I don't think any of the Hobbyists on this site or other sites are "damaged" as you say because they seek out Providers. Your here for a reason, and only deep inside you is the real answer to your own question, But at face value, I feel you have many reasons why you do what you do, maybe your not getting what you desire from your wife, girlfriend, S/O or maybe as time passed you've grown a bit and she's lagged behind you sexually, and you want more to satisy you without the clinging vines of attachment..Pay as you go so to speak (lol) I don't think your damaged in the least! If you give 100% to your family and homelife, if your a good parent, husband, provider and your not getting what you need at home, then you deserve to have time with Providers to get whatever it is you need. Remember when your with us..it's always about you..Don't you think you deserve it? I do, and many would agree with me. Jay
Ladies.....a bit of honesty required here....do you think most hobbyists are "damaged" in some way?
I am not sure my motivation of asking this question but I guess I am questioning why I am exploring this hobby and I think for me I am searching for something...I just haven't figured out what.
I am sure a number of leghumpers do it just to get laid but I guess I am wondering what the POV of the women might be.
I turned to the hobby after a long painful reflection on what socially accepted rules for men being with women had cost me, in terms of my finances, my emotional stability, and my physical health. I resisted for a long time until I finally had no alternative but to conclude that I had been scammed in the name of maximizing my "contribution" to the Gross National product... then it also hit me that there was/is a veritable army of hacks, flacks, marketeers, focus on the family jerkoffs who had unspoken, powerful interests in spinning the storyline for the status quo.... a "good man" would NEVER, EVER stoop to such a direct, unvarnished, real equation of tarnished commerce and Nearer My God To Thee sacrement of physical union... 'cuz that would be... what ? Honest ? Authentic ? Too much of a blunt admission that this is how reproductive strategies work ? So there.
Or at least cynical and jaded. My experience is that you always pay somehow. Relationships are never free. They are alot of work, drama, and sacrifice. Not to mention money. Monetarily hobbying is about a wash or maybe even cheaper if you include presents and all the shit you wouldnt have bought otherwise. Typical night out 150.00 for dinner and drinks. 100-500 for entertainment. 400 hotel room.
I have been doing "hobby only" for about 6 months now twice a week. I find the variety almost addictive after 20+ years of relationships. I may be fucked up but nothing in a relationship matches the thrill of the first encounter with a new lady.
Hmm - I guess this could be taken two ways. I really don't mean that I agree that you are damaged but rather that I identify with the sentiment expressed in your post......
So much of the cultural expectation of what a "healthy relationship" is is built on denying the very nature of what it is to be human. We like sex. Our eyes wander. Just because those two things are true doesn't mean we're incapable of loving one single human with ever fiber of our being.. and just because we do so doesn't mean that one person will satisfy every craving we have.
Humans are complex creatures. Our sexual and emotional needs are equally complex.
The "legitimate relationship" that our culture espouses as a value does not take those complexities into account.
Damaged? Perhaps in some sense, when one finally achieves the bitterness of realizing they were lied to their entire life.
It's not about sex only...It's about feeling close to another person but being able to walk away and go on with your life..I don't find that damaged thinking but common sense if your in a relationship already or not wanting to be in one.
Sometimes a little soul searching is good for all of us.
Let me ask you this question Hammer...Don't you think everyone finds a time in their life when they question what they want? You are no different than millions of people out there and not just men.
It doesn't make you damaged because you think you are missing something or want more in your life. We all are born with the need to be touched, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
Some people never find that perfect place others will spend their life searching and still others will settle. Which do you prefer to be?
Haley... you hit the nail right on the head, at least for me. The need to be touched physically, mentally says it all... Not into the spiritual part though.
Exactly why I am in the hobby. Maybe some would call it damaged but human touch is why I'm here and what I am missing in my civie life.
I fully realize I'm "paying" for an actress but at least for an hour it seems as though someone cares. Or at least that is what I'm looking for.. unfortunately most of my encounters have been about getting me to the end result vs a show of affection.. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for love... just a few moments of human touch... physically and mentally.
We have friends for years who we see on a very special level. I will not say I don't fall in love but try to put things into perspective. I open myself to those I see, some are interested in being close and others just in the physical aspects of our time. I live by do no harm..I am there to comfort and give enjoyment.
I have cared for the elderly for years and found touch to be the desiding factor in their quality of life. I notice that some people think being less attractive as contagious. Someone has had a stroke and drools heavens be they drool on me. I hug and kiss anyway.That is the best medicine of all.
