn't help much because most providers actually have specifics they use to screen new clients with and unless you have completely changed your profession and have stability with a new company it's doubtful a new screen name would change your dilemma- unless you changed your legal and professional name at the same time. I'd suggest a better route would be to reconnect with the provider who had the original issue with you being so disrespectful of her time and having such little regard for her livelihood. Once you straighten out this problem then you could start building solid provider references. -Or- you could just plan to spend time with providers who don't practice such caution and roll the dice with your chances of further having problems with LE or family drama as a result of the careless manner in which the hobbying was practiced.
Best wishes in finding what you seek- I wish others took your message to heart- ~T
lol! This raises another question - which I have previously asked in other context...es..
And that is, ok, your dance card is indeed full, you have enough clients for your financial purposes, but if in the web sites you frequent, one of the male posters gets your attention, would you, if asked, agree to see that new "Friend" as a client? becuase you are curious about him....
I do know, that I have met certain ladies simply because of their personality - and oddly enough, I've seen all of those ladies more than once... just wonder if it works in reverse...
This is another way of asking... "Is this a hobby for you too?"
ok I can agree to some extent with both sides here. I think a 48 hour cancellation policy is retarded. That woman must not have kids or any kind of life outside of hooking. Life happens whether we want to or not. I'd be broke if I put ppl on the dns list because they canceled the day before. Then again if the guy is BK who cancelled 5 minutes after the appt was scheduled to begin, that's different. Anyway, that greendot bs pisses me right OFF. I mean wouldn't hooker life be so great if all guys would send us green dot refill cards (easy way to hide funds from the MAN). What a nice insurance policy. Those guys who lose their nerve would HAVE to show up or NO SOUP FOR YOU! lol So, if that clown had you send her green dot cash and then she reneged FAHK HER. That is poor business practice and if I were a man I'd toss her name all over the guys board. Soooooo, you've made a few mistakes. You need to partake in my class "man whore 101". This class will teach you EVERYTHING you need to know.The info in my class includes "do not eat onions before you see your provider", "how to prevent smelly balls by using soap and water", "the bennies using a toothbrush 3 times per day", "do not use MY MOTHER HAS ANEURYSM as your cancellation excuse", and "GFE does not mean you lay on your fat lazy ass and dictate policy with your socks on"!!!!! For those whom are now laughing, that means these things do not apply to you. For that, I TYVM. 
For those who take offense, SMAHTEN UP! That DNS list is growing daily and it isn't just for jerks.
I really take offense at that statement....
I wanted to be a manwhore... and much as Joe Buck did, I took my old girlfriends cries of "you're the best" to mean that I could make it as a man whore... well, I was gonna charge $1000 an hour... I mean a 5'6" 250lb hair challenged dude who bathes at least twice a week, and when seeing a lady always wears his dentures... is always sure to have the yellow in front with the skids in back... is soooo much better than anything else out there...
Well, after no clients (I did advertise on CL, so maybe that was the problem)... in over a year, I lowered my price to what the ladies in my area get - $$$.... well, that too, netted me no clients... so I lowered the price again to the bargin of $$1/2.... still no takers... it was then that my foot fungus spread so I figured I would go for it with a $ fee for the full package of 90 min.... with no takers....
Finally when I went to $10.... I got a call, but it was another dude.... what does he think I am........ I do have some limits.....
ok,ok, so now I pay.... and I cannot figure it out... these ladies tell me "you're the best" but they won't even lower their prices....
So, what am I doing wrong??????? I just don't understand....
Bwahahahahahaha!!!! perhaps your Manwhore 101 class is for me....?
I agree haveacup - I think a 48 hour cancellation policy is fine IF you tell people about it. Furthermore in this instance, I made the appt about 18 hours prior to the appointment - then cancelled the next am. I thought that was the most compelling piece of bs.
Then she blacklisted me.
