A provider is married ? Would that tend to make you pass her over ?
Yes, I am married and no I do not hide it from Gents. It hasn't hurt me so far but I just thought I would ask.
I have had some gents ask me, "does Hubby know" well Hubby knows enough but it is just a topic we do not discuss. He does not answer my cell, read my emails, bother with the boards or my website. He chooses not to look, not to ask me questions and not to know anything about those I share time with.
Only thing he does desire to know is if I have seen the Gent before, a "yes" puts him at ease a "no" means text him when I get there and when I leave.
He does not know where I will be, I have a Lady friend for that. She has his cell, work and my home number in case of an emergency.
Thought I would fill you all in before anyone asks.
Feel free to leave your honest thoughts.
Thank you,
Tori

It really would not bother me as long as your spouse is aware of the situation and is okay with it.

A jealous husband is no different from a jealous boy friend and so it's always wise to not hide your occupation from them as it could lead to a possibly dangerous and/or embarrassing situation with your clients.

It's probably not wise to discuss this with a new client because it could affect the atmosphere of the first liaison.

Here's to honesty, but you may want to enact the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Good luck in your endeavors and keep the "booty" right (lol).

Thank you for your thoughts. I don't mention it but I don't take my rings off either. If they ask, yes I will answer. If they don't note my rings, I'm not bringing it to their attention.

That would be like having a gent arrive wearing his ring and saying "so you're married" how tacky would that be...a real mood killer I would think.

It is those SO's who don't know that I would be worried about. This occupation is risky enough without adding an angry Husband or boyfriend !

It makes me feel a little weird if she talks about him a lot, but just knowing she's married has never caused me to pass someone up.  

Once had a session with a provider while her husband was in the other room.  Not something I would do again.

I would find it very distasteful to sit and speak of a spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend unless one asks a question.
Now, some questions I have been asked have been way out of line but I answer them with a simple "that is not something I care to discuss."

I couldn't a session with my spouse in the other room, my mind would be distracted when it should be on the Gent I am with.

of my business... and it would be too tempting to discuss that with a provider in person...  so - not knowing keeps that discussion from taking place.

As long as your husband isn't waiting at the door to kick someone's ass when they leave, or cause a scene for anyreason at the place where you do this..it shouldn't matter and should be left unsaid..These Hobbyists pick you because there is something about you that turn them on, that make them want YOU out of all the other girls here, does it matter your married? I'm sure not to them, but i could be wrong about that, but it's your personal life, why air it?
Jay

her client is married?

In fact, I kinda find it hotter if I know the lady is in fact married.

I know most providers are married or have SOs.  It's a non-issue.  Actually, I often enjoy hearing providers tell me about their family life.

I have a Fav who I know is married.  (The guy is not a bum, has a job.)  Knowing this prevents some fantisies from going too far (falling for provider, run away with me, etc).  We don't discuss hers or mine during the session.

I will add her husband definately knows.
skb

-- Modified on 12/12/2008 8:14:46 AM

I would not have broadcast this on a thread.
If you were on my too see list, I would cross you off.
Hobbyists do not like pimps or possible confrontations with husbands. Your husband may be ok with your work, but it sounds like even you are unsure about it. I for one, would not take the risk.
Now, if you said you are married, and your husband approves of your work, different story.
Telling a hobbyist after the fact may also elicit a different answer.
Some things are best left quiet.  

After 1 year with a spa, 4 years with a service and 2 years as a Indy I am not concerned about my Husband. If he didn't approve of my work, I would be retiring.
He has been self employeed for 21 years so it isn't like I am supporting him at all. Just so that is out there, he is not a low life. I just enjoy Men and having my own income.
I had an appt yesterday where he finally took notice of my rings, seemed surprised I never mentioned it. Like I posted earlier, I do not mention it unless a question is asked. Since he seemed so surprised I haven't mention this I thought I would post and see what other thoughts are.
Thank you for your input, I do appreciate your feedback

Drjoe,
It doesn't bother me in the least.

My first thought was not that he would be a low life, but perhaps a hobbyist himself.
It was unclear from your original post that he approved. It sounded more like something that was not openly discussed.
I would not have a problem seeing a provider under the circumstances where he approves.

I've seen a few ladies who are married or in LTR. I even met one lady's husband. That one was a little spooky. The guy was a fucking gorilla.

BTW, I weigh 160 lbs. Like I said...spooky!

It has been openly discussed when I first got into this wonderful Hobby. Since then we have decided not to go into details.
He is not a Hobbiest but he has my full approval if he chooses to visit with a Lady. Not that he needs my approval but you know what I am saying.
Again thank you for your feedback,
Tori

I would find that to be spooky myself

The way I see it, you're heart is still with your husband.

It turned out rather well. We all had a very nice meal, and conversation, and got together a few times afterwards. It was the initial shock, when I wasn't expecting it. She had invited me to her apartment for breakfast, but neglected to tell me about the husband and five year old kid. Just an oversight, I'm sure.

Long as it all turned out well. Oh the expression on your face would have been priceless. I couldn't imagine the shock. I'd bet you needed a Twix moment
I am sure it was just an oversight.

I don't want to hear about a providers SO, either positive or negative. I don't really get into cheating(I am divorced and have no SO) and having a conversation about a woman's SO while we are being intimate makes me feel like a cheater and spoils the mood for me.

The fact that a provider is married doesn't really bother me, I just don't want to hear any details.

A husband that does not know would be even worse. Now of course I realize that many have SO. I'm not naive. I'd just rather not know. Rational or otherwise, I have a fear that a scorned SO might come after me. Not physically but in a way that could invade my privacy.

If your husband 'knows' about your business, then my fears would be allayed but I still would rather not know. My fantasys are about me and you, not me taking advantage of someone else’s SO.

One less issue for us to deal with.  I have always assumed some providers are married or have SO's but have no idea what percentage. I would not feel like I am cheating if the provider's SO know's how his sweetie makes a living.
If I have a strong connection with the provider  then I would not mind if they revealed they had a boyfriend or are married. I actually would be happy for them, especially if it is a healthy relationship. That would not spoil my fantasy at all.
If I am seeing someone for two hours for the first time I don't think I would want that to be part of the conversation.  

-- Modified on 12/13/2008 3:41:36 AM

I would rather the SO know about it so I don't have to have a nagging worry in the back of my head that I may be "busted in on" while having a good time. But if the SO doesn't know, I don't find the "cheating" aspect of it as something bad. It's her life and I am not one to pass judgment. I couldn't cheat on someone, but I also don't mind if other people do.

Talking about the SO during intimacy is a big no-no, but as for during some relaxed chat time afterward, no problem. You learn more about the lady you are with, thus next time (and the time after that and after that) will be even better for the "knowing her" aspect.

b-