In looking at the review scale, 5 is supposed to be average. If we all hobby regularly, we are going to all have sessions that, compared to other sessions, are average. Not great, not poor but in fact good or average. But how many of us grade them as such?
I can honestly say that, in order not to piss off or depress the provider, I usually use 7 (Hot Time) as my score for an average session.
Early on, I gave a provider a 5 and I received scorching emails calling me every name in the book. You would have thought I had given her a 2 had you read them. Perhaps TER should re-define the scale to include fewer choices. Maybe eliminate 3,4,6,7 and 8. And then change the remaining definitions to Outstanding, Great, Good, Poor and, of course, ROB.
Thoughts?
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 10:59:17 AM
Let's really think about our rating system:
Score of 10: Once in A Lifetime (applies to both performance and looks)
Should any provider really EVER receive a 10?? NO, NEVER. If you give a provider a 10, then you should either never hobby again (because she is the ONE and you could die right then) or continue to hobby but only exclusively see that provider forever. Again, she is your "once in a lifetime" so why pay to see anyone else?. Oh, we dont do this, do we? Exactly my point. And moreover, to the men who give multiple 10's, do we understand and grasp the concept of "once in a lifetime". How men give multiple 10's, is beyond any realm of comprehension.
Score of 9 (Looks). Model Material.
Here I take issue with obviously plain and average looking women (by anyone’s standards) receiving scores of 9. These women are so far away from being "model material" its not even funny. Yes, I know the argument that looks are subjective, but give me a break. There is NO possible way these women would ever get paid to model anything. Period.
Score of 9 (Performance). Forgot it was a Service
How the HECK could you ever possibly forget it’s a service???? Let's see you walk into your hour appointment at 3:00PM and immediately place the white envelope on the desk (SCREAMS SERVICE). You engage in 5-10 minutes of idle chatter, before the provider suggests moving the action into the bedroom. (SCREAMS SERVICE...most women would chat for hours). She then tells you to undress where she hastily rubs your back and quickly flips you over (SCREAMS SERVICE). You get a quick blow job, before she slaps on the cover and wants to fuck you (SCREAMS SERVICE). You pound her for a bit before cumming. She rolls off, gets something to clean you up with and comes back and lies next to you. Five minutes later she is trying to revive Mr. Happy as we have to try and complete round two in the hour (SCREAMS SERVICE) You go through the motions and complete round two. As you are relaxing on the bed, its now 4:05 and the provider is interested in getting you out (SCREAMS SERVICE)...she'll ask you what you are doing for the rest of the day, or hint she has some shopping to do, or she is meeting a friend for dinner, etc. (I've heard them all). You get dressed and with a hug/kiss are out the door (SCREAMS SERVICE). Then as you leave the building, you reach into your pocket and find the cash withdrawal slip from the ATM machine (SCREAMS SERVICE). So when exactly, from 3:00-4:10 did we ever forget that this was a service??? (What, perhaps in the 20 seconds that you are actually cumming?)
Moreover, I find it COMPLETELY WRONG that a provider E-mailed you with harsh criticism for giving her a score of 5. It seems that these numbers are the end all to everyone...nobody takes the time to read reviews. I have had several providers E-mail that they were annoyed at my scores, even though, if they read the reviews, they would find that I WOULD SEE HER AGAIN.
Dont change the way you rate. 5 is average and if you had an average session when compared to other sessions, then 5 is the appropriate number.
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 11:28:59 AM
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 11:30:54 AM
...but it is your opinion and only that.
Listen when I first started I actually agreed with your logic on "Once in A Lifetime", posted that on a thread and was nicely "educated" that it is possible to have multiple once in a lifetime experiences. I think you take the term too literally as I did.
If you look at my reviews I have in fact now posted multiple "Once in a Lifetime" experiences. I stand by those ratings...as FOR ME...each one was unique, spectacular and worthy of "Once in a Lifetime" designation.