I do hope you find that special friend who will give you what you are searching for.
We are all a little "damaged" aren't we? You can't go through life without taking your fair share of bumps and dings. To classify one person as "damaged" and not another wouldn't be fair.
I actually blogged about this community and flaws this morning. To fully appreciate my standpoint I'd suggest you read it.
None of us are perfect and we are the sum of our experiences and choices; some good some bad. We are all here for a reason whatever that reason is. I think most of us judge a person by how they treat us not why they are with us.
No question I think everyone carries baggage...damaged sounds like a tough word but I don't mean it like that.
I am simply curious from a providers point of view what their thoughts on the subject are. I know all men have different motivations but I am sure we all share some common bonds under the skin.
We are all here for a reason. It's not fair to judge another for why they choose to be with us.
If; however, you are looking for something that is missing within yourself you'll never find it by seeking it in others. Take some time to yourself and search within to find what is it you feel you lack in life.
Others can help illuminate the path but not tell you what that path is. You have to find it first.
The amount of time you spend on these pursuits can be damaging.
Like everything else in life, you need to be responsible. This hobby like alcohol or gambling and even chocolate CAN be Addicting. With that in mind, take care of your needs and desires and fantasies and don't forget about work and family and living.
It's not seeing a provider that is damaging in itself. It is the "addiction" that needs to be addressed. If you have enough money and can balance out your life with this hobby, still have time for friends & family and what other hobbies (like reading, golfing, etc.) you may enjoy, then I'd say you are a pretty well-rounded fellow.
However, if you cannot pay your bills, cannot send your child to college and go into extreme debt, then it's a dangerous hobby. I believe everything in life requires a certain amount of common sense and validity. If I were a man, it would be taking care of the necessities first then play later, but that is just me. Now, with that being said, if you can budget efficiently then there is no need to worry about if you are "damaged", because you are taking care of business and being responsible for yourself and hopefully those little ones who rely on you (if you have them at home) and -- hopefully -- straying from the S.O. because she will not give you sex, or is too ill for sex or is just a raving lunatic. Otherwise, why would you want to stray too far from home? The latter might be the only factor in feeling guilty/damaged for some in the hobby.
The United States (and a few other countries) attempts to envelope you into the mind set of "doing what's right." What is right -- and for whom? Certainly not the ridiculing philosophy and puritanical guilt from a society that trives upon religious persecution yet boasts religious freedom. If you can rid yourself of the guilt from these overbearing rituals shoved down some of our throats at an early age, then you are truly free. Take some of the things you consider to be great morals and standards from your parents. The rest is saved for you and what you consider reasonable and fun.
So, after all is accounted for and put into its place, the only dilemna left from all of this is that hobbying and escorting is illegal. The rest is only in your mind -- and "the mind is a terrible thing to waste" on such trivial and sometimes debilitating matters.
I think of the singer/songwriter and one of her songs with the huge C I A r A intro! That girl has some moves just like I bet you do!
It's always a wonderful compliment to have a Co-worker publicly agree with your ideas. Even in the REAL world this rarely happens. Sweetnicole sent me a pm and was so sweet and kind with her thoughts the other day. I owe her a pm..if you see this sweetnicole...I will be writing back!! XOXO Thank you for contributing in a great way to our ter community. Please keep putting smiles on faces!!
Each new Lady is a very sexy way to spend an hour. If I were a guy with $$$ I would do the same. Not only during the appt but before and after. it is a RUSH For the Ladies, too. We get very excited. They are like first dates. We want you to want us and we want to have the best time possible. These are win-win dates. And there is so much variety. But this candy won't give you a tummy ache. Although you could experience an ache in your loins!
I realize money is not the issue with you. I guess I should clarify what I have already said and expand upon a few other things. Given that, what I also mentioned are reasons several men get into the hobby: like no sex at home, loneliness, sick S.O.'s or S.O.'s that are hard to live with. Maybe some feel damaged because they believe no one cares for them, and seeking this type of outside help through us goes against the grain of most Americans' beliefs. Are these damaged people? Not necessarily. Is there guilt because of a spouse? Possibly.
