Everyone seeks another person's opinion on cancellations and no shows on this board.  I see one very young woman consistently, and we have never cancelled and if there is something I do not like I let her know and we talk it out.  She is not my girlfriend, but I have sex with only her because she is so cute and so good at it.  I am certain she sees some other people, but I cannot get away from her in my mind.  I guess I do not have to post threads saying hey guys do not do this, or hey ladies let's cut through the shit.

There has to be others that see only one provider pretty exclusively, and I wonder is it just me that gets into little disputes with this provider I am seeing exclusively.  Do other men take it to task to discuss issues with women they have a monogamous situation with on this board?

your situation sounds more like an "arrangement"

You are in love. I get it.  

The reasons you are getting into spats with her is bc you don't like her fucking other men. You have become jealous of her and you instigating your little arguments is your way of getting back at her.

So take my advice that you will never take. Change your outlook on this girl or walk away from her. I would suggest the latter as I don't think it is really possible to do the former.  

Remember something...she is not YOURS. She is OURS.

Exclusivity doesn't usually end up well in committed relationships so why would it work in professional ones if you think of her in more than just a professional way?

AND he gets into "spats" to boot.

Sounds like a job that even Jack may not want to take on.

monogamous with MUTUALLY monogamous.  Just because you only want to see her doesn't mean she only wants to see you.  Yours is a familiar situation with guys that fall in love with their hookers.  Until she tells you that you don't have to pay anymore because SHE loves YOU, then you are just a customer to her, an ATM with a dick that gets jealous of her seeing others.  I used to have a girl that I saw exclusively . . . . . on Tuesdays.  What kept me sane was having other girls the rest of the week.  We never argued because she knew if she did, I would miss the next Tuesday and see someone else instead.  I would echo some of the other advice from veterans here and tell you to either stop seeing her, or else add a few other girls to your rotation to keep things in perspective.  I think you're too far gone on this one to change your attitude to what it needs to be to have a hooker as a RL girlfriend.  

Isn't that just one of the many beautiful things about NSA sex?  

I cant say I have never had a minor issue with a gal I have seen more than once, but before they become "spats" (plural) I will have moved onto the next girl on my list.

I just don't need any real drama in this realm. I can get that in the civie world.

It's always the ones I'm crazy about that this shit happens too.  I guess it's like a cosmic joke.  One moment they are wonderful and lovey-dovey, the next they're shoving me out the door.

Well, at least I know some who are low drama and reliable, so I shouldn't complain.

too much high maintenance IMO... been there, done that...  
It sounds like shes your AFT and have a close relationship just keep it like that..

-- Modified on 2/9/2017 4:00:57 PM

are in a relationship with her in your mind. I only had one client tell me that he has a problem with my work and what I do with other men. He ended up telling me that he had fallen in love with me and that the thought of me doing stuff with others hurt him and he needed to stop seeing me in order to get over that. What you are feeling towards this "very young woman" is to realize that unless you two have established a legitimate relationship, meaning boyfriend and girlfriend then she is free to see or do whatever or whomever she desires. I know that feelings develop and lines are crossed but this goes beyond client/provider. You have feelings for her, stronger than lust and you need to deal with them. You have sex with only her because she is so cute and good at it? lol. Trust me she isn't the only one cute and good at it. I have been astonished from my experience in this business by the skilled men that I have met! Men that left a hell of an impression on me and left me speechless and it was more than one! There should be no spats. I believe that's why guys pay us lol. We get together, do our thing and depart. No spats, just smiles and good memories. Just realize what you are experiencing goes a bit deeper.

The ones suggesting you see other providers with are dead on.
Also, keep in mind she has bills to pay, maybe a lifestyle to maintain- wether she sees you the same way or not, providing is her job.
You could A. Pay for her exclusivity, ie sugardaddy the heck out of it
               B. establish ground rules, say, we never discuss your job
               C. try your best for some perspective- see other providers
If you can't accept her work, or put her in a position where she doesn't have to work, or figure out some ground rules that will keep your sanity in tact, it would best for you, and her, that you move on.

I've found the "little arguments" that arise in situations like this are like others have said, punishing her for her job, or it's usually an attempt to establish intimacy or an emotional bond (anger is a strong emotion). And it will only get worse unless you figure something out, or, if possible, communicate with this provider and establish what her needs/feelings are on the situation.

Continue on.   Just watch your expectations and you should be good.  In other words, do not project your thought on to her.  

When it's not working for you - move on....

So true, even from the hooker side.  Once you have a spat with someone, time to move on.  Keep this world fun and drama free.

wow- sage words.

I was in an arraignment with an escort that would be considered exclusive. I say exclusive because it got to the point where I only wanted to see her and she stopped charging me for her time. I still made sure she always had spending money but never gave her more than I could spare at the moment. This arraignment went on for more than a year. She would come over and occasionally we spend days together. We did trips to NYC, Las Vegas, Paris, Rome and Istanbul and a couple of cruises. Had the time of my life! I made sure her birthday and Christmas were special.
It ran its course when she started coming by hours after she said she would be there. I knew she was working during the time we were together, I accepted her working as an escort, always did. We never had spats about her job but I started feeling like she was taking our friendship for granted showing up late.
When we first entered into our agreement I told her " Lets have fun until it isn't. It got to the point that I stopped calling to get together and she understood why, she's pretty intuitive and smart along with being drop dead gorgeous!.  
We still get together occasionally, what can I say she's the best sex I've ever had.  
Live and let live...