As for "Forgot it was a Service"...listen again if taken literally it is impossible to say that any session parties forget it's a service....with that being said...if she is into the session, passionate, giving, enjoying me as much as I'm enjoying her.....yes for the few brief minutes of sexual delight I DO forget about the envelope, the service and the time limits.
Any scale of rating is subjective, based on the individual interpretation, at the end of the day I can look at your reviews and know who you enjoyed and who you didn't, and you can do the same with mine...
I would like to be educated on how one could possibly give multiple "once in a lifetime" scores. By the vary nature of the statement it is impossible to give multiple providers this rating. How can several women at different times in your life, be your once in a lifetime experience??? Taking that statement anyway you wish, it's just not reasonable to have more than one of those sessions. And to the men who have these supposed once in a lifetime experiences, why would you see anyone else??? After all, the "10" provider should be your drop all end all.
Moreover, and to the crux of the matter, how can you rate someone a once in a lifetime provider, WHEN NONE OF US HAVE LIVED A LIFETIME as of yet???? I'm in my late 30's and I am suppose to give a provider a 10??? Are you serious? How the heck am I suppose to know who I would meet in 5 years? 10 years? It's a score that I believe should never be given.
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 11:56:24 AM
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 11:56:56 AM
MimiLAX - My "Once in Lifetime" experience there involved her dressing up as maid mistakenly entering my room while I was naked on the bed. I then physically "took" her all the while she feigned not wanting my advances, but eventually yielding to me. All the above occuring while she only spoke Chinese, including a finale that involved me hammering her poop chute while she screamed out in Chinese for more. That my friend just isn't gonna happen again in my lifetime with anyone else...and if by chance it does I'll give her a 10 too.
Gina Rollins - My "Once in Lifetime" experience there involved 5 hours of abosultely doing whatever the fuck I wanted to Gina (her only rule is no physcial marks on her body), and I mean absolutely ANYTHING. In case I needed motivation she had 3 full suitcases (not carry ons, full suitcases) full of toys, vibrators, whips, bondage devices, saran wrap you frickin name it. That my friend just isn't gonna happen again in my lifetime with anyone else...and if by chance it does I'll give her a 10 too.
Ashley Shye - My "Once in Lifetime" experience there involved her swallowing my entire cock and then while her mouth was stuffed with my sausage she snaked her tongue out and licked my balls and sack. That my friend just isn't gonna happen again in my lifetime with anyone else...and if by chance it does I'll give her a 10 too.
I use TER as a means to identify a provider that will provide the best expereince for me. Sometimes I know they have limitations in menu items, and I will score them accordingly so they won't be getting a 9 or 10 from me. But when a woman rocks my world in a truly unique and novel way, you bet I'll give them a 10, and finding more 10 expereinces out there should be the goal all of us have.
It seems that by your defination the only true "Once in a Lifetime" experiences are birth and death....that's just freakin depressing to me, bro.
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 12:11:38 PM
So if on Monday you had a provider who blew you while simultaneously stuck her entire foot up your ass and this was your perfect end all scenario, you'd give her a ten. Then on Wednesday, another provider did the exact same thing, so you'd give her a 10 as well... Once in a lifetime, now becomes twice in a week...Makes no sense.
ALL MEN crave variety. Therefore, in your example, none of these women should be your once in a lifetime experience because you needed to see ALL of them to try and experience different sexual things. Not one of them was satisfying enough and thus NONE of them should have received a 10. They are "multiple in a lifetime" not "once in a lifetime"
"Once" implies just that....ONE PROVIDER.
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 12:26:31 PM
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 12:48:59 PM
....they will never be the same again, and yet they occur every day, day after day after day. Go figure.
Unless she specifically asks me to, or it's a ROB. Neither has happened.
But really, you don't think you may be taking this a little too seriously? It's all subjective on the part of the reviewer, which is always the case when you use a sliding scale. If I read your reviews, I'll assume a 7 is a real hottie - in your opinion. Some of the women you've visited may not even appeal to my taste, so it doesn't really matter how you've scored.
