My own personal take is that for the last 30 or so years of my life, I have not    questioned who or what someone wants to be thought as.  If you want to be viewed as a woman, I cannot say that I can relate to or understand why, but I will always respect  a person's wishes.  

I remember seeing some post operational transgender women when I was a teen in Australia. They were, at that time, the most beautiful women I had ever seen. Some of my friends were quite mean about them, I just thought they were the most stunning women.  I accepted them, and I was very turned on by seeing them. That is very telling in me. I don't get sexually aroused by men. And I'm not sure if I get turned on by pre-op transgender women. But, I'm not adverse to finding out.  

It must be very difficult to live in this world as a transgender woman or man. but, i'm sure there is a lot of joy to be had too.
Like any changes in culture, it can take generations for acceptance to occur for the majority of humans.

Hope you are loving your life.

As to disclosure. I think it is only fair to disclose if physical intimacy is going to happen. Everyone should be aware of who they are choosing to be with. As should you.

-- Modified on 1/25/2018 10:05:52 PM

Disclosure: I am heterosexual. I'm not the least bit curious, not 1%. If I someday met a trans provider I'd be angry at the deception, but I'd probably get over it.  

 
I get homosexuality. Maybe because the thought of two women is a turn on, so why not two men...

 
I just don't get transexuality. I'm not judging, I really just don't get it. I think it's as simple as that. A male has an x and a y. A female has xx. By that test, you are a male. What makes a man a man and a woman a woman? I dunno, but even if you think you know the answer, some will disagree. Some violently, and for that reason, you should disclose.

My Two Cents.

Yes, gender (the way women and men are “suppose” to act, dress, carry themselves, etc, etc. in a given culture) /is/ a social construct separate from biology (though it certainly is informed by biology; men and women /are/ neurologically different in a lot of ways).

My own personal opinion is that until the successful advent of genetic surgery (which may or may not happen in our lifetime), TG/TS individuals are as those terms imply; a person of one biological sex (a scientific fact) who wants to be identified as another gender (a social concept)... whether after conventional, sexual reassignment surgery or not.

Personally, it doesn’t bother me - I wouldn’t mind being friends with a TG/TS individual; I’m sure that it would be novel at first, but after a while they’d just be another buddy.

Honestly, if someone isn’t breaking any (reasonable) laws or violating someone else’s rights, then they should be able to live their lives as they choose (and yes, choice has only so much to do with this).  And certainly, NO ONE should be attacked or assaulted because of who they are.  But if you want me to respect your beliefs and/or lifestyle, then respect mine; trying to force me to change my speech patterns or my world view to suit yours will quickly turn me adversarial.  

But anyway, I’m not interested in meeting any TS individuals within the context of this Hobby, and I would certainly not look kindly on any sort of “surprise” (and I suspect that most Clients would feel the same way).

So, for the sake of practicality, I say disclose.  

Edited for grammar and typo (again and again and again) 🧐

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First, to micktoz who said, "I remember seeing some post operational transgender women when I was a teen in Australia. They were, at that time, the most beautiful women I had ever seen." There are plenty of on-line slide show quizzes, "Real (xx) F or Fake (xy) F?" often with a bunch of Thai beauties. Forget it guys: when glamoured up, it is impossible to tell and, like micktoz said, some of the fakes are more beautiful than the reals!!!
.
Sasha said:

I don’t know if it will make you feel any better, but I think it was a hoax. There are a lot of hateful acts and speech that do happen, but it seems like the ones that go viral end up being hoaxes. It could have been a transsexual or transvestite who figured that there would be extremely little talk of Tgis revolving the March Coverage, but this sign might generate some.  Or it could be a person against the Women’s March in generageneral who knew the sign would further drive a wedge in a movement already stretched at many intersectional lines.

I’ve read pieces about TG acceptance that are critical of men who are turned on by women with penises.  It went along the lines that those types of men aren’t valuing the women, they are valuing the boobs/cock combination, with an emphasis on the cock.

All this has to be so difficult for you to deal with.  It’s so trite to just advice “don’t forget that you’re beautiful on the inside”. There’s got to be more. Meditation, therapy, growing into your womanhood.

I looked at your TER profile and site

And from what I can see, you’re very pretty; I would have never known from just the photos that you’re TS.  Hmm... that /does/ beg the question: if I can’t tell, then what’s the difference?

"Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. Symbolising the elements that create truth and beauty." - Mister Spock.  Just because those words were spoken by a fictional character doesn’t make them any less true.

But anyway, I wish you all the luck and piece of mind in the world.  May your all questions be answered and may all your doubts be assuaged.

Live long and prosper Sasha.

... ... re with whom I wish to be intimate.  I can't just put that aside in this discussion.  Everyone has his/her own preferences.  But rather than my telling you what I consider you to be, other than a person and thus deserving of kindness and respect, I'd rather you tell me how you want to be considered.    

I think that people are evolving beyond the point when being transgender or any other gender or sexual preference is considered a "sin", but it's clear we have a long way to go.  But I'll leave you with the thought that if we don't get there in my lifetime, we'll likely get there in yours.

especially since the subject is of more than intellectual curiosity for you.   And secondly kudos to all those who have posted so far for making useful contributions.

 
This subject has, in fact, come up on the boards from time to time, and (fortunately) been treated seriously by almost all who contributed.

