Well, you already know how I feel.  I just sent you a PM, by the way.

-- Modified on 11/1/2007 12:21:25 AM

-- Modified on 11/1/2007 12:22:28 AM

I find talk very stimulating. When my S.O. and I were younger, and were going like rabbits, it was frustrating not to know what I was doing that stimulated her.  She enjoyed sex, but never provided guidance to make it more stimulating for her.  It was always kind of vague--"Everything you do is good."--not so helpful.

Talk that describes the fantasy from the woman's point of view does add to the sensuality of the moment.  Fantasy talk that decribes how you feel.  Fantasy talk that describes a role play. If a guy is doing something that could turn you on if the situation were real. Even something as simple as "Do that more." is helpful and increases a guy's ego that he is sexually masterful...more erotic talk is even more helpful.

I do understand your point about going off the deep end. There are some words I have never said myself...degrading...so I wouldn't say it or want to hear about it either.

The few civilian women I have been with were all quiet except one. I really got turned on by her vocal urgings and such. When done naturally (such as not as soon as someone touches you), but if done from the feelings happening it is a great turn on, at least for me. So far in my limited experience in this hobby I have not felt that anything said during intense moments were faked.

I think if you truly get into vocalizing because you feel it and not because you think someone wants to hear it, then go for it. If the other person leaves and thinks it was fake, so be it. You know you had a good time.

I am not put off by someone being quiet, just not too quiet. Don't fall asleep. A little moan or a bit of heavier breathing really helps out too.

As for how dirty should it be? Well personally using the "bad" words can be quite a turn on. Just don't get into the name calling stuff. Everyone is different though. I once knew of a woman who loved to be semi-humiliated verbally while being screwed.

I know this was mainly directed to hobbyists, but I'll chime in..

I've never personally been big on dirty talk in the sense of "Oh my god, you're cock is so huge, fuck me, fuck me harder baby, oh yeah, give it to me, you big studmuffin!" Like in porn-- it all seems so contrived, and I'd feel somewhat fake/self-conscious trying to duplicate it. However, I'm certainly not afraid to vocalize during sex either. If something feels good or I'm getting really into it, I'll say so.

That said, there have been a couple occasions where a guy specifically asked me to say something, a word or phrase, and I just couldn't get into it, because it was not something I felt was realistic, or a real turn-on to me personally.. but unless I sincerely objected on moral or personal grounds or something (ie. I would likely not engage in dirty talk that was blatantly demeaning or disrespectful to anyone, unless it was offensive only to the person requesting it, and that's what he got off on) I'll usually go along with such a request and give it my best.

Just my two cents...
Am interested to hear other hobbyists' opinions!~

XoXo
Marea

The first is talking about the sex you are actually having.  That can be real or faked and my preference is to just let the woman say or not say whatever she feels like.  If I think she's just saying words I want to hear, I'm not impressed, and it probably detracts from my experience.  (For example, when a provider says "I want your come inside me now" 10 minutes into the session, it's not a good sign ).

The second kind of dirty talk -- role-play conversation is quite different.  By definition, it IS acting.  But, as Layla points out, it can cross the line into an area that the hobbyist or provider is really not comfortable with.  In which case, STOP.  We're here to enjoy ourselves.

Dirty talk is fine, but don't leave out condom references.  Otherwise it sounds like bareback sex.  So instead of "ass fuck me with your fat stir stick" - you should be saying "lets genital assist our mutual masturbation with opposite sides of a piece of rubber".  That's hot because you are using non-renewable resources for sexual purposes, you naughty little sphincter minx.

That's my 2 cents (no prostitution implied with the mention of $0.02 - its a figure of speech).

If it's genuine stuff that's confirming what a person likes, or that it feels good, that's really cool. I love 'direction' from my partner (men are always getting direction from females...lol) as a feedback as to what she likes or des not like.
"Oh baby right there, yeah like that" is very cool.

"You wanna fick me? Huh? You wanna really pound me?" Is stupid!..... IMHO of course

Different strokes for different folks.

and would be if I had my druthers.

I can only recall one provider out of over a hundred that could weave an image of seduction and eroticism while teasing me and playing with me for what seemed like an hour.  She was so good that she even managed to use the noise from a maid outside the door and weave her into the fantasy.

It was an Oscar winning performance.  Darn, but this was before the internet and I could not find her again.

I don't particularly care for continuous dirty talk ... but I do like the moans and the groans.

OFF

Unrelated Gratuitous "I wish she were here to talk dirty to me" Boobiage Photo

Well timed and credible dirty talk can go along way in making the session that much hotter. As many others have stated, when a provider tries to talk dirty at the wrong time (i.e you just go down to eat her pussy and already she is yelling at you to tongue her sopping moist cunt and bite her clit) can be a real turn off. However, I have had providers yell amazing smut at me at just the right time (which puts me over the edge as I shoot my load) and this was a major turn on.

Look, it becomes pretty obvious when the talk is fake or the moaning and groaning are fake. (the latter one I can not stand) Its all about being credible and believable and delivering the talk at the right time. For the most part its all an act, so practice makes perfect.

I am not a porn video actor, just an average professional joe- don't talk like that in real life, so it is generally a turnoff to me if it is heavy.  I had one provider experience (my own fault- chose way too young!) where she thought she needed to be a low budget female porn video actress verbally and it was hard not to break out laughing!

Light normal sex talk-  "I want you in me NOW!!!!, even light I want to ride that...., and soft appreciative moans are the biggest turn on to me.