All-in-all, if you approach everything the way you approach the review system, I'm sure you're just a barrel of laughs to have a beer with.
This is how I see the whole "Once in a Lifetime" rating debate:
I don't take the "once in a lifetime" too literally, but a ten means that the session couldn't have been any better than it was- as it is the highest possible rating. Therefore, there could be more than one session that was as wonderful as it possibly could have been in all aspects, in and of itself.
Another way I look at it sometimes, with the literal translation, is that, as was pointed out, your lifetime is continually extending. But since reviews are written in real time, it is not practical to assume there can only be one. Do you expect men to be waiting until they are on their death bed and then writing all their reviews, comparing all the providers that they have ever slept with?? Since TER guidelines require a 3-month window of time in which a review can be submitted, this is not likely. One could look at it as the best experience in your lifetime UP TO THAT POINT, in which case there could be multiple "Once in a Lifetimes" as time goes on, with each experience getting better. However, I don't really see it that way, as that implies that you are constantly comparing providers in order to "rank" them somehow. None of the other scores/numbered rating are based on comparison- they are an evaluation of each provider in her own right. So why should a ten rating be looked at any differently??
Just my .02
XoXo
Marea
spelling and grammar edit
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 12:40:23 PM
If there is more than one session that goes as well as it possibly could have gone for the client, it is not a "one" time thing. It is a multiple thing and thus a once in a lifetime rating is not applicable.
A 10 rating must be looked upon differently. Scores of 5 or 6 (plain or nice or average) are all generic terms that apply to hundreds of providers. It is justifiable to give multiple scores in this range. "Once" in a lifetime should be just that, ONE TIME (and then you should quit hobbying)
And, I made the argument that we are continually living. Therefore, a 10 should never be given because we havent lived a lifetime. When I stop hobbying for good, I'll look back and give my ONE ATF a 10 because in the hobby world she will have been my once in a lifetime.
So when you see a 10, you know that Hardy has left the hobby!!!!
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 12:59:44 PM
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 1:01:57 PM
Hardy, you have an extensive review history and have obviously been at this a while but this point that your trying to make is ridiculous. I'll have to assume you're not serious and just stirring the pot, but here goes.
You claim to have a point, but what you don't have is a clue. You absolutley can have more than 1 "once in a lifetime experience". You've been given a good number of reasons why. Your second point about not having lived a lifetime is equally absurd. My life span or lifetime is a timeline and it don't get easier than that. My life is measured from the time I was born until the point that I am most currently alive. You can't look beyond the present. You want to extend into the future to prove a silly point but it doesn't work that way. 10's should be given at anytime they are deserved for variety or if it was simply the best experience to date on your timeline.
I had to laugh at your other point also. Once you reach that singular nirvana of a 10 you'll stop hobbying. When you get there, cut off your dick, dip it in bronze and make a shrine 
Make sure you write the review from the provider's hotel, because your blood loss during the travel may prevent you from entering the review. Then you technically qouldn't have any 10s, and that would be a shame.
Happy Hobbying
Seriously though, what a silly thread. I undertand the reviews are for the hobbyist and nowbody benefits from bad information.
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 3:45:08 PM
the numbers aren't that important to me, but the content of the reviews. I need to be able to see what type of girls you like and if you had a good time.
I do think that TER should probably re-word the descriptions for the guys that take stuff so serious. I think the creativity in the descriptions has been taken way too literally by some.
btw, I hope I never pay for "it was a nice time"
Palmela Handerson is at least that for free. lol
I essentially agree with bakdorman. To me, "10/Once in a Lifetime/One in a million" does not mean this woman is the best I have ever had, the best there could ever be, until the end of time and now I am going to kill myself since nothing could top her. That's just silly.
To me it means:
- Her beauty, sexuality and the experience is something I will remember for my lifetime.
- I could have a lifetime of fantasies, but this was a real experience that actually comes close to my fantasies.
- If she were the only person I could fuck, I could do it with her for a lifetime and not get bored with the experience.
