Honestly, I don't know if a provider would attempt some alternate resolution, or would simply black list someone if the envelope had been THAT light. If the agreed upon price is $1000, and you only pay $600, I'd think she'd be mighty pissed (and rightfully so).
Sorry for what is potentially a very basic question, but for the past week I've been trying to figure out how to handle what is potentially a rather negative review.
tl:dr Appointment was for 3 hours, provider left at 1:45 with full donation.
So, last week my wife and I set up a playdate out of town, a number of emails back and forth with the provider and we set on a 3 hour date starting at 4:30. Two days before the trip, something came up, and we suddenly had to cancel. Then, on the afternoon of the date, our schedule cleared and we were suddenly free, able (and very much wanting) to play, so we contacted the provider, who was VERY accommodating and said she'd be able to meet us at 5:30.
Now, although this was one hour after our original start time, we didn't think the date time was changing. In fact, we responded that 5:30 would work, since we could just push our dinner reservations one hour later. We also reconfirmed the donation amount (that she had set for 3 hours of her time).
She winds up being a little over 10 minutes late which isn't really a big deal. We chat, have a drink, play, climax, all that good stuff, and lounge for a bit before she gets up, gets dressed, says her goodbyes, and leaves. It is only at this point that we notice it's only just past 7:15.
Now, this is a rather highly reviewed provider with nothing by 9s and 10s, so I'm assuming either she made a mistake, or there was some misunderstanding, but it'd be ridiculous to contact her and say "Hey, you owe us 75 minutes of your time!" On the other hand, a review of this session would come up with a rather low score, which I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate. I suppose I could just not write a review and privately let her know why?
I suppose I'm asking the hobbyists what they would do in this situation, and I'm asking the providers what they would like the hobbyist to do.
Contact her and let her know.
Try to come to a resolution and see what she is willing to do for leaving early.
If she's defensive, evasive, angry, makes excuses, blames you, and you can't come to a resolution, then that would be the time you can write the review.
Always try to come to a resolution first before writing a bad review.
Just like ebay, you don't want to leave negative feedback without contacting the seller. It's unprofessional.
I think this is just another session in which the provider was doing math. Your 3 hours (180 minutes) does not always ad up to the provider 3 hours (180 minutes). I say post the review and email/pm her with a nice explanation on why you are dooing so.
I have had a provider tell me "your time starts when I leave my house and ends when I get home". So maybe she was including travel?
Ask yourself this, how would have she responded if the envelope would have been light.
Honestly, I don't know if a provider would attempt some alternate resolution, or would simply black list someone if the envelope had been THAT light. If the agreed upon price is $1000, and you only pay $600, I'd think she'd be mighty pissed (and rightfully so).
We can conjecture that she thought she was doing you a big favor by conforming to your rather flighty schedule in the first place, as she might have blocked off that whole day, but since you didn't ask at the time, then you sort of gave up on the high ground there.
It is always good to be very specific with a provider, especially when the original schedule changes, just exactly what times they plan to come and for how long they plan to stay.
Try to contact her now and see what she says, but I have a feeling she may not respond.
In any case, you are free to write a review and state the facts of what happened.
YOU are the one who was at least somewhat flaky on this, while she was over-the-top accommodating, correct me if I am wrong.
YOU lost track of time and did not realize she was leaving early, but it is not possible that she did the same thing?
By your statements, sounds like you had an excellent time while she was there, and she has stellar reviews otherwise.
What do you have to gain by posting a negative review?
TAKE the advice that others have given here and CONTACT her to discuss the situation. The WORST that will happen is either she won't respond, or she will tell you that you forfeited an hour with your schedule change. The BEST is she will give you the time you "lost", discount on future visit, or some other consideration.
Either way, go ahead and write an honest review once you've cleared the air.
YOU lost track of time and did not realize she was leaving early, but it is not possible that she did the same thing?
Personally, I don't see it as my job to keep track of time in these situations. Heck, we turn the bedside clock around, just to prevent clock-watching (time can be checked during the shorts breaks that happen in play).
