A new acronym that too many men are familiar with Board Wife Experience.  Her some, but for heavens sake not all of them - they are almost limitless - symptoms:

You tell your wife that you want sex she says "go to bed and start without me."  Of course, she never comes to bed!

TER men have heard all the regular excuses - too hot, too cold, too tired, too many worries about work, shoes, car, kids, parents, dog, cat, flowers, grass seed, paint peeling on deck, laptop battery won't charge, airline miles expiring, etc.    But the All American Bored Wife Experience has to be experienced to drive you to hobbying.

She's worried about really important things:  Bush used to many adjectives in his last speech, Al Gore looks too fat in his black suit, HBO is scheduling her favorite shows at the wrong hour, the garbage company left the empty tubs on the wrong side of the street (real one for me!), The TV set is way too old and my die any minute, her car makes a funny sound at 4:39pm every day, Oprah's show was cut short for a baseball game.  There are REAL BWE's.  The others are, well, just "normal."

When you do get sex from a BWE, she often knits while you're pumping her.  Many times she's able to scream "oh you're the best!" while doing her nails.  Real BWE pros can make you cum while loading the washer (don't ask, I don't know)or, as I've heard, blow you while plucking their eyebrows.  That's gotta be a AAA BWE'er.

When you try to FK or DFK a BWE woman she will floss your teeth and send you a bill later.  Many times these women will let you suck their tits and do their makeup!  Come on, that's not a good thing to look up and see if you're a man!

I'm sure this panel of hobbyists have experienced other BWE items they can post?  

As Clint said...."Well, can you?  Punk!"

My experience is very different.  I have great sex with my wife.   Its just very infrequent as she has  a libido about 1/60th of mine.  She has told me she feels badly about it but just doesn't feel the urge that often.  Therefore, rather than subject myself to BWE and resent her for it, I fill the in between time by hobbying.

LOL, my BWE stands for bitch wife experience- she is on me griping so constantly I don't even want to be around her much less start something in the bedroom.  She's becoming one of the greatest contributers to the provider economy!

Does it ever occur to any of you men that your wives get bored and tired of YOU way before you even realize there is a problem in that area of your life??? All the excuses she gives you (as channel listed above) are not excuses at all....they are little white lies told to protect your ever-so-fragile egos that would totally self-destruct if you ever were told the cold honest truth! In the past 33 years that I have been having sex (and trust me, i've had ALOT of sex) there are only TWO men who ever could hold my attention in the sex department for any length of time.

"Does it ever occur to any of you men that your wives get bored and tired of YOU "

Then they should get their own board, and there is nothing stopping them form hiring an escort themselves. Hey what's he for the goose...

You should be thankful that men get bored with thier wives. I'm sure they comprise most of your business.

"Cui bono?" (thats Latin for "who benefits")

Your post will not change the opinions that these gentlemen express about their wives.....thus no benefit there.

Your post will possibly push many gentlemen (aka your consitituents) to see you in a more negative light than before....thus some loss there.

Your postings are usually enjoyable....this one is a little bit more "amazing"

DG

Look....if you are not happy with your wives, leave them.  If you do not have the courage to leave them, then you made your bed and quit the bitching.  After all, it is not 100 percent THEIR fault you all do what you do.  Please grow up and take some responsibility.

And I would not worry about your truthfullness harming your business Zayzha, you are one beautiful lady, made more appealing by speaking your mind without fear.

Plus, shoe on the other foot..last time I checked, providers are able to pick and choose their clients at their discretion.  If I was a provider, I would definately stay away from men who do not take responsibility for their actions and choices in life, and who appear to love to berate the women they married and supposedly love.  Not only would that be a HUGE turn off, it also throws up red flags that these people are dangerous and unhonorable.

...there was this one time in college when i watched tv while this guy was having sex with me...he was on top, and completely oblivious to my peaking over his head and at one point reaching over to grab the remote and increase the volume. hey, it was a good show! lol. but he was drunk, and a jerk to boot, so i felt entitled.

"BWE" tho is something very different and i have a great deal of sympathy for the men who must suffer with it. i'm part of the (quickly dying out) school of thought that says being a good wife entails placing your husband as your first priority always, which includes satisfying his sexual needs and desires, without complaint and with enthusiasm, whether it's something you selfishly desire or not. but apparently not many women went to that school.

I'm being totally honest here.  For many years I was one of the wives who gave the excuses.  My many discussions soon lead to begging and pleading but to no avail. Thus, I cheated...and was blamed for the marriage ending.  

I no longer blame others for any unhappiness or misery I may experience.  We can only be treated as badly as we LET others treat us.

As for seeing me "in a more negative light than before"....you suggest I was already in a negative light(?). This is the first I've heard that gentlemen contact providers based on their intellect....or lack thereof.....

Zayzha...forgive me.  I didn't intend to imply that you were already viewed in a negative light, just that movement of opinion would possibly be in a negative direction from its starting point....which may well be stratospheric.

