There's this thing about identity that P4P folk can't be expected to get beyond, I suppose, but it queers discretion right out of the gate. And that is that the generally social question, "What do you do?" means what do you do to earn a living. But when a client walks into an incall, that's one aspects of his life he probably wants to keep private. A guy who has a dry cleaning business, for instance,  really might not want all the women he's visited over the year stopping into his plant, dropping off their cocktail dresses, and gently reminding him that they're still around and reminiscing about what a good time they had together a couple months ago.

Women keep their personal lives to themselves, for obvious security readons, and men are promised that any information given in screening will be promptly deleted from files.

But the question of how a man makes a living is almost always asked, in one way or another, either in screening or in the initial chitchat at the beginning of the session. And because a lot of guys have their ego and sense of identity grounded in their profession, they love to tell all about it to a woman who takes so much interest in getting to know him.

Why do women put so much importance on learning this?
Do other men find it a question they have to dance around, trying not to lie, but struggling to not tell too much?
Is there any chance at all that someday we can talk about our other hobbies or recreational pursuits instead of our careers when asked, "What do you do?"  

And if the guys responds, "I work in an office," how many providers will let it go at that?

Or, do most men feel this is an innocent and welcome question?

END OF MESSAGE

If it makes you uncomfortable you should definitely avoid the ladies who require that info.  

And when you meet with ladies who don't require it, you could indeed offer up what you do for fun! Say "I play golf" or whatever. It's in those cases usually just a way for someone to get to know you better. In that case they'd surely rather hear about your passions than what you do to pay for your passions

I hate it, though. I usually answer with what I *like* to do. Instead of that, I usually ask people what they like to do with their spare time - I'm always surprised at how often that throws people off.  

Two more points:  
1. Talking about your general profession is not indiscreet. "General" is the key word.
2. You do realize that you're free to make shit up?

When I get into a "real" conversation with a provider. I feel the experience will be ruined, as we don't have a "real" emotional connection between us. She can fake it if she wants, I'm not going to.

Make shit-up, what is this civy dating?

 
What's wrong with telling the lady it's none of your business and irrelevant to our encounter?

The only problem with making shit up is you have to know enough about the shit you make up to have something to say about it in a follow up question. Once I lowered my standards and said, " I work in a bank," and the lady knew far more about what goes on in banking than I did. So...that was awkward.

Otherwise, I liked what you had to say, and pretty much agree with the social approach.

Everyone knows what I like to do. i like to "drink, gamble and fuck hookers" but not necessarily in that order. lol

Personally I think a couple of the ladies and a couple of the men are going a bit over the top on this one. I agree with your response, it's a "General" question IMO, and one that many guys like to not only answer, but answer in excruciating detail, as if anyone really cares about some guys boring career as an actuary?

I think Mari's response from P&R is one of the best. He is an "unemployed porn star" lol

If the money's in the envelope, he can pay the fee.

Give it a whirl...hours of fun for the whole family (hopefully she's not entertaining in her home with kids...that's a problem)

Do you run a back ground check on her legal name?

He wasn't asking about screening before the date but about when the question is asked during the date.  Also, while I'm sure you treat such information with discretion whenever you get it, far too many girls don't and could use it to harm the client.
All that said, I don't see why the OP is bothered by the question if it's a casual one asked during the session. It's just an attempt at making conversation and I don't think she expects a truthful answer.  It's all part of the fantasy.  Does anyone really believe that when she tells you her "real" name you actually got the real one?  
In case anyone was wondering, I'm really a male fitness model and photos of my penis are regularly used in the "After" shots in Male Penis Enhancement ads.  I am known as "Fabio."

I don't think they are really prying or for that matter particuarly interested in a gents occupation. It's just a conversational icebreaker.  

When I'm asked that question [ from almost every Provider I meet for the first time] I usually respond  
"Well, I don't mind telling you , but it will be a lie".

That remark tends to steer the conversation a different direction.

I usually say, I can tell you, but then I'll have to kill you.

