Last night I got a last minute, later night call from a fellow I had seen once before and liked. He had a unexpected flight delay and found himself with some extra time.

Some of the items that added up to a 'never see this guy again'

1. He made a few comments that lead me to believe I wasn't his first choice. Didn't actually state it but was fairly obvious that I was the only person who answered the phone... *this isn't so bad except if you are calling some one last minute and later in the evening and expecting her to run.. you might make some attempt to act like she was a first thought. *or at least not make it clear she wasn't*

2. I asked time amount desired.   Asked "you're wanting to purchase one hour?"
and the response is one I  absolutely hate when it isn't sincere.  "uhhhh..... one ... maybe 1.5"
this is a manipulative attempt to get me to agree to come by hoping I'll be motivated by the extra cash idea...  It is a disrespectful move IMHO.    He might have been honest, addmitted he wanted an hour and tipped me, even an extra $20 for running last minute, would have been a nice gesture instead of playing games.

3. He had called me about a month earlier asking I verify to a lady in another state so she would see him.  I took ALOT of time on the phone explaining *extra nicely* why I didn't feel it was a valid system asking he talk to her honestly and directly and was sure she would see him.  (assuming he was somewhat discerning with the ladies he contacted) *which turned out to be a WRONG assumption.  see next complaint* I had asked not to be used as a verification source.
After all that effort --- he spent most of the hour NAGGING me to be a verification source for him.  Claiming he was having a hard time meeting nice ladies. He refuses to use any established verification service, will not email any lady, and will only call from a blocked number.(?) and he wonders why he is having some difficulty?

4. But apparently he's been successful at seeing some.  He gave me a loooong break down of all the ladies he'd seen in the short interim of our first date and this one.   Plenty.  
Ladies like one in Detroit who told him LE was too busy to bother with individuals and getting all that silly info from a client is not important.  
A lady he found on a popular website, we can't mention here, who came by and did a grab and dash. *did she have a website or any established presence?... No of course not- but she looked good..duh.*  
He was seemed like a giant fool by the end of the hour.  

Like some sort of desperate crack addict.. *pun intended*

What a giant turn off.  
Who I thought as sort of a quirky sophisticated world traveler is now a slobbering fool.

For both sides of the fence.. ladies and men.. less talk is better.  

I have to thank this fellow though becuz I now think I'll scale down my conversation to a few comments about the weather and I APPOLOGIZE to anyone I've ever said anything more then that to in our time together.

Me thinks you're gonna get it for not adhering to Alpha male hobbyist 101.

He's paying so does it matter what he says, how he says it and of course you cannot come on here and complain about it. Duck and cover Alea...it's coming your way.

BTW...not my feeling on the subject...just read a post a few posts earlier and wow did she get slammed (and supported, but those guys copped it also).

By you interjecting your HO venom in the most opportune time. I saw nothing wrong with her post, but yours of course was meant to be a bitch-slap at others in other threads that do not have shit to do with this one.

Crawl back into the HO lair and come back out when we tell you to. Isn’t that the language you are used to hearing from gentleman here?

Hopefully your tongue was in your cheek on that last comment; because good conversation about a helluva lot more than the weather is the hallmark of an excellent provider. I can't even begin to list all the great things I've learned from providers.

While I am not *directly* guilty of the exact same things this guy has done; I'm definitely indirectly guilty of one of them.

Specifically, because of the way I schedule sometimes as much as a year in advance; it can make a new lady I'd like to see feel pretty damned un-special.

I'll say "Can't see you know because A is March, B is April, C is May .... how does October look?"

So what I've done is simply stopped booking until my schedule clears out and I'll only have maybe 2-3 way-advance-booked appointments a year so that I have the flexibility to see a woman more quickly.

Because you know what? I don't care where a woman is in my schedule, if she is there at all it is because she has impressed me as a very special and worthwhile person.

And it sucks to make special people feel like they are 2nd or 5th fiddle.

A lady from Seattle gave me the first clue that my scheduling approach was problematic; but you've confirmed that.

you could not keep that subservient HO act up forever.

