is it common or normal? probably not, for most. but this sort of thing has happened to me more times than i care to recall, with all different types of gents. there are some men who, if they sense any weakness in you (like you are submissive, timid, etc.), they will push your boundaries further and attempt to do things that they would never dare on a different sort of woman.
when i can tell that a client is trying to get BBFS, first i will gently/politely remind them to use a condom. if they still persist, pretend to not hear me, ignore me, etc., then i say so again, this time physically getting the condom and putting it on myself. i will also physically position myself in a way that would make penetration impossible. there are some though who will try to use physical force to go ahead anyway, prying/forcing your legs open with theirs, putting all of their weight on you, there are all sorts of tricks. if i come across someone like this, and i know that he is not the type to accept "no" for an answer, i will do what's necessary to move away from them (no violence, just move quickly), give them their envelope back and ask them to please leave. so far it has only happened twice to that extreme (where someone actually had to be asked to leave), most guys will snap out of that state of mind once they realize you are serious about the condom issue.
what do I do if a hobbyist insists to the point of forcing BBFS when that was not agreed prior to the appt. Is this common and normal?
I didn't know anyone did BBFS. In this hobby, there are way too many reprecussions. No provider should be forced to do that with anyone. You need to out the guy on the provider boards at the very least!
I may be naive but I didn't think that happened anymore.
Walk Out! Against your consent = Rape.
Because, If you do not have a strong sense of your boundries.
No one else will either.
BBFS is dangerous and is not an acceptable request.
this is another case of why we screen. and yes out him and then blacklist him.
He is dangerous.
you should never allow anyone to force you to do anything you do not want to.
I have to agree though, you may not be cut out for this business. I can't say for sure but you may not be. You need to be strong in your bounderies.
you need first to know yourself, and trust yourself and be sure this is what you truely want. It looks on the surface like a quick way to make a buck, its complicated and has much depth. If you are not a strong woman in your self worth and convictions, it is no place for you to be. It is a very complicated business and you need to be able to handle all aspects of it.
Take some time to rethink your choices. I don't know you or what brought you here, but I do know, if in any situation you are uncomfortable and you still allow it to happen, or you were not comfortable with a choice but you did so anyway, got pushed into it, or felt forced...you my friend are in over your head. Even in this business hon, no still means no, and should and usually is respected. I am so sorry this happened to you. Please also go get tested soon as possible.
Good luck to you I wish you well.
Nicole~~
-- Modified on 7/23/2008 11:35:23 PM
That kind of behavior has nothing to do with etiquette. If you told him no and he persisted, then he violated you. Get tested. Out him to the other ladies.
BBFS is not normal, and as far as I have experienced, it is not common. Take care of yourself.
I absolutely agree with everyone here: making a professional lady do something she does not want to do is simply rape (though good luck charging a client with that in our puritanical legal system.)You should post his name. As everyone has also said you have a right and an absolute need to be comfortable with who you are and what you want and do not want. As an aside, the best and most attractive providers are the ones who have the most solid and confident sense of themselves, who they are and what they want.
-- Modified on 7/24/2008 4:36:00 AM
The previous responses are quite correct. The lady always takes control over services offered... or NOT! And no one offers BBFS in this day and age.
If this is requested, then FIRMLY state that there has been a misunderstanding, and that is NOT a menu item.
If the male (for surely he is no gentleman) persists, than you are in a bad spot. The encounter is over. PERIOD.
Tell the guy to take his donation & GET OUT! You grab your cell & clothes & lock yourself in the bathroom. Use the phone if you must.
Just having a plan can go a long way in preventing having to implement it. All gentlemen wish only safty for the ladies we enjoy & love.
skb
fall into the category of etiquette. It falls into the category of rape. Report him. Out him on the providers board. Blacklist him. Do whatever you can to get his name out there, and protect the other ladies. And---get tested.
No one should ever force you to do anything
He would be considered dangerous in my opinion
Along with UNcommon and ABnormal
First step, if he is tryin to force the issue, kick him in the nuts. Repeatedly and with with every ounce of strength you have. Then kick him some more.
Second step, make sure that when he finally regains consciousness and slithers away, not one red cent of the donation is kept by him.
Third step, report him on every black list on the internet.