And I have no doubt your intellect is superior....and, as a matter of fact, since you bring it that can be a phenomenally appealing attribute in a provider....that and breasties!

DG

but perhaps it is a BME (Bored Marriage Experience).... You get married, things are great - but then you start to realize - this person I wake up next to every day - and into the future for the rest of my life is NOT the person I married, rather someone else.  How different?  different enough to be classified as another species... perhaps from yet another planet...

And all the while these thoughts are going through your head, EXACTLY the same thoughts are going through your mate's head.  But alas, one of the things that you failed to not learn in school was how to talk to the opposite sex... especially in the running of a family...  finances, goals, and most important - the family product... what is it that you want the family to have as its primary product... for some families that is presteige; for some a devotion to god; for others, their kids... whatever it is, it must be envisioned by both of the parties in the marriage....  And who is CEO of the family - and who is CFO????   all questions that answers to which will determine how you get to your goals...

Then come the kids.... wow!  they can add or detract...  depending on how they are viewed... an asset to be cherished - or an obligation to be satisfied....

SO?  BWE?  BME.... time and life have a way of throwing curve balls at a marriage... did at mine.  did it create a BWE?  yea, and so she cheated to find that she was not bored, but I was boring.  and now?  She again finds that the man she is married to is boring.... me?  I am still boring....

AS was once pointed out on "happy days" by Fonzie.... most of life is taking care of business... being there - day in and day out... making sure that the mortgage is paid, taking out the garbage, and being sure that the kids homework is done....  The evenings at the Ritz to accept the honor of "Citizen of the Year"!  well that is not the day to day.

And if anyone gets married expecting the Ritz every night... well, I guess they too, will be bored.

my point?  We teach an expectation that is unreal and then are upset when our life partner cannot deliver.  We then resort to hour long episodes of artificial excitement.  Bored?  yea, my ex was bored.... but so was I.  We failed each other.

I know, kinda harsh - but only real.  The sad thing is that I learned too late - what I needed to know.

I don't see providers based on their intellect, but their attitude is as important to me as their looks. Your post came across as a post made by  a man hater. I doubt that was your intention, but it was IMHO the result.

Many hobbyists here don't really like women, either because of divorces, lack of success with civvie women, or whatever the reason. Providers unfortunately do have to deal with those types of men. Hobbyists on the other hand don't have to deal with man hating women. If I know in advance that a provider doesn't really like the peple that she is seeing, namely ME, I will cross her off my list immediatley.

In short, its your business, run it the way you want. It's my money, I'll spend it the way I want, and I won't spend it on a man hater.

I often thought of this myself. I was one of those wives at one time. I got BOARD with the same old stuff. I started to get creative, but then my creativity got shafted for lack of interest on HIS part...then he says, 'lets explore!' explore? MEANING...he had opportunity to engage in relations with others, while i stayed home with the kids. Feelings got hurt, words were said...now I can't keep him OFF my A**!
I have to say...BWE is mostly due to the regularity of most happenings in the bedroom. It's the SAME THING..ALL THE TIME! Keep in mind I said MOST.
Have most of you tried to even add spice to your sexlife before it got this far??? (toys, videos, etc etc) cuz I got a feeling most of you come to us ladies for that added excitement, the change, the additional 'thngs' we ladies do, but you may be too embarressed to try with your wives for fear of her saying, "Where the HELL did you learn THAT?!?" Now what do you say? JMHO...not to offend.

If your percentage of satisfactory sex partners is so low, it makes me think you didn't communicate very well what floats your boat.  BWE (Bored Wife Experience which I think is different than Board Wife Experience) could be caused by uncaring or dense husbands but I guarantee you there are bunches  of husbands who would love to turn their wives on and the failure has nothing to do with lack of trying or paying attention.

It's just my nature to bluntly debate an opinion.  My point, which I so often lose somewhere in the post, was that people should look at their own selves before pointing the finger at others for being the source of their problems.  And Rudy you are correct, I didn't communicate very well.  It was only when I stopped blaming others for my problems and began looking inward did I start to change.

It may just be that I'm at that age where physical attraction goes only so far, but I enjoy being entertained by a woman who can hold her own in a conversation as well as be sexy and positive in attitude.

You've always shown yourself to be a thinking man's gal Zayzha, and I've enjoyed that.

As for us guys being lousy lays, what can I say?

That's why you gals get the big bucks.

It's the circle of life.

shit storm!  And I did this with a little (not all) tongue in cheek.

Ladies, you know that we're hunter gatherers, and we are visually stimulated and we bore easily.   Most guys would put their dick in a vibrating chain saw it they thought they'd get away with it.

Guys are also notoriously unfaithful (although they're cheating with unfaithful women - unless it's a provider.  So takes 2 to tango) and we don't understand women's feelings very well either.

Question to you ladies:  Why is almost all the sexual media and outside stimulation addressed to capture men?  Porno in all it's varieties, strip clubs, Providers - yeah! - etc?   Not too many giggolos advertising.  Small market.

