About a week ago I made arrangements with a very high end provider for a 2.5 hour session this upcoming Saturday. I put down a $300.00 deposit as a token of good faith.

Your options are pretty much limited to "suck it up and take your lumps" or make a post on your/her regional board and blast her for it.

I am paying for a provider's time. No time, no payment irrespective of who is responsible. No shows are a cost of doing business. I am tired of providers complaining and demanding indemnification by means of mandatory  deposits. And such deposit practices are legally unenforceable. Clients should simply avoid providers who demand deposits.

I'm not sure if you have the cojones to do this, but I'd put something on the board of her base city recommending that she change her cancellation policy from 36 hours to maybe 72 hours. But make sure you have exhausted all the measures to get the money back. Put it a polite way, if there is such a way. Explain to the peanut gallery what happen....You might get a little push back and you for sure won't get your money back....but fuck it.
Then again, there's small claims court...lol

You can God damn bet the farm I will NEVER EVER deal with ANY provider wanting a deposit going forward!!

"Then again, there's small claims court..."

I can add nothing except you are fucked on the deposit but going forward I think you will do better and not make the same mistake.  Depending on how close you are with your brother in law, I personally would have skipped the funeral.

This provider was somebody who I really thought I would connect with fabulously!! The potential of me becoming a steady client was certainly there. That possibility is gone forever!!

I took a quick gander at the list of providers you have seen and I am guessing the three hundred bucks will be nothing more than an irritant, so looking at it that way, her loss is going to be a lot bigger than yours.

She should have been able to cancel the room, though she might not have had a ready date to fill her dance card.   But you are wasting your time... she's decided to keep your deposit & that's that.    

.... she can't get back?
Personally, I'd believe that. She's probably paid out without the ability for a refund.  
But, I tend to think the best of people, until I get actual evidence to the contrary.  
You're not a victim.

Looks like you are solemnly and peacefully fucked..

LMAO!! You can now officially include me as a member of the "he man deposit haters club!!

So are mine.

If she booked a hotel through a site like priceline or expedia you have to pay extra to be able to refund the cost of the hotel if something happens. Lots of providers use sites like these.  If this is what happened she would have been paying you out of her own pocket in addition to losing the amount she expected from your appointment with her.  

transferring your deposit to that date. I too find it hard to believe she paid in advance for the room. Most quality hotels use a 24 hr. cancellation policy.

You gave her almost THREE days notice . It appears that ( if I’m reading it right) you gave her the notice she required for a FULL refund. Plenty of time to cancel hotel room in most cases for full refund. . You didn’t see her so you can’t review her and notify all of what happened. It’s laughable when the providers bring up “ you can’t cancel on your dentist last minute and not get a penalty “. Some Escorts keep deposits, because, they can. Never ever give anyone a deposit. The risk is too great and the temptation is available for a provider to make a score with out retribution. But again , you know that now from all the other posts . Good luck

Gave this every opportunity to try and get back on track but apparently some people here were overestimated. Lesson learned.

Precisely!! This is why I'm pissed about it. Make your policies clear on the website - - - don't create them "on the fly" at the whim of the moment!!

have policies and doesn't matter the room would be charged to the credit card. (Many hotels in DC area have a pre-paid rate and others have change their cancelation policies).  
Many hotels are extremely busy in this area and in order to secure the room we must paid in advance..  

Really doesn’t matter , he followed her policy and got screwed. Can’t change the rules in the middle of the game. Bad business, bad provider.

I think that if she incurred in non refundable charges in anticipation of your date with her then it’s unfortunate and perhaps she can’t fully refund your money. The whole policy thing you describe and the time you claim you have told here you gave her as notice of cancellation makes me think iou are entitled to your deposit regardless of her booking the room. One thing I should say is that we are taking your word as face value without hearing from the provider in question so That makes it hard to know all the facts. A few months ago I went to San Diego and had an issue with a person who booked me with at least a weeks notice. The day of the appt he canceled and he had done that one time in the past so while I don’t have a cancellation policy explicitly described, I do warn people I reserve the right to ask for a deposit or ask for a cancellation fee. He gave me a very shitty response and proceeded to come to the boards to plead his case lying about the time he canceled and the circumstances as well. So people do lie and therefore if she is a reputable provider (which we don’t know since you didn’t say who she is) and she deems is proper to keep the deposit, I have to stand by the provider’s side. If she is known for pulling these kind of things and you were another victim then yeah I would probably ask Arnold least twice for my deposit back but if she refuses then I guess you should just warn others about who this person is and move on.  

I have no reason to lie---have the time stamps on my email correspondence as verification on when notification was sent.

