Of course only answer at your level of comfort. But I’m curious for those who are married or in long term ted relationships — how do you navigate this world? Do you participate as a voyeur but not in practice? Do it with your wife or SO? Maintain a secret with strong opsec? Don’t ask don’t tell? Or maybe you do it with you SO consent?

I'd say most guys cheat. I'd also guess very few are voyeurs and not many do it with their wife or SO.  
The operational phrase is "deny, deny, deny."

I would venture to guess that many and perhaps most hobbyists are married, or in a committed relationship of some kind, but a man has to do what a man has to do.

Curious to hear a bit more of you story — ie how you started. When the habit formed. Now and why you got caught. How you found your way to a provider and what that experience has been like. Sounds like you ended up in a good place. Happy for you and curious to learn more either here or via PM

Interesting. Say more.

at least for the average Joe.

I am positive my wife know I hobby. It took years to get to this point. Even though she is a 60 yo 120 lb knock out blond who spends a least a hour or more each day at the gym. Her days of sex are over. Years ago before menopause we had a great sex life. Early on I left too many clues I was seeing providers. She was upset and angry and felt they might be a threat to her. I started to be very, very careful and never left any sign of what I was doing. Those years where difficult. Over time I heard about her girlfriends husbands having affairs' and seeing providers. I think over time she realized that I still had a sexual need but it was not a threat to her and her place in our world. It sucks for me , I wish we could go back to the days of good sex when she was in her 30s and 40s. She looks better and is more attractive to me than almost all of the providers I see. The last time we had sex was several years ago. It was painfull for her and she only did it for me.  
Hopefully this info may help others.          

...being a married female monger is really not much different. I've been doing this long enough to know how to cover my tracks and minimize suspicions. I'm lucky that I don't have a helicopter spouse that needs to know every single aspect of my daily life. I am also generous in keeping her happily shopping at high end stores for days on end

nice post. my take is that cheating is bad. u shouldnt cheat if you are married if your wife is not ok with it.
i have sex with my wife all the time and so i do not cheat. cuz i dont have an urge to. thank u for posting

Was due to fooling around with an old girlfriend, before I got into this lifestyle.
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Now in my second marriage I am a lot more careful.   My wife spends a great deal of time out of country visiting her relatives.  So that's when I play the most.  But if she is in country for long periods, I occasionally find an evening hour or so  on the way home from work.   It's risky, though.  But  I can't wait forever.

I totally agree!
I wonder how surprised the cheaters/liars would be if they found out their wives/SO were also playing around!
Cats away the mice will play!

Your wife is a 1,000-pound pansexual. Admit it.

That beast in the video looks like she could eat my girl whole as a between meal snack, all 90 lbs of her.  lol

My wife gave the best blow jobs for 25 years.  That's why I married her.

And anyone who lets his SO post here has ZERO creds to call out anyone else's game.

in this situation.  When they stop cold-turkey like that, it usually means they have discovered that YOU are cheating or else they are blowing someone else that they have come to like better than you.  

So that is your secret.  You treat so you can trick.

Posted By: lopaw

Re: She don't ask and I don't tell...
...being a married female monger is really not much different. I've been doing this long enough to know how to cover my tracks and minimize suspicions. I'm lucky that I don't have a helicopter spouse that needs to know every single aspect of my daily life. I am also generous in keeping her happily shopping at high end stores for days on end

I have been hobbying for 10 years or so but only do so when I travel alone, which is a couple of times year. It is partially because I live in area with low quality providers (at least I haven't found anyone) and I am not desperate enough to pay for low quality.  Limiting it to travel keeps the impact to the treasury and minimizes the risk of getting caught. SO probably has suspicions but prefers to avoid the subject, as it involves sex and she is going through menopause.  

Look....be careful...getting caught will be a problem....keep your mouth shut....watch your cell phone and computer trail....watch your spending....don't use a credit card....pay cash....tip well....Enjoy !

I'm honest with my wife and she is okay with it. We are there emotionally for each other but in the sex part not too much. We are affectionate but her meds kill her sex drive.

My story is almost identical to yours.   So is it cheating if the last time you had sex with your life partner is 13 years ago?

How did you start that conversation?

For the poor guy who  married a 1,000 lb pansexual beast and thinks it cool to see her gangbanged. But also would never cheat. I would say a review of priority's  is in order. The only person who is going to gangbang my 120 lb Blonde wife will be after I am shot full of holes and dead as a door nail. Every clip and weapon will be empty and the floor  will be littered with spent casings. But if I had a "Beast of Burden " such as a ox or cow as a wife I might feel differently.  As far as wife's and blowjobs, in the south we have a saying. Why does a bride smile as she walks down the isle ? Because she knows she has given her last blowjob !  Luckily for me the frequency did drop after marriage but the well never went total dry until she was in the 50 yo range.    

I could unsee this.  Lol

(Would have sent PM but stopped renewing my VIP so....)

