Providing to me is not an alternative to a traditional career, but moreso part of the path to where I want to be, career-wise. I can only speak for myself, but I have held many jobs and done well. However, my options for employment were very limiting. As a student, I can spend hours and hours doing high-stress, repetitive tasks and still not be able to afford my rent earning seven bucks an hour. I started working when I was 15, and have always held people-oriented jobs such as food service and retail. While I enjoyed certain aspects of my work, such as interacting some of the coworkers and customers, it was not overly rewarding, and I had to put up with a lot of sh1t for such a paltry sum. I like to live each day as though it is meaningful and significant (which it is!), and I don't follow the logic that I have to do things that I don't find worthwhile just because they have to be done. I mean, yes, I have to have a job and pay my bills.. but I certainly don't have to spend hours each day performing tasks that are useless in the grand scheme of things. I need to feel like I am making a difference in peoples' lives in some significant way, as well as doing something that is enjoyable, rewarding, and results in personal growth. Pouring coffee and serving plates of food, or ringing up sales on a cash register, did nothing for me in terms of contributing to society or enhancing my personal growth, and hardly paid the bills. While I am studying for a real, meaningful career in psychology working with kids and families, and consider my eduction my main "job" right now, I have to do something to pay my college tuition and support myself. Providing is the one job I have discovered that I truly enjoy, the one option available to me right now that I feel is actually teaching me something about the world and myself, and impacting others in a positive way. And it is the one profession that has enabled me to get out of debt and start planning and saving for my future, rather than feeling stuck and limited by my place in society. In addition, I have always been the kind of person who needs Adventure, and the kind of woman who decides things for myself rather than being told how to think. The fact that I am doing this because I believe in it, rather than listening to the ignorance of the penal system and the moral judgments of society, is empowering. Not saying that I like breaking the law, and I am very aware of both the risks and benefits of what I do, but I feel that the choices I make have real power behind them, in part because they are controversial. I see my job now as a provider, and my future career in family therapy, as complements to one another, and both components of the same journey. This work is financially and intellectually preparing my for both my future career, and sexually and socially enhancing my life skills and experience. I feel the skills I have as a provider will make me more successful in my life, personally and professionally. While it is part of my path to another career, I don't necessarily see it as means to an end. I can see myself continuing to do this, at least part time or on occasion, throughout my life span. On the other hand, I have always said that the moment I start to feel that I am not enjoying or benefiting from this, I will stop. It is not worth it to invest my time or energy into something that I have to force myself to do, whether that something is pouring coffee for seven bucks an hour, or providing companionship and sexual pleasure for 300. While we all have the need to support ourselves financially, it is not worth it to continue do
And one other thing.. I think that being a provider is a perfectly legitimate career choice in and of itself. As stated above, it is comparable to an unlicensed sex therapist, counselor, and/or teacher, and has a huge impact on people. While I personally am also studying for a "traditional" career path, there are many perfectly intelligent, employable women with good educations whose sole career choice is providing, because they enjoy it and are good at it. I think that is a perfectly valid choice.
XoXo
Marea
-- Modified on 9/30/2007 12:55:53 PM