When booking a week or so in advance things can always come up. Family, work, weather ect.  It's just called life.
Personally I don't like deposits, and I would only require one if I had to secure a location or if a gentleman's occupation
 ( example Doctor)  requires them to be on call.  
Problem with deposits, girl accepts money, girl meets boy...and boy & girl don't play well. lol

Why would he lie ? To what advantage? . She changed her policy in midstream. Same as you going to Macy’s buying a skirt, returning it and the store saying “ oh sorry we don’t take returns from that vendor ? And nowhere is that noted at the store . WTF ? The guy got fucked and he didn’t even get kissed ! If it happened in reverse he would be blacklisted on VH. She gets off scot free. SMH

Agree with Devin
If she is on P411 you should contact Gina
She won’t tolerate abuse of policies like this
It won’t get you your $ money back but it will have other ramifications for her...

I think in a scenario like that, even though I may have prepaid for the room just to see you (which I do quite often) I may not have been able to offer a refund but I possibly would have added additional time to our next date to make up for your loss. That way my lost expenses are covered and we can still continue to build our new friendship without you feeling sore about your deposit. However the key word is possibly. Although cancellations are rare in my experience, the ones that do cancel and expect a refund come up with all manner of excuses. If I knew you were that keen to see me and you didn't ask if I was available the morning of, evening before or sometime after the funeral it would be hard to take you seriously. To be honest I would probably think some other lady that you have been dying to see is touring and is only available during the time of our date. There is a difference between asking to reschedule and flat out cancelling.

Perfectly stated!! (As my Dad told me eons ago when I was a kid - - - -"You're going to learn very quickly life can be very unfair - - - better get used to it!)  

I had to travel out of state - -- so a quick reschedule was not feasible. And this is a touring provider - - - no idea when she will come this way again nor will I know my availability at the time she does come back again.

If you used you CC then dispute the charge. If you paid via AMEX, more than likely, you'll get your money back. It has been my experience that they are extremely customer friendly. Just a thought.

He cancelled three days before . Well in advance of her policy on her website.   If the provider pre paid (non refundable ) for the room that was her risk, to save what , 25 bucks ? Additionally, Op mentions she was touring , she needed the room anyway !!!! And thats why she was able to run off with the deposit; she was touring never to see this guy again. She stole his money, flat out,

You may have done this-but I didn't notice that you had told us who she is----without a name...........not only are you SOL but so will others be !

Just thought of something!!  

It's pretty clear that you followed HER stated policy at the time where it comes to cancellations and that while it was you that were forced to cancel it was her that changed her policy midstream, Assuming she is a p 411 provider, Gina might be a very good arbiter to work this out and it might be possible that you might even get your deposit back.

You close the thread but there are 13 (now 14) posts, posted after you closed the thread. You must be the Rodney Dangerfield of admins. You need to talk to your bosses. 😊

About 5 days ago I asked the deposit question and thanks to this thread I didn’t do it instead I saw another provider who was awesome!!! I will never see a provider who ask for a deposit to many ladies who don’t!!!

Then it could have been worse.  When you connect with them "fabulously" it just makes it easier for them to fleece you more than once.  

Most excellent advice!  

SMH, he should name her!

Deposits are requested to address cancellations like this.  If you don’t want to risk losing them, don’t pay them.  Just chalk it up to experience and let it go.  

In the grand scheme of things---it's not worth going to war over $300.00. So I will, indeed, chalk it up to experience and advise anyone going forward to stay away from ANY arrangements involving deposits---too risky.

I see this from both sides, especially with a high end provider. You may have been her only date, or maybe even one of two dates. Much more difficult to secure a guy at very high price points, than a girl who charges $300 a throw.

so what if she paid in advance?  She covered "her loss" by stealing HIS money!

If you do, leave your wallet in the car!!

Here's the issue!!

Thanks a FUCKING LOT, asshole!

Awesome!! Great to hear!! Delighted you were spared the same fate!!

Ask for an ok on p411 or whitelist here???? He can't do that if he hasn't seen her!! That is a major NO NO!!!  
Also, new shoes, getting ready with new make up THREE DAYS ahead of appointment? A high end lady doesn't already have all that stuff? GTFOH with that REALLY.  Another WTF.  I believe he said she was on tour! She will be there anyway. She just pocketed his money period. If she was somewhere like NY then another booking isn't that hard.  Personally,  I'd never book a hotel room I couldn't cancel 3 days ahead of time anyway.  Not to mention, he DID follow her own cancelation policy,  she didn't.  
Surely you don't really believe all that you suggest???
I don't ask for deposits but if I did this guy certainly deserves his money back or deduct from a future meeting with her, at the least.  
I had a guy cancel last minute with me recently.  He sent me half the donation for the cancelation. I put that toward a future visit with him. We ended up meeting and had a blast! I kept my end of the deal, he kept his. Now, I probably have a wonderful regular.  Fantastic! Just makes  simple business sense to me.  
Sometimes ladies bite themselves in the ass and loose a lot more than they imagined just simply by loosing what could be a great regular client. All for 300 bucks.  
XOXO  
TL

Then what is the purpose of having a stated policy?!! If it can be modified, altered, created on a whim there may as well not be one at all!!

AMEN AND HALLELUJAH!! Absolutely spot-on perfect!! Bless you, my dear!!