BTW, you are right.  That OP was a whiney "it's tough being a HO" mud spot on the board. Poor thing!  She wasn't his first choice!  So what, his money is still green!
Ladies, when you feel the need to spew this kind of whimpering drivel on the board, please remember the kind of shit you put the guys through who want to see you!

MattGina will soon wake up, have his cup of herbal tea, and a rice cake,turn on his laptop, and then suit up in his armor to save the fair maiden.

I am somewhat sympathetic to the guy's time predicament and calling on short notice but as to rest of his "no information" paranoia I'll defer comment.  

Most of the time my hobby opportunities come from canceled appointments. Consequently when the opportunity presents itself, I usually call two or three ladies in a short period of time to see if I can connect with one. I don't call them all at once but in 5 minute or so intervals. Sometimes the first lady calls back first sometimes it is the third lady. I have a list of ladies I want to see and all the ladies I call are on the list. So, it is more a matter of who answers first and if they can meet. I never even try to communicate via email. Although with the cell phone technologies as it is I may need to rethink that.

I have no desire to be disrespectful of any of the ladies it is simply the way it works with my schedule.

As to the conversation, many of the best compliments I have received about conversing with people have been simply because I kept my mouth shut, listened, and acknowledged the person as they talked about themselves. Guys like (want) woman's approval. It provides them a sense of self-worth. I won't speak for the ladies except to say that in the sessions I have enjoyed, they usually carry the conversation. But I actually enjoy that.

Alea, sorry you had the bad experience, I am sure it will improve. Tell your "friend" to write some reviews, gets some memberships and grow-up. It is time that he stands on his own two hobby feet and not try to continue to walk on top of yours.

I don't see why you are insulted because you were plan B. If you are professional that should not bother you. Of course, I would not come out and tell you that either. No one likes to be second fiddle.

If you are not willing to share and verify a hobbyist, I would not see you. I believe that private networking is an important part of the hobby. However, you have your reasons so my opinion means nothing. No biggie.

Calling a hobbyist a fool is a very poor marketing strategy, especially since he PAID you and was a repeat. I assume he is not a TER member, otherwise you would not be regurgitating all of this.    

Providers like you are on my never see list. With only two reviews in 2010, I guess I am not alone. That's too bad, because you look hot.

I think you are painting with a bit too broad of a brush here.  You answered a call from a blocked number late at night.  There is a reason why most providers don't take those sorts of calls. A guy looking for a last minute P4P booty call is most likely going to be more trouble than he's worth.  I dare say if another woman had gotten back to him after your conversation he probably would have no-showed on you!

That being said, hobbyists who take the time to book in advance, submit to proper screening, use email and unblocked phones can also be quite a lot of fun to spend an hour or two with. Heck, some of us can even carry on a conversation and appreciate women who are interested in doing the same.

1. Bad form on his part. IMO, he is setting the tone for a less than spectacular date, even before it happens.

2. Negotiations are, unfortunately a part of the process.  It is what it is.  The lady needs to make it understood up front what the time and donation will be.  You had every right to ask for extra for the last minute thing and he had every right to accept or decline.

3. So you don't contact other providers for verification, either?  I think that is THE thing this board does for the ladies, establish who is safe to see and who is not.

4.  The level of verification is a choice made by each lady.  The fact that he got ripped off was a product of his unwillingness to go through the verification system and should be a lesson learned by him.

I understand your position, but what I read seems like poor communications and lack of social skills on his part, but not a deal breaker.

The popular preferred client order is Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Denzel, 48,000 others and then Sofla and now this guy. I'm not last!  Sweet!

A lot of VERY excellent providers will accept no substitutes for provider verification.

The guy won't provide any information. How would another lady even know for sure she was talking to the right guy ... blocked cell number right.

He could just as easily scam ladies with a group of guys using "safe words" that the provider gave him. How could the providers know it was really him. If this guy doesn't want to give out info why should he really expect Alea or anyone else to continually vouch for him. I think they (Alea and the providers) are the ones that are being placed in a position of compromise.

