It just struck me that many who post on the discussion boards seem to think the guys who use this site have some common bond. We do. We all breathe, we all have a Y-chromosome, and we all think we need more or better or dfifferent sex than we're apparently getting in civilian life.

Given the nature of the conversations I have with male friends at work and at play, I'd say that the only thing that REALLY bonds us together is a willingness to part with some cash. Some of us want fantasies, some want the fantasy to turn to reality, some want "to pay them to leave afterwards." Many have wives and children. Some have never had sex EXCEPT with a provider. Some, apparently, haven't splurged yet and haven't had sex WITH a provider. For some reason, however, many of us seem to think we're comrades with all the others.

So, if there WERE a hobbyist convention, I think we'd find little common ground other than the debates about what qualifies for a >7 performance rating.

I'm not posting this to be contemptuous of others; but I DO think we should all make certain we don't too easily internalize others' experiences as our own. Most of us can learn a lot here, nevertheless.

I have sometimes thought the same thing...but I didn't get the last two lines about being contemptuous...or internalizing others' experiences....how does that have to do with ever meeing each other?

I have been tempted once or twice to directly contact some of the members of TER whom I see post on my local region/city board as well as this one though...but then again, it is hard enough to plan to see a provider!

I have made several very good friends through contacts with other TER members in my area.  In fact one of them and I are working on a business venture together.  We may have a lot more common ground than you think.  In this hobby I also find it helpful to have someone I can talk to that is not judgemental and understands some of the issues we face.  That is very hard for anyone to do who has not been in the hobby.

-- Modified on 10/26/2003 7:04:29 AM

-- Modified on 10/26/2003 7:06:19 AM

Turns out there is some common ground with all of them. Whether in business, sports, politics, music, or whatever, there has been a ton of common ground to cover.

I'll also say the the people I have met socially (both hobbyists, and providers) have been intelligent, articulate, polite and abiding in all of my dealings with them.

Therefore, I have to disagree with you on your point about not having much in common. On your admonition about internalizing others experiences as our own, I have a very full life so I don't need to live vicariously through someone else. Based on my conversations with the other gentlemen and ladies I have met, I have to say that they don't need to live their lives through anyone else either.

Just my .02.

Cheers,

HPG

have a get together instead of a convention that way you can mingle and chat with the gents as well as the ladies.

We have those parties in Philly (and the surrounding areas all the time.) I love them~~ You get to really meet the people that you chat with (that you haven't met) and you also get to catch up with your regs too.

I like the parties because I am not working and therefore can stuff my face as much as I want!!!

Kisses, Shaye

What ever ones avocation is if they find others who enjoy it there is a bond. This doesn't mean they would all make swell roommates or best friends.
   The mere fact that we accept and are comfortable with the exchange of cash for sex bonds us. Bible thumpers persecute us and LE prosecutes us. From the posturing chest thumping guy who loudly proclaims "I never have or will pay for sex" to the many industries who would bar or terminate your employment if they heard you engaged in the activity; We are discriminated against.
If these aren't reasons to bond, share and find solice and support with others of like mind then what are stamp collectors and model plane builders getting together for?.
 

I'm not sure what you're trying to convey with the last sentence of your post, but I've met several guys from TER & found that there's a lot in common besides things related to the hobby...in some cases a great deal in common.  If the entire male TER population were thrown together en masse that might not be as true, but the same thing can be said about any large group of people.  However, we're all normal people, so why wouldn't it be reasonable to expect there are others who are similar in their interests & views?  It has nothing to do with living vicariously through anyone else...actually I've spent more time in conversation with these guys about other things than I have about the hobby.

I posted the message at the head of this thread rather cautiously, because it struck me that the only thing we have in common is the most basic biological instinct - the desire for sex. I'd read other threads that were started from dramtically different viewpoints on this by posters who seemed to infer we'd all have a common perspective just because we were "hobbyists". I compared it to breathing, because I don't think most of us would expect to acquire shared wisdom on breathing by asking deep questions of someone else just because they also breathe.

There are people here who drop $10,000 on multi-day parties most of us cannot imagine. There are people who just want to get their rocks off and don't care much what the "partner" looks like. There are people who fall in love with every woman they pay, and people who think no provider has the right to turn anyone away. There are people who would NEVER need to pay for sex, and people who'd never have sex without paying.

I'm glad the forum exists. I've learned a lot, and I've been pointed towards (and away from) good times (and hopefully avoided bad times).

I must admit to some sadness that I cannot discuss this "hobby" with any of my "real-life" friends, and I CERTAINLY don't mean to imply this isn't an extraordinarily valuable resource.

"I must admit to some sadness that I cannot discuss this "hobby" with any of my "real-life" friends, and I CERTAINLY don't mean to imply this isn't an extraordinarily valuable resource."

About 70% of men in the US will hobby at least once and annually about 20% do.  Chances are, if you're with 10 other guys, at least one other is a regular hobbyist and 6 others either have or will.