Well, ask yourself, if you were in my shoes would you do it?? (A lot of guys TALK tough--but when the shit hits the fan then things usually are completely different.)

I sincerely thank everyone for their comments--if nothing else we had a great debate and exchange of thoughts/ideas!!

Yeah, this thief will limit herself to JUST stealing deposits.  NOT!

I don't disagree with you...she should change her policy.  However she likely didn't account for a cancellation and booked the hotel ahead of time.  It's definitely a mistake on her part...but I don't think she deserves to be outted.  Discount sites don't give a refund unless you pay extra no matter how far out it is.  Believe me, I've tried.

If you are too gutless to name her because you are afraid of her than your entire post was nothing but one giant whine fest and you did NO ONE any favors, I don't mean to kick you while you are down, but you are/were an idiot for giving her the deposit in the first place and no one with a bit of sense needed to "learn" anything from your experience, we already knew.

When I'm home based and get a hotel. I make the gentleman aware of this. Of course in the Raleigh area, I'm not paying $300 for a four star hotel.  

Hold up a second here, what if she paid for the hotel in advance? Then she is out the money as well. There can be 2 sides to the story. I am sorry about the death as well.

Quite simply 1) She had a policy the guy followed to a T. 2) If she had a non refundable room that was her risk to save 25 bucks (?) 3) she was TOURING. She was there anyway!! 4) do not out her ? Why ? If the guy shorted her or NCNS , he would be blacklisted on VM. So she is held to a different standard ? Huh ?

about alerting potential hobbyists that a lady is a rip-off or no-showing flake. It’s been said numerous times in this thread and elsewhere that had the OP been a creep, abusive, or whatever he would’ve been blacklisted. So if it’s okay for providers to warn others against an unsavory client, there should just as much encouragement to list unreliable providers.  

Well said.

I sent a very detailed email to P411 describing the incident and asking for advice on how to proceed.  Will see what they say!! (I figure if I can get a 3rd party arbitrator to help handle this discreetly we can solve the matter without me having to post billboards on here. I want to handle this quietly, yet effectively. )

I have reported it "discreetly" to P411--look forward to their reply.

I reported it to P411--awaiting their reply.

I thought about it and reported the incident to P411--we'll see what they say. Be cool!!

I have thought it over and have since reported the incident to P411---(I took your advice and one other person's advice and contacted them---I figure a 3rd party arbitrator can effectively help solve this matter.)

And any sane person makes this the only prerequisite  deposit.

I love it when you talk dirty, Steph.

Every provider should honor any terms and conditions outlined on their website. I would call her and try to reason with her without escalating the situation and watch your tone to make sure things go smoothly. If that doesn't work and you might want to see the same provider at a future time ask her if she is willing to credit the deposit, or 70% of it toward another session in the future.

Hotel policies aren't the guys concern.

She broke her own policy and robbed him!

Your right, she should give you the refund.  

You are the absolute last person who should be giving the OP advice, and if I were the OP you would be the last person I would want pleading my case for me.

I can see both sides of the coin.. if she already paid for the room, I could see why she retained the deposit..  

I reported the entire incident to P411--specifically named named the provider in question (through her P411 ID AND her website) and outlined everything. I offered to supply all supporting documentation as further evidence. They told me I didn't have a case and would not get involved. I'm already screwed--anything else I do at this point is just going to dig the hole for me even deeper. So I'll cut my losses and will set my own personal policy to never submit a deposit under any circumstances going forward. You guys would be wise to do the same.

DUMBASS!

about the deposit, ask for a receipt. This way you'll see in good faith she really paid for the hotel or made arrangements to meet you in the first place.

Whining about such bad behavior without naming names is just that, WHINING.

I disagree - - - sorry kid!! (BTW---reread the very 1st post you made on this thread----your viewpoint is completely different!!)

-- Modified on 1/18/2018 10:44:41 AM

I have always been on the side of "naming names" I don't really know why I suggested you pussy out in my first post, but it was bad advice and I take it back.

I'm guessing that's the point in security deposit. She might have given 2nd thought to less restrict her rules later on and posted it as a result. In interim I'm sure she was turning down calls and appointments leading up to your cancellation. Hope this helps

If you indeed followed  her policy, which I have no reason to doubt at this point.  As I haven't  seen an argument  by the provider.  Don't  know  if she has involvement  on TER. But if she does,  would  think she would  want to state her side.   And you have been quite fair , in giving her the chance.

Well okay I disagree on a minor point, I don't see why the woman in question would ever want to admit what she did in public when right now she not only has his three hundred bucks, but she has complete anonymity to boot. Why would she want to draw unfavorable attention to herself?

Gambler - - - you wrote this - - and you sure aren't recommending outing her in this post. Did someone steal your TER log-in LMAO!!

Made arrangements to see sydnee.. sent deposit and she kept asking for more on the deposit then after, said her kids were sick.  Over a 2 month period kept coming up with excuses.. I figure I have to suck it up .. $600.. I will only ever use those with no negative reviews on TER from now on