As Dr. Laura says to women when they call about keeping their men sexually happy..."just do it!"  Do it lots, do it different and you'll keep him home.   Not many women do that.

For the guys that bore their women - well I guess it's the women that the cheating men nail.

Interesting anger coming out here.  I hit a nerve.

Ga Gambler I'm surpried you even said this...

"Many hobbyists here don't really like women, either because of divorces, lack of success with civvie women, or whatever the reason."

And this...
"Providers unfortunately do have to deal with those types of men."

I would just like to set the record straight...I do not have to deal with those types of men...ever.

Now I see why most of the ladies find it hard to be really honest on here..and those that do, can earn the dubious title of "manhater:, given out by what I have seen "womenhaters". Interesting dynamic.

I am very new to this board and I am retired now. I still do have an interest in this community. I have read threads on this board about whether women really love thier job or are just good actresses and another great thread on AsPd.net about providers who are gay(leasbian) and provide. I am writing up a piece to post soon that deals with those two topics.

I tell you what GaGambler, your comments basically proved a theory I had when I was providing and deciding on whom to see, meaning what type of men. I realize you were generally speaking as I'm sure not all the hard core hobbyists types are like that but I do see your point.

I have read a lot of what a poster called Nitescape writes and frankly if even a snmall portion of guys feel like him, I'm very glad to have been someone that they never would have considered. He frightens me.

I do hope to have my other introduction piece finished as I am looking forward to sparring and just exchanging thoughts with the people on here. Everyone have a great day.

Erica Black...

No anger here, just utter and total confusion.

It's all an excuse!  "Men are inherently unfaithful"...so might as well be it!   Why do you fall into your own stereotypes?   It is giving up, and really very sad to see.

I am one of those supposedly stupid boring housewives who neglected her husband to the point that he had to do what men do, and go out and cheat.

Well, I could go down the stereotypical road...and get a nasty ass lawyer and rake his balls over the coals, etc etc etc.  But I am fighting it, I am researching, I am trying to see different points of view.  I am trying to understand and better myself, and our relationship so that we can hopefully one day have what we used to.

Why not get to know a woman and her feelings?  Why not try to get to understand her more?  I tell you this, if my husband had come to me and talked to me about how he was feeling, I don't think I would be here today.  It's a cop out!  Just because you do not know how women feel, doesn't mean you cannot find out, and perhaps have fun in the process.

So, not anger, but sadness....that people seem to fall into labels that someone somewhere puts on them.

..so men would have a place to sit their beer.

Bah, you didn't need my support.  You handled the flack with grace.

You speak your mind, and are spot on imo.  The world would be a better place if more would show the courage to do the same.

First off, I do not count myself among the women haters on TER. I had a brief period fifteen or so years ago that I was a little bitter, after a divorce that wiped me out financially, but not emotionally. I have been happily single ever since. I enjoy life, I hobby extensively, my civvie sex life is fine, I bear no ill will to anyone.

I also have the luxury of being able to be completely honest. I stand behind my statement that providers need to put up with the misogynists out there, maybe I need to qualify my statement that not all providers need to put up with them, but they are definitely part of the business, and by no means are they a small part.

I would continue this, but I just got back from the Monday night football game and in all candor my alcohol consumption this evening should probably preclude any further posts on my part this evening. I know I am a resident of Georgia and a season ticket holder of the Falcons, but I am a gambler first so let me finish up with a  Go Giants, Falcons Suck!!!

It sounds like a catch-22.  When the providers don't respond to our questions, we assume that they are just afraid of losing business.  But when they tell the truth, we criticize them.  What's left?  Should they just lie to make us feel better, like they do during sessions?  Or should they just avoid the boards altogether and only post advertisements about their touring schedules?  

I'm happy that Zayzha told the truth about how she feels.  I've always had respect for her, and now I have even more.  Frankly, I'd rather hear from an honest man-hater than a liar who pretends to like each and every one of us regardless of our opinions, physical appearance, or personal hygiene.  The former is a professional companion, albeit a bitter one; the latter is a true whore.  Which do you prefer?

"I would just like to set the record straight...I do not have to deal with those types of men...ever."

Well, how would you know that they were misogynistic until after you'd already met them?  And even then, people can lie and pretend to be something they're not.  Is it so far-fetched to think that a man can become a misogynist because of a divorce or a poor dating track-record?  Is it possible for such a man to pick up a phone and call a provider?  If the answer to either question is "yes," then you probably DID in fact deal with precisely this type of man during your career.  

I would go one step further and say that most of your clients probably fell into this category.  On some level, many hobbyists feel upset and resentful that they have to resort to seeing providers in the first place, and these feelings, over time, can turn into misogyny.  Lots of guys don't like the idea of forking over their hard-earned money for something that (in their opinions) should just come naturally, but they do it because they still want to get laid.  It's no fun feeling like a human ATM machine.  And don't give me any of that nonsense about "variety" or a frigid wife.  What does that prove?  The bottom line is no man would see providers if he could have all the sex he wants with a variety of women with no strings attached.  Is anyone willing to contradict this statement?