I would only add saying what comes naturally will always be well recieved. (We are sometimes smarter than we act and can(at least sometimes) tell if someone is just BSing--lol)
For me saying things that I dont feel is very uncomfortable and I understand exactly what youre telling us Layla.
Being genuine and true to yourself will always be well received if the guy perceives you really enjoy being with him. (No matter what the dialog consists of.) Words are just words..its the actions that go with them that count for me and I think most guys.

I have to mention one exception though. Hearing a request like "I want you to fuck me in my pussy" in a cute European accent has a wonderful charm to it.
Who knows she may really have meant it!! I doubt I'll ever know but I do rememeber it. lol
Hope this helps Layla!

Geez, it's both amazing and really saddening to hear people actually talk about what is "PC" when they are alone in the bedroom with another adult.


To me, it's a wonder how any of you can even achieve an orgasm, let alone have any fun and/or enjoy sex.

I don't want to waste my time responding to some of the views expressed here, because in a nutshell it can all just be said like this -  you are too uptight and insecure.


Dirty talk, role play, sexy clothes and props, whatever gets you turned on, is a good thing in the bedroom.

If you are uncomfortable with yourself, and have esteem and security issues, then what you can do and enjoy is going to be extremely limited, and I'm sure will lead to you pointing your finger and judging others, because YOU are unhappy with YOUR SELF.


Personally I LOVE dirty talk, and I enjoy it in many different forms.  

It can be in natural form, or contrived.

I absolutely LOVE contrived dirty talk, as part of role-playing.

It makes things much more intense and involved, when you are actively mentally engaging each other, and exploring stimulating each other MENTALLY, and not just physically.


I don't get it why some people are just basic animals, where they haven't learned to use their minds, as well as their bodies, in the bedroom....

and it's completely laughable, that these same "people", are the ones who are audacious enough to be pointing the finger at others.

I truly feel embarrassed for you, whether you realize how you are or not.

where unfettered lurid demands, submissions, declarations and wishes should be generously vocalized.
All too often in the civilian world far to much quiet reverence is attached to sex. When I'm hobbying I want the woman to look, act, sound and talk like some dissolute, nymphomaniacal slut.

I know what I'm goin to want when I'm "deflowered".  Convince me that I'm enjoying the experience and that you are at least not repulsed by me, that I'm more than a wallet (while on the clock), and that you are at least glad to be part of my experience even if I'm not the biggest hardest cock, most knowing and talented tongue and fingers, that you've ever experienced.  I will know why I am there with you (no delusions), just a setting and attitude that allows me to suspend my disbelief for a few minutes will make me feel good.  Keep it simple unless I show you, tell you, I want something specific.  If it feels good, tell me it feels good.  If it doesn't feel good, tell me what I can do to help if you want to really be part of the experience.  Otherwise, a little "F my P", "Yeah, that's good" "Cmon baby, my P is so wet (if it is), you know the basics until we get a rapport going.  I sure don't want a silent session, but I might be shy at first about saying things you might think are silly.  I know, you're the provider and I'm the client, but I'm still human.  Does that help?

If it is about the sex act or the soon to be sex act, I think it works well. Artificial moaning and groaning are a big turn off to me.

Also less is more as stated earlier

My wife won't vocalize during sex at all even though she enjoys it. I'm a communication nut and the absence of talk during sex is a little frustrating for me so I really enjoyed it when providers talked during sex- not the obviously fake stuff, just the "Oh yeah. Right there" or "Do you like ____ or ____ better?" or "Uuuugggghhhhmmmmm" stuff.

I remember the retired Jacqueline of LA use to plead..."fuck me...fuck me...." In her French accent it *really* worked.

And I'll never forget Sarah Jade of Knoxville..."Don't stop, don't stop..oh please don't stop" during doggie while she frantically rubbed her clit...OMG, I need a minute alone....

and Jenny in the Valley...."I love it I love it I love it I love it" while I did her standing up.

Somehow the verbalized encouragement just takes it to a different level.

Have I experienced obvious "fake" dirty talk? Well...but isn't the WHOLE THING FAKE?

C'mon..what part of this does anyone think is real? Would any of these ladies be having sex with any of us if we weren't PAYING THEM?

That doesn't take anything away from any provider I mention here or elsewhere. They were/are great at their jobs. But whatever a provider does to add credibility to her act, I appreciate it.

Thanks ladies. Thank you a lot.

But it's hard to do right first time I'm with a person, I'll agree. If the she has practiced it before than it is much easier.

I have seen other providers who can't do dirty talk, it just doesn't come out of their mouths for some reason.

It's not so much a matter of acting as you think (or at least not with me). It's a matter of giving pictures in shocking, insulting language that enhance the sensations. The dirty language puts an edge on it that the person cannot ignore or block out. It actually awakens the hearing and makes it an erogenous sense that heightens arousal and orgasm.

The very best dirty talker I met (she retired right as she became my ATF, alas!) would tell me in doggie about fucking all of her friends one at a time at a party one at a time. She went into other details. She was bisexual and had many female friends. An amazing bit of imagery in doggie! I've had fantasies about that moment ever since. As for my talk back to her, I said in a review that it all went right to her clit.

Which makes another point: sometimes you say things that insulting just because it brings other hormones into the mix which raise the arousal higher and result in a greater orgasm.

That doesn't mean that every guy or girl using them thinks of it that way. Maybe some do make it demeaning. But it can have very good results regardless.

I think it's pretty much always fake, but given the awkwardness that occurs when two people have just met, any attempt at conversation and lightening the mood is welcomed.

Dirty talk to me is a signal. It means that the provider is saying, "OK now I am providing you the service that you came for, so now is the time for you to get what you want." When they start talking dirty, I start getting more assertive about what services I would like.

So it's fake, but it's good fake.