Of course, it is very possible that she lost track. However, once she realized that the time difference was THAT much, she has a choice to make. Considering I don't have any correspondence from her, I can assume what her decision was.
By your statements, sounds like you had an excellent time while she was there, and she has stellar reviews otherwise.
What do you have to gain by posting a negative review?
You've made an attempt to contact her, and that was the gist of my post - that you shouldn't write a negative review without clearing the air first.
I re-read my post, and realize it sounded like I was criticizing you. I didn't intend it that way. All I was trying to say was that writing a negative review wouldn't gain YOU anything, while talking to her first would at least bring you understanding, and maybe bring you an offer of appeasement.
As for my assumptions, I have only what you posted to go on - you said that "We chat, have a drink, play, climax, all that good stuff, and lounge for a bit", while not making any mention at all of anything bad about the session - so yes, I assumed that the only thing you complained about (the time) was the only thing wrong.
Negative reviews for providers who deserve them are absolutely vital to this site. A provider who has "all 9s and 10s otherwise" may not deserve a negative review when there is a chance there was a simple misunderstanding - again, clearing the air before writing the review is called for.
OK, I DO see your side in this, so don't bash me here.
However, did you do all the play you had planned? Did everyone bask in the post play glow adequately? You planned the occasion and estimated how long you wanted available. But everything happened that you wanted but in less time. How long did you want her to just hang out?
In a normal 1 on 1 the provider usually manages the time. I used to book a longer time period for my enjoyment because I needed the extra time. But it has evolved that I no longer need the longer time, so I NO LONGER BOOK the extra time. At least one lady mentioned to me that we didn't need the extra time.
I wouldn't bash her for leaving if everyone was satisfied. If something was left un-done, that's different. WHY would the review have a low score? If the play was everything you wanted, then forget about the time issue. How would it score without the time issue?
I would not expect a provider refund but I would open a non-accusatory discussion about booking a time frame more in keeping with your needs.
This is my view.
skb
Almost everybody up to now has said something with which I agree.
If you paid for 3 hours you should get it all. If you're finished with sex, there still is the post game or other talk. As far as I'm concerned, an experienced. over 22 (kids what do they know) high paid escort takes care of you for the whole time! Escort means more than sex. There are exceptions when she can get up and leave, when it's listed on her website, violence, threat, etc or you indicated you were finished with the session. Make sure to talk this part over with your SO and that your SO didn't send any of these signals, especially that it was over.
The provider didn't call or write to apologize for any other reason; therefore, it's fair to assume unless she left for one of the above reasons, she shorted or stole 42% of your time.
Like any dispute, first you make certain of the facts and get all sides versions. In this case, her legitimate ones are limited, because her lack of apologizing and her position requires her to do so unless it is an exception justifying no contact with you. You'll have to determine if this is one of those. If not, call and PM get her side give her 24 hours then submit the review.
No offense, but most providers would not have been able to see you at all being you said you only gave her two hours of a notice about canceling, and then you all of a sudden want the appt. Why some guys schedule knowing their work could interfere is beyond me, and the very reason so many providers are starting to require a deposit. I would contact her and ask if you guys can either get the time she agreed to on another date, or a refund of the fee before you do anything. Most professionals with such high scores will be more than willing to do another date, vs. getting a bad review.
It could also be she charged you a cancellation fee, but if that is the case she should have made that known. Personally, I don't book again with someone who cancels unless they make up any expenses I may have incurred, so maybe that is exactly what she did. Did you provide the room or did she? Was that also the case the first time you canceled? If so, I don't think you would have cost her any money, but I don't really know what she had to go through to meet you guys to begin with. Most providers who schedule a 3 hour appt. tend not to see anyone else that day, so she likely tossed off other appts. for you.
London, yeah, I'm really assuming there was some misunderstanding here. Like others have suggested, I've gone ahead and sent her an email inquiring if anything was wrong (heck, if she had an issue with us, I absolutely want to know about it, so we don't run into it later).
However, I should clarify some things in your response. Our cancellation came two DAYS before the session, which was well outside of her requested cancellation time (her site clearly states 24 hours, any sooner, and a fee is desired, all of which is acceptable). The rescheduling did come last minute, but that I see as totally her choice, and not something to penalize for. That is, it's really no different from any other person you've already screened contacting you for a same-day session, either you have the time and the desire to work, or you don't.