To me these are pretty tough criteria. I have never given out a 10/10.
I tend to agree with Hardy more on the Looks side, than the Performance side. I know what models look like (with and without Photoshop) and I rarely give a 9. In my price range, I basically never would give a 10 for looks - she would have to be right out of the pages of Playboy. While women like this are available, they are usually not $$$/hour.
But as far as performance, bakdorman is taking the only reasonable position. You can have multiple experiences that you rate a 10. They are extraordinary, but they can happen.
As far as "I forgot it was a service", this does not mean that you don't pay her, or you don't have a time limit - to require that would be absurd. It means that she enjoys the sex as much as you do. That she can focus on sharing pleasure and on you, and that the outside world is, for a time, forgotten. It means that she treats you like a friend, not a client.
I am lucky that I have had quite a number of experiences like that with providers. I am sorry for him if Hardy has not.
filmat11
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 1:17:43 PM
I hope to one day meet the man with THAT kind of attitude.(Filmat) ~~smiles~~
Not all of us are 'once in a lifetime' though quite a few of us can come pretty damn close. I feel as though I would never be able to measure up to some of your rating standards.(Hardy) I have never had any complaints in the past, and actually have quite a few that keep calling me back time and time again. We talk, kiss, cuddle, and as Filmat above has said, am on very 'friendly' terms with many of my friends. They are not 'CLIENTS' they are FRIENDS!
Now...is there such a place for us women to rate you men? Because I would REALLY like to know how SOME of you are descibed in them.
All this bantering makes me feel as thought I'm about to climb Mount Everest without any rope. sighssssssssssssss
... that is, until we got our first, 'Barely Worth the Effort'.
I hate to say this but there's no way a "friend" would have casual relations with someone let alone "charge" for the privilage. As for reviews of us...well I think the quickest way for a provider to lose her "clients" would be to start telling others what she really thinks of the guy that just laid out his hard earned $$$$ to spend time with her.
You are entitled to how you see your 'friends' and I am entitled to how I see mine. They know where I stand and I know where they stand. Do they go elsewhere? maybe they do...but the fact remains...they keep calling me back.
As for us reviewing u guys? hmm...we can read too. I'll leave it at that. I give what my dates pay me for and then some. Does that make me a poor date? Hardly. It just means I am a generous provider. Upon my OWN choice...on who to provide the extras to...and who not to. Hey thank you for your input! OH and btw....don't you think we work hard enough for your hard earned $$$$? Sometimes it's not a piece of cake, trying to make you happy little campers.
Thinking about it, I wouldn't mind being reviewed by a provider as long as it's done in a constructive manner and the identification is by date and time, not by TER handle. That way, I could benefit by improving for my next encounter. She could give a critique face-to-face before leaving, but that could possibly wipe out self image and prestiege for other hobbyists (not me, of course) built up during the visit.
By not using my TER name, it would have no lasting negative effect out there for all providers to see. Just in case I might be anything less than a the nine I am in my own mind, I would hate have a provider turn me down due to poor performance. 
The posts could make interesting reading. What say the rest of you?
LOL
well, for people who don't have VIP. anything less than 5 is like, you won't get anything don't bother meeting this girl. whereas 6-10 would mean "you'd get what you are looking for" kinda deal.
the way i see it.. 1-3 = no performance 4-5 = ?, 6-10 = there is a performance.... rahter than 1-3 = poor performance. and so on.
this is from someone who has no vip status.
If you aren't willing to become a VIP then do we really care what you think of the rating system?
I for one do not!
...go figure since the blasting comes from someone whose postion of low scoring I have defended as all scores are subjective and to each his own as long as you are consistent with your scoring.
Wow-- can't believe we are back here again so soon...lol
It appears that the phrase "once in a lifetime" is a phrase that needs to be explored a bit. My "lifetime" is the sum of all of my experiences to this very moment in time. Since there is no guarantee of a tomorrow for any of us, it seems to me that to rate a performance a 10 is perfectly reasonable if it is in fact an experience exceeding all others and one that you cannot imagine being better. If you are fortunate enough to have an experience like that, then it seems to me that's what the 10 rating is for- one in a lifetime- my entire life to this moment in time.