NO ONE has the right to force you to do ANYTHING you are not willing to do, and BBFS is NOT something anyone has the right to expect of you.
Hobbyist don't get to forcibly insist on anything from a provider,PERIOD.
is it common or normal? probably not, for most. but this sort of thing has happened to me more times than i care to recall, with all different types of gents. there are some men who, if they sense any weakness in you (like you are submissive, timid, etc.), they will push your boundaries further and attempt to do things that they would never dare on a different sort of woman.
when i can tell that a client is trying to get BBFS, first i will gently/politely remind them to use a condom. if they still persist, pretend to not hear me, ignore me, etc., then i say so again, this time physically getting the condom and putting it on myself. i will also physically position myself in a way that would make penetration impossible. there are some though who will try to use physical force to go ahead anyway, prying/forcing your legs open with theirs, putting all of their weight on you, there are all sorts of tricks. if i come across someone like this, and i know that he is not the type to accept "no" for an answer, i will do what's necessary to move away from them (no violence, just move quickly), give them their envelope back and ask them to please leave. so far it has only happened twice to that extreme (where someone actually had to be asked to leave), most guys will snap out of that state of mind once they realize you are serious about the condom issue.
If a hobbyist FORCED you to have any type of sexual interaction that you were protesting, saying no to, didn't want...that's RAPE. Report his sleazy disgusting ass.
BUT!!!!! IF by "force" you simply mean that he nagged you to death and you were weak willed enough to give in, then it's your own problem and you've now created one more BAD client that no girl will be able to really deal with. Every time he sees a lady from now on he will trot out the, " I fucked so-and-so bare back, why not you," line.
I'm sensing that your willpower and confidence may be shaky, and you may not feel strong enough to implement the very important recommendations given to you. I think the best way to ensure that you indeed carry them out is for you to communicate a commitment to so to this board. I recommend this not in an attempt to be condescending, patronizing or judgemental, but purely to empower you to take care of yourself and the rest of the ladies and gentlemen that could possibly be affected by this persons behavior. If you do choose to communicate your intentions, please keep us updated on your progress and welfare. I wish for you good health, and the courage to do the right thing.
Just remind him not to cum inside you.
Is this a serious question?
Thank you so much to everyone for the responses. I guess, I am kinda in the dark; I am somewhat new and will follow the wise advice I have received.
and if he could just wait a minute while you get the swab.
the comment about BBFS not agreed upon prior to appt. Does ANYONE agree to that in this day and age??? If a hobbiest tells you that so and so does, don't believe him. They LIE. I've had several clients tell me that "so and so always allows me to go bareback as I am a good client. Hopefully, one day you will to." There is no way in hell that I will allow that to happen.
As for "forcing" it, as soon as you feel him trying to enter you, take your hand and grab it as hard as you can. Pull it out, lead him towards his clothes (while still holding tight) and tell him he has two choices. Put his clothes on and quietly go out the door, OR you will continue to drag his sorry di*& out into the hall naked...
Alot of this can be avoided with your attitude. If he feels he can take advantage of you, guys like this will. If he knows that you will castrate him, he won't push the issue. lol
Now that I just lost half of my client base talking about castrating them... lol
stay safe,
Kari
.. but it will make me think twice about about some of the activities we have shared. A certain chair activity comes to mind. I will have to remove any sharp objects in the room. 
C_K
-- Modified on 7/25/2008 3:14:22 PM
CK,
You have nothing to worry about as you have been nothing but a gentleman!
Besides, you liked the chair too much...
Kari
I am a little new, so I do not have enough reviews for the private board. Where do I go to do this? This is a very frequent hobbyist. I really had to fight him off and need to warn others about him that are entirely independent like me. This is real people! I screened him with basic info., but I later learned that he is a complete nut and placed me an a HUGE amount of danger. I have encountered him early and do not want other to go through this. Or you could ignore me and let another more experienced provider out him if she survives the painful ordeal. He needs to be quarantined off. Please let me know how to out him.
And rape is a crime. If he could make it out the door alive after I kick his MFA, I'd report him.(just joking, well, maybe not)
Just because we do this line of work doesn't condone this behavior.
You need to post him on the blacklist sites.
Check your PM.
-- Modified on 7/26/2008 8:48:50 AM