TER General Board

Re: Farts
lester_prairie 12 Reviews 111 reads
posted

I had sisters.  

There seems to be a long-standing myth that women are just to dainty to fart. My ex claimed she never farted (dog-blaming is one way they do it) until I caught her on all fours on the bathroom floor. She claimed "I have air in my back." I laughed and told her that wasn't anatomically possible and she finally admitted I'd caught her in her farting position. Her next out was to say, "My farts are sweet." (they were not).
So here's the question: how many of you guys still believe chicks -- both civvies and hookers -- don't fart? And how many of you girls will cop to it?
Come on! Fess up!

GaGambler147 reads

Is anyone else here so fucking dumb that they had to "catch" their ex wife in the act of passing gas before they would believe that women actually fart like the other 50% of humans?

 
I would like to thank the OP for proving beyond all doubt what I have been saying for the longest time. "He's a fucking moron who needs his computer privileges revoked at the old folks home where he lives"

1) Your laughable attempts to stalk me by proxy are obvious to all. You don't have the balls to reply to me directly so you wait until someone else does like the pussy you are.
2) You need to ask Jack Dunphy to refund the money you spent on his Reading Comprehension 101 course. I never said I didn't "believe women actually fart" until I caught my ex "in that act of passing gas." All I SAID was "she claimed she never farted." If you are too stupid to understand the difference you probably should stop posting here until you take a real reading comprehension course. Because right now all you're doing is embarrassing yourself.

The thing I never heard until you said it is that there is a "farting position", and that a woman would assume that position with the intention of farting.
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If that's so, then maybe women don't fart because women never ever get into doggie-fucking/farting  position.   Is that, maybe, the myth that you are trying to discredit?  
.
'Cause folks I know, of both (maybe all 17) sexes, fart while sitting down or standing up or walking or ... whatever.

I have no idea why she thought that position would help her fart. I guess it worked in the past? Who the fuck knows? In any event, the obvious answer is all women fart. They just don't like to admit it.

All I have to do is giggle and I toot. I eat a lot of veggies. My ex used to call them princess poofs bc apparently, I toot all night in my sleep lmao

But the guy here who was thinking about booking an overnight just went over the hill.  LOL

Lol, that's ok. Every client I've had has sat at least in one toot of mine - it's bound to happen with regulars and dates where there is food - which is every date. Lol

Posted By: coeur-de-lion
Re: Good anecdote . . . .
But the guy here who was thinking about booking an overnight just went over the hill.  LOL

WICardinalfan122 reads

As established thus far, women do pass gas.  Been married twice, yes it is true.

A Pussy Fart, now that is something special.  I was banging a gal between marriages.  Twice, after very aggressive poundings her pussy farted after we came and I pulled out.    

Never before or after on any other lady I have encountered. However I am aware it sometimes happens.  Or so "they" say.

GaGambler191 reads

and it's actually rather common. You need to get out more often. lol

I learned this from a very hot hooker I've been with a few times. She was delivering a sterling BBBJ and I began fingering her pussy. Not long after that she queefed several times.
Later, she asked me not to include it in my review because "some guys get really turned on by queefs and they'll expect me to do it and I usually can't."
It was a reasonable request so, of course, I complied.
Personally, while I don't mind queefs, they don't particularly turn me on.

Hard to believe any man really believes this but maybe if your only intimate experience with members of the opposite sex is having a GFE with an escort and believing it's real I suppose it could be possible.

were the teachers in parochial school the one year before I was permanently expelled, and they farted more than average women.  Lol

Does she bluff the blanket if she farts in bed?!?!!! I do. lol

BillyBaloney136 reads

for everything there is a fetishist. farting is no different. don't take my word for it. search "fart" on porn hub or xhamster.  

you've been warned!

Boicpl104 reads

It happens during sex. A lady years ago let one go during an o. I couldn’t stop laughing. She was a good sport about it.

Especially when they leak out while you're eating her pussy.

is the deadly "shart", sometimes called a wet fart.  People getting older have to watch out for these.  There are three rules for guys getting older . . . . .

 
1.   Never pass up a bathroom.
2.   Never trust a fart.
3.   Never waste an erection.  

 
Live by these and you will eliminate 90% of the problems that come with being older.  The first two apply to women as well.  

Surely the third should apply to women as well?

I suppose if there was an erection within grabbing distance of a woman, then the third one would apply to as well. I think it would require her to be a bit of team player, though.  Loil

GaGambler172 reads

I think I would rather enjoy my erection in peace rather than have every OTHFB jumping on it when they had nothing to do with causing it. lol

in practice, the likelihood of me finding myself naked and alone in a room with an OTHFB is longer odds than being bitten by a great white shark . . . . . in Kansas.  Lol

Have you not noticed that erections are not exclusive to men?  I do greatly enjoy the triple girl-hardons that happen in my presence (and not by accident), and try not to waste them either.

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