You gotta stop letting your girl on this site posting under your name.. LOL  Maybe she can have her own ID... How about GaGamblersGirl ?  

Never partake within 100 miles of home and never on the same day as I’ll be coming home.  
Never bump into someone who might know me going into a apartment complex or hotel that I have no business being in and never on the same day so I can make sure all evidence of odors or makeup is gone.

It was brought up during marriage counseling.

Imagine you sign a contract with a restaurant that says you will eat only here for the rest of your life and nowhere else ever.  A year or two later, the kitchen informs you that they are closed and no food for you.  This repeats everyday for months.  At this point, I think you are being cheated.

Marriage is not a "contract", it's a commitment.  If you can no longer keep your commitment, then why not just get divorced and move on?  Why live a lie and be miserable except for the few hours a week you are fucking someone else?  You will be happier knowing that you can do whatever you want and you don't have to keep your lies straight.  

But what I remember about the commitment I made on my wedding day is that nothing was mentioned about sex. The commitment was about staying together for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.  Physical intimacy is important in a marriage I think, but not the sole determinant of whether two people are happy together, or not.  

there is not much I disagree with in theory, and I also agree that if the "couple" find outsourcing of sex a viable solution, then it could allow them to stay together without recrimination.  However, from what I have seen reading these boards for over ten years, the "outsourcing" is usually a unilateral decision by the husbands, not a decision by the "couple", and the wives don't even know about it.  There are many threads, not just this one, that concern keeping the cheating a secret.  If the wife knew and agreed to what the husband was doing, it would technically NOT be cheating.  I would venture to say that the number of wives who are onboard with their husbands seeing providers is a small minority of the total number, most of whom are doing it on the sly and go to great lengths to keep their wives from finding out, so I have to look at your explanation as purely academic because there are so few here that are doing it the way you describe, where the wife is a willing participant in the decision for hubby to use community funds to pay for sex with professionals.  

I think one reason a lot of people in committed relationships who see providers on the sly don’t tell their partners is because they don’t want to hurt them.  But they might be surprised what their partners would say if they openly discussed the problem.  If partners love and trust each other and each wants the other partner to be happy, and one doesn’t need or want sex, that partner might be ok with outsourcing, realizing “it’s just sex.”  Setting ground rules and sticking to them is important for the outsourcing to be successful.  

"But what I remember about the commitment I made on my wedding day is that nothing was mentioned about sex."  
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That is probably not true.  From Wikipedia article "Grounds for divorce (United States)  4.3 Abandonment or desertion:
"... However, refusing to have sexual relations with a spouse can be considered abandonment in some incidences. ..."
It seems that a marriage vow to "Love" is understood to include sexual love, even in the law.

let me assure you that “sex” never came up. 😏

Marriage is absolutely a contract.  If it weren’t then there’d be no laws governing how things get split up when the contract is broken.

That's absurd. Plenty of things in society (and even one's personal, private, individual life) which are in no way contractual are governed by laws and regulations. Marriage could be contractual I suspect (not a legal philosophy expert) but in such cases one would think the concept of a prenuptial would be redundant and those terms included in the marriage contract.

couples had this discussion at the same time they are discussing who's going to manage the finances, whether they are going to have kids, and other important things that often break a couple up if there is no agreement on how it's supposed to go.  With that said, I have tried to have this conversation with girlfriends I have had, and they mostly seem to view it that I'm not that into them and that's why I need more sex than what they can give me.  Ironically, the providers I have dated are more understanding because they also want to continue working.  It works for awhile, but I have never had a provider BF-GF relationship last more than a year.  It might be interesting to poll the married guys here and see what percentage have actually had this discussion with a SO.  With providers the conditions were easy to set down . . . . as long as she was getting paid and I was paying the ladies I was seeing, we agreed transactional sex is not cheating.  Nevertheless, most of them come to a point where they want me to be exclusive with them, but they still want to work.  The argument is, " . . . . but it's my JOB."  It's still not a level playing field, IMO.  

1.  I'll stipulate that the word "sex" didn't come up in your wedding ceremony.  Nor in mine.  That fact has not mattered to divorce laws.  
2.  What you're calling my argument is a pointer to history, mostly.  
3.   "If for example someone is no longer physically attracted to their spouse and thus stops having sex with them, that could be considered abandonment ... ."  Yes, that's what I was pointing at.  Not in "my argument", but in the laws of various states.  
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 I have not argued that it *should* be so, or that that is right or just, only pointed out that laws for a long time made it so -- as far as I can tell, not being a lawyer nor a scholar of the law.  
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But I suspect there are lawyers in this forum who could chime in with more authority, if they would.  I hope they will.

If a person is injured in a car accident, the person's spouse can also sue the person who is responsible for causing the accident.  In California it's called "loss of consortium."  Other states may call it loss of companionship, loss of services or lost intimacy.

cases where a spouse will have marital sex, but how they approach it is unsatisfactory to the other spouse?  For example, “She just lays there”, or “He doesn’t care at all about whether I have an orgasm or not”.  What do the courts have to say about that?  Do they realize that terrible sex can be as bad as no sex at all?