-- Modified on 2/9/2017 6:30:28 PM

You already understand that she is not your girlfriend.   But, more importantly, she is not your possession or your pet. Don't ever try to control another person; she is just as free as you are to have sex with whom ever she chooses.    

If you truly did care for her other than, as you said, "only as a young, cute, good fuck", you wouldn't have a problem.

Well said. Most people who hobby long enough go through this. Like your stocks, keep your providers diversified.

Sounds like you have an arrangement of some kind, even if she sees others (and she does), unless you can afford to fully support her month to month.  

Just watch your mind and heart. You are being for the lack of a better word,  loyal and faithful in a hobby that is not loyal or faithful. You guys click, but if she needs time or space give it to her. You are still paying for it so without the money,  what do you have?  

Enjoy her company while you can, but it's actually good (in hobby terms) to see even 2-3 others from time to time. You don't owe her every visit.

Have fun man.

-- Modified on 2/9/2017 8:13:06 PM

retires, or whatever, you are back to square one as almost being in "newbie status" with no one to give you a recommendation.

You are becoming romantically involved.  Not good!  I've been there and in my case the feelings were mutual.  she said I didnt have to pay anymore.  I offered financial support and love but she still chose to continue working. It ended badly.

Damn good I hate to lose her.  I have shared her photo with a friend who has seen photos  of women I see on TER, and he stated for once I can say I am impressed.  I know it is about the money, and she is hooked on my wallet, and I am hooked on her sex.  She will spend regular time together for free, like having a drink at a bar, but the sex is never free.  However, I live in Las Vegas and she comes in at a great price compared to TER providers.   The sex is so damn good that for once I can say I am having a difficult time giving it up.

At disputes and monogamous.  Even if you are exclusive  doesn't mean she is or has to be. That is on you and why do you want to pay someone only to dispute them? I do this for fun and kink, and if a client would argue or bitch at me, we won't be doing another session.  I am happy, care and drama free,  work is no exception.  

Remember what it is and enjoy it. Don't complicate things.

I am at a loss because she will charge me just $400 for 2 hours, and she is so damn good in bed.  She is so hot looking too, that is if you like a girl with a couple of tattoos and a long slender body with tiny boobs and perfect nipples.  It is hard to pitch it out the door.

For a provider to "gift" you with OTC time as a thank you for your loyalty and continued patronage. It's also not uncommon for hobbyists that have not experienced this before to misconstrue it to be more than it is.  This becomes a gray area in your mind, but not in hers. She knows exactly what she needs to do to keep you hooked on her. The arguments are because you want the relationship to be real, and that's not what she does with customers. Sex is ALWAYS good with a regular, so you can't impute anything from that.

Is after the first time we met she said to me PLEASE STAY.  Then one time she fell asleep on me, and she said I HOPE YOU WILL STILL SEE ME.  Then one time she walked out on me, and I bitched through a couple of texts and I said I AM NOT GOING TO BOTHER YOU, and she types back NOOOOO.  She plays the same shit with me.  I wish she would find some other guys to pay her well, so she would not feel dependent on me.  I would miss her, but I had it and time to move on.  I will admit to being attached just a bit, and you would too if you had some 21 year old jumping on top of you and shoving your dick up her pussy and fucking you bareback, staring you in the face,  and telling you that you can do anything you want to me.

Now it sounds like you want to out her , possibly from one of your reviews ? And , by mentioning bareback sex with her you're trying to make sure everyone knows and won't go after her themselves . Some guys will seek her out and will be now barebacking her also ..... good luck but I think you just lost credibility here and , respect . Actually , good luck to both of you , you'll need it .

Well I wish she would not say to me that she only wants to fuck one person, but at the same time she is considering launching a career in the porn industry because they said they make them stars.  I reminded her there are only so many Jenna Jameson players in the business,  A lot of women get taken advantage of and leave with little real earnings in the end,  So she likes to tell me she wants to see one person a week.  As long as she is not taking that money and giving it to some loser guy who can't earn his own income.  Diagnose her statement of wanting to only see one person please.  That is what she told me last week in bed.

Other issues telling me her ex was a heroin addict, and another heroin user likes her but scares her when he is nodding out, and another boyfriend does some kind of work with fake IDs and he had her smoking meth.  She pulled her little meth pipe out in front of me one day, and I said be careful with that shit.  I told her that you are not with the right crowd in my opinion,  If the heroin addict is Keith Richard or a budding Kurt Cobain then take the chance.

