DON'T UNDRESS PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.
DON'T TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks fist.
DON'T GO TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
DON'T GO TOO HARD. If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
DON'T COME TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
COME SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
DON'T ASK IF SHE HAS COME. Equate this with her asking: "Is it in?" You usually will be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask right there on the spot, the first time. Bring it up later, as part of your normal couple communication.
DON'T PERFORM ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
DON'T NUDGE HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
WARN HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.
DON'T MOVE AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.
ABOUT PENIS HYGIENE. Boys should be taught how to wash daily underneath the penis foreskin. If your parents "forgot" about it, you may be sexually challenged by an awkwardly foul-smelling penis. Worry no more! Get in the shower and follow these instructions:
Gently pull the foreskin back away from the head of the penis;
Rinse the head of the penis and inside fold of the foreskin with soap and warm water;
Use your finger to remove any deposits from the fold;
Pull the foreskin back over the head of the penis.
DON'T TAKE ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
DON'T MAKE HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
DON'T ATTEMPT ANAL SEX AND PRETEND IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
ABOUT TAKING PICTURES. When a man says "Can I take a photo of you?", she'll hear the words "...to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
BE IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; a bath or shower with a richly perfumed soap won't be forgotten; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
DON'T SLAP YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
DON'T ARRANGE HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
DON'T LOOK FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't have one. Some women do enjoy anal sex. Just don't take it for granted.
DON'T GIVE LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
DON'T BARK INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
ABOUT TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know
DO CARE ABOUT WHETHER SHE COMES. You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
DON'T SQUASH HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.
DON'T THANK HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen. If you really want to show her how meaningful she is to you, try kissing her tenderly, all over, instead of falling asleep like a bear.
ABOUT BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't good.
..eom...