 
I like to follow that up with - how about some OTC after? Funny thing is they usually say YES! followed up by "but then I will have to kill you"... it's kind of hot

END OF MESSAGE

I wholeheartedly agree with you 100%!
I will premise my answer with some background for those who aren't so well versed. Then Ill deliver the promissory punchline from my headline.
I will visit this backdrop briefly before moving on to my devils advocate senses that cannot be withheld from screaming out loud about this amongst many other topics. (but since it was brought up...)

I will give most managers, agency owners, or liaisons(whomever gets them started I suppose) the benefit of the doubt in saying while most courtesans and call girls or even hourly escorts or tour guides may be versed in legal measures(rarely) or at least personal security defenses(only in higher end spots or gals who've begun there) may be attuned to security risks be it during beginning screening, phone call, directions, checkpoints, arrival perimeter check, personal awareness checklist- exits, windows, does the guy have running shoes or is barefoot, is he comfortable and his body/actions aloof or is he tense and very aware)(LADIES  take notice! be aware of these things every room you walk into it has saved a friends life more than once. The only time bad things happen to us gals is when we slack off on our own intuition, this is how I was prepared at least)

So I digress- if a lady is well versed in security as well as current events and other common popular topics as the more popular and MUCH less tawdry GIESHA is known to be as a hostess for long evenings be it alone or to impress business associates (we are only there to make you look better, lighten the mood when necessary or not be seen at all)as we shall say. The better a lady is at tuning her responses, and reactions to her hosts bodily reactions( even the subtle or insecure moments he may be unaware of as these are when a the best of ladies see a call to action to ease and bring support where her gentleman caller feels there is none. It is our sole purpose, our reason for being and our training to bring you the fantasy evening, the relaxation after a long days work, or the massage after a grueling training. Its also a good courtesan's purpose to arouse stimulating and cerebrally emulsifying conversation when needed yet never when unwanted.  

In conclusion-
The better ladies are not only taught to screen as if you may be their next ex husband(as frequently in higher end gals that is the very case) but to ensure their safety and once that is done is is to secure a comfortable and relaxing experience for herself and the gentleman as if both are relaxed they both enjoy the nourishing and enveloping experiences a bit more. Beyond that, she is expected to be kept abreast of any major current even topics, stocks, or news etc whilst remaining impartial as to never lose a long term client due to politics. This ensures she is as entertaining as a dinner mate for the evening as she will be if he were to be lucky enough to entice her to the rest of the evening.
Assuredly dating myself, I am of a generation where we are taught to stay current of events and fun light hearted topics in order to keep flow of conversation going and therefore ease the entire session along passively. We were also trained in keeping a certain tempo throughout the entire night so as to leave with all guest satiated and exhausted of any remaining "conversation".  
Many gals nowadays are not so well versed in much more than the latest american idol or americas got talent winner.  I can say from experience that after a few too many appointments where the gent has nothing to discuss you begin feeling you're pulling at straws to keep things cheerful when we are all here to have fun to begin with right?

With that last point I bring to point the original poster's query.  

Q)"why must ladies always ask about their work?"

A)These ladies may have screened you themselves or not- The lady may be asking test questions to feel you or your personality out as much as she may be simply making conversation. She may be feeling you out a secondary way to get a clue as to your personal mojo?Often, if you were screened by a booker(seems to be the norm nowadays) she may not have any idea what you do other than "He called from so and so site and had yadda yadda as references, he cleared he wants 3 hours-  
Please understand whether or not a lady screened you herself or not, we get thousands of inquiries, hundreds of phone calls, all to book a few appointments after screening etc is done, (be a gent and understand this alone) when you finally meet face to face, thats when the connection begins! Out the hundreds who call and the many who book , you actually were the one of very few who was on time, screened and cleared, and finally didn't flake. (har har she may be afraid she's looking at a unicorn, joke about the flake ratio skyrocketing with gents lately)
She may not be asking personal questions on purpose, she may not know any better. She may not watch cnn or bloomberg, she may not read the NY times or do the crossword in pen for a challenge.  
Take it as it is as light convo and at best a tender way to feel you out more and get a better sense of your particular mojo that evening.
Ive known gents for years that only after 5-7 yrs of sessions and meetings did they finally divulge their true life, Ive also known gents for years who threw it all on the table EXCEPT for their actual marital status as they were solely seeking the next ex misses. We know you all lie to us and it is actually our job not to take it personal.
*** It is our job to look like our pics, be on time, provide the particular consultation necessary for that client and be conversely tuned in to when it's time to leave.  
You pay us for YOU to come, you pay us to LEAVE
I also bring to the point a much more common and exactly similar in example to your own query.
(here's that damn polish devils advocate rearing it's head now)
Why is it that even after screening, and tossing a gents info once he passes-(which I now do for my own security as well as the gents for all security involved) do they ALL WITHOUT FAIL (never once in years and years has this not occurred at some point during a multi hour session(do I need to go as far back to before my first review and date myself further?)  
THAT ALL OF YOU WHETHER FIRST DATE OR TENTH,  BE IT YOU WERE SCREENED OR YOU FOUND HER SITTING AT A CIGAR BAR- YOU *A*L*L* ASK...
wait for it...
...no seriously every one of you old hobbyists and new all ask this...
drumroll....