A bad blowjob is still pretty good.

are like pizza.  Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.  

Don't know. Never had a bad blowjob!

courts would say, but for me, it's similar to a car that doesn't run anymore the way it did when it was newer.  I would trade her in on a newer (younger) model.   Lol

That's the old joke, a woman marries a man hoping to change him and a man marries a woman hoping she'll never change. Both end up disappointed.

I was being serious.  I've seen this happen in dozens of marriages. Maybe those who are not taking it seriously are the ones ending up in P4P.  Lol

really sucks.  Just not literally.  

-- Modified on 12/19/2022 6:44:06 PM

A good wife who is is trustworthy stays in shape and keeps up her end of the deal is much like a classics car. You have owned it for many years. You also love it but you don't drive it because its got a few years on it and irreplaceable. Its given you much joy over your life but when its time to hit the road you take a new fresh model.    

Unfortunately, I have.  FOTB Chinese girls for some reason are not very good until they start doing 5 or 6 a day as sex workers.  The smart ones learn pretty fast.  Apparently, oral sex is not big in China for either sex.  After seeing some of the untrimmed bush on new girls, I can understand why.  Lol

give blow jobs?

Of course not. That's why I drive the new ( younger ) model !  

and keeping up her end of the deal!

than add in $5000+K/month "maintenance", child custody battles.  Just as I'm reaching peak earnings, let's voluntarily fuck up my life as much as possible.  I'll just start there...

I plan. I don't act impulsively.
I have routines in my life that allow for time away from the office and/or home.
I understand my SO's routines.
I manage my cashflow/spending habits consistently, ie,. whether I'm partaking in P4P this week/month, or not.  

Curious to hear a bit more about why, how this works for you, how you stay discrete and disciplined etc. here or via dm if you’re up for sharing

Billy Joel: "There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex."
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/billy_joel_107763

Does sex with an elder provider plateau at some point? Meaning, does a 55 year old provider still get the thrill of the game?

I would say a big no. However some fake it so damn well you will never know. Others with more experience can answer better than me .

known hundreds of mongers over the years, if you wait until they catch you fucking around, the outcome of a divorce will be much worse., especially if the other women are multiple escorts where the wife will perceive your cheating as callous and reckless when it comes to her health, and she will want to fuck you out of every dime that you have.  Having an honest talk that you have both changed with age and it might be time to take a break is much easier to swallow for most people than catching their spouse cheating.  Keep it friendly and unemotional and you have a chance to negotiate on favorable terms.  

I’m late to the game and only recently came back out of curiosity. I think I understand why GaGambler might not reply to my email now and shock to learn he got married and now while not doing reviews still he has a white listing 😂👍

You will need plenty of condoms, money the wife don't know about,  and some sneak away and  play time,

Just don’t tell your wife and be very vigilant.  Don’t disrespect your marriage by getting caught.  Make sure you make enough money so she doesn’t notice a couple thousand missing every month.  It’s not rocket science.  You live and then you die.  Just fuck sluts and get on with it.  

I HAVE WHAT YOU REALLY SAID ABOUT ME YOU FUCKING PIG!!!!!!!!

For the poor guy who  married a 1,000 lb pansexual beast and thinks it cool to see her gangbanged. But also would never cheat. I would say a review of priority's  is in order. The only person who is going to gangbang my 120 lb Blonde wife will be after I am shot full of holes and dead as a door nail. Every clip and weapon will be empty and the floor  will be littered with spent casings. But if I had a "Beast of Burden " such as a ox or cow as a wife I might feel differently.  As far as wife's and blowjobs, in the south we have a saying. Why does a bride smile as she walks down the isle ? Because she knows she has given her last blowjob !  Luckily for me the frequency did drop after marriage but the well never went total dry until she was in the 50 yo range.    

Once a day isn't enough? Damn!!!

Love your sex tapes on empflix

UMMM I don't remember the work wife please fucking refresh my memory.!!!!!!!!!!!! lying sociopath.

the meds are that she is taking.  There are probably a lot of guys here who would love to know how to kill the sex drive in their short, fat wife.  Lol

If you dont condone cheating wtf you doing posting on this board??

Use your phone to contact the lady but block her number afterwards so you don’t get caught, cuz trust me we don’t appreciate when we have wives call us back. I usually say wrong number and hang up.

Yep

Do YOU want to stop lying. For every lie to tell I'll back it w/ the truth

I'll do one better, I'll share a screenshot of a list of antidepressants and the level of special killing severity and let anyone decide!

I will have to disagree with you. Marriage is a contract.  A contract is a commitment.

So for those that hobby while married- do you wear your wedding ring during the session? Speak about your marriage during the session?

a new thread with this question.  It's buried here.  

Thanks! Thought that might be thecase, but for some reason this thread was on top of my feed.