Wow. While I felt this way before, I feel even more strongly about it now - I want NOTHING to do with crypto.

There's no central authority.  So bitcoin transactions are processed on a voluntary basis, as I understand it. It takes processing power and time as well as electrical power to verify a transaction.  The first one(s?) to verify the transaction gets the fee.  The higher the fee  you are willing to pay, the more people will chose that transaction to attempt to verify.  Since only one (or a few?) can win the race to verify, most verification attempts don't pay off for the people attempting to verify.  
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That's my sketchy understanding of bitcoin transactions.  It's probably wrong on the details, but I think the overview is generally correct.
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Bitcoin makes certain non-cash transactions possible that would otherwise be blocked by bank and credit card policies (or by some government laws.)  It's inefficient for day to day normal purchases that can be handled by standard electronic funds such as debit and credit cards, checks, and certainly cash.

Trust me, don't do it!! lol  
You can also pay with a CC, but tr*st only takes mastercard, and I only have a visa.  
I *stupidly* thought it would be simple like venmo. It is not.