Let's look at it another way. Active major leaguers all have "lifetime" batting averages. They don't use this stat for only dead or retired major leaguers, they use it to track batting averages for current players as a tool to determine their overall performance during their careers up to this moment in time. Active players' "lifetime" batting averages change after every at bat they have. What happens if during one game they bat 1000? Using the "Hardy" rule they should retire? Of course not. They come back the next day and play another game.
Hardy, you're lifetime batting average for performance scores is about a 5.5-- What is your reference point for average in your scoring? Given your longevity in this league with 61 reviews, you must be having some incredibly good sex off the field with civilians to rate the professionals as consistently average as you do. What the hell are you doing paying women so much and so often for so average? Stick with all those women you haven't written about that must be doing something really well to allow you to give such mediocre evaluations to the ones you have evaluated on your performance review scoreboard!
I like the idea of moving from numbers to definitions...but I don't know if we'll ever see that. I too have had average sessions and I've always tried to be honest in my reviews. But it was much easier when using agencies and the ladies don't know your online persona. With indy's, I've noticed it's often easier if you have a record which might expedite the verification process. But if she knows the persona, it seems to come back and bite you if you give an honest but less than satisfactory review. Like you, I usually begin with a seven and go from there. I know other guys must do it too since a lot rarely go below 7.
If anything, I have to question the guys who ONLY give 9's or 10's, even with having 30+ reviews. Can they all be that good?
While I certainly understand observations and comments about perceived review scoring inflation trends (it surely happens), I also think that acknowledgement has to be given to those hobbyists who thoroughly research what they seek and have become quite adept at finding it. If someone consistently searches for ladies with 9 and 10 performance scores (complete with substantiating detail evidence) and double checks his hits by additionally researching the hobbyists who posted those reviews to insure reliability and consistency then it should come as no surprise that such gents will have a high incidence of posting 9,10 scores. These experienced guys are not grade inflators at all but rather guys who find exactly what they are seeking. These are guys who have established a individualized set of standards for themselves and when acting as value seeking consumers they try hard to stay within the margin of satisfaction that they established for themselves. Said another way, when some guys hobby they seek to find the best lady available at the time when they want to play. Other guys wait to play until the 9 or 10 that they seek is available. Huge difference in philosophy. Nothing right or wrong with either approach but those guys who mostly hobby using the former method should recognize that there are hobbyists who play using the latter way of thinking.
As far as the multiple 10 debate, I am on the side that thinks it is ridiculous to say that such a designation should be taken literally and given but once ever. The hobby is all about great times and fantasy fulfillment. It is incomprehensible to me why some embrace a notion that would place a limit on possibly repeating the best that the hobby has to offer. Personally my goal is to find as many 10 times as I possibly can...
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 2:22:20 PM
Establshing a uniform rating scale is a typical issue with subjective and qualitative evaluations. Rating providers is a particularly difficutl problem because beauty is very subjective, and often emotional, as is a sexual encounter.
TER reviews are based on a 10-point scale. They tried to add some standards for this scale with descriptors such as "hot time" and "went the extra mile." Furthermore, they did add some objective criteria when they only allow scores above a 7 if the provider provides a specific service, such as greek or bbbj.
I think you are reading too much into the descriptions that go with the numerical ratings. If you really think that a 5 is average, then you should rate as many providers below a 5 as you do above a 5. However, that isn't going to happen anytime soon. In reality, we (the TER community) have developed a pretty uniform scale that works for most of us. Maybe you could call it grade inflation, but I think that most providers that do a halfway decent job (i.e., an average job, by your definition), will get a 7. Ripoffs and really bad providers will get a 2 or a 3 (I don't think I've seen a 1 yet). And in between, I don't see too many 4, 5, or 6 ratings. In other words, either the session was really bad, or it was satisfactory, with varying degrees of satisfactory. And occasionally, there are some sessions that are in between these. And I would say that in the majority of cases, the session is satisfactory, and hence, in reality most of the reviews are between 7 and 10, and therefore 5 is not really the true average (nor the median, nor the rating that is most often given). However, if you want to go and post your average review as a 5, then you will be the one that is inconsistent with everyone else. I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe you shouldn't take the description of the ratings too literally, but instead, you should calibrate your reviews to be consistent with the other 450,000 reviews.