Let the guy work the CL and the other lists.

And as a reminder, this was only the second time he had  called her. It is not like she has a history with the guy. If she had seen him numerous times ... different story maybe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnVBgp7Ud98

At least literbike has the sense of not having her reviews or website link (w/her username being pretty much an alias) when she posts.

Ladies, enjoy my art & creativity.

Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah,
STFU!

SirFucknPaul

She said she had seen him once before and liked him, (her words).
If I read her rant correctly, she had seem him a second time. Obviously she screened him in order to see him the first time.
Her refusal to verify ANY hobbyist is a policy that she had voiced before. I can't condemn her for it because she must have her reasons.
I would not personally see a provider with that policy. I would also not recommend a provider like that. Verification works both ways.
I have no problems with providers, their screening and how they wish to conduct their own business.
I simply choose to bypass providers like her especially ones that trash their clients and call them fools and crack addicts because she didn't like to be second fiddle.  

I think this guy is not doing himself any favors...  and his over-run mouth certainly does not show him to be a great genius.
I use a hobby phone so my Fav ladies recognize the number...    
It's really not polite to kiss & tell...  I never discuss other providers (or civies) I have seen.  I just don't

I think you could have handled it better though maybe not.  If a client is not thinking clearly, is when YOU must be most solid.  You need rules & if it goes outside those rules, you stop.  In the bedroom or on the phone does not matter.
skb

Quite a number of providers have posted variations on the theme that, summarized, goes like this:

"You realize your ugly, overweight, bald, smelly self is a real turn-off ... right?"

Others post stuff like:

"I would NEVER date a man who was a hobbyist!"

etc. etc. etc.

Two wrongs don't make a right, of course. Trying to make hobbyists feel like they are worthlessly unattractive, morally inferior and the last man on earth a provider would ever sleep with voluntarily is really wrong. And it indirectly makes a provider's job a lot harder than it would otherwise be. It creates an insurmountable credibility gap.

But it is likewise hurtful for a hobbyist to go out of his way to make sure a provider knows she was his 96th choice.

The hobbyist was likely just uncouth.

But when providers post that sort of stuff clearly intended to have a negative emotional impact on clients; that's just wrong.

is a bit of an asshole, I do disagree with your decision to post this here. Time and time again, we see posts from some poor slob who just had a bad date, and is pissing and moaning about it on the boards. More often than not, he is given the advice that since he's not willing to divulge the name of the lady, his post is useless, and that he should just move on. I might give you the same advice. Your post has no value, other than to rile up a few people who clearly don't need to be riled up. Obviously, you'll get no sympathy here. The best place to find it is in the dictionary somewhere betwen shit and syphilus. Perhaps you'd get more responses to your liking on the provider's only board, but not here.

How can you justify this as a good use of her time. I guy sees her once ... now twice ... and wants her to spend time on the phone verifying him.

I wouldn't do this in my own business ... see a client for an hour ... then spend more time than that and in a sense put my reputation on the line ... that he is a good guy. Why, because he doesn't want to take the time or spend the money to get verified. That seems to be a warning to me. Why are we defending a guy who is trying to circumvent the system. Most guys have verification methods ... why should he be different. We as Hobbyist should tell him to ... step up!

Providers aren't in the business of verification. Neither am I. If we are talking about a long time client and many meetings okay but we are not. One time prior to this visit.

Please note I have purposely avoided the other point's Alea presented I just happen to agree with her on this one.

No offense Alea, but you sound like a total turn off.

1. A few comments that make you think you aren't his first choice. So what? You were his last choice. So what's the problem?

2. Do you really say to guys "Are you wanting to purchase one hour"? Really? Do guys hang up on you when say that? It sounds as warm and welcoming as "You want fries with that?" Furthermore, being indecisive between an 1.0 or 1.5 hours isn't an indication of him manipulating you. It just means he's not sure how long he'll want to stay. Hard to imagine why he might be re-thinking an original plan to spend an hour and a half with you after being asked the hooker equivalent of do you want fries with that. Seems to me, most guy would be wondering at that point if you offer half hours just to hedge their bet.

