Most people don't have the opportunity to decide what they want to do vs. what they have to do.
If you are fortunate enough to be at a point in your life where you can wake up every morning and truly decide what makes you happy just do it and don't worry about the balance.
Chances are in a few months the balance will shift in another direction.
Just like the newest irresistable provider you will find another.
Enjoy the moment!
Being the first of the year I thought it would be a good time to discuss balance in ones life (or my life anyway).
I will say since returning to the hobby after several years off I have had a difficult time striking a balance between real life (business and personal) and hobbying. TER provides a plethora of material to review, like minded people to discuss it with, and the actual opportunity to transcend fantasy into real life. One could easily spend twenty hours or more a week including all facets of research, discussion boards, and implementation which after due consideration seems excessive.
Needless to say after spending the majority of December researching and then implementing my findings (and little else as far a business of personal life) I have made it my mission to strike a better balance in my life going forward.
Here is my plan. I met with a business consultant / life coach to hold me accountable to business and personal goals for the New Year so that I don't get too carried away in 2008 with the hobby. However, the same day I also had an encounter with most beautiful, skilled, and motivated provider that I have met to date. So, I clearly not yet mastered the life balance issue.
So here is my question: How do you find a balance that provides maximums satisfaction while also keeping in line with your most important personal and business goals?
There will always be someone there to flip those burgers.
We ALL juggle balance in our lives in some fashion or another.... want an irony...? there are lots.... And just when I think that I have balance... I listen to The good ole Moody Blues....
After he had journeyed
And his feet were sore
And he was tired
He came upon an orange grove
And he rested
And he lay in the cool
And while he rested
He took to himself an orange
And tasted it
And it was good
And he felt the earth to his spine
And he asked
And he saw the tree above him
And the stars
And the veins in the leaf
And the light
And the balance
And he saw magnificent perfection
Whereon, he thought of himself in balance
And he knew he was
Just open your eyes
And realize
The way it's always been
Just open your mind
And you will find
The way it's always been
Just open your heart
And that's a start
And he thought of those he angered
For he was not a violent man
And he thought of those he hurt
For he was not a cruel man
And he thought of those he frightened
For he was not an evil man
And he understood...
He understood himself
Upon this he saw
That when he was of anger
Or knew hurt
Or felt fear
It was because he was not understanding
And he learned
~~Compassion~~
And with his eye of compassion
He saw his enemies like unto himself
And he learned
~~Love~~
Then, he was answered
Just open your eyes
And realize
The way it's always been
Just open your mind
And you will find
The way it's always been
Just open your heart
And that's a start
Just open your eyes
And realize
The way it's always been
Just open your mind
And you will find
The way it's always been
Just open your heart
And that's a start
I have that album on vinyl. Thanks for posting those lyrics. That was nice...long, but nice.
I love the Moody Blues. I've seen them at least three times..at what's now called The Wachovia Center, the Spectrum, and the Merriweather Post (in Maryland).
When the unbalance makes the neglected areas more painful than the excitement of the hobby is exciting, you'll pay attention to the neglected areas!
Like said above- we all get out of balance especially when a new "toy" arrives. Every go off the deep end on video games, chat rooms, email?
New in the hobby, it screams for your attention! I'm new too- jumped in with both feet, but after 16 weeks the rest of my life is starting to scream and will start getting attention again!
You got the life coach, and a skilled provider. That's one on each side of the equation, which is the basic definition of balance.
Seriously though, I go through phases regularly where I consider bailing out of the hobby completely, and then see a beautiful woman and come running back. I think as long as you struggle with it, it won't get completely out of hand. But then again, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
Delegate.
You'll be looked upon as a leader and have all the time you need for this wonderful foolishness.
As you age, career balance often takes prescedence. If you are in your peak earnings years that's pretty normal. Regarding the "hobby" consider the baseball analogy. The best teams have successful farm clubs and recruiting programs. Some will retire, some will move, some will latch on to SO's. Personal experience: I violated both principles and ended up with Zero. Two exceptional ladies unexpectedly came into my life, one from recruiting, one from research. The research resulted in a lady beyond anyone for years. The other was an unexpected approach to me via pm by a self-described TER lurker who took a risk in approaching me. Do your job, and miracles do happen. Gotta have a good farm team.
Life Coach, WTF, just do your job and take time to get laid. Everything else will fall into place.
But chances are, if you feel like it is off than it probably is. My work life is rather hectic so the hobby more often than not takes a back seat based on my availability. When I have slow periods I may devote more time to this pleasurable endeavor and when it's crazy at work I may go weeks or a month or more without seeing anyone.