As far as the 10 being once in a lifetime, or once in a million, I would agree with the others that you are reading this too literally. Remember the movie 10? Was Bo Derek really a once in a lifetime? Doubtful. Top 1 percent? Top 0.1 percent? Top 0.01 percent? I don't know. How do you really quantify that? And then, you get into the subjective rating of it -- as an 18 year old boy watching that movie, I thought she was hot, but she didn't really do it for me, so I would've rated her as an 8.
One comment on TER's policy of only giving scores above a 7 if the provider offers a special service: I'm a pretty tame, simple, easy-to-please guy. Greek doesn't do much for me, and I'm not interested in a porn star experience. So that means that my reviews will be limited to 7s and 8s for the most part. That doesn't mean that my world wasn't rocked, but according to TER's scale, that's what they get. However, since a lot of guys are interested in the extra special things, this rating scale makes some sort of sense. And really, if a girl offered three special things, then according to those rules, she'd qualify for a 10, even though she's probably not the only girl you will meet in your lifetime to offer those special things. And on the other hand, I had one provider who, twice in one session, rocked my world, made my head spin, and sent me to outer space -- with just her hands! But according to TER rules I could only give her a 7. That doesn't describe my satisfaction with her, but again, that's how the other reviews are written, so that's fine with me.
Finally, the written parts of the reviews provide the detail that a simple numerical rating can't provide. The reviews are a quick guideline to allow you to filter out obvious ripoffs, and to identify the high performers. The real strength of the reviews comes from the narratives.
I don't see providers unless I think the performance will be at least a 7, based upon multiple prior reviews, so it would seem unfair, for me, to give a rating of less unless the performance was less (in fact i usually look fo 8-9s, and give 7 if somehting that reviews suggested would be offered is not or the session is rushed). TER also has certain criteria, especially for reviews of 8, 9, 10, and since many do not offer greek, bbbj..sticking to those criteria means a 9 or 10 can't be given even if the performance meet or surpassed all expectations. But I recognize that everyone has a slightly different scale, however, since most of my hobbying is in a geographic region, I look for revieweers who have also seen/reviewed providers who I have also seen to get a sense for how they rate - if they rate someone that I rate a 8 as a 6, then I assume they just have a lower scale. The systems works well once you get used to it and provided you stick with well reviewed. But, like many others, I'm a sucker at times for a hot photo spread or a new provider at an established agency, so sometimes I take my chances just for varieties sake - sometimes's I'm rewarded, sometimes I wish I'd saved my money..but the vareity certainly adds spice to the hobby.
I gave one provider a 10 for appearance because, quite simply, she is gorgeous, and she is by far the most attractive woman I've been intimate with in my life to this point.
Runningman
If it were up to me only VIP's would see the numbers and the full written review. I really think one without the other is useless.
The numbers are and alway will be subjective. It's the written review that I go by.
...I can be found playing lawn darts. Feel free to quote me on that.
Just have fun, people! Okay now, I'm rating everyone on who can stop talking about ratings, overnighters with overbearing attitudes and dumbass men who don't get the hair thing-a-ma-jig!
1) Yes, a "5" or "6" is considered not so great by providers. Men, you don't have a f_ _ in' clue because you're not being rated. But who cares? Because of ratings, it puts more pressure on us to perform, and who wants to perform? I'd rather just give great head, a fantastic massage and great French kisses because I know the person is enjoying them and it's more like a date.
