while making(or deciding to)that appt.? I have experienced all three.


The robotic approach: Here are the facts and figures guys. Make your decision. Don't bother me otherwise before and after our appointment.

The schmooze: Where the ladie in question has some interaction with you. Everything that she says,you know, is a schmooze but it sounds oh so wonderful.

The cultivation: I don't really think this one needs an explanation. Cultivation does mean different things to diff. people though. This option,of course,assumes 'within reason'.

I choose cultivation. It has however backfired at times. I can't think of a greater disappointment than spending time with someone void of personality.

My response depends largely on what type of initial email or phone call I receive.

If a fellow calls and says "are you taking appointments today?"  with no introduction.. no 'hello'... He is going to be treated differently then a man who calls and says "hello, is this ALEA? well I"m joe bob jones and I'm in Dallas for the evening from Atlanta. " etc etc... or even one with less info "hi, this is Bob, I was reading over your website and I think we'd get along..."  Want a conversation? Make conversation.

Same with email..  Don't expect to get some extra personal friendly response from a cold impersonal one line contact.

hugs, ALEA

of my attraction to a lady because I met her at a M & G or exgaged in some banter here on TER.  This includes a certain lady in San Diego (since retired) and another wonderful lady in Phoenix.  No, I'm not excluding the wonderful ladies in Florida who I first exchanged PM's or e-mails with before a wonderful date or dates.

I mean, why do I have to pick.  I've gone "shopping" on Eros, and found excellent times.  I've been schmoozed, and had great times... and I've been cultivated, ripened in the glow and plucked like a plump, juicy, red (near rotten) tomato...

Thing is, they each have their place, and each comes with its own set of benefits that are to be used where their characteristics fit the unique set of circumstances you find yourself when you "get the urge"!

Hmmm... I guess I fall into the grey area between your options. I don't schmooze, I dislike fake interchanges in any aspect of life and avoid engaging in them in the hobby.

I don't necessarily "cultivate" via electronic communication. This medium is just too easily accessed to have such conversations floating around in cyberspace.

But nor am I robotic per se. I do tend to keep communication simple, but not entirely devoid of personalization.

So I'd say I keep it polite and professional. No specific details obviously. I think I converse the same way in this biz as I do in any other business correspondence, timely and with courtesy. I do so for a number of reasons;

one: I can't afford to spend a great deal of time in email conversations. We ladies receive a lot of email contacts and to invest that much time with every potential client could be hugely time consuming.

Two: There is unfortunately an element of this industry that seek nothing more than to engage in lengthy email communications with a lady, wasting a lot of time without ever booking.

Three: I'm just not comfortable with having such dialogues recorded in written format.

Four: I make a point of spending time TER chat so anyone wishing to get to know my personality (and tendency for sarcastic wit) can meet me there in a neutral forum.

I know with my contacts of ladies, the first time I contact her, I am fairly simplistic if I am using email.  I put out my questions if I have any etc and then go from there.  

If I have already seen the lady, then that's different.  I believe in trying to keep it semi-professional in the initial contact.  We will have time to get to know each other if we meet etc.  At least that is my opinion.

I like a couple eamils and a phone call but I don't waste your time by yapping about bs and never giving you the info you need to verify me. I have heard that some indy ladies miss agencies because of the time it takes to screen, smooze, and actually figure out which guys are even going to book. I usually include my age, race, and refs in the first email and the date I want to book so the lady knows I am serious. Then we can get into talking if she likes, but at least she knows I am not a time waster.