If you are single with no cares in the world then it could be that you're searching for an easy way to feel comforted and cared for -- even if it's just for a short time, without the hassles or disagreements with girlfriends. Perhaps young men are looking for answers from ladies who are street smart and won't bat an eye at telling them the truth without taking away the affection. I think some people also have a hard time separating fantasy from reality. After all, it's much easier and relaxing to deal with a beautiful woman who's caressing you, who is understanding you as a person and as a man, and who is assisting in making your hard day go away rather than facing the reality of what you're doing with your life in general. Some might call that a cop-out. Others would call it therapy. I choose the latter, as long as one is realistic about the encounter after the date and do not allow themselves to drift back to some of the negative worldly views of what we do here.
With providers, it is much easier to assume that we will not judge you or give you the label of "damaged." Don't you think that some men find the fantasy intriguing: that they are meeting a woman for the first time who they find beautiful, with the excitement about what is to happen when they meet, and hope (like a child who plays in the snow for the first time) that there will only be positive energy. There are many things that you could say "damage" us in our lives. I like to think they're just experiences that make us stronger and shape the person we are and who we will become.
When you strip away at the word "damage." you will begin with the word "dam": an often useful blockage from possibly flooding a particular area, or used for generating power and electricity. When you take the last part: "age", you see it in relation to years. So, if you look at that word in a positive and abstract sense, it means someone who is fluid in their thinking and helps others from drowning, and he now has the wisdom to see it.
Giving names like "damaged" as it applies to this post only labels materials in a box we no longer need. Most Americans do not want to take the time to fix something even though it's fixable. Remember Torrid's past post: "Think outside the box."
I've thought about this all day and I think what maybe inspired me to write this post was my experience so far with providers.
I've only seen two and both were absolutely horrible. One was a CL girl which I quickly learned why you don't do CL. She was nothing like the pictures, was not GFE and was kind of gross.
I sent her packing.
The 2nd was a well reviewed provider that started our night off by calling her boyfriend from my hotel bathroom to tell him she would be home later. I listened to her telling her she missed him and loved him and would be home soon, then she comes out half naked and trying to pretend like she wanted to be there.
I gave it a shot but it just seemed "creepy" after that and I ended the night early.
Both times I ended up just feeling mildly disgusted with the whole thing. Maybe I just have yet to find the right hookup, I don't know that this hobby is for me but their must be a reason that I am entertaining it so I figure I will give it a go.
Who knows.....I like these kinds of conversations though so if anyone has anything more to add...by all means please do.
Maybe you need to book with a provider who has good reviews and who has been around the block awhile. Perhaps that experience will put things into perspective for you. Wink!
between the US and Europe / Asia when it comes to people feeling guilty or "damaged" because of their very natural sexual desires and needs. Some may scoff, but the puritanical streak in America is pretty obvious by comparison. One can be responsible, ethical, patriotic, spiritual and even perhaps religious to a healthy degree (if this exists...) and still fully own their sexuality, and allow themselves to experience, experiment and enjoy all of the potential with which nature has gifted them.....
I agree. I have been reading and exploring the topic of tantric sex and that kind of thing. Some of it seems kind of hippyish but I like the principle and am interested in learning more about it.
I would love to find a tantric coach or surrogate that could teach those concepts but so far all I see are handjob chicks disguised as tantric teachers.
If I had to choose, I would say without equivocation that I most enjoyed the sport in Asia..... The absolute openness to sexual expression and the intimate and caring and vulnerable way that the ladies there approach sexuality is awesome.
of man it’s not unreasonable to think we are all damaged. Man and woman If you like this word and I do feel I know what you mean. As in we are all human and with imperfection In relation to social relationships sex is the most effective way to grow out of or a way from the imperfections in ones self that are unappealing. So if you view your self as damaged in any way then also consider your self blessed as well because while searching your are growing. I wish you well along the path of your journey. Livie
If you think you are perfect, you are almost beyond all hope. If you are aware of some modest deficits you are simply a real human being. If you are aware (or not) of severe deficits, please get help before you become almost beyond all hope.
We all pay in one way or another for those things in life we see as ‘needs and wants’, whether it’s the sustenance of 3 meals a day or an occasional candy bar. It’s only the judgments of others that classify one’s behavior as either healthy or damaging. If your life style choices aren’t detrimental to yourself or others, then so what? If you are thinking of yourself as shom how ‘damaged’ in light of your choices regarding the hobby, then there’s probably is something to it. We all arrive here via a multitude of paths. Is there any commonality to any of them? I’m sure there is. Do others here feel damaged? I’m sure they do. We all make choices and then have to live with the consequences or else make new choices.
Being able to recognize ones own damage or failings is a tremendous asset and gift. Many people either successful or not have little or no self awareness of such things.