"SO, is that your real name or what should I call you?"

to be directly followed with
"no seriously thats not your real name is it?"

There ya go, a nap and a joke in one response

-- Modified on 8/12/2014 3:23:24 AM

love this response!
We do assume you guys are lying when you say you travel and are a hit man and your last name is STATHAM
We always assume you're lying when you say you're single, but you're in hurry to get dressed and noticeably worried about blonde hairs...

we know you guys lie to us, we are paid not to care and to allow you whatever head fantasy you need for that amount of time with us-

its job security not to tell you we know you're full of  it when you say you're a secret agent and we are being vetted to be next "OCTOPUSSY" lmao

We are only here to love you when we are wanted and to disappear when not needed

A lot of us do it to break the ice a little. If you get this question asked over the phone, I could understand the hesitation on your part. I would only ask once I'm sitting down in front of the guy and we are getting acquainted. If you are calling a provider; we assume you are aware of the donation and you already have made your mind that you are willing/can afford to see this provider. So for the provider to ask such personal questions over the phone  can me a bit scary to  ask.

I  myself do not care if you are a truck driver or a wall street broker. As long as you have the manners and the respect of a sophisticated gentleman. And in all honesty I think most of the providers out there are very respectful of people's privacy. We want your business so we won't ruin our reputation by being sloppy with sensitive information.  

My advice... be relaxed about it and describe in general terms what you do for a living.

Jenna--or Mae--I'll refrain from asking which is your REAL name--you elucidation proves both insightful and provocative. I recall another woman from long ago whose skill you'd've appreciated. She was so much like you. Uncanny, really. Did you ever have an incall in Sioux City, Iowa? No, you're far too young to be the same woman.

But to the point, yes, to be sure, annoying each other in a variety of time-tested ways is indeed vital to the continuation of the client-provider game. And you seem skilled at it, possibly World Class material. And with a ladylike grace that many of your peers must certainly envy. So, yes, the questions we so abhor will no doubt be asked many, many times before someone with far more interest in the subject than either of us seem to have will devise a way to once and for all end them.

Until then, perhaps we can find a way, just you and me, to physically delight each other's imagination with a carnal exchange of compliments, both traditional and experimental, and for the moment cast discretion and caution to the wind.

Or, if that sounds a tad too risqué, perhaps we could just fuck and call it a day.

Your point is well taken, and I stand corrected to the degree that my OP focused on the annoying question posed by the provider with no admittance that, for sure, for sure, we klutzy gents certainly have a few such questions of our own, all as rude and crude as an act of God, and potentially just as dangerous.

I enjoyed your post immensely, and might decided to return to it and click the "like" button. We'll see. And, yes, the punch line was worth waiting for.

END OF MESSAGE

You are inevitably WRONG.

I am glad I skipped the "long" part of the post and simply skimmed to the "punchline"

The only time I ever ask "is that your real name, or what should I call you?" is if I expect to be in a position where I will need to know her real name, like if are dating and I might meet her "real" friends or if we are going to be traveling together. Other than that, I simply call ALL women, whether civvie or hooker, by whatever name they give me.

