Fairly new to this and have visited with 5 providers (one was FBSM). I rarely indulge, but when I do, I am as diligent as anyone (doing research and reading posts).
As I prepare for my next visit, I start to wonder about my Hobby "Persona". All throughout my life, respect- both giving and receiving is important. As I go further into exploring this side of me, I start to wonder what is the best way (or most respectful) to lose my everyday personality and be a different person during a visit.
I am not interested in suddenly being a jerk and being disrespectful to another person. I am interested in letting my "alter ego" come out - occasionally indulge the wild side. How do I lose control without losing it completely?
Was in Vegas a few years ago and was approached by a "bar girl"… she makes eye contact and struts over and says "You look too nice and probably will not consider taking me to your room, but if you are interested, I am over here". I am sure it was a line. Not that I would have fallen for it (especially since TER has taught me to be careful of these types of encounters), but her statement made me think, can't I be nice and have a wild side? Not sure if she was a provider - did not care to find out.
So gents, I guess the question is - do you have a hobby persona that is completely different from your day to day personality?
Ladies, what is the most respectful way to communicate fantasies/desires for a first time meeting and not make you uncomfortable?
to a great encounter!
I think a respectful introduction email is ok and getting your references cleared first.
Once that is done MOST women should be more open to discussing possible fantasies/desires.
But in order to make sure you do not offend her or put her off, I would just ask her upfront. "now that my references or screening has cleared, would you mind if I emailed you some possible fantasies or desires or wishes for our first meeting? If you can accommodate any of these, that would be great! If you have any ways to enhance them or other ideas of your own, that would be wonderful also! If any of these are not things you wish to do, please let me know what your personal comfort level is!"
I think that is a great way to bring it up imho as a provider myself :P
You should maintain control of your 'society-accepted persona'. That's the part of us that conforms to society.
And when you hobby, you got to let loose your wilder sensual side, but that does not mean you lose civility with the ladies. Communication is key.
For me, my hobby persona = super-stud. And I gotta do two cups per hour if possible to maintain the super-stud person & several variety of positions. For other hobbyist, they could be Valentino or Fabio for all I care. It's your money and time, dont be afraid to express yourself and tell the ladies what you like. YOu may not get everything you desire, but at least you asked!
Heck, just be yourself. If you're a gentleman in your "civilian" life there's no reason you can't be one in your hobby life. Who needs a persona?
But, keep in mind that what happens in the privacy of a bedroom is between two adults and anything goes if both are consenting. If you wanna get a little out of your "comfort zone," have at it.
In real life I'm a short overwrght middle aged white guy. My hoppy personna is a tall young afrucan american Hip Hop star. I'm still wondering why the ladies don't believe it?
You are who you are, but to some degree just be what you want to be.
-- Modified on 8/1/2010 1:31:17 PM
Let's see Vegas and woman in bar drops cheesy line: Happens all the time, so don't let that be your barometer. Instead, decide what you want to experience. Respect is who you are and not something you turn on or off. If you decide that you want this or that, you likely won't be the person's first, so go for it and have fun. I had someone ask me to fist her. It felt weird at first until I saw how much pleasure she seemed to derive from it. I went with it. Takes all kinds in this world. Don't be shy or shocked by what people want or what they might ask you for.
and even here mentioning such things make for negative attention at times. Many like the unusual but seldom request till they meet. I have a very naughty blog on my site which opens the door to much imagination and helps allow the introduction of playtime fun.
Once I know someone is safe I am open to certain types of requests as long as sex is not mentioned. Please go to my website and check my blog out just for fun
Kisses Haley
My hobby persona is the same as I am. Possible a little bit more shy in the beginning of a section with a lady I don't know. But basically what you see is what you get. I like who I am and I feel no need to change that during a meeting with one of these lovely ladies. Sometime it is why I get to see them....
Like that dude a couple threads down. You can be like "how you like my horn?"
I treat the girls with respect. But in civvie life, I am reluctant to approach a girl that will probably not give me the time of day. With providers, I do not have to worry about that. I have never had a hot lady approach me, what a dream......
As I am over 60, I have no interest in anyone my own age, if I did, I would not be hobbying.....duh.
Would love to know how to approach a hot civvie lady in the age ranger I would be interested in. Any ideas???? I have never been very good at picking up chicks, even when younger.
Swim
"Would love to know how to approach a hot civvie lady in the age ranger I would be interested in. Any ideas???? "
I have some ideas. Here's a checklist:
1. Be 6'1" or taller.
2. Be Caucasian or something close looking.
3. Dress in tailored designer suits.
4. Never drive a car valued at less than 50,000 USD MSRP.
5. Talk loud.
6. Stand up straight and keep your chin up.
7. Don't be too fat.
8. Don't be too skinny.
9. Be at least a little muscular. But not too much.
10. Have a high status or influential/powerful job.
11. Be social with snobby, rich, and powerful people. Be friendly, but display dominance over them.
12. Ignore her emotional outbursts as if she is a kindergartner acting up - send her to the quiet corner.
13. Be good at useless schmoozing and small talk.
14. Keep good eye contact with her at all times (except for item 12).
15. Ignore people with low social status as if they are not there.
16. Be rich. If you are not, live beyond your means a little.
That's a start. I'll respond with more if I can remember more later.
With a little research and exploration during your sessions, you should be able to find some ladies who genuinely enjoy a little (or a lot!) of wildness. The right ladies will draw that side out of you if you'll open up and communicate.
Not sure what you mean by losing it completely.
a lady's wild-side can call the wild side out of me.
I'm a horse's ass inside and outside the hobby.
Was told I was a 'mess' this last weekend.
She's right. I do what I want, when I want. Missed not 1, but 2 planes, getting to where I was supposed to be at.
Fuck me!
Just glad I have a decent sized dick, know how to use it, and I'm cuter than shit! 
FYI loving women, liking to fuck, and/or having a kinky fetish or two does not equal "having a wild side".
If you really think you have a wild side, go rob a bank, piss on the front steps of a mosque, jump out of an airplane er...I dunno, drink milk a day after the experation.
Otherwise, just be content with the being the computer geek, janitor, stuffed suit salesman or whatever you are, who loves women, likes to fuck and has a fetish or two.
All the posturing is for not, as if she could really give a fuck.
It's the only time I can let "Norman" out to play.