2) Overnighters suck -- period. Unless you're with Brad Pitt and want to f _ _k all night, then you're in trouble. Communication beforehand is vitally important. If the circumstances change, then it's his fault. If he's honest with you while scheduling then it's the provider's fault. I prefer six hours of non-stop fun (and then go home to sleep) as opposed to 12 hours of humping the whole time and feeling angry about it afterward.
3) Men: Please shave or least trim it way back. We do it for you. What makes you think we want to floss before eating?
Hugs,
Ciara
I never knew overnighters sucked so bad. What about 4 hours of non-stop fun and eight hours of cozy sleep?
Unless you know and like the gentleman very well, and you don't have bad habits, then it might be okay. I'll never have a cozy sleep unless it's my bed and my cat is involved.
But, one never knows. That could change with the right man.
Hugs,
Ciara
lol. I did. Then I'd say average in the industry starts at about a 7.
I have to say when I got into this, I didn't know how good sex could be. So, I was comparing it to some really bad civie sex. Sex so bad it made me celibate for 4 years.
However, if you compare it to other things, such as school grades, a 7 (meaning a 70) is considered a hair above failure, unless they put it on a curve.
In my own job, when we get evaluated, we have to score good or outstanding. If I score satisfactory, I get taken back to see Moe for some slapping and eye gouging. I have always wanted to ask why they call it satisfactory if it wasn't satisfactory, but I could figure it out. It's because, obviously, we can't keep our clients if we tell them we're merely satisfactory. Which, if you think about it, is exactly the reason why a provider could get really pissed off for a 5.
So, think of 6 as being civie sex, 5 as married civie sex. Seven as low-professional level.
-- Modified on 9/14/2007 10:37:20 PM
The best provider experiences I have had have not been nearly as good as the best civvie experiences I had. If you have a good civvie experience with the right woman, and there is something there beyond sex, it goes so far beyond what you can experience here, it is laughable.
Until recently I would have completely agreed with your comments above. However, it has been my intense pleasure to have had an experience with a provider that was indistinguishable from the very best love making I have had with someone to whom and with whom I shared the deepest intimate commitment. When I was with this provider I was single, if that matters.
Perhaps she (the provider) was simply a consummate actress. Or perhaps, in the moment, she allowed herself to join me in that special intimate way that lovers do. Perhaps she just tuned in to me and what I made it the best for me and drew me in to where I could give myself up to the experience the way I would with a real lover. In some sense it doesn't matter because I could not tell.
Was she "in love" with me? Hardly. Was/am I in love with her? No - relationships are way more complicated and demanding than great sex in a hotel room. But that experience was profoundly revealing in this way. Sex and love are completely different aspects of intimacy, and I now know that while you can not have the best love with out sex the reverse is not true. I have a new perspective on how sex fits in relationships, both in this and the civie world.
Oh and as I side note, this was definitely one of those times that "I forgot it was a service" applied. Since in that moment I literally did.
-J
Dude, looking at your scores, and then mine, I have to question that statement.
I have had several providers seriously fuck my brains out...but we obviously have different outlooks on things if you think you can have the best sex without love. You are entitled to your views, but I feel sorry for anyone that feels the way you do.
or perhaps I didn't do a good job of making it. Perhaps I should have selected a different title. I freely acknowledge that you have reviewed a wider scope of experiences than I. Something I considered before and during the writing of my comment. Since I only hobby between civie relationships comparatively fewer experiences are my normal state. Also I failed to make clear that in general I expect and believe that sex with love is better than sex without. However is love REQUIRED?
Hobbists, providers, and civilians come from every slice of humanity. They bring an endless variety of experience, expectation, and context to every meeting. We can agree that until I met a particular provider, on a particular day, for what was, so far, an exceedingly rare experience, I believed as you do. Since that day my views have changed a bit.
So with your indulgence I offer you this observation. Perhaps as you hobby on you will encounter someone who causes your view to change as well after all every new encounter offers that possibility no matter how remote we may believe it to be. As long as we enjoy life and how we live it, it doesn't really matter does it?