I do agree that if she did decide to arbitrarily apply a 33% fee for whatever reason, that really should have been communicated beforehand. (And would have had us decline the entire thing)
Oh, and, the room/drink/expenses were always ours. So she had no out of pocket other than standard preparation and travel (bridge tolls in the area are a bitch).
It could also be she charged you a cancellation fee, but if that is the case she should have made that known. Personally, I don't book again with someone who cancels unless they make up any expenses I may have incurred, so maybe that is exactly what she did. Did you provide the room or did she? Was that also the case the first time you canceled? If so, I don't think you would have cost her any money, but I don't really know what she had to go through to meet you guys to begin with. Most providers who schedule a 3 hour appt. tend not to see anyone else that day, so she likely tossed off other appts. for you.
you guys paid for everything else, I really don't know what could have happened here.
-- Modified on 11/20/2012 8:04:28 AM
Oh, no bashing, I sort of see the approach you're suggesting. But with over and hour left, a second session certainly would not be out of the question (especially dealing with a couple). Furthermore, I really don't see a climax as the ending to a session. If you book an hour, and she makes you cum in 15 minutes, that means it's ok for her to walk out then? That's usually called a seriously rushed session, and would result in a very negative review.
Also, I've seen others (not you) suggest that we should have stopped her...why would we want to make someone stay if they're wanting to leave? How could that ever lead to a good time?
However, did you do all the play you had planned? Did everyone bask in the post play glow adequately? You planned the occasion and estimated how long you wanted available. But everything happened that you wanted but in less time. How long did you want her to just hang out?
In a normal 1 on 1 the provider usually manages the time. I used to book a longer time period for my enjoyment because I needed the extra time. But it has evolved that I no longer need the longer time, so I NO LONGER BOOK the extra time. At least one lady mentioned to me that we didn't need the extra time.
I wouldn't bash her for leaving if everyone was satisfied. If something was left un-done, that's different. WHY would the review have a low score? If the play was everything you wanted, then forget about the time issue. How would it score without the time issue?
I would not expect a provider refund but I would open a non-accusatory discussion about booking a time frame more in keeping with your needs.
This is my view.
skb
.... but it probably would have been good to find out ahead of time if she had to leave at the original time or if the full three hours was still in the stars. Perhaps she had other plans later on, but with that said I like the idea of contacting her for a discount and or made up time. If it doesn't work out you can write the review as such but not blasting her for shortened time. Instead I think it would be the right thing to do by making mention of it but admitting that your change of plans contributed to the situation and that it wasn't cleared ahead of time.
After all is said and done, what's fair is fair and she can't be totally blamed for anything she did wrong, and either could you, but the situation was originally created by your change of plans and I think it was good for all concerned that she was still willing and able to accommodate you last minute.
If she is willing to work with you then it's a win-win but of not, it's just one of life's experiences that we learn from.
No provider wants a clockwatcher any more than a guy does. The simple answer is that you should have some mutual respect.
Yes, it sucks to be shorted on time, but I regularly end sessions with providers at the 45-minute mark when I have an hour. I don't ask for the other 15 minutes if I've finished and there is no reason to stick around. That's a mood-killer, and something only a stickler would do. Then again, I tip big at restaurants, so maybe I have a more forgiving attitude about this.
It goes the other way, too. Providers have given me a lot more time and not watched the clock because they know an hour can sometimes mean 75 minutes.
The subtle and nice way to go about this is to say upfront..."Hey, I scheduled this appointment because I have a meeting after this, so I would love it if we can spend the full hour together. I don't really have anywhere else to go between the end of this appointment and the meeting, so would that work?" That states clearly your time expectations without coming off as being totally brutally honest.
Even though the purpose of you buying a drink for a girl at the bar is to eventually fuck her, you don't say, "Hey, just wanna be clear...if I buy you this drink, I just want you to know this is my way of stating that I am trying to fuck you eventually, hopefully tonight."
It's all in the approach.
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