She drinks way excessively too and she sometimes forgets what fucking day of the week it is,  I am 62 and she is 21.  I told her only old people forget what day of the week it is,  You are young and not supposed to be at that point yet,  Two times she forgot what day of the week it was, so I know she is staying up too many hours and forgetting what day it is,

It is just a phase I am going through, but the problem is sometimes you cannot find your way out of those phases if you are suffering from depression due to drug usage,

So I coked out once in life and wound up in jail, and I see her as potentially falling into this drug trap and I hate to see it happen,  She will G out in front of people at their house, and I said you better watch that because someone could take real advantage of you.

The first time she came over she wanted me to fuck her without a condom.  I did not do it, and if she becomes a sex worker with clients  to be reserved in what you allow to everyone.

Or this nonsense she wanted me to bring her into my work place.  I work with very feminist overweight women, and they would wonder what is he doing with that girl, and I wonder why do you want to see my workplace.

She could leave tomorrow and I would miss her but I would get over it because I have other good things in my life.  She is 21 and I am 62, so I would be stupid to think this would be a problem free affair if it ever happened.  I am not really pursuing that.

I just want her to watch who she associates with, and not go off the deep end with drugs.  You could think you have your shit together when in reality you are getting ready to take a fall.

Unfortunately for you, you can't see that you are a grown ass man who is overcome by his emotions and codependency, going after a SINGLE 21 year old GIRL!

You are not being gentle! (I read the rest of the thread.)

YOU are a grown man. YOU are an example. And if YOU see something is unhealthy for both you and her, YOU need to take the lead and the example and cut this shit out - and cut it off. EVEN if she asks you to stay!

You know better than this!

You're a GROWN man - out of control with your emotions going after a young 21 year old woman!

You know this is unhealthy, and you are still pursuing it, when you should be pursuing help.

How dare you blame a 21 year old young woman fresh to adulthood for YOUR actions!

-- Modified on 2/10/2017 7:13:04 PM

She should be able to cut anyone off that she can, but she belongs only hourly to people, and even then - she is still her own.

Until she is married. Then I would say the guy has a little more to say about her life and what she is bringing home.

But seriously, great post. Especially this part, because I believe it is easy to fall prey to this. We are grown ups, and when we see it getting too out of hand, we need to cut it off or work it out. Unfortunately, with a 21 year old woman who is probably new to this lifestyle, (maybe,) it has to be cut off.

The brain is not fully developed in the decision making until 25 years old. Physically, we are not fully developed and still forming our discernment and action on decision making until we're 25. Unless she developed early, she's not in a place where the OP can start badgering her with this territorial stuff, especially if she wasn't taught how to navigate these sorts of things via upbringing or mentorship throughout her life.

After reading more if the thread one thing is clear. YOU NEED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM THE HOBBY AND REPRIORTIZE WHY YOU ARE HERE ABC HOW YOU GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS .

Everyone needs to take a break once in a while. Take a month or two away, and find one or two you can talk to. People in the hobby but who do not know you who can offer a fresh perspective

Yeah, I have to mainly agree, the OP is kind of a douche. I started feeling a bit sorry for him as I do with most of the "I've fallen for a provider" crowd. (My pity doesn't stop me from razzing them of course), but the more I read what he has to say, the less I like him. I would say the "less I respect him" but how much less than zero can you get?  

The girl is obviously fucked up, (if even half of what he says is true, but of course the vote is still out in that respect) but even if she is fucked up, at 21 who isn't at least a bit fucked up? At 62 you have no excuse. Getting barebacked by a 21 year old is hardly an excuse for bad, dumb, and totally fucked up behavior. Not to mention barebacking someone who is not only a hooker but a meth head, IV drug user to boot is beyond dumb.

Now it looks like he is out to punish her by leaving enough breadcrumbs for us to figure out who she is. Yeah the OP is a real POS all right. Most douche bags like him have the sense to post this kind of crap from behind an alias.

Some of them WANT to be stuck in "the spell". And whatever - as long as both parties are having fun with it, it's ok to play that fantasy - the "i'm addicted to him/her" "I'm in love" blah blah

but when it gets to the point where someone is out to hurt the other in any way, shape, or form with ill intent to get revenge - it's time to bail. Immediately. On both ends.

This guy is a piece of work.  

He's 62? The only other thing I have to say is - What-the-fuck?

From an outside perspective it seems to me that she is hooked on having the steady no effort (screening, scheduling, general bs) paycheck, and you're whipped on the pussy.  Seriously, if you are in Vegas you practically have near infinite options of girls who would be just as amazing between the sheets, if not more so, than her.  You need to break the pattern and try something else.  It's absolutely absurd to me that anyone would have a spat with their provider or have to deal with bratty behavior.  

I think you may have an unhealthy infatuation, and my prescription is a good dose of sex with other people. You shouldn't be dealing with this sort of stuff, not even if you were paying $100/hr.

Brother, you said all I needed to hear: junkie ex-boyfriends, meth use.  Dude, run, don't walk.  Hell don't even skip. RUN!  What you walked into is a proverbial wall of shit that can be filed under "crap you don't need in your life."

You can't fix her.  You sure as hell can't save her. She's got to want to do that on her own.  You're not her father, so please stop trying to be that to her.  I personally wouldn't touch this with a 10 mile pole.