Ok did a search, and couldn't find one discussion on this....


Wondering about dirty talk -  the norm, the limits, etc....


Just looking for general feedback, from both the men and the ladies.


Personally I LOVE dirty talk, but sometimes I'm unsure of how far to take it.

If a girl is really into it, I like to talk rough and aggressive.

I like to ask how such a good girl can be doing such and such.....

like during my last session, she responded by looking me right in the eyes, and saying "I am NOT a good girl", as she stroked my dick.

I WANTED to take it a lot further, and talk to her like a slut and slap her tits, but I did a little less than that.


Would ESPECIALLY like to get the ladies opinions on this, and what they are comfortable with and why.


thanks

Personally I do not like being talked to like a slut or in an aggresive manner...and if someone slapped me I'd slap them back. Erotic talk for me more my speed.

Some ladies love to be spoken to roughly and aggressively...best to ask them first before you go unloading a verbal tirade on them....and be very careful who you haul off and slap...you have no clue as to who has a black belt in what.

I have 10 little friends and they have fangs (and leave ugly red scratches)!  Spanking, slapping the twin mounds, those things inflict pain and you should find someone who allows that sort of thing.  I get hurt... so do you!  How would you like it, if unbidden, I slapped the little soldier or his nutty neighbors...or bit him?????

Look, dirty talk is one thing.  If it's going to get aggressive or abusive (i.e. calling me a slut, a c-word) check first.  I think of myself as a lady and prefer to be thought of that way.  Those are derrogatory terms...not sexy ones.  Call me a vixen and not a slut.  They mean very different things.  I'm known for my dirty-talk...but it's more erotic than aggressive.

That being said, if I'm forewarned that's what you like, then I can dish out and take that kind of language and not take it personally.  I understand the fantasy/role play sort of thing.  If you want to be tied up, be made my bitch, and spanked, etc. I'm there.  Just tell me and I'll inflict all the pain you want.  

If you want more, tell your lady and she'll tell you how much she allows.  With me...absolutely NO pain.

"little soldier and his nutty neighbors"?  that's new!  

lol!  seriously - pain is not my thing... although once I did have a friend tie me up (she is an S&M mistress!)  She observed that I seemed to like as I maintained an erection for over an hour!  And while that was fun!  nothing beats pleasuring a woman.... and watching her enjoy the sex as much or more than me.  so, baby, I won't be your bitch...  but then again, if I'm a doin it right!  I won't have to be!

nutty neighbors.... hee hee!

i like really aggressive dirty talk...there are pretty much no limits...call me a slut, filthy whore, c*cksucker, etc...even have had a few clients delight in calling me the "n" word. all of that is okay with me because i understand the context in which such things are meant, and also because i encourage men to be free and uninhibited when with me.

but i do NOT like romantical novel-type dirty talk...the "precious darling, honey, love of my life" stuff...1 because it's dishonest, and 2 because that kind of thing crosses intimacy lines.

Lilli, WHAT IS YOUR PROVIDER NAME?!?!?!?! hehe


I love that.

oh come on now...    there's a big difference between a love slap, and an attack slap.

when a guy slaps your rear, do you turn around and attack him?

Then blind-fold you, and torture you ...ohhh...soooo....good.....  No pain involved.. for either of us!  LOL.

Hmmm, good point on the pain thing.   I didn't realize that some women are more sensitive than others, when it comes to their tits.  

I definitely don't want to hurt a woman, so asking first I see IS mandatory - good point.

(side note -  I HIGHLY doubt, that any woman's tits, are anywhere near sensitive as a man's nutts)


As for certain terms being derogatory, I know we all have our likes and dislikes and different personalities, but sometimes it's hard for me to be patient and understanding on this issue...

a certain term being "derogatory"?

uh, what do you think a slap on the rear is?   sweet thing, it means we're treating your rear like a piece of meat, because that's what gets us off.

I don't know, it just amazes me that some women can actually do this for a living, and yet are so hyper-sensitive towards certain words, or have these out of place notions.

That really amazes me.


No offense, but my direct and honest response to your notion of "being treated like a lady", is..................................   nevermind.