Sorry, but the post was weak, and the "punchline" even weaker.

END OF MESSAGE

...is when the name in the ad is too absurd to actually use without bursting into laughter. For example, if an ad name was something like Juicypoosie, or Lemondrop or Lippintongue, even Chocolate or Mango or Cherry or anyone who names themselves after a food (with a few rare exceptions), I ask if there is something else I might call them, or I just call them Baby or Honey (albeit another food name) or something like that.

But what the hell, most real names are pretty boring. Except for Gwendolyn. I always liked that name.

...though it seemed to be about screening and security. That wasn't what the OP asked.

I get asked any number of questions and to keep the conversation going I lie. Makes the client think I am giving him something special about me which sometimes can be a good addition to the GF experience.

And, yes, I'm sure most providers are respectful of whatever is talked about in session.

It is paranoid to imagine them chatting with other clients about what the guy the saw last Thursday did for a living. Still...I've been told some references to nameless clients that seemed on the brink of indiscretion, or would have been indiscreet had I known who she'd been talking about.

I find that among the people who know me, that it developed thrust. Like some sort of LaVeyian magic.

END OF MESSAGE

Most providers I've met know what I do and I don't see how it's a big deal.  Now if they start getting too specific it becomes a concern but those nosy ones are rare

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

I don't ask that. I don't ask ant personal questions, but if he wants to share that's fine...I don't want to talk about my personal life or make the relationship too personal. But to make small talk, I might ask if he enjoys his job or something like that...another instance where I might ask for work information is during the screening process, but only if he doesn't have references.

And asks very specific questions about it the day you met her?  

Makes a guy wonder what's really on her mind.  Rather,  it makes a guy stop wondering what is really on her mind.  lol

Not because they really want to know the answer but because its kinda of safest possible topic.  It also gives you an opportunity to "invent yourself" and be the Super Hero you always wanted to be.  Look at RT - he convinced himself that he is this big shot financier.  Think he will pass on an opportunity to blab about how important he is for 45 minutes out of an hour long paid date?

Plus knowing your general occupation/position allows us to quickly decide if you are a potential "whale".


And last but not least, its because we just want to give you an opportunity to do what most people love doing the most - to talk about themselves.

Home? Really?

...their current situation in life, NOR the history of how all their aspirations turned out. Of course not here on this board, the guys, at least, all proudly expound on how they conquered every dragon they ever fought. Must be you have to only do those things you're sure to succeed at in order to become a first-class degenerate. Never my style, and oddly enough, apparently not the style of my closest friends of both sexes.

And how bringing all that crap up can in any way improve intimacy is beyond me. The same time spent in a kiss will tell you more about the person you're with than learning their life story, what they did in the past. No one's submitting a job application, so what was done in the past has been done.

If what women want to know is if the guy will become a regular, and they spend the time quizzing him to find out, he won't be back. Maybe that's why they hope so badly for a man who will stick around and spend some bucks.

That's my take, and that's the way a lot of people I know look at things. In every aspect of life. Nobody's protecting their secret agent standing or bragging about being made or having any more power than they have over anything beyond their own decisions.

One of us sees the world (le monde, pas la terre) through cracked sunglasses.

some providers talk a lot about things like that with their friends, and some of them even do so with their other clients. I've been a witness to this dozens of times, but fortunately I never really paid much attention to what "joe client does for a living" quite frankly I just never gave a fuck about other clients personal business.

I agree. I guess. It only takes one scorned or vindictive woman to cause a man a lot of trouble. But I don't worry about things like if a woman finds out whether or not I'm a vegetarian, or that I used to enjoy paragliding, or even that, as a young man, it took me a year and half of competitive fencing before realizing I would never attain World Class status. But, when it comes to where the money comes from...that's personal.

END OF MESSAGE

I'm single, so I really don't care about being asked about family or a million other general topics - but aside from being boring, the question about my work does seem a bit personal (as I only see ladies through P411 and avoid those who require more screening info) - so I usually give a very general reply.