My personal opinion that people who are considered absolutely 100% normal in our society are not the people I personally would want to spend time with. Most of the time they are extremely boring, luck creativity, imagination and have their entire life pre-planned. In less than 5 words .. they are no Einsteins!
In the short time that I have been a Provider, did I meet people I would consider "damaged"? Yes. But so far I would say it is exception, not the rule. Most people I meet are the kind of people I would enjoy spending time with outside of the biz.
I wish you to continue searching and enjoy life while doing it. As human beings we need this trill of search, otherwise life gets a bit too predictable and boring
I do not consider any of us "damaged" that choose to part take in the hobby/provider environment.
Someone mentioned in another post when the hobby becomes the core of your existence, then that's a problem just like with all of the other "poisons" in life.
Just like with anything else in life...Too much of a good thing can be bad for anyone.
I seem to attract clients who love their wives to pieces but for whatever reason the "flame" has left their relationship (due to health, kids, different schedules, etc). My clients aren't looking to divorce their loved ones but going without sex or choking their bird for the rest of their lives doesn't sound too appealing to any of them.
Bottom line is this, being an ex-wife I much rather my husband seek out the services of someone such as myself then screwing one of my best friends from school or the next door neighbor.
I am thrilled that my clients seek the company of someone like myself because I travel to different areas. So the chances of me running into them or their loved ones are rare.
You know the saying..."One shouldn't shit where they eat."
To answer the question about being "damaged?" No I do not consider myself "damaged" for being a single woman filled with lust but enjoys the freedom of not having a traditional 9 to 5 job. And I do treat this as a business on paper but not behind closed doors.
I do not consider my clients "damaged" either. I consider them to be well-rounded gentlemen who are in need of some naughty fun but they aren't promising me the universe or looking to leave their wife at the end of the day.
I pleasure my clients to no endless measure and disappear when our meeting is over.
I live on my own terms and still enjoy playing with gorgeous men across our great natioin
Of course I cannot speak for all gentlemen who practices the hobby but I can certainly vouch for the ones that sought out my services that they are not "damaged."
Its a well-balanced situation to me.
I just felt the need to answer that question from my prospective on the hobby and why I enjoy being a provider.
but the lifestyle did not do this to me. I've had to compartmentalize way more than is healthy in my lifetime. And I've come to prefer it that way. I prefer my relationships a few hours at a time, without drama and baggage. I prefer sustaining the illusion - the lady and I being our best for each other for a time and not having to do the dirtywork that a relationship entails. I have preferred not to receive or give commitments. However I am planning to change that in not too distant future. I will always appreciate the hobby for allowing me to experience a wide variety of sex, yes, but also to know quite a few very wonderful women, to share a bit of real life with them in addition to the illusion. Thank you for a great question.
I don't think any of the Hobbyists on this site or other sites are "damaged" as you say because they seek out Providers. Your here for a reason, and only deep inside you is the real answer to your own question, But at face value, I feel you have many reasons why you do what you do, maybe your not getting what you desire from your wife, girlfriend, S/O or maybe as time passed you've grown a bit and she's lagged behind you sexually, and you want more to satisy you without the clinging vines of attachment..Pay as you go so to speak (lol) I don't think your damaged in the least! If you give 100% to your family and homelife, if your a good parent, husband, provider and your not getting what you need at home, then you deserve to have time with Providers to get whatever it is you need. Remember when your with us..it's always about you..Don't you think you deserve it? I do, and many would agree with me. Jay
Everyone has issues man... Some of us just gravitate here as a way to deal with them and/or work through them.
Anyone that was leading a healthy and balanced life, where they set up there existance and relatiionships to be exactly what they wanted, would not need to be here. Most everyone here is escaping something, or making up for something that is lacking in their life.
The women are no different then the men on this either, IMO. Myself included. I don't plan on being here forever, as I've worked through a lot, and feel as though I am coming to a conclusion on the lessons I was seeking in this. This path has been a great way to really *know* myself, and has provided many opporunities for introspection and growth.
Follow YOUR path my friend... Wherever it takes you, it will lead you in the right direction.
It's in the DNA. The generalizations applied to male and female behavior are the same throughout recorded history. Man = slut, woman = cock blocker. The details get tricky.
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
VIP MEMBER
, you are now a VIP member!
We thank you for your purchase!
VIP MEMBER
, Thank you for becoming VIP member!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!