 
I am in general agreement with what's been said, I only want to contribute my own experience in the matter.

 
Some years ago, I decided to see a post-op TS, but the session was a disaster as I could not perform at all, even though the woman was gorgeous, and we had exhibited good chemistry in copious emails back and forth previously.   My take on my failure to find her attractive in a sexual sense was that male and female chemistry is innate and perhaps immutable, though I had only my own one time experience to go to for that.

 
This conclusion, however, was reinforced recently when I saw a provider I had seen several times and who decided to transition to male by taking hormones.   Their physical characteristics could now be describes as somewhat androgynous as he now has a pencil thin mustache and a fair amount of bodily hair, though still has ample breasts and of course, the original equipment.   The bottom line was that I could perform very well with him.   Again, the female chemistry was still very much in evidence, and my body meshed with it very well.

 
As for the question of genders, my take on that is that while there are poles (female and male), that the majority cling close to, there is also a lot of gray area between them, and each should feel free (at least in a perfect society) to decide where in that continuum each wants to be, and also feel free to change should the desire arise.   We are making progress, but sadly there is a long way to go.

 
Thanks for helping close the gap just a bit.

Some people think that crossing from one sex and/or gender is unnatural.  Well, by that argument, most modern technology is unnatural. We do things that humans haven't evolved to do, such as flying,  conditioning the air, and communicating over vast distances. Sex/gender reassignment is a newer technology, and the human race hasn't adjusted to it yet.

This is weird and shallow, but for me it depends on how she looks at the end of the day. If MIss Canada (transgender) was advertising as a provider, I would book her in a heartbeat. Based on your photos, and if it were a complete transition, I would see you post-op. That being said, i would want to know that fact before booking the session, honesty in advertising.

I think its odd that women would celebrate being women by putting a pink hat on their head that symbolizes a vagina. What if guys walked around with big styrofoam hats that looked like penises on their heads? They'd be laughted at and ridiculed, guaranteed.

I grew up in an area on the face that would seem very conservative. Percentage wise, one of the highest/densest counties in the country that is Republican. That being said, we were more live and let live. We had people that were gay, of color, etc. Nobody gave a shit, just as long as you minded your own business, too. You don't judge me, and I won't judge you.

I'm learning more and more about what transgender, gay, etc., people go through and its horrific. Not just from a societal point of view, but inner struggles that you and people going through similar experiences grapple with every day. Also, the real danger if you're found out by a client, who thought you were a woman, but was previously a man. As you noted, the violence that transgenders (I apologize as I'm not familiar with the terminology and distinctions) face every day, and not just strangers but family.

Thoughts and prayers with you.

What I have been raised and told throughout my life, "To thine own self be true".

Best of luck.

-- Modified on 1/26/2018 7:57:09 AM

We can't control each other's perceptions.

Full disclosure, I have been experiencing the world of TS providers over the last year, with 5 sessions from 3 different providers in 3 different states. So I have a little bit of practical experience to bring to a theoretical discussion.

For me, they have all been women and I've treated them accordingly. In talking with them, they've all been certain that they were girls from a young age and started living their lives as girls -- some with family support, some without. The fact that they have "something extra" has been a bonus and generally been a fun experience.

I have no attraction to males (or FtM transsexuals), so I find the intentional and considered femininity of a TS woman quite intriguing.  

Living your day-to-day life surrounded by ignorant and sometimes hostile people can be challenging. Try not to let the bastards wear you down, even if they are supposed to be supportive of your efforts (i.e., the women marchers).

Look, we're all wired a bit differently -- things one person enjoys makes another scratch their head and say, "WTF?" Tolerance is a great concept but seems to be in short supply. Live your life the way YOU want to live it and strive to be happy.

And if you ever make it to Portland or Phoenix, send me a message

     
For those who still say she is male even after the surgery?  That's an entire discussion unto itself and I strongly disagree.    

While I cannot empathize with those who would be upset to learn that a woman they'd thoroughly enjoyed as a woman was a post-op trans woman, I know that those who've been in this situation can feel traumatized.  It disturbs them on a very deep level which, again, I cannot grasp at all.  But that doesn't make it any less real.  

So... although I personally don't think it should make a difference, because it DOES to what seems to be a significant percentage of men.... yes, unfortunately, I DO get why many of the powers that be in the hobby realm insist upon disclosing this.  

Just this past year I read some very alarming statistics regarding suicides, addiction, and other related issues among trans women.  Apparently trans women are assaulted, and are victims of domestic abuse in their personal relationships, more frequently than cisgender women AND are far more likely NOT to report it.  Depression, drug and alcohol abuse?  Again, much higher rates.    It's terrible, and very little gets said about it in mainstream media.   This needs to change.

The ONLY reason I feel it should be disclosed is as a protective measure: we all know that those who've been "suprised" with a post-op trans woman's status have sometimes turned violent.  It sucks that you'd have to be stuck with the TS tag forever to help avoid assault, but unfortunately that seems to be the world we live in.  

 
I cannot imagine being in your shoes and how very difficult it must be to KNOW you are a woman but still be slapped with that label.  

Please forgive me if I have offended you in any way, as that is truly not my intent.  
I support you and all trans people.

-- Modified on 1/26/2018 3:01:03 PM