Let me just put it this way -  if you are being paid for a service, ie SEX, then your client wants SEX.  

We don't want to "make love to you", we want to FUCK.

We don't want to "treat you like a lady", we want you to be our dirty little slut.

Come on now, let's be realistic.

Asking first?  I can see that.   I try to put everything up front, so I don't have any issues once I get there.....  because I know many (if not most or all) providers are just looking at me like an atm machine, and are trying to do as little as possible to get their money.


I'm sorry, but expecting a man to pay for "treating you like a lady", seems like paying to go to work.

I thought I was the one being serviced, not the other way around, but go figure.  

I enjoy a little dirty talk from time to time. But, I'd first ask the lady if she likes that before I'd just start letting loose with some dirty talk.  I"m not into pain or degradation , but sometimes I find some mutal dirty talk adds to the hotness of the session.

lol, glad you like. if you're ever in MD/DC, look me up.

Nitescape, as a provider i hear you, really. i've always considered it my job/duty to serve and please the gentleman who see me to the very best of my abilities. that's just my nature, i sincerely want to make them happy.

moreover, i want to be an ESCAPE from their everyday lives where they have to play by the rules, censor and suppress their true selves, suck up to and plead with women, etc. with me they can relax, be selfish, be listened to, catered to and worshipped. so if they want to treat me like a nasty little slut, spank my bum, play a little rough...that's fine, that's what i'm there for after all. to be what THEY want.

so like you, i also don't get the "treat me like a lady" almost condescending attitude that some providers seem to have.

I get off watching a lady writhe in pleasure.  To me, if it's JUST about busting a nut, I can do that at home by myself.  While I certainly intend to enjoy myself, it's way better for me if she wants me to come back.

That doesn't mean I'll kiss her ass (although it could happen...I like asses, heehee) but I generally don't get off treating a woman as a sperm receptacle.

Let me get this straight. Based on what you wrote, and by using the word "we", you claim that ALL men:

a. Only want to "fuck"
b. Only want to treat women like sluts because
c. That's what they really feel
d. believe that treating a woman "like a lady" is work and couldn't possibly come naturally

also:

a. women who do this for a living should not want to be treated like a lady
b. If they do, it's "out of place"
c. If you're the one paying, you should get what YOU want, which is to treat the lady as the slut that she is
d. Women who like sex or provide sex are sluts


Wow, Nitescape. I had no idea that this was what  "reality" was. Thank you for enlightening us.

I appreciate you sharing that Lilli!   It lets me know I'm not going crazy!!!  lol


Don't get me wrong, when on the phone, or when I first get there, I talk to the provider like a human being, and develop a rapport where she knows I have sense and that I also have a heart and care about other people's feelings.


This isn't the dateline though, and I'm not coming there to show off my "understanding of female sensitivities" though!   I'm coming to BE serviced, and that's why I'M the one that is paying.

If NEITHER of us is paying?  Then yeah, I'll show all the understanding and patience and understanding in the world.....

You're a contentious little thing aren't you....


you just want to argue, and I do not have that compulsion towards misery, sorry.


I was speaking as a male from a male perspective...  similar to how on other posts, you spoke as a woman from a female perspective.

Now I'm not interested in arguing nor debating, so feel free to disregard my opinion if you don't think it's correct, but don't expect me to get sucked in to having to prove myself or my opinions to you.

I speak honestly from my heart and my experiences, and this is only a discussion board.

Anything deeper than that, I don't have the time nor interest for.


By the way, as a woman who doesn't even provide, I don't know why you keep inserting yourself into my threads to try to argue with me, but go figure. lol

Now lets see if you can surprise me, without another contentious/bitter reply.

my dear.. although, I do like my butt slapped every now and then But, for me it would depend on who it is, and how well do I know you enough to remember to respect me as a lady, when bedtime is finished lol

Again, if it's a personal matter, all that can be discussed and agreed to....

but if I'M $paying money$ and YOU are not, then I expect YOU to cater to me, not the other way around.