3 & 4. Gee, the guy isn't seeing women with "websites and web presence", most of whom require references. If you refuse to be a reference for him, I can't imagine why these women won't see him. Scratchin my head here.

The fact that he won't use any sort of verification service, calls only from a blocked phone, those are on him. The rest of your diatribe is 100% on you.

I can't help but wonder why YOU saw him. I certainly wouldn't have. Your nose is awfully high in the air right now for you to admit you saw a guy with no refences (you don't use them), and absolutely no information about him whatsoever.

Sorry to be so blunt, but this has to be one of the most arrogant posts I've read in a very long time.

If he talked that much on the phone..I can just imagine what your DATE was like.

But now you feel it's okay to bash himon here?

Secondly...where in your head did you get the idea that it's not okay for guys to contact more than one escort?

Thirdly...the name-calling is outrageous.

I think you are now what I call a blubbering foolish escort

You should scale down your posts to a few comments about the weather and leave the escorting to the professionals.

It's a sad day when two, probably lovely gentlemen are having a hard time taking a bit of a joke. So sorry you're both having such a bad day.

And I am so sorry for hurting your feelings and unleashing such anger. I love you guys on here and have a special place in my heart even for those guys who get upset at times like the two of you cuties....

Oh you are too sweet...thank you. you are so talented to be able to find such great stuff...have a great day Sir Paul.

1. In your business, is it really that important to you that you are not the second or third or even the 35th person on the list? How many damn times are we told over and over again by the ladies in this business that it is ONLY a business and to not get too close and personal. If you feel offended that you were not first in line, then you are making it personal. Stop it.

2. "He might have been honest, addmitted he wanted an hour and tipped me, even an extra $20 for running last minute...". Basically you are saying that you expect tips if at any time you are being inconvenienced by the client, such as running out at the last minute. If you are so inconvenienced you can say no, but even then don't expect any more than your rate. I take his response to mean he wanted to see you for an hour and if things were going nice enough he would want to extend it another 1/2 and he would have the correct compensation for you added to the envelope at the end.

3. Your feelings about using another provider as a reference is valid to you and I will not even try to argue against it. But to spend an hour on the phone with a guy you have seen once trying to explain it, that is crazy.

4. By allowing him to tell you all these stories, I don't feel for you at all. You are running a business and one thing about running a business is that you need to learn when to cut someone off on the phone. Was this guy that you have seen only once so important to you or your business that you felt the need to have long phone conversations with him and let him tell you all these ridiculous stories? I might be able to see it if this guy was a long time regular, but for someone who up to this point was a "one off", that is silly.

b-

Hey D-P, nice of you to take the time out of your day to reply to my post. Subservient...no, realize where I am ...yes.

And for the record, what I REALLY feel does not matter when I come to play in YOUR sandbox. I play nice and leave happy. Truth has nothing to do with an anonymous hobbyist board where I know no-one and no-one knows the real me. In fact I am sort of "at work" when I come on here to mingle and comment.

So if getting angry at me makes your day...have at it but have have fun doing it or it's not worth the effort. And I know you really don't mean it...

can be hazardous to your health. Even the ladies are pit bulls!

I know and I thought I made a little light joke but not so much according to the responses I got. And I wasn't even agreeing with her. I kind of had a feeling of the shit storm that was going to come down. Have a great day everyone...even the angry ones...

Your words, and I agree with them

"I have my limits and will enforce if need be, other than the obvious...cleanliness, respect, it's your deal and I am there to make you squirm."

I would be willing to bet that you don't conduct "belly button inspections either" lol

Just like you, I am "funnin"
Do come in for a customized fitting though

Lol no I don't and if he had lint...so what, I just don't stick my tongue in his belly button. Plenty of other things to do with it.

Why thank you...do you carry muzzles to wear while out in the evening? A lady has to match the dress with the muzzle you know.