Anyway - I meant no insult nor to impugn your experience. Hobby safe
-J
Providers should compete extremely well here.
Then again, my civie sex life was pretty hapless. I blew all my chances for the best sex, I think.
Well i tell you what yoou have definitely been with the wrong civies then, because on only a few occasions have i had better sex with a provider thann with a civie. Also sex with my wife of 10 years is routinely an 11 out of 10, I just only get it every 2 months!
I am a newbie, but I think that what is upsetting everyone the most on this issue is "ratings creep".
When you first start using a ratings system, scored 1 to 10, the raters might initially score 2 or 3 as poor, 5 as average, and 9 or 10 as outstanding or once in a lifetime.
Over time, 7 or 8 becomes average, 9 or ten becomes great, and outstanding would have to be 11 or 12. Everyone wants to be at least "better than average" and nobody wants to be rated "below average" or poor.
When I was a military officer, each officer was rated by his superiors on a similar scale to the one used by TER. By the time that I was rated, you had to get nines and tens, or your performance was considered to be suspect. Your scores determined whether or not you were promoted, your pay scale, your choice of assignments, and ultimately, whether or not you had a career in the military.
If the rating officers tried to follow the intent of the system, they would screw over their subordinates and ruin their budding careers. If you were rated a 7 or 8, you were "damned with faint praise" which meant that you were not really an officer who should be promoted or you did not show future promise.
Because of the "ratings creep" over a period of years, everyone had to score in a very narrow band at the high end or they got screwed over.
I have had my Ten Experience once- with an ex-girlfriend. She wasn't a ten in the looks department, probably 6-8 YMMV, but that one night was a definite TEN. And we probably didn't actually qualify using a lot of TER standards. It was a TEN though. Just a once in a lifetime experience.
And it has happened only a once in a lifetime of experiences.
If that evening is ever topped by a provider, I will score that session as a "10" and move my current memories down the ladder to a "9".
Until that happens, the highest score I will give is an "8".
I have been fortunate through reviews on TER to have positive experiences with all the ladies I've met, and have posted reviews of the ones I thought were worthy of mention. For me, a 7 or 8 means I had a pretty good time...maybe average for some, maybe above average for others, but at least worth writing about...and it also means that I have been a repeat visitor.
I haven't had a negative experience yet, although I've had some average ones. But those that weren't worth writing about, either positively or in a negative sense, were because YMMV so I chose not to comment, and also not to revisit. But they were OK by me, again YMMV.
My 10/10 ratings. I guess I didn't know any better.
Message:
I hadn't been with a provider (we didn't use the term back then) since I found a few in NYC back in the '70s. We didn't have the Internet, just ads in Screw. I hit it off well with one young lady and we saw eachother regularly for several years. Then I gave up hobbying (didn't know that term, either) for about 30 years. When I decided to resume, I didn't know about TER, reviews, nothing. Thank goodness I could start fresh.
I did a Google search for "escort" and "Las Vegas." All sorts of directories and "services" came up, but very few providers.
My research did show that the most highly regarded providers were reviewed in TER, so I searched its pages, cross referenced provider web pages and made my selections: the first three choices, to be phoned in order. I connected with my #1, LJ Montana, and we got together.
I didn't read what the guidelines were. I just compared her to ALL my past experiences (including the ones I saw regularly from NYC), my dating and engaged experiences and even a bit of my fantasies. I rated her on how well we connected as people when we were together, and how well she met my physical and emotional needs, wants and desires. She exceeded all that I wanted and anything I had experienced before. And she helped me realize some fantasies.
Does that merit a 10? Certainly for looks, but for performance, too? Not good enough, according to some long term posters. But others rated her a 10, so I think I'll just stick with that until the moderators suggest I change. Meanwhile, I'm going to Vegas this week to celebrate my 69th birthday (a few days late) with her.
Once in a lifetime? Hell, yes ... but I expect this next time will be even better. Just like sports, records are made to be broken!