I really only have a couple of simple rules-everything in moderation and don't spend the milk money. I hobby guilt-free when I have the time to do it.
I believe moderation is a great thing, as long as you can get enough of it. lol I don't drink milk, so I'm not worried about the milk money, and I rarely go more than a day or two without seeing at least one lady.
Of course, I am single, and I own my own company,hence my time and my money are my own. I, just like Bostonguy can hobby guilt free.
Completely different approaches that seem to work just fine for each of us. Just goes to show, there is not one answer for everyone.
-- Modified on 1/3/2008 1:51:26 PM
-- Modified on 1/3/2008 1:52:23 PM
Great discussion on life balance. There are just too, too many choices on balance, work vs pleasure, spend vs save, fish vs steak (or better yet, tacos!!) Please tell me about the life coach-- I have wanted to start with one.
Warm thoughts from a cold zone!!
We all have to work harder at getting out of are own heads and making sensible choices that don't always involve getting laid. The hobby is easy when you plan, research, and execute...
Let your checkbook find the balance for you...
hobby on !!!!
The implication behind something like "balance" or "equilibrium" is that it implies equal weight to many activities. That's just not the way reality works. I decide what's important in my life and try to work on that as much as possible.
I love the hobby and the ladies I meet but if my other activities require more attention, then I hobby less. If you value the hobby more, then you will have to sacrifice something less important to you.
In physics, balance is unstable and fleeting, fluctuation and change are normal. I've found life to work the same way. It's learning how to ride the changes that makes life exciting.
I legally changed my name to "Alexander J. Luethor".
I hang pictures of the women I've slept with on my office wall.
I bought a Porsche just so I could be more like Lex Luthor from Smallville....
In short: I said to hell with my "real" life.
I'm sorry, what was the question again?
Most people don't have the opportunity to decide what they want to do vs. what they have to do.
If you are fortunate enough to be at a point in your life where you can wake up every morning and truly decide what makes you happy just do it and don't worry about the balance.
Chances are in a few months the balance will shift in another direction.
Just like the newest irresistable provider you will find another.
Enjoy the moment!
We're not here to find balance in life.
We're here to get laid with as many women as our bank accounts will allow.
As your Life Coach, or any psychologist will tell you, your interests, hobbies, passions, quirks, phobias, etc., are only a problem if they interfere with the rest of your life. So therefore:
- Don't spend so much time reading TER that you do a less-than-quality job at work.
- Don't spend so much time reading TER or fucking escorts that you ignore your obligations to your family.
- Don't spend money on escorts that you can't afford - it's "entertainment", after all.
- Replace TER/fucking with golf and you have the same, sensible advice.
See? I saved you 2 sessions with a Life Coach. That will be $300 (which I will spend on an escort).
filmat11
Stop thinking with your dick. The business/life coach is a great idea but it's only as good as you are; he or she can't lose the weight, save money, decrease your cheating ways, etc... What happened to good old fashioned will and determination. I smoked for years before going cold turkey... why enrich some joker selling patches?
At work, I hired more staff to cover my lost time.
At home, I got a divorce. Just kidding on this part.
...how to balance it though. After spending most of December, 07 on TER, I now have no money in January 08! I own my own business and have people working for me, but I still have the most important job of all, invoicing the jobs and collecting the money. I guess I didn't "balance my time " properly, and now I'm paying, er rather not paying, cause I don't have any money!!
-- Modified on 1/4/2008 1:19:51 PM
ah, fuck it.
ummm... you er...uh... therapy, and er..life.. I got nothing.
My problem is, similarly to you (I'm assuming you are decently succesfull); the deal with me is, god decided (or whomever) to put the biggest sexual drive on planet earth , a drive I've had to squelch with hundreds of thousands spent on providers..(well I'm sure some of you match me..) into a frame of a person that's been fat since 3 years old, and only average looking with a ton of social hangups and lack of self-esteem. Lol. So ...the balance you talk of may not be in your control. I for one hope this libido kicks the bucket. I'm praying my 30th birthday will at least bring me a notch down. (or twelve..)
Also, I find the boards addicting because not many of us with the exception of friends, can air out our feelings about the hobby and share war stories. It's not pullin a toy hauler to palmdale and flippin ATV's all day (which i also do -- another expensive freaking hobby ..)
, it's an act that society doesn't fully accept. So while I can grab a beer and shoot the shit about why I whiped out and broke my foot on a dune, I can't exactly go, man this provider gave the best BBBBJ in the world. You could say some woman I met, or a girlfriend, but it's just not the same.