Just looked at her reviews

It's not about anger
It's about stupidity and arrogance
And it's her opinion the male caller had both, but it appears to me, she needed some of it to post as she did

I can honestly say that some fellas have rubbed me the wrong way   pun intended

But I'm not going to stick their heads down a commode

before most of the providers on this Board began kindergarten. All of us ocassionally need a moment to vent. In the Hobby there are few places available and obviously this is not one of them.

I have never met Alea nor am I offended by her vent. She didn't ID the guy. She just vented. TER might be helpful desirable place if a person could vent without having to take the kind of grief that many of you are inflicting.

I knew you were a sweetheart under all that bluster...

I don't know how long you have been around TER but it is well known that when a provider vents and name calls or somehow insults a hobbyist or hobbyists in general, she will pay the price. We need to remember where we are playing and when we are not in charge of the sandbox...don't start flinging dirt.

There are some very highly restricted provider only boards and ladies can join and vent to a willing and very supportive crowd...this is not one of those crowds.

Biting the hand that feeds is not good for business.

This is not the board to do this. There are provider boards and if the need is really there, start a blog under another name and have at it. Venting is good, but the grief you get after and especially under her working name is really not worth the trouble IMHO.

and then going into a bitchfest about the guy thatr called her doesn't exactly endear her to the community. Doing it under her "real name" doesn't say much about her judgement either.


I am not offended either, but I wouldn't see the OP after her post today at gunpoint. She has only harmed herself here today, and provided some of us with a little entertainment.

If it weren't for stupid people, who would the rest of us have to laugh at? rofl

-- Modified on 5/18/2010 12:35:59 PM

I always answer verification emails from providers pronto. You must not.
It takes me less than 30 seconds to reply to a provider who has asked me to verify a gentleman.
I don't get this issue.


This really bugs me ...your quote

"Who I thought as a sort of a quirky sophisticated world traveler is now a slobbering fool"

How could you come OUT here on this board and say such things??

Some people just can't manage their mouth. Nothing to be upset, just chalk it up as stupid experience. Happens to the best of us occasionally.

it's BS and it does not show right away but you find out, or it's actual honest to god truthn - and truth has no place in this fantasy world of ours.

It is disrespectful to book, and pay for 1.5 hours when you know you are going to be ok with one? Sorry, but this guy won't be the first one making the assumption that the extra cash, if not appreciated, will at least not be a reason to get upset.

First, the OP. Yeah she's venting and whining a bit in the first three points. We've all done it to some degree, and if that's how she wants to present herself here, that's her prerogative and her risk.

RE: #3 and referrals, it is also her prerogative to not play nicely with other providers and her risk. Providers and clients should all note this is how she does business and make your own choices.

As for point #4, the guys an ass, and yes she did see him once before. BFD! I am sure all providers & clients here have sen someone they whish they hadn't either after the initial, or a subsequent, meeting. She didn't out him here, and frankly, many folks do much worse with less grief.

And as for my subject line? So often we (clients and providers) post things that are mutually exclusive on their face, and we get all worked up about it. We want our cake and we want to eat it too.

Maybe it's screening (too much or too little)... or maybe it's the fantasy and she moaned too much or too little or she did/didn't tell me how big my dick was...

There was another post where a provider was upset when a client deflected her compliment. First, his choice. Second, remember what this is. Third, a compliment is like a gift. Once given it is no longer yours. The receiver can accept graciously, trash it, or whatever they like. It's now theirs.

Being attached to how a client reacts to your compliment is silly. If you really enjoyed it, great. Even say so if you want, but realize that there is deception built into the whole relationship, so don't get your panties into a wad over some guy remembering this is P4P.

We cannot fool ourselves. P4P is no easier (just different) than real relationships. If we forget that, we will all be worse off, and most importantly, we won't enjoy ourselves.

That is the saddest part.

What is wrong with not being the first choice? I am just asking because I am curious. I understand why (I guess) why you don't verify but it could be a turn off to some potential clients. I would have have taken a blocked call from a client regardless of the time. You seem too upset by this and that you took it personal. It does not paint you in the best light but at least you got out your vent.

If you are really that unhappy about it all ... why don't you call the guy up and tell him what Alea said about him.