A provider on the ATL board suggested a frank discussion of boundaries may be helpful for inexperienced folks in the hobby. I think that's a good idea. Here are some of my thoughts.

....'s post started me thinking (which is dangerous) about how important boundaries are to maximizing our experiences int the hobby.

For the hobbyiest, it's important to understand and respect basic boundaries for several reasons. First, by understanding them we reduce our risk of becoming attached and doing something really stupid like falling in looooove with the first provider who is really skilled at creating the GFE experience. I won't call it an illusion because it's pretty damn real sometimes while it lasts! Second, it's important that providers feel as secure as possible in order for them to relax and entertain us in the manner to which many have become accustomed. Providers have enough to worry about without hobbyists adding to that by becoming attached.

Also, understanding and respecting these boundaries makes it less likely that a provider will intrude into the hobbyists private life, although I'm sure that happens much less frequently that the reverse. If it's clear from the beginning that each party moves back into the 'real' world after the session ends and that the transaction contracted for is finished, then both parties can feel much more comfortable and make maximum use of the time they have together.

This is not to say that hobbyists and providers can't bcome friends, or at least friendly. Certainly they can and do. However, it's extremely important that each party understand that the other will make this clear if they are indeed willing to have contact 'off the clock'. In the absence of any invitations to call, email, etc. it's better to refrain from doing so.

It might be helpful for those who are more inexperienced if the vets here would post some ideas about boundaries and how they may be violated unintentionally by otherwise nice folks.