You can have all the rules and sensitivities you like, but if I were to ever find out a provider had this kind of attitude before-hand, I would NEVER waste my time nor my money on that...  and as a matter of fact, if you come at me with this  even when I get there, I will take my money and myself and walk right out the door.

I'm there to be serviced, not there to be lectured to, according to your own self-conceived notions and principles...   We all have them, so shouldn't the CLIENT'S be the ones that are catered to?

Never does it cease to amaze me, how some women absolutely HATE to be judged, yet many of those same women, are the FIRST in line, to point and wave their finger and give a speech or lecture...

you think I'm gonna pay money to deal with that???


MANY women are already a big enough pain in the rear end to deal with, without me having to PAY to deal with more.


Note -  This isn't directed at you personally Ms. HumpAlot.  I'm just speaking generally here.

-- Modified on 8/9/2007 4:48:14 PM

I can't believe such a neanderthal way of thinking...what rock did he crawl out from? Pathetic attitude and way of thinking some people have.

Wait, I just read a couple of his reviews...it just says it all...(rolling my eyes and shaking my head)

-- Modified on 8/9/2007 8:40:01 PM

My dearest "sweet nuts".....Now, I am about as open minded as any lady can be. I like things a little on the dirty side myself. ALl between consenting adults, yada yada yada. Which is why sometimes when I write my ads, I like to describe myself as a GFE with just the right dash of PSE.

So, having said that my dearest sweet sack, if you were to ASK me - as in with just a little dash of, ohhhhh I don't know - RESPECT if I like a little dirty talk, I would give a pixie like little grin and say YOU BETCHA.

Come at me with the attitude you just showed in this post, and I would shove my stilletto heel so far up your fucking ass, that you would be spitting toe jam for a week.

Do not EVER....EVER make the mistake of thinking just because you paid the entry fee that gives you license to treat a woman or speak to a woman any way you feel like it. Cause buddy, I got news for ya - you fucking money is NOT that green.

I should have clued in when you addressed "sweet nuts"...LOL.  I attribute it to a blonde moment (that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!).

I think he missed the part in my post where I said, "ask first" and just clued into "treat me like a lady", which some seem to think is out of place in this biz.  Maybe I should have said "treat me with respect"?  I wonder if that would have made things clearer?

My dearest "sweet cunt",

Do you feel better now? lol


Some people just love to go off, and show attitude, which makes it all the more amusing when you attempt to address someone else having "attitude".


Bottom line is this -  we could sit here till the cows come home and try to asses each other's attitudes, and judge each other...    but at some point, a SMART person is going to think about what they are trying to achieve, or what their goal is.

Now you can type on a message board you're gonna do this or that, blah blah blah... lol

but that's not really reality now is it?

because IF you were to make the mistake of trying to make just ONE move of violence towards me or any other man?  

well let's just say that you can think what you want, and you can say what you want, but once you make the mistake of taking things to a level of violence................


Again the hypocrisy of some amazes me.

You want to lecture and wave your finger about understanding and respect, yet you have none and you show none.


Now I could sit here and respond to your attitude and tirade in like manner, but it's really not that deep.

Actually, it's pretty silly and immature.


My advice is if you want to be treated "like a lady", then what you FIRST need to do is learn to conduct yourself like one.


A "lady", isn't quick to spout off and run her mouth.  A "lady", isn't trying to create contention and vilify someone, because she's too lazy or too uncaring to show understanding of others.


I could go on, but that's enough education for you  to chew on.

Funny, I think you must have missed my entire post..   either that, or maybe you aren't taking the time to consider the thoughts and perspectives of a man.

I addressed both things you just mentioned.

Perhaps instead of being so focused on having someone understand YOU, you might take time out to think beyond your own perspective for just a second?

Then again, that might be asking too much.


This is why many men like myself, just opt to pay for sex.

It's not because we can't get it, but it's just that we don't want to deal with all of this drama and bullshit.


Not sure if you're aware of this, but allow me to share something -  

respect and understanding is a two way street

yeah, I have a neanderthal way of thinking, yet instead of you being able to express your opinion, all you can do is make juvenile insinuations.